Funkus Maximus does the newbie assignment

[Funkus Maximus]

Greetings peeps!

Intro

So I put off getting into cold approach and training my game up all of my twenties, plus a bunch of long term GFs kind of got in the way of that anyway.

Been single for a couple months and getting ichy to finally stop relying on online dating apps as my only way of meeting women. I got the One Date product, and been reading the website in general... then found this assignment. Seems like a good way to ease me into actually making cold approach happen.

I have been a bit intimidated by all the posts and discussion about how cold approach can be BRUTAL for self-esteem, momentum, etc .. But also how it can sometimes be ESSENTIAL for breaking out of old habits, getting used to doing unpleasant things for a long-term pay-off, and just getting to meet people that would otherwise be totally inaccessible. My health doesn't really let me do much night game or going out at night in general, so getting out and trying to get dates in the day and early evening sounds like something realistic for me, although I am aware it may take some time and grind to get some initial results!

Getting started

Today I went out and did a bit of recon, found the nearby shopping centre and commercial district to have lots of cute ladies walking around so that could be part of my circuit in the future. I'm really into eco-chicks so I don't think malls and shopping zones are the best place to find my favorite type of girl, but you gotta work with something to get started and I am not going to be mega picky.

Assignment

Yesterday I walked around with a focus on my posture, looking people in the eye, and actually paying attention to who is around me. I am usually really in my head or looking at the architecture and plants rather than people. So it was a good assignment for me to get into a more human centered approach.

Today I walked around the local shopping centre with a focus on my posture, looking at the posture of others, and looking people in the eye. I was also seeing who I would like to potentially approach.. who seems open? I saw a cutie sitting down on a bench with her stuff right as I walked by - maybe the kind of person you could approach as she wouldn't be in movement rushing off. Saw a few others that I would have liked to say hello to, looking forward to that assignment coming up.

I felt like pretty much everyone around me had good posture, so it made people that kind slouched stick out a bit. I liked the feeling of focusing on my posture, and it was kinda fun looking people in the eye more than usual - especially when some people held the contact back with me MORE than I expected -- especially some of the older ladies at the café hah!

Next step
Tomorrow I will keep scouting for other locations, or thinking what a good circuit would be around town that hits places with cuties. Time of day obviously is key, so will be nice to see who is around at summertime during the day - in town, in shops, at the beach. Beach-side could be fun to check out!

I am kind of nervous about walking up, but at the same time I'm really looking forward to it, finally getting started. There is no pressure when you just say "Hi, how are you doing?" - I think the direct approach will be more scary, so I am banking on these assignments to warm me up to it.

 

[Funkus Maximus]

Task of the day: Hi, How's it going?

So this wasn't as easy as I thought, simply because saying hi what's up to some stranger going about their day isn't the most natural thing to do. You're not going to street stop someone just to say that!

I ended up completing the task on four strangers. The most memorable was a cutie waiting for the train. I asked her hey what's up, then followed up with a situational question.. I wanted to take the conversation further, but I kinda bailed on her as soon as the train arrived and we sat in separate areas. I'm thinking with practice that could have been a bit of a nicer interaction for both of us!

That's it for today, I enjoyed the process of thinking of who is approachable, what settings make sense.. And scouting places to meet people.

Thinking that.. Becoming a regular at the local café could be a fun way to build social momentum, getting used to chatting with new people regularly. Still looking for other good spots to go and meet cuties that isn't just street stop.

Take care folks!

 

[Funkus Maximus]

Task of the day: Get to small talk with at least one girl.

Today I wasn't feeling well, and had poor sleep, and I could tell wasn't going to be ideal for approaching.

I briefly spoke to a pair of girls waiting for the train, just commenting on the delay. Then I made some comments to two separate mixed groups, not really approaching one girl but it's more effort to speak with strangers than I ever would have done before.. It's getting me in the habit of looking around me, seeing who is there, who seems approachable.. I notice there's a lot less solo women around than I'd imagined in my head, lots of people in groups today.

I saw a bombshell girl I wished I'd said something to, she was walking opposite direction so it would have been a very "think fast let's goooo" approach.. But I think with some more practice at being more social and approaching.. That won't be a "what if" in the future

Take care folks.

The next challenge is either "get three rejections" or pay "genuine compliment opener". The rejection one is kinda spooking me, so I should probably try it...

 

[Funkus Maximus]

Hi folks!

Today's task: Make small talk with one girl.

Today I didn't have the time or energy for a bigger task, so I thought let's do something achievable while I go about my errands.

I went into a bookstore right by my place, and saw a cute girl checking books into the back of the shop, nice and quiet with a couch. I saw a book with a really silly title and commented on it as a situational opener.

We got talking, asked her about what she's buying.. Introduced myself.. We got talking about where we are from, what we do for work etc etc. I totally forgot to do a SAC ping, compliance would have been a good check.

Instead she was about to get going and I simply made the small request for a drink or meal sometime. I got her number

I felt really wired after she left, like I'd just did an exam or something. But really proud of myself for turning a book run into a cute girls phone number.. Hopefully can turn that into a date.

That's all for today! I think i will try the rejection or genuine compliment (or both) task for my next day infield.

Take care

 

[Funkus Maximus]

Hi folks!

Girls update
The girl from the bookstore got back to me, and I got myself my first date from a cold approach! It's on monday night, and starting around 8:30pm so that does not leave much time at all. I will therefore use the "informational" date template, keep the date max 1 hour just to get a feel for her, get her warmed up to me, so we may follow-up with a more fully fledged date that has half a chance of taking her to bed.

My approach with her in the store was not super, I stood there while she was sat down, I didn't do any pings to check for compliance, arousal etc.. just a bit of a platonic discussion, so I think I need this short date to set the scene for something a bit more sexual. That's not my strong point, but I want to see if I can set a frame that speaks: not a boyfriend, potential lover. I tend to be quite friendly and ooze the potential boyfriend vibe, so this is a challenge for me.. let's see how it goes.

NEWBIE Task of the day: Paying 4 girls a genuine compliment

So this took me a whole 1 hour! I went to a busy downtown area to see if that could be a good place to find women to compliment. I was feeling anxious as I left the house, and it got worse when I got to the spot. The AA is what made this take an hour.

First girl. I quickly spotted a cute girl in a pretty nice outfit. Hovered around a bit, saw she was waiting outside a venue, so I moved in and told her the "hey I saw you there while I was on the phone, I just had to tell you, you've got a great outfit, it works really well on you". She was really responsive from the get-go, said a big thanks straight away, told me she was waiting for her friend. we had a brief exchange about the film she was going to watch at the cinema, then I bid her a good evening.

I had jelly legs after that, needed to go and sit down somewhere to calm the AA down. I was quite surprised about this since it's literally giving someone a genuine compliment, not trying to get her to buy my timeshares with a gun to my head. This is why I am doing the newbie assignment! Get out of the fear, and into the fun side of speaking to girls.

Second approach was someone sitting down. I told her she had a nice tote bag, and a great top. She was happy about that, she said she had literally just purchased it today! So i think that will have brightened her afternoon. I didn't find her that cute, plus with the AA I just wanted to get the challenge done.

Third woman was in a big hurry. She had a really stylish handbag so I opened with the intention of complimenting it, but it went like that "Excuse me, I saw you-" "WHAT??" "oh, are you in a rush" "yeah..." "Alright, don't worry about it, have a good day" *she rushes off* -- not counting this one.

Forth woman was standing outside a building tying away at her phone. She had a really vivid color top. I went for the lame compliment here... "Hey I saw you standing there while I was on the phone, I just wanted to tell you that your top is great, the color pops" "Um.. thanks" "have a good day!"

Fifth woman: Really elegant outfit, looks like a silk top and bottom, with big gold earrings etc. She was paying at parking meter. I went for the compliment, she said thanks but didn't stop moving while I spoke, and off she went.

Summary
I felt like the genuineness of the compliments could definitely do with some work, I think my nervousness makes me not take my time in delivering the compliment, and the reactions or general disinterest from some of the women was putting me off. I think that's something that will get better with practice, and also i didn't find it super easy to find women I felt worth complimenting that weren't already with someone or in a group.

There were also some girls looking very rushed, or like they were just about to meet their crush around the corner (based on the gaze in their eyes), which makes me wonder how much of that is excuses I tell myself, and how much it's really about being quite selective in approaching in the right scenario for success.

I am glad for having done this one, it was a good way to warm up on cold approaches and see the reality of trying to find someone worth it.. which makes the stakes of the interaction feel high, which then ups the anxiety. Simply making dishing out compliments whenever I see a cutie out and about my day, integrating it into my lifestyle, would help me a lot in this.

Today's results: bleh - but did I do something I've never done before? YES!

That's it for today, take care folks.

 

[Funkus Maximus]

Hi all,

Just making an entry for this weekend. Didn't have the time or energy for the approaches I wanted to do, but I managed to attend a house party.

It has been a long time since my health was good enough for such an event so it felt great to be back into such an environment full of strangers to talk to! My focus was speaking with all the girls I thought were attractive, and really working on strong "magic eyes" eye contact.

All the cute girls had boyfriends, and one potentially single chick was giving some signals I did not like at all, or seemed closed off. Anyway, the eye contact really seemed to work because I was deep diving three or four people that evening, with one dude giving me his contact details! He seems to have some pretty solid game actually buy not sure I'm looking for a wingman at this minute.

The cutest girl and co-host of the event really seemed to be sucked into my gaze. She kept saying how much we were connecting, we were getting along so well etc even though I wasn't saying much at all! She gave me some really random anecdote about how her boyfriend after she said that, I'm assuming a way to let me know she felt my interest but wanted a way to clarify her relationship status. We still talked plenty and was keen for us to stay in touch. We have common interests so could be worth it for future parties with single girls attending next time lol.

I think working on this fundamental skill is important and I'm glad I did despite not getting any results with single ladies tonight. Step by step!

Scouted a spot, a bookstore with a café inside it.. Seems like a great place to try some approaches.

Hope the next entry will be about some cold approach

 

[BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN]

The final step, actually going for the kill, is the hardest step.

You wouldn’t suspect it, but there’s a huge gap between giving a compliment and asking for the number.

That gap is intention, you lay out all your cards on the table when you ask her out.

And doing that to strangers can take some getting used to

We evolved to mate with people we grew up with lifelong; people part of our tribe

That’s why the final step is the hardest

When I did the newbie assignment, one day I was like “enough compliments, I’m gonna do it”

I was tired of the anxiety hanging over my head, “will I ever be able to do cold approach?”

So one morning during psych class, I decided after class I was gonna ask out the hottest girl walking around campus

And I focused on this goal in my head so strongly that I became extremely determined, even though I was terrified.

And I did it!

She said no of course my game was terrible

But I was just so happy that I did it, because it meant it possible for me to cold approach thousands if I wanted to

So yeah, my advice is focus on your goal of cold approaching before you go out. Visualize it with intensity repeat a mantra if you have to, just anything to build up that determination that is going to combat your fear.

Best of luck,

Biggus

 

[Funkus Maximus]

Hi @BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN !

Thanks a lot for stopping by with some experience, I will work on that visualisation. I can feel I'm going to get there, just need to keep pushing!

 

[Funkus Maximus]

Hi all, I am back with an update.

July - September

I got started on the newbie assignment in July, just as some of my health issues were starting to improve. I got excited about getting back out there, but then I had a crash on the road when I was on my way to do doing an assignment, and it kind of killed my momentum.

I just read the e-book my Samuel Alexander on online dating tips... so I thought I'd get a couple good pictures taken and give Tinder/Hinge/Bumble a shot again after a long break from that. I am going to give a summary of how that's been going, with stats and reports.

Overall.. I am pretty damn tired of online dating after less than two months of being back on it. I got a couple of lays but not with anyone I found all that attractive or interesting, but it has allowed me to work on some things.

Online dating summary (8 weeks of activity)

For context: My aim is to get into a FWB situation with 1-2 attractive women to meet my need for regular sex.. and eventually find a girlfriend with someone that I really feel has got a solid foundation we can work upon. I realize it's going to take some time and work to get there considering my lack of practice with game and approaching.

Tinder has been the one app that led to actual lays for me, although Hinge has been better for actually getting matches in the past few weeks. I KNEW that the moment I installed Tinder the clock was on, because you get put to the top of the list for a few days, then suddenly you stop getting matches. I may need to seriously upgrade my photos because they could definitely be improved to convey a sexier vibe.

I did my best to schedule dates with enough time to do a "structured date" format, but often the girls were only free after work so it meant less time to work with. This meant going on multiple dates for one girl that I eventually slept with, which felt like a lot of time and effort for what ended up being a "ONS".

I am also feeling tired of the process, quite demotivated by the quality of the women I have ended up meeting, and realizing how much work it is just to get a ONS once per month or so. My health is still not fully back yet, so I do not have a ton of energy for my work goals, friends, and love life.

I feel like the hours to lay ratio needs to improve in the long run. I have a pattern of getting into a relationship with the FIRST woman I sleep with that I consider attractive enough and has a decent personality. This has proved to be a WASTE of years of my youth.. I could have kept going instead...could have tried to find someone that matched my physical needs, plus matching personality and life goals. No time for COULD HAVES, not it is time for WHAT'S NEXT!

STATS

Number of women met: 9
Number of dates: 12
Number of lays: 3 (2 PIV + 1 oral sex)

I do not know if those stats are good or not, but I do know that I will be able to use these to compare with my numbers in the future. The important part is that these get better. I've gone to the effort to document all of these dates so that I can hopefully improve for the next times.

Lay Reports
Brunette that opened me
Ginger that made me wait
Aussie that gave me LMR

Date Reports
The one I was ACTUALLY excited about

Outing Report
Went out solo to the student bar - LINK (WORKING ON IT!))

Current state

The past week was marked with:
-- 1 date with the girl that gave me LMR but still gave me oral, and
-- the girl I was actually excited about kinda ghosting me after the first date.

The sting of rejection from the last one is weighing on me. It feels like a mix of humiliation, defeat and worthlessness. It just sucks. I know that I have what it takes to be a good, fun lover..but I am just not performing when it comes to the women I actually find attractive and desirable. I know I need to just keep pushing and I'll eventually find someone I ACTUALLY like, that would be excited to become my lover.

My pipeline

The dating apps are no longer yielding any matches. This is what I needed... no more crutch from the online dating that has been yielding dates with women I am not all that attracted to. So much time and effort spent on women I don't want to fight for. Do I want to push and overcome their obstacles, their LMR? Their hurdles.. when I don't even want them that bad? I would rather invest that kind of energy into people I really desire.

I need to build up my pipeline from scratch as I have no matches and no further dates lined up. I think it's time to GET BACK ON BOARD with the Newbie Assignment. My assignment that I left hanging was approaching 2 women sitting down. Let's give this a try next week and I will report back.

 

[Funkus Maximus]

Just an update for the journal. Health has continued to be crap so I haven't had the energy to do a bunch of online dating, or even continue the newbie assignment.

I got back with a girl I was seeing at the beginning of the year.. Just temporary she's no longer living in my area.

That felt great to have GOOD sex again.. All those dates in the summer and didn't have anything close to what I had with her, so it reminds me of what I'm looking for. But very frustrating with the health situation... Tempted to keep seeing this girl when she's in town next.. even though our relationship went way beyond casual in spring.

I'm thinking of putting energy in upgrading my photos for online game, as I don't see a realistic way of getting leads in my current condition.. I may be exhausted but.... Booty doth call.

It takes time to organise little shoots to get better photos, so by the time I get a better selection, I might be in shape for online game.

I've been such as "nice sweet guy" that cultivating online profile that's more sexual takes some work, but it feels important to disqualify the boyfriend category right from the profile level.