From lame ass to badass. My transformation

[kristian]

So I decided to push myself again, after saying I was too tired to approach girls. I can't just stop it. I love everything about it. Before I explain what I did day game wise let me mention some of the teachings from yesterday's outing.

*Escalate a little slower. And do it little by little. (Like you did at your pre-Girlschase days).
*Instead escalate with your eyes. And start touching from there.
*Push it little by little. Get compliance. You have now the "feel" of which girls are ready to go.
*Move girls from the dance floor after talking and making them hook.
*Some places are better than other to pull from.

And now back to day game approaches.

The computer girl

So when I was writing the previous post, I notice a girl sitting a couple of seats away from me. Just my type; nice ass, blonde hair, blue eyes... She looked entranced on her computer. All by herself. Perfect for an approach.

Me: So how's your Sunday so far?
Her: (Looks at me a little happy and confused). I am doing fine. I am at work actually.
Me: Oh, what do you work with?
Her: I take care of a woman sitting in a wheelchair. She is at the theater. She wanted to attend by herself so she will send me a message when she is ready for something else. In the meantime, I am just waiting.
Me: Nice, that means you're a person who cares about people. And it's not just working for the money.
Her: (Smiles) Thank you. I really like my job.

Note: Mind you that I was eye flirting a lot. And being sexual with my eyes, even when we were talking about mundane things. That's what I've been getting out from rehearsing sexual tension and emotional transmutation.

Me: I am writing in my journal actually. (This journal actually the last post, haha).

She hooks. And ask me about me, my journal, my music, work and so on. It turns out she is from a small town outside of Oslo. We talk a bit more. I excuse myself (after getting her number, that is). After writing the last post, I resume the conversation before leaving and day gaming a bit more.

Note: On another note, I could have been even more direct in my intentions "Anne, I like your vibe, find you attractive and I would like to meet you". That would make it easier to let her know what I am about when I message her.

The one I went super sexual with

In between the computer girl and the super sexual girl, I met Led Zeppelin girl (all those where random approaches, meaning that I did not get any invitations). Zeppelin girls was more friendly than the other girls.

Okay, so I was walking by the pier in the ocean when I spot this energetic brunette walking my way. I knew I wanted to talk to her.

Me: Hi.
Her: Hi.
Me: So what are you up to on a day like this?
Her: Nothing special. I am waiting for my friend.
Me: Kristian is my name.
Her: Martha.
Me: let me guess. You sound Italian.
Her: No, I am from south-Europe, though.
Me: Portugal.
Her: Serbia, actually.

This girl was very playful. Flirting back as intensely as I was. I decide to move her and tell her she was going for a walk with me. She agrees.

Me: So who are you waiting for?
Her: My friend but she is so late. As always.
Me: Good you found me.
Her: (laughs).

I was trying to find a place to isolate her. But all benches were occupied. Suddenly her friend says she is on her way. I see this as an opportunity to try out new things.

Me: So I will have to go now, Martha. Let me grab your number so we can meet up and have fun, soon.
Her: But I barely know you.
Me: Listen, there aren't any guys like me. You know that. Guys here don't have my balls.
Her: That's true...
Me: Youll never know. I could make it unforgettable.
Her: I guess its true. But I can't guarantee anything.
Me: That's okay (moving really close to her face).

I kiss her on her cheek with a sensual voice and tell her "You know what I am about". Before departing from that place.

The Spanish girl


So a couple of blocks from my home. I spot a cute bottle blonde, curvy girl. After saying hi to my friend. I excuse myself and see her standing by the corner looking a little lost.

Me: You look a little lost.
Her: (happy and a little confused). Excuse me, I do not speak Norwegian.
Me: (In English) You look a little lost. I see you with the drumsticks. Are you a musician?
Her: I am. I am travelling here with my band.
Me: Awesome. Kristian is my name. Where are you from?
Her: Lucia. I am from Spain.

And then I start speaking Spanish to her. She hooks. Hard. And sexual tension starts soaring through the roof. I instantly move closer, start touching her a bit more. Eye fuck her and so on...

It turns out she had to meet her friends who were at a place she couldn't find. I try to set up a date with her, only to know she was leaving that same night. I show her my music and she hooks even harder. I touch her but don't invite her home (I could just do that).

But I pushed myself harder than ever this week. Wow.

Things to improve

*Being more direct to why I want their number.
*Finding out which girls are ready to fuck and which are just being friendly.
*Speaking to more girls.
*Moving forward with those who are dtf.

Things I did well
*Sexual tension.
*Banter.
*Emotional contagion.
*Having fun.

 

[kristian]

So I just realize how hard I actually work to get results. I am, in many ways, still in the jester stage, still making mistakes and trying to meet girls that aren't that interested in me. It's either that I have bad radar to spotting interested girls, or it could be that my fundamentals still need some tweaks. I still get IOIs every day, but the results desired are still lacking a bit.

On another hand; I am still having some improvements here and there. For instance, I can almost at will be in a sexual state and often transfer that state to some of the girls I talk to/interact with.

I had a "date" with a nerdy girl last Thursday, and I could see how my state made her nervous. It was a little electrifying, considering that she was initially not that open to my advances. We hung out the entire night and by the end of it, we kissed. Not bad considering she wasn't complying to my advances beforehand.

The other aspect I am improving on is letting physical escalation be gradual. I am doing it the same way I did in my pre-girlschase days. That makes me back off if I move too fast and let me touch hands/arms before kissing. I can do it with whatever girl I am flirting with. Along with sexual tension, that makes game a lot more fun.

I am also becoming increasingly better at handling tension. Girls laugh a lot more nervously when I choose not to break it. Those were aspects I did not have in my tool belt before that I am practicing deliberately.

So now I am always having one or two or three girls I am flirting with. A lover and some other prospects as well. I have only been social circling this week. And having some a-ha-moments, but I also see how much I learn doing actual cold approaches. Those are the best and I will increase those a lot more.
-----------

I still miss Mrs J. A lot. I think of her a lot and even though I stopped contacting her the last 10 days, I still haven't stopped talking to her girlfriends. It hurts to think about her and no amount of talking to new girls seem to help me forget her. I guess more time away from her social circle is needed.

Things I can improve
*Stop obsessing over Mrs J.
*Having more cold approaches. Going out and doing more night game.
*Having two dates a week, meeting female friends in order to practice sexual tension.

Things I am doing better at
*Sexual tension and not breaking it.
*Escalating little by little.
*Having "larger than life moments" (I usually have them with girls I am really attracted to). And I am having them once a week only to know she either has a boyfriend or the buss starts coming and we have to stop our interaction or friends are there or some other thing involved.

All in all - my improvement rates are faster than before. By far. That gives me some hope for the future.

 

[kristian]

I am starting to fall in love with this game. And the love is growing every day as I improve aspects about it.

*So the lover I had has backed out, she is in a long distance relationship and want to see "what happens there". I said I respect that and have no problem just "being friends" until she sorts out things with her man.

*That means I, by some girls standards, can be seen as a lover candidate. Nice to know.

*I am approaching and doing so with girls that look back at me/send approach invitations.

*I also meditate a lot more. Do visualization again and is priming myself into being a more "sexual man".

*Thanks to that I am also getting a lot more signals by girls. Now the challenge is finding out who's really into me and who are just flirting.

*And I will get back at mass approaching again this weekend. Just like I did a couple of weeks ago (I got a lot from those two days).

Apart from understanding intricacies from game - like girls objections, being more ballsy and exuding even more sexual vibes - I need to work on my texting game. I am still doing this methodically in a small improvement day by day approach, and believe I will be as good as I envisioned earlier this year: Two cute girls into my life every month and a constant stream of new lovers now and then.

And perhaps the most important of it all: I am not obsessing over Miss J. That's really good and I am extremely glad I managed to forget her faster than I thought. She is still on my mind, but not as much anymore and I don't feel that helpless. Thank God!

 

[kristian]

So I invited two co-workers out last Friday. Both are more introverted than I am but I wanted to know more people from work. And settle myself that way both socially and professionally.

Natasha

We go out to the same place I did last time (two weeks ago). And guess what: Natasha (girl with porn-star body was also there!).
I was taken really aback by this since we already agreed by text that she will come to my place this Sunday (tonight).

I thought, what the heck, there's a reason for that so I figured out it was best to just be there a little. Remember I said I was getting good at exuding sexual energy? This time it did not work as much. So I just spent a couple of minutes deep diving. I talked to some of the other girls I knew at that place (from social circle) and told her I would be back.

That was a good decision as I went to one of the closest dance clubs to try to game a little. One of my co-workers (Klas) was also down to "trying out new things" and we went almost berserk at that place (in order to get some data).

*There was a girl who clearly was sending some IOIs. I approached her, even when she was with her boyfriend (I found about that too late, because I did not believe they were together - and who takes their girl to a night club anyway?) But even as he was pissed with me for talking to his girl she gave me her number when he went to the bathroom.

*There were also many girls out there just to dance. The thing with night game is that girls with girlfriends are more aware of the reputation so no moving forward with many.

*And then you have those who are just there for the validation. Wow! There are lots of them.

So I don't know who are looking for love and who are just looking for validation. More data points needed. However, I am considering (when I get more money to invest in some coaching. In both day game and night game).

So I go back to the nightclub where Natasha was and see her surrounded by three guys. I ignore her a little, talk to some of the girls from social circle before resuming our conversation back to her. But this time it was ON! She started touching my ass, my back and so on. I touch her back a little, say some things and walk away to approach a little more (nothing serious here since I still can't see the difference between those who are looking around and those who's just having fun).

And as I come back I sit beside her. She immediately starts touching my chest. Looks at me in the eyes and gives me the most passionate kiss I've experienced in my life so far. I see this as an invitation to move things forward.

Me: Let's go from here.
Her: I am sorry, I can't just leave my friends. Besides my mom is expecting me to come back home this night.

Clearly an objection I couldn't handle. And then I don't say anything. I feel like silence is gold when you don't have any comebacks and when a comeback could potentially be seen as chasing.

Her: Do you like white or red wine?
Me: I prefer red wine.
Her: Then I'll bring it this Sunday.
Her: Let me show you something.

Then she leans slowly to my face. Hold her lips into mine and starts breathing intensely as she touches my chest with her right hand. Makes sounds and let go.

Her: This is so nice to do (smiles bright).

Her male friends cannot believe their eyes. And she starts doing some yoga exercises to impress me. I smile at that.

Her: I will dance some now. But I really want to hang out with you Sunday evening.

I let her go and kiss her goodbye.

Wow!!

------------------

My encounter with miss J
So yesterday I wanted to play at the park. One of the guys from our social circle invites me to work out and do some exercises. I meet him at a park on the west-side of the city and then he says.

Him: Let's go to XYZ-park and meet miss J and Linda.

I freeze at that moment. Of course he would propose such a thing when he is in the same social circle (which is some of the negative sides of dating such girls). But I thought "okay, ill just roll with whatever".

I meet her over there and we hug for a long time. And then I start doing my thing (talking to girls, having fun, singing and such). I could see that she was walking away, only to come back every time. (I did not once chase her, she started all conversations and interactions).

Miss J: I've seen that you are involved in a lot of things (referring to my Facebook account, she's even been reacting with "<3" at my posts while I've been ignoring it and never liking some of hers).
Me: Yes, it's been really busy lately.
Miss J: I feel like we need to talk out about things. You know, clear the air.
Me: I see what you're saying. But let's be in the moment today. I just came here to have fun and will be leaving soon. But you know where you find me when you are ready.

And then she sits really close to me (I guess my carefree nature, combined with pre-selection and just being relaxed made her attracted).
I lightly touch her hands, she backs a little. Then I touch her neck and It's obvious it impacts her. I let go, stand up and hug her goodbye.

Miss J: You know. I've been going through some rough times lately. I can't sleep and things from work are bothering me.

Note: I sense she still can't let go of what happened in India (and the guy she "cheated" on me with). I also believe her quitting with anti-depressants has made her more vulnerable to life's ups and downs. It was clear to see that I am at a much better place than her.

As I put my jacket on, she checks me out. A lot. I walk away knowing that this encounter impacted her and will do so for some nights from now on.


--------------------------------------

And now back to the future.
The fun thing about approaching, flirting and meeting girls is that I am getting into a good momentum in my dating life. Natasha will most likely come over tonight and I am also setting up meeting with women that previously have been aloof towards me.

Many more are also chasing.

And since I am meeting different women other girls starts sensing this. I get a lot more approach invitations (which I will capitalize more on) so things are moving ahead.

Things to improve:

*Better radar on girls who are genuinely interested.
*More sexual energy. More touching. More escalations in combination with deep diving.
*More girls into my life.
*An even better handle on chase dynamics.
*Touching.

Things that I am doing better:
*Sexual state.
*Moving forward and being more mindful of sprezzatura.
*Not chasing.
*Really letting go of Miss J.
*Being more open for new girls.

 

[kristian]

It feels like its gone two weeks, but its only been a couple of days. I have an enormous sexual energy that is making me approach girls I find attractive and when I am rested and happy, it's almost impossible not to create a great vibe with the girls I cold approach at daytime. A lot of it has to do with increased energy levels that sexual energy gives me.

Nathasha
Remember Natasha, the girl with pornstar body I met last weekend? She came to my place this Sunday and we had sex twice that night. She also came over last night and this time she slept over. You see, Natasha recently left a relationship that lasted 2 years. I also told her I am taking things very slowly in my dating life and did not deny that I sleep with other girls.

She sends me cute messages and says she likes my vibe. I find this very exciting since she is hot, popular and always draws a lot of attention when she is out. And sex is amazing! She is also, like many girls, surprised at my appetite for sex (usually multiple rounds only with some minutes rest in between).

The thing about Natasha that I see with some girls is that even if they love sex, they have some preferences that I am not used to. (Some just like sex within a couple of hours after meeting, some have to feel "clean" to have it. This is a thing I did not notice as much since I usually am always ready). I also think I have an enormous appetite for sex that is even bigger now. And besides Ester (the girl with kids I dated) I cannot remember another girl with as much appetite like me (and I've been with over 20 girls so far). So when they say "not yet" I always become a little surprised. (Like when we were sleeping and I tried to sex again, she tells me she is too exhausted).

So I can see that there are times where sex is much more desired than others.

Approaches
So I have a couple approaches every time I go out. And yesterday's two-day game-approaches where very tight. It seems I know how to deliver genuine compliments, how to show my interest both with verbals and non-verbals. One said she wasn't looking for anything (it might be that she could see how sexual I was) and the other had a husband. No worries, there's still plenty of women to practice on in the future.

The thing I am trying to balance is deep dive in conjunction with sexual vibe. I mean, I need that vibe to not be friend zoned, something I discovered earlier in march when I met the Christian girl. But when my vibe is strong girls need to make a desition then and there. Might it be good? Still don't know.

Social circle


I do not think this is something for me anyways. I had two "dates" this week and both girls were just in it for my friendship. Nice to always move forward to and disclose those girls.

There's a girl at work, 42 yo hottie, let's call her Miss. Boss (since she has the same name as Miss J), that has almost all her male co-workers interested. The cool thing is; she flirts a lot with me (under the radar, of course). Don't know what to do with this since work flirting is something I have very little experience with.

Note: Need to read about this.

Ayla
I did not write a report about this girl.This is the previous lover that backed off (since she wanted to see where it went with her boyfriend candidate that lives abroad).

In a moment of hornyness I sent her a message saying I would love to give her a "last night". She says she agrees and that she will get back to me after easter. I feel like I gave her less than my best last time. I want to make it up.

Additional thoughts
I am always forgetting that my main goal is meeting and attracting new girls. The challenge is not to be attached to any particular woman. The thing is that I feel like Natasha is "special" because I perceive her as high standard. I believe meeting new women will lessen that enthusiasm and see her in a more neutral way. And not make the same mistake (like the one with Miss J.) again.

Other than my progress has stagnated lately. Sure, I make many girls smile and get IOIs, but it has stopped there and see that I need to approach more and read a lot more in order to get more reference points.

Things I can do better

*Finding out who's interested.
*Capitalizing on invitations.
*More night game approaches.

Things that are good
*Inner game.
*Sexual vibe.

 

[kristian]

https://www.girlschase.com/comment/565#comment-565

 

[kristian]

Easter week is a quiet week here in Oslo. That means a lot of people are out of the city (and since 30 % are from rural areas and go back home, only a few Oslo-folks that aren't traveling remains in the city).

So besides getting back together with Ayla, and meeting up with Natasha, I haven't had any dates or that many approaches. Thanks to my new sexual energy I made love to Ayla like never before. We had sex 5 times in three hours, and she was pleasantly surprised at my new, insatiable appetite. Natasha will most probably come over this evening so there's nothing wrong with access to sex these days. New women enter my life even before others exits it. Nice to know. And I am very grateful it has been this way since things ended with Miss J.

-----------

So I went out with my two mentors yesterday; Marques and Vince. Both very adept with women. Vince is married now, but has a long history of having several girlfriends and being open about it with them, while Marques is a successful bachelor with a lot of girls on rotation (I've seen him picking up girls and he makes it look effortless). This was a great way of seeing if I could get some new reference points and learn from them both.

*Both have great fundamentals, wit, and conversational skills that outperform 99% of other guys - catching the eyes of most young guys (who wanted to befriend them) and girls (who were intrigued by them.

*While Vince was more "in the moment", entranced in the conversations, Marques was also scanning a little to see if he could make some eye contact with girls. Marques was also positioning himself greatly in order to get noticed. He also opened some women to spark conversations and even made some suggestions of which women I could talk to. (Little bad I was too much in my head to approach then and there).

*The nice thing I am getting a handle on by watching both is the sub-communication going under the radar (which Morten, another talented seducer has talked about). Night game gives girls the ability to approach with non-verbals. And I could also see how they were sending me signals for me to act upon.

*Was too tired to be there the whole night. So I left them without looking at their direct interactions with women. However, this was a concert and both (being rappers and musicians) were there to get to know other musicians.

-------------

But I also approach some in order to get new reference points.

The one with the boyfriend


So we sat beside a couple and their male friend at the bar (where the concert was). I was still too much in my head to talk to anybody, so Marques looked at me smiling and just introduced himself to trio sitting beside us. I instantly start talking to the cute girl over there and she hooks almost immediately, even more so when she finds out that I've seen her performing before (Oslo is a small city, even with 600 000 habitants).

Her boyfriend, a typical guy non-improvement focused guy, became a little wary about this and blocked us a couple of times. But she was enjoying herself in my presence and even approached me a couple of more times. I asked her for her FB-account and told her we should work together soon (but more because she is talented and I love to hang out with female singers). She agrees.

The one that auto-rejected me
While I was talking to the boyfriend-girl, I notice a couple of girls sitting on the opposite table looking at me and see this as an opportunity to approach. I wait a little, go downstairs with Vince and Marques to watch the artists and walk up again. I introduce myself to the closest one of them both. She smiles and gives room to sit beside her. It was on.

But then friends started to interrupt our flow. I kept my cool, of course, and told her if she wanted to get out to smoke and get some fresh her. She agrees and tells me will go to the bathroom so I wait for her. And then we go out and because I was a little tired and in my head, I managed to misremember some important facts about her, like were she is from. She went cold and started talking to other people.

I just left her then there, figuring out I still need to work on my night game approaches and the begging stages of the interactions.

Other approaches
Of course, all bars and nightclubs have that "hot" girls who's there for validation. I nevertheless tried to start a conversation with her, only to get a slight smile and her back.

I also approached a couple of girls that where just leaving, although one wanted to stay and talk to me (I guess her friends social pressure made her decide not to continue our conversation).

I did have some eye contact with the female leader of the club. Several times (and this is something I am getting more frequently now that I have better presence, female leaders flirting with me). Other than that, I was glad I am starting to see the sub-communications at night clubs.

----------------------------

Day game

So now I am back at day game approaches. I've been a little out of it lately because I was being a little buzzy relaxing, going inwards and having sex with my new lovers.

The nordic beauty
But today I was sitting at my local cafeteria and notice my dream girl: Blonde, blue eyes, a bohemian inspired style, she was reading some news papers, but also seeking out contact with people. I noticed that she must be around 35 - 36 (I do not care about age with lovers) and her beautiful tanned face and arms and some freckles on her face (nordic beauty, those are hot as f). She was also slim and around my height. I couldn't resist myself and just had to talk to her.

Me: (after positioning myself close to her) Did you find any exciting news today?
Her: (Smiles brightly as I move closer).
Me: I just saw how entranced you were looking at those papers. I find you interesting so just had to come over and see for myself.

It turns out she hooks immediately, telling me a lot about herself. I don't even need to ask before she suggests we could sit on the couch I was sitting on and then I said, "ok let me move my things so you can sit close to me".

Note: The thing about day game in public places is that I can't just escalate as fast. I managed to touch her on high points nevertheless and she loved it.

She tells me her story and what she does for a living and was intrigued by mine (that is very different from hers). We also find many commonalities and between the lines, I also make sure I communicate I want her. As she spoke I saw myself undressing her, making love to her, giving her orgasms - and she could tell. I also made some witty remarks in between sexual tension and deep dives. My intention was to talk for 10 minutes max, we ended having a 30-minute conversation.

Me: I find you fascinating. You have a lot of substance and the package looks good. Why don't we connect some day. Do you drink?
Her: Yes I do. (Smiles). We should hang out soon.

And then she gives me her number, making sure it was the right one. It also turns out it is her birthday, and her friends might arrive soon. I tell her I had to go and that we would text to schedule something. She smiles brightly. It felt like destiny.

Let's see what happens.

The redhead on the streets
This was more of a normal street cold approach. But as I said hi, she instantly stops and starts talking back. I tell her I find her cute and that I had to introduce myself.

She tells me she has been working out and that she heading back home. I also deep dive a little, making sure with my nonverbals that I want to make love to her.

And then she says her buss is coming. I ask her for her number, something she gladly gives away (mind you this was just a 3-minute approach).

Additional thoughts:

When I just put my mind to it I can relatively easy have deep connection with women I cold approach. Instead of having a couple of "larger than life"-interactions in a year, I can manage to have at least one every week. That's a big improvement and I think it has a lot to do with my sub-communication.

And it all comes from being more sexual.

I also had a conversation with Marques about women. And he warned me about becoming a "slave to the pussy". What he means is not letting a particular girl having power over you by using sex. He also talks about the girls he has as female friends and doesn't seem to care what kind of role a girl plays in his life (lover, fling or friend). We had also some conversations about his past relationships and that was also very educational.

Things I can improve

*Still finding the ones that are genuinely interested.
*Approaching more.
*Playing around with chase frame and investment.

Aspect that are good
*Sexual energy.
*Making sure I am clear on intentions.

 

[kristian]

Women appearing here there and everywhere, flirtatious interactions and daily approaches; Things are getting pretty good in my everyday interactions with women lately.
I like that I get noticed and I am happy to find myself talking to girls more often than not. My approaches also seem more natural and I can with a little more ease transition from opening to the middle part.

I am also getting an understanding of which girls are more receptive - at least a better understanding of who are not that into me.
But I am also realizing that I am sending some girls to auto-rejection, it's still quite new for me since I get stronger IOIs just now. More data on this is needed.

Another thing that I am realizing is that game is about becoming attractive to girls (fundamentals) and capitalizing that attraction by moving forward. I feel like a have an okay handle on the first one, but I am still a little clumsy at the latter thing. I still lose girls that are attracted to me and still make mistakes (by being too much in my head) with girls on dates. Mistakes that seem fatal.

In other words: The girls that throw themselves at me (and it's happening a little more frequently now) are those I can reliably get. Girls that could be interested are difficult to land. There is still a lot of room for improvement.

My date with the nordic beauty

Remember the girl I met at the cafe that was on her birthday? It turns out we met after that I wrote my last report. We texted a little back and forth and then she invites me to the cinema. I figure out it was best to comply and reward her for making moving our interaction forward.
As we meet by the botanic garden at one of the greenhouses I see that her interest is still high. She looks at me with a little lust, triangulates and complies easily when I ask her to come with me to my place so I can put my stuff there (computer and so on).

After a little stop by, which I believed could make her comfortable with my place (so I can invite her home later on), we go to the cinema. On our way there I kiss her gently on her lips. She kisses back, but I could also see that she was a little on the defensive with my kiss. She tells me "kisses are very intimate for her," I say "that's okay" and hold her hand as we go to the cinema.

She buys me a ticket and makes sure we sit beside each other. The movie was too dramatic for my taste and reminded me a lot of my childhood. I've never cried watching a movie before, but I couldn't hold back so I needed to dry my face a couple of times. We both played with each other's hands. I touched her thighs, arms, and legs. She reciprocated. It was ON.

As we leave, she agrees to get to the local bar and have some drinks. However, we were hungry so we decided to eat a meal before heading to the bar. She wanted to buy me dinner a thing I did not feel comfortable with. I buy this time.

But there was also something different in the air as we ate. She was still complying but now it felt like she was holding a lot more back. I couldn't figure out why but tried to move her to the bar nevertheless. (Now realize it was something called emotional crest, I built it up so much it crashed: https://www.girlschase.com/content/emotional-cresting-what-it-and-how-use-it)

She tells me she was "feeling tired" and wanted to go home. I tried to convince her otherwise (without chasing) several times, but she was not "in the mood".
I follow her home since she lives a couple of blocks away from me and kiss her goodbye.

I send her a message telling her it was a magical meeting and that I wanted to see her again. She agrees the date was magical and replies: "Youll hear from me".

I think I lost her. Lesson learned.

The readhead

I also lost her at the "last moment". This time before asking her out. I called her for 6 minutes because we did not talk more than 3 minutes before getting each other's numbers.

I sent her a message yesterday trying to get her on a date; she did not respond.

I should have just invited her out the next day anyways. Instead of waiting.

Additional thoughts

But at the same time, I see that I am capable of having quality interactions more often than before. I am also getting a lot better at taking chances when they arrive.

And I have a lover (Natasha) and am still hooking up with Ayla. Both girls I met on the street and in the club. So I am liberating myself from social circle game (haven't done any Tinder or dating app for more than 6 months anyway).

Things to improve


*Watch out for emotional crest.
*Flirting.
*Transitions.

Aspects that are improving
*Touch.
*Becoming sexual around girls.
*Eye flirting.

 

[kristian]

So one day they're here the next they're gone. It's interesting to see how fast situations change when it comes to girls.

*Ayla has backed out again. Now, because she is a little confused just before she is going to meet her man. And that's okay. I kind of saw it coming, she is after all "taken".
*I haven't met Natasha in a week now, mainly because she got sick yesterday (the day she was intending to come over). That's also okay because she sends me cute messages (I am also starting to see everything in a more positive light, as opposed to before). And says she misses me. But who knows, she could meet other guys in the meantime.

I am all in all okay with losing them all. I know - and this is something I vowed myself on - that meeting new girls and working on my skills with women are my top priorities. If a particular woman or two or whatever stays, that's fine. But I won't make my dreams stop until I reach abundance or absolute abundance.

I realized that there's no fear of being alone. I do not fear celibacy for a moment in order to trade up in quality and quantity with women.

---------------

Ah. As I was making food today I started thinking about the girls I've been flirting with and dating lately: Miss J, Natasha, Miss Boss, The Cool DJ-girl (I haven't written about this one). My point is, I am attracting some very popular girls lately. In some ways they seem a little easier to flirt with - at least they are more open to my advances. The reason being? I do not really know. It could be my improved fundamentals and my stronger presence. Sometimes it is almost expected that the most dominant female in the group would either like me, flirt with me or hang out with me. The others do not seem that interested (or may act aloof).

The most beautiful girls are also the one that respond best to my advances. Interesting.

Girls that seemed cute before are now "meh". Interesting.

-----------

So I made a couple of approaches today, realizing I needed to improve my openers (starting from scratch ). It seems like my sexuality polarizes a little more. Some girls seem a lot less interested. And some are very much so. I had four approaches, one was good but had a boyfriend. (This was one that smiled at me).

The other three weren't into me at all, although one seemed into me, only to back off after my introduction. No worries, I tend to forget all my rejections (even dates that didn't go anywhere, haha).

So that's that. I want a new girl. There are so many that being with only one make me miss out on all the other cute girls out there. I really like Natasha, don't get me wrong. But who else is out there?

I want a cute 22 yo blonde with a nice ass and a nice style. That's my intention for the next month.

- Kristian

 

[kristian]

I just woke up feeling angry at Miss J for just leaving me after all we did together. I also realized how much she talked (all the promises etc) and spent the first part of the day feeling used by her. "How couldn't I see the signs?" I asked myself. She clearly left another guy for me and kept it secret, of course she would do the same with me, especially when she traveled to India.

So I was putting the pieces together and going through the feelings of being replaced. I spent the entire day by myself and other than working I was just looking inwards in order to be at peace with everything related to Miss J. I can't say I am 100 % there yet but going through all those emotions made things a lot more clear.

-------

After that, I spent the rest of the day reading about seduction. I understand that in order to become perceived as a lover by more women, I need to dial up my playfulness and sexual vibe. More of that truthfulness around women must come out. I know that the genuine, sexually confident guy is somewhere there and feel like I am 50% on my way. It's just frustrating to have a goal in mind and then realize you're still far away from where you want to be. And then I remind myself about how far I compared to many guys when it comes to women. None of my friends do this as I do. And none of my friends work as hard to understand women. They are emotional creatures and we need to cater to their emotions.

At the same time, I become less emotionally needy around girls. Sure, she is cool and beautiful but they're many more women out there that are just as awesome. I just need to find those and refine my approach for each time I go out.

------

The blonde with nice tights

I was not in the mood for going out today but on my way to the music store (to buy an electrical piano), I spot my dream girl. She was wearing colorful tights that accentuated her legs. She had those curves I like and was blonde. I saw this as an opportunity to talk to her. She was around 40 meters ahead of me, so I ran after her. Touched her on her shoulder and as she looked at me gave her my opener.

Me: Are you single?
Her: (laughs) No, I am not (smiles and continues walking)

Note: This is the first time in a long time I've used this opener in a very long time. I realized it cut through a lot of BS and makes me look more confident because I dont seem to care.

Me: I just saw you from behind and had to see if you looked as nice from the front.
Her: (Smile) I am glad you think so.
Me: So where are you heading to?
Her: I am on my way to the grocery store and will buy some food

We talk a little about her workouts, that I am a musician (which always gives me a little more edge) and so on. I tell her I was glad to meet her and that I hopefully will see her again. This time without a boyfriend.

The Filipina
This was short, as I had to get off from the Metro at the next station. I just asked her if she was latina and we talked a little bit. I was dragging along my new electrical piano so our conversation was a lot about that.

Nothing worth noting since it was just a short talk. But my momentum was becoming better even feeling tired as F.

The Danish dancer
So a couple of blocks from home I suddently spot a girl looking at me. She smiles back and I just had to approach.

Me: Hi. I just saw you right now and loved your smile. I just had to come over and introduce myself, Kristian is my name.
Her: (smiles again). Sofie here. Thank you.
Me: Let me guess, you are a dancer.
Her: Yes I am I just came from a rehearsal at school (balletschool is pretty close to my place).
Me: Thats nice. I can also hear youre not from here
Her: I am from Denmark, actually?
Me: Copenhagen?
Her: No.
Me: There are a couple of places over there. Nordkjælland and Jylland.
Her: And another island as well (smiles)
Me: Oh nice

We flirt a lot back and forth, and she was alternating between almost leaving and getting closer to me. I ask her where she lives and tell her I live nearby. I also ask her if she is single and she says "not really" so I tease her for giving me an unclear answer. (I just realize I can just see that as an invitation to seduce anyways). I touch her a little before I leave her.

......

So all in all good approaches, but nothing worth noting. Mind you that there were street and metro approaches (the hardest to move forward with).

Things to improve

*Moving forward.
*Escalating physically
*Needed more sexuality.

Things I did great
*Playfulness.
*Approaching without hesitation.
*Touch

 

[kristian]

Wow!

I did not intend to go out and approach at all, but I believe I had everything but a lay tonight. In total between 30 and 40 girls, and all kinds of rejections, kisses, threesome kisses, numbers, and IOIs. I even lost a girl that was primed for me (because I couldn't handle her shit test and bailed instead of just going through it all).

I don't want to go into any specifics because I think I know what most of game has to do with (as Ricardus wrote on the x-factor) the right mindset.

*It's all about combining playfulness and sexual intent.
*What you say is not of importance, as long as it comes from the right mindset.
*The best thing to do is being in the moment and curious.

I lost my sexual vibe a little lately and it is mainly because I masturbated a couple of days ago. So fuck that, I will not do it in a while for now.

*Meditation. Visualization and storm clearing is needed to exude the X-factor.

I also understood that I have all the tools to meet, flirt and seduce girls. It's more in my head. I need to get out of it and more "in the moment".

If I crack that code, I think I will be ahead of most guys. So now it's all about having the right mindset.

To be continued...

 

[kristian]

So what have I gained from last weekend's perspective?

*First of all, I've been a lot more genuine in my approaches; delivering the "are you single?"-line more often than not. I've figured out it's better not to waste time on cold-approach interactions. And as long as my fundamentals are on point, I can still get good first reactions and taking it from there.

*I've also said things as they are, maybe not the brightest idea always, but now I just have to be comfortable saying things as they are and stating my intentions.

*Deep diving in tension, especially sexual tension, and owning it as been my mantra in almost all my encounters with women. They realize pretty quickly by my verbals and non-verbals what I really want. Some even get a little uncomfortable with it. And I smile at that.

*Girls also test me a little more than usual. They try to poke and give me some heat at moments. I usually just keep my calm when that happens, which is my best bet as I improve my skills with women.

*The cool thing I often hear is how grounded I seem. That's a nice bonus from pick up: The ability to stand my ground even when I am in pressure.

---------------------

So that's that. And I get even more IOIs than I thought a month a go. My sexual vibe has gone down a little and it has mostly to do with the girls I talk to. I am very turned on at women I find attractive, or the kind of ones I tend to visualize about when I close my eyes. But I've come to realize that I need to expand my sexuality on even more types of girls.

--------------------
Tuesday and another encounter with Miss J.
Last Tuesday I decided to fo out again. On my own. I had a nice conversation with a very attractive 31-yo at the bar where I sing. She wasn't attracted but I stated my intentions nevertheless. Nothing to lose either way, since its all about being as honest as possible and taking it from there. I later went to a dancing place, in order to see if I could approach girls in a more crowded place.

And as I was waiting in line at one of the dancing bars I see Miss Js best girlfriend outside of the place. She sees me and of course tells me she is with her (small, little town we all live in). I realize I can't back up so I start a conversation with two girls waiting in line beside me. They hook and I start flirting. Then I notice she comes over as I am still in the conversation with them. The girls realize this so I turn my head. Miss J looks at me and give me a kiss on the cheek before disappearing with her friend.

I was glad I was pre-selected by that time.

A week ago she send me a message that she was not ready to meet me. She says she is still a little confused and cant keep herself away from me when we are at the same place. I answered with: "That's okay Miss J. I think I got the answers needed and don't see the point on meeting. I wish you the best moving forward". My answer put her off, because some days later, she reacts (with a <3) at a video with me and a friend of mine on Facebook. My female mentor says she probably got very put off by my what-ever answer and that she thought I would chase. That made her curious. She probably felt rejected.

---------------
My first solid nightgame approach
All this has made me realize that a lot of game has to do with approaching the ones that are looking for something. So as I go inside the bar I start talking to a slim asian girl. It was nice, since she was willing to follow my lead and keen to meet up and escalate physically. I tried to get her home, she said she couldnt because of work and because her male friend was there (her reputation in other words).

I texted her yesterday to follow up, but I realize I am just a "club" guy. No worries, this was either way my first solid interaction with a girl on a club.

And the thing about this one is that I was too much in my head (after meeting Miss J again) but somehow managed to have some cool interactions.

But those are just reactions I still need results...


Have to go now. I can write the rest later!

 

[kristian]

I've been mostly doing strong interactions. I am working on simple things such as openers, deep dives, investment, light banter, sexual tension...

I am working hard and know that it's just a matter of time before new women enter my life. I still have my dream girls in mind and do some meditations on that.

Miss J and childhood traumas
As long as I can't let go of Miss J the road there is difficult. My encounters with women don't seem "clean" because I am still playing the comparison game. And of course they all come up short when we had that connection. I forget that it takes time and devotion to get that connection. Natasha, for example, is prettier and funnier than Miss J but she doesn't compare in the connection department and that makes our relationship "shallow". No wonder she isn't all that keen on meeting.

I also realized I was never in love with Miss J. I was in love with her potential - and she was in love with the feelings I gave her (feelings that could easily be replaced by someone else). Miss J triggered a lot of childhood traumas with my mother (some deep shit I can explain on later). I realized much of love are just traumas that need healing. People find archetypes that remind us of our primary caregivers (in our case, her carefree nature vs her depression which reminds me a lot of my mom, among many other things) fall in love with them in order to fix past traumas, traumas that make us subconsciously fall in love with people that remind us of our caregivers. I came to realize that a step forward could be working on my relationship with my mom.

Another aspect I am healing is my sexual view towards women. You see: I was abused sexually by some teenage girls when I was 7 years old. And that made me resentful and untrustful of women. I am a lot more open minded and less bitter and I didn't realize that I had such bitterness towards women until I started dealing with my mom and my past.

Those two blinders are coming off and it seems that it make my interactions a lot more genuine and loving. I wouldn't have dealt with them without going out and meeting women, so I am extremely grateful for this journey. It uncovers a lot of shit and belief systems that prevent me from being me, as Bboy100 over here said, pick up is a subtractive process. And I am becoming less bitter, less traumatized and more loving.

viewtopic.php?f=3&t=15820

--------
But I am still approaching, I am still working on fundamentals, I am still making mistakes, going out and setting up dates. Everything about it still feels like work to be honest. On the other hand, I am also getting a lot more approach invitations and there are very few harsh blowouts. But there are some pieces missing without even knowing what those are. So I contacted one of the most known seduction coach in Norway. I told him where I am and a little about where I want to go from here.

He said he could help so I am glad that we will meet up next week. That's awesome.

Things to improve
*Resting more in between all a-ha moments.
*Understandig womens signals better.
*Nightgame (its still a big mistery).
*Letting go of Miss J. Why can't I just move on?

Aspects I am improving on
*Dealing with own bullshit and hurtful inner beliefs.
*Understanding the game from a deeper perspective.
*Approaching every day without even thinking.
*Increased lust for girls.

 

[kristian]

Just realized that going out twice a week in combination with daily day game approaches is the best routine for me. All those interactions can become very tiring so rest between it all is very needed. I am really pushing myself out there lately - learning at a fast pace. Sometimes too fast since exhaustion and little energy to devote on other aspects (like work and music) is getting more prevalent.

*So I need good sleeping routines.
*Put in at least two workouts a week (compound movements with heavy lifts).
*Eat more vegetables, make more food at home instead of sugar and takeaways.

--------

My night game adventure


Besides Klas, I am also going out with my friend Kristoffer, lately. None of them are working as methodically as I am, of course - but they are not afraid of talking to women (although Klas needs to be a little drunk).

So we went Kulturhuset and their new space where they moved to. Four floors of clubbing, with different kind of music and girls all over the place. I think approached around 15 - 20 women that night. Many weren't with any invitations so I got blown out a couple of times (and bouncing back from some, may I say, harsher rejections builds character while out). I will only write down two specifically since the others did not lead anywhere.

The one with tight dress
We walk in. I make a couple of approaches before going to the 4th floor (where cool DJ-girl is playing). As I walk inside I spot a cute 38 yo wearing a tight, colorful dress, accentuating her curvy and firm figure. I walk instantly to her.

Me: You look like you dance salsa. (Smiling).
Her: Yes, I do actually.
Me: I could see it, haha. So why aren't you dancing?
Her: I don't know. People are a little boring here, I guess (smiling). And I am waiting for my friends to arrive.

I did the Natasha-move on her and start leading her to the dancefloor (but not carrying her, that is). We start dancing and as I moved closer to her body I, of course, became a little horny (which she could sense). I escalate touch a little, but not as much since I know I have gone too far sometimes. I lead her back to our place, while Kristoffer was exploring the rest of Kulturhuset, in order to deep dive and flirt a little.

We start talking a bit about her work. Some logistics and so on. And then I do my first major mistake.

Me: So why did you choose to work with child welfare, Marianne.
Her: My name is Mari. (she goes cold).
Me: I mean Mari. Why did you choose your profession?
Her: I don't want to about it.
Me: haha, I have Aspergers didn't you know that?
Her: No you don't! I know you don't.

Clearly auto-rejection since I forgot ger name (interestingly enough, cute girls are more unforgiving of these mistakes than beautiful girls, but that's another post). Before my blunder, we were flirting a lot non-verbally, but now she doesn't want to contribute anymore (wow!). I try to put some pressure on her by throwing a bored look (she re-engage unwillingly). And I try to move her, only to see her flirt with Kristoffer as he is back. This interaction is ruined, I thought to myself. So we decide to get out of there and somewhere else.

......

I have to go now will write the rest tomorrow. (As I also understood a lot from day game today). New realizations are being made.

 

[kristian]

And then we walk back to the 2nd floor where they were playing disco and soul music. I dance a little - and start dancing with girls is easy to do - I even talk to some only to know they just want to keep to themselves (and hanging out with their girlfriends).

The tall stunner

So as I sit minding my own business I spot a real stunner looking at me, and smiling to her friend. (Again the hotter girls seem to dig me more). I walk to her and sit by her table.

Me: Are you single?
Her: (Starts laughing and look at me with big, positive eyes). No, I am not. Are you single?
Me: I wouldn't ask I wasn't. Would I? (flirty tone).

And then she asks me what my name is and so on. I cold read her and it works well, while she spends time telling me a little about her boyfriend (who turns out to be at the same place). I see this as an opportunity to move her. She gladly does so.

Me: You look really great, Ida.
Her: (smiles and let me touch her as we dance closer).

She was a little reserved as well and rightfully so because as I keep a little distance her boyfriend arrives (and he turns out to be a bodybuilder, haha). I barely notice him and continue dancing as if nothing happened.

I spend the rest of the night approaching some. Watching sloppy approaches and dancing. I grinded a little on the floor with a decent looking girl (she was with her friends of course so no pull/isolation).

......

Daygame approaches and realizations

I also had a giant realization the day after (yesterday). When it comes to pick up, it's all about state projection and emotions we as men transfer to girls that are willing to get those. The better fundamentals, the more girls interested in our emotional transfer.

Game is the process I use to get the results needed. Often a warm up-approach is needed to get me into pick up mode. From there it's a lot about stating intentions by being genuine about them and looking intensely in her eyes. Then chase frames and so on works a lot better. If she is not into me, then they won't work.

Thing I can improve
*Looking for girls that are into me.
*Avoiding auto-rejection.
*Staying on sets longer.
*Deep dive in the midst of it all.

Things I am doing better
*Watching out for signs of attraction.
*Sexual intent and emotional transfer.

The thing I am seeing here is that when I just deep dive, I tend to be friend zoned, but when I am sexual I forget to deep dive creating a little resistance later on (since she thinks I am about sex). Working on combining both aspects is the hardest part for me now. And that needs a lot more practice.

 

[kristian]

So it has been a long week with many approaches, fuck ups, dates, instant date/pull, escalations, and failures/some mild successes. It has been really educational, to be honest and I haven't taken the time to write about all this lately. So without further ado, let me tell you about my latest escapades.

*I've been approaching without fear. Very direct in my ways and very often with the "Are you single?"-opener.

*I've been flirting a lot with many girls. I usually get nice receptions, flirtatious interactions and I am always looking for ways to move forward.

*That has made me better at seeing which girls are more open to me and which aren't. It usually has to do with how receptive to my sexual vibe they are. The ones that act the same way usually get happy when I move things forward. The ones who won't or can't mirror my vibe don't see me as their type or aren't looking for anything. It's usually easy to figure out and often within seconds. How do I know? I've tried to escalate with almost all of them, only to get enough data points to confirm this (as Chase and other here has written before).

*I've also developed a better understanding of which girls are receptive or sending me approach invitations. It has to do with how they look at me. How do I know? I've tried to escalate or approach some of them with my sexual vibe to confirm this.

*But that doesn't mean I can get them yet. I am still a little unattainable to many girls. Others are in relationships (that might not make them happy, though) and others are flirters, although I am becoming increasingly better at figuring them out.

*And I still misjudge from time to time.

But wow. At least I see patterns now. Much better. And that makes the game a lot more fun. I am not that clueless and I see that there are some aspects to improve still.

The perks and the curse of increased sexual vibe

So I've taken this aspect of the game very seriously. I've started by eating a lot less sugar/processed foods, eating more fats (avocado, nuts, lean meat, vegetables). Having better sleeping routines. Cold showers and so on. All these things to improve my testosterone levels.

I also started a meditation/visualization regimen and stopped having ejaculations. I am a firm believer that sexual energy can be transmuted from within, so just before ejaculating I stop masturbating and instead devote that energy to visualize what I want to manifest = a harem of women into my life.

So because of that, I've started to see women more as sexual creatures. By a lot. I get really hard really fast when I see women I like, and they can tell.

But I am also a lot more impatient, to the point that I just want to escalate to sex. I've had some unusual experiences, which I will talk more about later. So there's a learning curve here. I see that balancing this is needed and I see that I can turn this on and off at will.

A little about my fuck ups

I will also write about my latest fuck ups in more detail tomorrow (it's getting a little late and I need to sleep). I can, however, share some of the a-ha moments from those interactions.

*Spend more time getting to know her. Elicit more values (need to read this) so she feels like you have a connection that's more than physical.

*Where you take a woman on a date is vital. I made the mistake of taking her to a local pub (with many drunks and old folks) that made my latest date very uncomfortable. If I can't afford a beer at a fancy place, then it's better to invite her home.

*It ended my last date a little badly because once she started resisting my advances to take her home (because she also thought we were strictly talking about business - another reason I need to be a little more clear on my intentions. Even when she likes me) it became an uphill battle. I think I lost her.

*A failed escalation is more forgivable with girls I've talked to for a prolonged time (flirting by messenger) or social circle. You can more easily resume the next time. With cold approaches, there's almost never a next time.

*Sometimes (like the latina I will tell you more about) it's better to take the date on her terms. This girl had a kid and she couldn't make her plans fit mine so she wanted to meet me at daytime instead. I was too stubborn and not flexible making her feel uncomfortable. Lesson learned I guess.

*Since a lot of game has to do with emotions and going through tests I can sometimes get upset when girls reject me or push me back. I usually don't know how to act. Some girls just put some resistance just because and those are fine (if my confidence is on top), others really put me off, when it is a clear objection and not token resistance. I don't know how to handle those or become flexible (since there are women out there that don't seem to want sex on first dates).

And in all. More deep dive and flexibility needed.

And another thing... Miss J wants to re-enter my life. But what does she want? Keep me as a friend (which I don't want as much)? Or does she want me as a lover again? She will come straight to my place after next week (she was the one that initiated contact saying she "forgot" some things at my place). So this is an unknown for me. Let's see what happens... I remember Ane was more straight forward with her "getting back together" contacts (another story), Miss J isnt as forward and has never been. I need to see this live in order to know. Girls are different.

Things to improve

*Balancing sexual desire with deep dive and being in the moment.
*Approach more girls that are sending IOIs.
*Managing logistics

Things improving by a lot

*Sexual desire.
*Sexual drive.
*Approaching.
*Screening out which girls are sexually available and which aren't.

Afterthoughts:
Maybe I can start online gaming again? At least I am much better than I used to be...

 

[kristian]

So approaching women regularly is a part of my daily routine now. I get a lot of looks from girls and I even catch a handful of them watching me from afar (only for them to get nervous or embarrassed when caught). I am, all in all, fundamentally sound enough to get good receptions and pleasant conversations/nice flirtations from girls - I realize the need to approach more and capitalize from my improved fundamentals.

My final closure with Miss J.
Miss J contacted me - as I wrote in my last post - it looked quite promising on the outset, she was answering my messages with enthusiasm, only to get cold and stop it altogether (she wanted to come over to get some clothes she forgot three months ago). I do not like her moodiness and game playing. So I gathered her stuff, put it in a box and sent it by mail with a little note: "Miss J. I thought I was over you, but I am not. I want to open my heart again. Thank you for being the first one. - Kristian".

It felt amazing...

And I realized she do not want to get together again (which all in all is a bad idea), she wants me back where I was: Low vibrant, desperate and looking for ways to get back together. And she did this when I was on my way out of her grip - "she does not want you, she only wants to feel validated by you. Once she sees you moving on, her ego wants to keep it a little bit longer", said a couple of my talented and experienced female friends. True that.

Fuck ups


Gabija

The first one is one from my social circle (one I cold approached when I was together with Miss J - but who acted very cold back then). It turned out her best friend knows some of my friends so I met her at a couple of events later on. We've been flirting back and forth through text now and then - and when she told me she was single and came to a concert I was holding I knew the game was on.

Me: Nice to see you Gabija. I did not think you of all were coming (reward her by touching and being extra nice for complying).
Her: Yes, I brought my friend with me. (smiling back).

I escalate very fast here. Holding her in my arms. I release before it gets weird and start talking to other girls that wanted to congratulate me on my performance.

As I go outside, she comes with her friend asking me what I was up to the rest of the evening. I said I did not know and she says she doesn't know either (which is an escalation window). I again get very close to her "claiming her" in front of her male friend (so he understands what's going on) before talking to him and giving him props for having such an amazing friend. He gets it, luckily and moves out of the way.

Her: I am a little cold so I want to get inside somewhere. I don't have money why don't you buy me a beer?
Me: Hehe, I am the one who busted my ass up there. If anything, you should buy me a beer (teasing her a bit)
Her: That's true. It's a shame I am broke.
Me: You know what? I have some wine at my place. I just live around the corner. Lets go together.

After getting my stuff from the concert place I get her out. We hold hands and I try to kiss her.

Her: Why did you do that?
Me: I just felt inspired. Anyways, what did you do today?

Note: Cool to just act as nothing when an escalation fail. I usually get a little upset when it happens, but since I just performed (and flirted with some girls) I didn't care at all. My frame was strong as F.

We get inside I pour up some wine and hit straight to my room. We spend 10 minutes talking about mundane things before I kiss her again. This time we connected.

Her: Why did you kiss me?
Me: I want you, Gabija.

She back off a little and leans back. We talk a little bit more and then BAM, we kiss for real this time. Gabija is only 19 years old, I find out. She tells me about her past relationship. That she ain't looking for anything and so on. I tell her it's okay. I am just a lover and I want to make her feel good. If only for a night. We kiss again. I escalate and try to get off her clothes only to get a lot of resistance every time. I try for two hours only to realize that the only way of sleeping with her could be if she sleeps over, but do not (and don't want to) manage this. I follow her to the bus and realize that could have built some rapport. I see that this was the reason she gave me LMR. I moved fast, but a little too fast for her taste (and that needs some calibration, to be honest).

Five days later we met at a drawing course (which she invited me to) and as I try to kiss again, she backs off and acts extremely cold. I guess this is a classical example of auto-rejection.

Karoline

But that fuck up did not matter as much. I still had one more date to attend to (and another attempt). Karoline wants to make an event and was interested in working with me. I escalated a little physically at our little encounter, of course. Enough to make her "get it". We scheduled a date. A place close to mine which I thought could work.

As we meet she was very keen to see me. She was also complying to my advances and I felt extremely horny as we spoke (which often is an indicator that she also feels the same way).

We get inside the local pub (which turns out to be my first biggest mistake, since all folks there were old drunks and made her uncomfortable). We talk some back and forth, but I also see that she wants to talk business. We do that. And as I was to make her buy the next beer, she tells me she doesn't want to drink more (and she drinks slowly as well). I say okay and tell her we could get to my place and drink some tea. She declines. I persist and work really hard here - making her come to my doorstep only to make her back off after many attempts and excuses to make her come over. She says "next time" and I know this is a polite brushoff. I give her a hug. And let her go.

She reinitiates contact again wanting to work with me. I test her by inviting her straight to my place, she declines again and as I write this post I realize this is a classical example of a girl who only flirts to get what she wants. Busted!

Other fuck ups

And we have the latina last week that wanted to meet me at daytime (because she is a single mom) and I countered it by being too stubborn. Did I forget that girls want to be fucked on daytime too? I guess I did.

Or one of Miss Js friends, who came to my moving in to a new place party, and asked me if she could come back later and sleep over, only for me to counter with "I guess my couch could work". My answer startled her, we were flirting a lot by then. And then I realized this was plausible deniability to make me seduce her. Yikes!

Or what about the petite, blonde 20 yo that I did not manage to build rapport with at my party (caused by logistics) making her auto reject when she saw my value and attractiveness as singer. Fuck!

Final notes:

So it's not that I haven't pushed myself lately. I really do and girls seem to notice me more. But I think I need to work on my attainability to balance my fundamentals a bit more. I worked SO hard on sexual intent and directness lately that I forget rapport and attainability (two aspects that friendzoned me). Now I am too much of a horn dog (at least I am not a friend candidate anymore). So balancing is needed to make this work more.

I also forget to follow up on girls. Some seem eager to meet up, but I sometimes just dont act out of lazyness. Again, attainability issues.

Things to work on

*Letting go of Miss J for the last time.
*Attainability.
*More approaches. More night game.
*Slowing the pace a little. Being a little patient with my prospects and not just going for the fuck.

Things that are improving

*Directness.
*Sexual intent.
*No more friend zoned (that's at least figured out).
*Moving forward.

 

[kristian]

It has been a hard week with dates going nowhere and approaches without any results. I've just accepted it could be this way and since I do not chase girls I don't seduce on our first isolation, I may have lost a couple by not trying to reconnect after a failed escalation.

It's not about any particular girl anymore, but about the skill overall.

After analyzing why I seem to hit this plateau I've come to realize that it has to do a lot with my ego. It has begun to take the best of me.
*I think I am hot.
*Therefore every girl must like me.
*And that makes me a little needy and too much in my head, thinking about tactics.
*So I lose girls or don't seem to enjoy their presence.

I was also reminiscing my time before I got to know GC. Some results were better. I did not get as many IOIs, but I got more lays (thanks to online dating). Now, I only do cold approach, which is the most difficult way of meeting women, and the results seem to be lacking a bit (in the sex department, that is).

So the challenge now is the mental aspect of the game. Not necessarily techniques and tactics. It's all about the energy to make it all work. And right energy can only be acquired if I quiet the ego. Quiet my mind. After all, I am just an ordinary Norwegian guy. Aint I?

 

[kristian]

Back to the fundamentals. Back to the basics and back to the simplest aspects of approaching again. I've also given up on actively pursuing old flames and prospects and instead making efforts to seek out new women into my life. So no sex life for Kristian until he approaches enough women and makes it memorable.

Inner game

So I've been working a lot on undoing bullshit the last days. One way of doing this is by increased awareness - whenever I feel triggered, either by circumstances at work or in my dating life, I just go through the storm. This has made me hyper aware of my inner feelings. Especially when interacting with women.

And I am horny as hell. Which sometimes makes me too pushy too early. On the positive side, I do not get flustered at night venues anymore, rejections don't bother me as much as in day game and the possibility to pull the same night makes it very interesting.

But I am still collecting bits and pieces and still working hard to put them together. I am realizing I need to hire a coach to point out aspects that can be improved, so my next paycheck will be devoted to a couple of sessions. It's summer and women are a lot more sociable than usual. I should take advantage of that.

And I also realized the power and the learning I get from going out sober. The lessons I get are so much denser and my sexual energy a lot more "on".

My night game adventure

I don't want to write all my interactions with that much detail, but I'll write some of the biggest lessons from yesterday's outing. I went with one of my closest pals, Kristoffer and we went out for more than three hours and 3 different places. He was impressed by my approach rate (around 20 girls last night) and the lessons he got from them. I guess I am not as bad at this as I think I am.

The one that tested me hard


So on our way to the first place I notice two girls standing on the street. I realize they both were girls that I went to high school with. So I say.

Me: This is almost like a reunion.
Ida: Why you say that. You always say that.
Me: Its not very common to see three of us standing together.
Ida: I know but say something new next time.

And then I realized that passing test has nothing to do with what you say or saying anything at all. It has to do with your reaction. I got defensive, of course since Ida had a disgusted smirk on her face. And since I was totally sober I got to feel the sting of rejection through my heart. Without any filters. It felt great.

The blonde bombshell

But I can also breathe myself out of many rejections since I am more aware now.

So after a walk and some interactions with people I know who were on their way out, I spot a cute blonde girl standing on a group "dancing". She was clearly bored, so I just went straight to her. Grabbed her hand and started to dance. She smiled, of course. But proceeded to test me.

Her: If you wanna teach me how to dance, you have to do better.
Me smiling). Then you have to make me lead and dominate.

She laughs at my semi-sexual remark and proceeds to test me some more. But unlike the first girl I interacted with, she was playfully doing so. I also introduced myself to her crew and began touching her increasingly. (Because I am so much more turned on now).

My other friend wanted me to join him to another place 15 minutes walk from where we were. I held the blonde girl next to my body, kiss her on the cheek passionately and wave her goodbye.

I open some girls on our way to the next place, of course. Just to get me warm and ready.

At the next place, girls were either dancing with their friends or having walls from hell. I tried to approach a club queen, a black girl that was very rude and a girl that was surrounded by four orbiters coming to her "rescue" every time I tried to start a conversation.

But on our way out. I spot THE girl.

Melissa

She was standing by the taxi station touching her phone. Her ass was from another world. The way she was standing. Her thick hair. I got tunnel vision and went straight to her.

Me: Hi. I just have to say.... That I think you're the most beautiful woman I've seen in a very.... long ... time.

She got very surprised and extremely glad by my compliment. Which turns out to be my most genuine compliment so far. I also realized how this single sentence, if done correctly, sets the tone for the rest of the first interaction.

We talk about her. I do some cold reading, which makes her even more interested, and I start touching a little. She says she is on her way to some friends. I ask her to join us, which she declines. She wont either give me her number, but want to keep in touch with Messenger. I don't know if I managed to make her invest enough yet. But at least I got some awesome reference points...

And then we go to the last place and I do some approaches there as well. Nothing worth noting, but I was glad I am finally finding the fun in small improvements

Things to improve


I dont know now. I think I need an expert to help me.

Things improved
Intention.
Desire.
Being genuine.
Bouncing back from hard rejections and shit tests.
Being out sober.

 

[kristian]

Because I decided to start all over again, doing basic exercises from scratch, I am a lot less concerned with results. I think I made about 6 or 7 approaches with one thing in mind; giving women genuine compliments with the best fundamentals as possible.

And I also remixed my style. More natural and edgy as opposed to my classical, slick style. My hair is natural, like a rock artist, simple but fitting t-shirts and jeans. I am also more relaxed with that style and looking to attract the women from the area I live, which is more urban and a lot more ethnic.

The spiritual one


So on my way to work, I spot this cute girl going to the super marked nearby my job. I wasn't intending to buy food but this girl is cute and I've been flirting with her since she works at the gym next door. I followed her to the fruit station and introduced myself.

Me: Hi.
Her: Hi.
Me: Do you remember me? We've met at your job. I use to train there.
Her: No, actually. (a weird answer, since we locked eyes as she went inside the store and she smiled back, could be she just found me cute),
Me: Well, we've talked a bit before.
Her: There are so many people working out there so I don't remember everyone.
Me: That's okay. I hear you are from Sweden. Where exactly?
Her: I am from Linkøpping. (Clearly not investing at all).
Me: Oh, I don't know where it is. Have you lived here for a long time?
Her: I am sorry. I am buying food and I am at work now. I don't have time to talk to you. (starts ignoring me).

Ouch! I just evaporated as fast as I could, without saying a single word. Weird.

But then I realized she might have rejected me because I did not state my intention as fast as possible. She auto - rejected because the window closed fast. Girls here do that often.

The hot, blonde one

I decided to be as honest as possible as fast as possible with girls from now on. After work, and on my way back home I spot the perfect girl; blonde, with revealing clothes and a nice ass. I walk straight up to her.

Me: I just saw you walking down here. And I just had to come over... And tell you... You are the cutest girl I've seen today.

She smiles and flirts back. But has to go to work. She tells me she works at the same supermarket as the previous girl (the local grocery store near my job). A small, little town we live in.

Rejections

And then we have the 15 year old who gut disgusted at me for talking to her (she looked a lot older). And a couple of girls who did not "get it" or could believe that I wanted them. That's alright. I decided to continue approaching after going home to eat dinner, rest and work some.

The french beauty (instant date)

I decide to walk out and buy some vegetables, looking for some girls to approach. I talked to a 19 yo hottie (who, to my surprice gave me her number. She did not look that invested).

And as I am about to choose some limes a girl walk by. She smiles back I turn around and pre-open her (remember, we are practicing the basics again).

Me: I just saw you back there. And I have to say I really loved your smile.
Her: I am sorry I do not speak Norwegian.
Me: (repeating in English).
Her: Well thank you.
Me: So where are you from? (I was about to say France before she answered France).
Me: Cool. I have to say you look French. And your style is lovely.
Her: Oh, the purse is my kids (smiling).

We talk about what she does in Norway and about food.

Me: I have some limes on my basket. If I continue walking with you Its technically considered stealing.
Her: (laughs).
Me: I try to get to know you, Natalie and you're making me a criminal already.
Her: I know. But I do not have the time to see you buy food.
Me: okay. let's take a coffee then.
Her:It's too late for that, if I am gonna take something, it's gonna be a beer.
Me: Deal!

The cool thing here is that I was not giving up cos as I was talking to her, she was also pushing back and walking away. But my gut feeling kept telling me she was still interested. I say we should go to a local, cozy bar nearby. I decide to sit beside her and start escalating physically. She freezes up.

Her: Don't touch me, please! I don't like that.
Me: So where do you live here in Oslo?

I think the best thing to do when unpleasant surprises happen is to just continue as if nothing happened. I stopped touching her and diffused the negative tension. Instead, I saw this as an opportunity to escalate with my verbals and my eyes.

Me: So tell me about your job. What are a girl like you researching on?
Her: On fat cells and how they change.
Me: yes, they can get trapped in special areas on the body I guess (smiling).

And as she tells me more about it, I can't stop escalating non-verbally.

Her: Don't look at me like that.
Me: Like what? I am just concentrating on what you're saying.
Her: laughs.
Me: I want you so bad.
Her: What are you sayi...
Me: So are you putting your research on a paper.

I was saying a lot of random shit in between conversations. Like "I want to seduce you", "take me to Paris" and so on. And just before she starts noticing it, I start talking about something else. A nice way to put ideas in her mind. And not caring about it.

*Look intensely into her eyes.
*Say random, sexual shit.
*But do be playful about it.
*At the same time, build tension so you don't appear as "the nice guy".

She says she had to go. I tell her to get to my house. She declines. I persist. She declines again. The cool thing now is that I was also escalating a bit more physically and she was not noticing it at all.

Me: oh, my panties are yellow.
Her: Oh. nice to know.
Me: I bet yours are the same color.
Her: (after thinking about it). No.
Me: Red?
Her: no
Me: Black, then.
Her: no.
Me: Whatever. You're taking them off later on.
Her: (smiling) Are you like that to all girls you talk to? I must say I've never met someone like you.
Me: Only when I am inspired. You and I wouldn't make a good couple anyways, but I know well have fun.

We go back and forth for a while. But she still doesn't want to go home with me or give me her number. I give her a passionate kiss on her cheek and head out of her life to new adventures. I also talked to, and got a number from a girl on my way back home. That was fun

Wow!

Additional thoughts


The thing is that I felt great. I was well rested. I made a couple of warm up approaches. I was listening to some of my favorite music.That makes my vibe a lot better. I think I am getting to something cool now.

Things to improve

*Be more genuine

Things that went well

*Sexual intent.
*Being direct.
*The right vibe.