FR German uni student number close

[average_daygamer]

I did the first approach and the best approach of the day and got a number close. It was a German uni student who was walking along, I had to do the classic "run back after" which I nearly didn't do!

Oh yes, the uni students are here again, so there will be a lot more daygame opportunities in my small city!

The set lasted 10 minutes.

I would not have approached her if she didn't have tattoos, they are the one thing that told me she was atleast 18. Once in the interaction, it turns out she was from Germany but spoke fluent English. I guessed she was doing something medical or art (tattoos and piercings make me think of this) but it turns out she was studying games design.

It was a good back and fourth, I am trying to remember the details. Oh yes, games design, German but studying here, quite a slim build, pale complexion.

My vibe was great the whole way through, I managed eye contact and really slowed down my speech to appear relaxed, although I did feel somewhat self conscious being seen talking to a girl on the street in such a way.

I asked how she was enjoying the city and she said it was great, I agreed, although for somewhat different reasons It really is the only daygameble city in this region.

I did drop a hint that I had to go and grab lunch, but then we chatted some more, I would estimate the set lasted 10 minutes. She had a wrap from McDonald's tucked into her student bag and I joked that I have eaten so many after the gym just for the protein content that I am sick of them!

The 2nd time I mentioned about leaving for lunch I said "but I would like to see you again". She suggested Insta but I quipped "I am 1/2 way through building an insta but haven't completed it yet" which was a good rejection of the suggestion. The reason I don't have an insta is because I don't want rumour to go around campus about "a creepy guy approaching all the girls, this is his insta/face etc".

I suggested her phone number instead, I gave her my phone and she put it in. She checked that I had saved it correctly which I saw as a good sign that she was genuinely interested.

What I didn't do too well was not suggesting an activity during the interaction. My go to was the cathedral which I used on the insta date earlier this year but she said she already had seen it.

I must have mumbled something vague but I couldn't think of anything exciting on the spot unfortunately.

I have dropped a text 1/2 an hour ago joking about apologising for making her wrap too cold or staying out in the sun too long but she hasn't replied yet.

I could really do with a date this time as I would like to see some return on investment to keep me approaching, any tips?

 

[Just a Man]

I have dropped a text 1/2 an hour ago joking about apologising for making her wrap too cold or staying out in the sun too long but she hasn't replied yet.

Avoid doing this kind of thing in future.

I could really do with a date this time as I would like to see some return on investment to keep me approaching, any tips?

The role of any text - preferably first text - at this stage is to get the date. So just forget about your previous text. Message in 12-24 hours simply to suggest coffee and ask her when she's free. Don't elaborate. Very pared back. As in: 'Hey: fancy grabbing a coffee? When are you free?'

That's the one you want a reply to.

If she was interested and hasn't got rattled, she'll take you up and suggest when. If she doesn't do that, find another girl and try again.

 

[average_daygamer]

Avoid doing this kind of thing in future.

The role of any text - preferably first text - at this stage is to get the date. So just forget about your previous text. Message in 12-24 hours simply to suggest coffee and ask her when she's free. Don't elaborate. Very pared back. As in: 'Hey: fancy grabbing a coffee? When are you free?'

That's the one you want a reply to.

If she was interested and hasn't got rattled, she'll take you up and suggest when. If she doesn't do that, find another girl and try again.

Ok so the joke opener was a bad text, got it.

I read something about making a reference back to the interaction which was why I thought it was cleaver.

In my last text thread on here, I suggested the date in the first text and people thought it was too much investment.

What's so bad about the casual joke opener, out of interest?

 

[Just a Man]

I read something about making a reference back to the interaction which was why I thought it was cleaver.

Understood - but very briefly: 'Hey: great to meet you. Fancy grabbing a coffee? When are you free?' I should have included that reference back. But I think it really pays to keep it minimal.

In my last text thread on here, I suggested the date in the first text and people thought it was too much investment.

I'll try to find that thread and maybe circle back. But I think the consistent GC advice (Chase and others) is that, where you've had an IRL meet and taken a number, you aim to use texting really purely to set up the date.

Not sure about the 'too much investment'. Maybe it depends how you're doing it. I would not use the word 'date' (which is indeed investment-heavy, and just... shudder...). And I wouldn't bundle it up with chit chat. Laid back, low pressure, to the point.

What's so bad about the casual joke opener, out of interest?

You've already chatted IRL. So why chat more over text? Not that it's 'bad', as such; but where's it getting you? It's a hold-up to setting up a meet.

All just IMO/IME, and my own read of GC material on this. But I'm no dogmatist: I also realize that it can all be very circumstance driven as well.

 

[Just a Man]

PS. actually, the reason I didn't include the reference back in the earlier version of my suggested text is that your joke opener already did that. But, with a different girl, maybe use the reference back rolled in with the date proposal, per the second version of my suggested text.

Also: there's been lots of detailed work on text phrasing in GC articles. I'm just adapting that here from memory and stuff I've done that worked.

 

[Will_V]

Avoid doing this kind of thing in future.

Completely agree, though perhaps for a different reason. Jokey apologies typically come off as either weak or scrabbling, imo. It kind of implies an apology for the whole interaction, by association.

The role of any text - preferably first text - at this stage is to get the date. So just forget about your previous text. Message in 12-24 hours simply to suggest coffee and ask her when she's free. Don't elaborate. Very pared back. As in: 'Hey: fancy grabbing a coffee? When are you free?'

I wouldn't go for the soft close right away, especially after a lame icebreaker. I'd go for something designed to elicit a reply and then after that go for the soft close. The whole idea of an icebreaker is to establish communication.

Throwing a soft close into a double text is just not a great vibe imo.

@average_daygamer what's something you noticed about her that you really liked (other than the obvious things)?

 

[Just a Man]

I wouldn't go for the soft close right away, especially after a lame icebreaker. I'd go for something designed to elicit a reply and then after that go for the soft close.

Throwing a soft close into a double text is just not a great vibe imo.

I can see where you're coming from but I still lean to think it's either leave the lame icebreaker standing and get the reply to that, or go for the soft close. Otherwise it's following the lame icebreaker with another effort to elicit a reply before going for soft close. Is that really better? If she really liked him, she's probably just thinking: why isn't he asking me out?

 

[average_daygamer]

PS. actually, the reason I didn't include the reference back in the earlier version of my suggested text is that your joke opener already did that. But, with a different girl, maybe use the reference back rolled in with the date proposal, per the second version of my suggested text.

Also: there's been lots of detailed work on text phrasing in GC articles. I'm just adapting that here from memory and stuff I've done that worked.

Hey, thanks for the long post.

The "reference back" to the interaction has a proper name which I only just remembered-"call back humour".

I tried to be casual and carefree and it failed. However, I have tried to date close before in the opener and it was too much as well.

Ref this thread from earlier this year

1st text after daytime approach

Hey nice forum you guys have here. I thought everything was on Reddit and Facebook these days! A problem I have is that I rarely get replies after getting the girl's number. My daygame city is not that big so I can't simply approach more to get more numbers, before anyone suggests that! A text...

www.skilledseducer.com

I could delete the message to cause some intrigue, what about that?

Then start again hoping she wouldn't notice

 

[Just a Man]

I could delete the message to cause some intrigue, what about that?

Then start again hoping she wouldn't notice

Lol. Never. Always stand by your texts. She probably read it on notifications within seconds. If you delete it, it's the weakest look of all.

 

[Will_V]

I can see where you're coming from but I still lean to think it's either leave the lame icebreaker standing and get the reply to that, or go for the soft close. Otherwise it's following the lame icebreaker with another effort to elicit a reply before going for soft close.

Well, it feels weird imo to start asking for stuff over text when she hasn't even replied on that medium. There is zero compliance on text so far, and it has to start with some kind of reply on her part.

Leaving a day or so and then just sending another spontaneous text doesn't come off tryhard. I've done it plenty of times and been successful. Sometimes I think girls like to see what you will do with silence before putting themselves back in your frame.

Also, it's a strong frame to wait for her to reply before asking for compliance, because (all else being equal) it puts you in a frame of wanting to evaluate her a bit, even a small bit, before inviting her into your life. Whereas asking right away can come off like "it doesn't matter what I do, reply or not, he's keen to see me, he must want me more than I want him".

All these things sound pedantic but factor into the 'vibe test' of whether a girl feels like things are right when she has to make a decision of yes or no.

Is that really better? If she really liked him, she's probably just thinking: why isn't he asking me out?

A girl who's given out her number to a stranger is not thinking "why isn't he asking me out" she's thinking "Did I do the right thing?". In this state, if you're too hard-closing it can easily trigger all sorts of ideas about what type of person you are, followed by ghosting.

Instead it's going to feel to her like you're wanting to make sure she's comfortable enough to text you back before you ask to see her.

 

[Just a Man]

Well, it feels weird imo to start asking for stuff over text when she hasn't even replied on that medium. There is zero compliance on text so far, and it has to start with some kind of reply on her part.

Leaving a day or so and then just sending another spontaneous text doesn't come off tryhard. I've done it plenty of times and been successful. Sometimes I think girls like to see what you will do with silence before putting themselves back in your frame.

Also, it's a strong frame to wait for her to reply before asking for compliance, because (all else being equal) it puts you in a frame of wanting to evaluate her a bit, even a small bit, before inviting her into your life. Whereas asking right away can come off like "it doesn't matter what I do, reply or not, he's keen to see me, he must want me more than I want him".

All these things sound pedantic but factor into the 'vibe test' of whether a girl feels like things are right when she has to make a decision of yes or no.



A girl who's given out her number to a stranger is not thinking "why isn't he asking me out" she's thinking "Did I do the right thing?". In this state, if you're too hard-closing it can easily trigger all sorts of ideas about what type of person you are, followed by ghosting.

Instead it's going to feel to her like you're wanting to make sure she's comfortable enough to text you back before you ask to see her.

Yes, I can see your logic. I suspect it depends very much on the girl and on the dynamic of the preceding IRL first encounter. After all, she might just be a slow responder and actually find his joke text hilarious

 

[Will_V]

After all, she might just be a slow responder and actually find his joke text hilarious

Very true! I'd wait at least a day before sending anything else.

 

[average_daygamer]

Well thanks for this discussion guys, I have work today and Thursday but I am free on Friday. I was thinking of texting Thursday evening nonchalantly "Hey, I am free tomorrow, how about we grab a coffee?".

Otherwise, feel free to suggest a text because I really have no idea what's good or not.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Just a note, I think call back helps with another thing. When you walk up to a girl confidently, interact and get her number, a certain portion of girls tend to re run the interaction in their mind and think of you as "too smooth" and that she just got caught up in the moment and gave out her number, that she was very "easy" etc.

And also there is a chance of her thinking if he can do that to me, he can do it a lot of girls and maybe I am just one of 10 he did that to today.

So referencing back to some little thing in the icebreaker like if she told you she was shopping for a present for her sister for example:

"Hey, xyz! It was nice meeting you. Hope you could find a cute present for your sister pretty soon!"

This kind of reassures her that it was a bit more to you than just one among a dozen interactions and that you got a bunch of numbers and sent the same "Hey xyz! It was nice meeting you." text to everyone.

But in all honesty, if the vibe was strong and she is available and she liked you in the initial interaction, these small things wont make a difference. It only might help nudge things your way, when the girl is truly on the fence.

But I see a lot of guys complaining about girls not replying after daygame numbers and getting disheartened and torturing themselves over whether they are doing something wrong or whether the sexual marketplace has changed or whether feminism has destroyed dating and all sorts of other random shit.

But the thing is fully cold approach daygame by which I mean the girl does not know you exist, until you appear in front of her and start interacting is always a low odds game. Its like poker, the goal is not to win every hand, its to stay in the game long enough with of course the basic skillset at least to then take advantage of the wins that eventually come.

I would anyday put money on an average or even below average guy who approaches consistently for a year, rather than a guy who knows all the techniques, obssesses over each interaction and burns out in a matter of weeks or when he gets a bunch of numbers that flake and then takes "a break" and goes away from it for a while and then keeps repeating this cycle.

In my experience the biggest skill to develop in daygame is resilience and discipline and accepting that only results over a larger sample size of approaches or a 2-3 month period are the only things that MEAN anything not every individual interaction.

 

[average_daygamer]

Right guys I sent her a follow up text asking if she wants to hang out on Sunday. I said "I'm free" implying that I am a busy high value man but I doubt it will make a difference.

I've gotta come up with more text game as this is the 3rd non reply I've had in a row.

 

[gameboy]

Chase had a great article about being dogged recently, could try with a voice or video message...

though after 3 non replies, I'd assume she isn't interested. But still, you can always shoot a voice mail or try and give her a call in a week or so just in case.

 

[average_daygamer]

Chase had a great article about being dogged recently, could try with a voice or video message...

though after 3 non replies, I'd assume she isn't interested. But still, you can always shoot a voice mail or try and give her a call in a week or so just in case.

I have no idea what these chicks would make of getting a voice message or call.

I would never call. When they go silent it makes me worried about why. The last thing they want is a creep blowing up their phone.

Maybe word has gotten around or something, I don't know.

I did experiment with voice messages on my big "pre Christmas push" last year where I got 7 numbers and gave 1 girl my number but voice messages got flaked on as well.

If this forum was more sophisticated I could share them or if anyone wants to DM me their WhatsApp I could forward the conversations to them.

The theme is consistent, the girl either doesn't reply to my initial message or stops replying after 1 or 2 messages.

Having not a single reply 3 numbers in a row is so disappointing.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Having not a single reply 3 numbers in a row is so disappointing.

Had 5 in a row. Then 6 and 7 both came out on a date.

I really dont think most guys understand just how much randomness is involved in this process.

If you get 10+ numbers consistently to have none of them turn into dates, then its time to diagnose. Sometimes its just randomness.

You get 3 no replies in a row and you agonize because its woeful, looking at your results. Its 0/3.

If you just continued till 15, what if by then you got 4 dates. Then suddenly 4 dates out of 15 numbers does not seem so woeful does it?

This is not a linear thing. You dont get "proportionate" and "consistent" returns for your efforts like many other pursuits in life. Thats exactly why most people quit.

 

[average_daygamer]

Had 5 in a row. Then 6 and 7 both came out on a date.

I really dont think most guys understand just how much randomness is involved in this process.

If you get 10+ numbers consistently to have none of them turn into dates, then its time to diagnose. Sometimes its just randomness.

You get 3 no replies in a row and you agonize because its woeful, looking at your results. Its 0/3.

If you just continued till 15, what if by then you got 4 dates. Then suddenly 4 dates out of 15 numbers does not seem so woeful does it?

This is not a linear thing. You dont get "proportionate" and "consistent" returns for your efforts like many other pursuits in life. Thats exactly why most people quit.

I'm not thinking about quitting, I've been in the game for years now and it is my preferred way of meeting people. The only trouble is, it's not going past a number close, often times.

Maybe I should have pushed for the instant date on this occasion? The girl did say she wasn't doing much and just going to have lunch. But then I didn't want to seem like a guy with nothing on.

It's just, I would have thought a 10 minute interaction would have been enough. The only thing was I didn't plan the date in advance. I suggested one activity, then she said she had already seen it, so then I made a vague other suggestion which even I can't remember.

The problem is, the city where I approach is small so there are only so many girls I can approach. I do hesitate in non ideal situations to avoid a cringe approach as well. It is not the size of city where you can go crazy and approach every chick you see.

I was supposed to go up to London today but it's torrentially raining.

Also, London is far away and thus setting up dates is impractical and a lot of girls are not in London for long anyway. So day gaming in my local city makes sense, but the volume isn't there to deploy the skillset on a mass scale so every phone number counts.

 

[average_daygamer]

Chase had a great article about being dogged recently, could try with a voice or video message...

though after 3 non replies, I'd assume she isn't interested. But still, you can always shoot a voice mail or try and give her a call in a week or so just in case.

Sorry I meant 3 number closes on different girls resulted in 3 non replies to my initial opener.

I am hesitant to use a voice note as that might seem a bit odd. I used them last year on my pre Christmas push and the girl stopped replying afterwards.

I also have no idea what calling a non replying girl would result in. But it would seem to be a needy behaviour and perhaps even a bit intimidating, which I don't want to do.