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FU  Girl left the date because I was "too pushy"

kristian

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 11, 2015
Messages
470
Monday 11th April 2016

“I can't do this, I am sorry. You're too pushy and I can't take it. I have to go”. I just sat there in a state of shock, not realizing what I did wrong. She told me she did not like the fact that I was touching her thighs, she says as she was putting on her jacket ready to leave. I realized that this situation was fucked up beyond any recognition so at least I could get some valuable feedback on my game.

“I am a physical type of guy, if my touch ever insulted you from the bottom of my heart, I am really sorry”. That did not help at all, and even after asking her for some directions (eg. when did you feel that I stepped out of line) she could not answer my question. So she left and I was sitting there, in front of a lot of people staring blankly into space thinking for myself; “Okay, this is certainly a new experience. I better find out what I did wrong if I did something wrong.”

I drank up both mine and her glass of wine. And analyzed a bit. I analyzed a lot actually.. “At least my approaches are good and getting dates are not that hard anymore.”, I thought to myself. Right now, it feels like my early successes has been from sheer luck. I am a little tired of just getting dates, and feel to attached to results (since I am getting used to getting dates, I want consistent lays).

But I know what I did wrong as well.

*I was being me, touchy, escalating from time to time, and steering conversations. However, this time I was too much in my head. I am also tired of going to the same venue. I need to find somewhere else and take it from there.

*The biggest mistake I did, was not the touching part, but the fact that I ignored her signals. She was looking at my hands when I rested them on her shoulders, arms and thighs. She did this a couple of times. I did not take notes of that until I had to analyze what I did. She even crossed her arms at one point, without me ever pulling back. I think I need to pull a little more.

*When I approached her, I should have flirted a bit more with her than I did. I should also moved her and I should get more compliance from her. Chase framing should be implemented. That way I can find out who is the most eager to meet me and who is not. I don't want to waste time that way anymore.

My pride is a little hurt. And after having a three dates (two from cold approach) the last couple of weeks that did not go anywhere, I need to restore my reserves. This week I will take a couple of days off, and resume my gaming on thursday or friday.

Now I will spend time reading a lot and looking for ways I can implement push, investment and chase frames. This is nothing more than a sticking point for me.
 

pks391

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 12, 2015
Messages
275
Perhaps you came across as a bit creepy and your actions and intent were not matching which threw the girl off.
You forgot to read her body language and take two steps back when you sensed her discomfort. Its all about getting her comfortable with your presence first.
You were supposed to touch her only at certain 'points' E.g. when she laughs at your joke or is showing signs of a good mood.
www.girlschase.com/content/book-excerpt ... hing-women
This may be of use:
www.girlschase.com/content/how-physical ... blic-girls
Also read these:
www.girlschase.com/content/touch-and-subcommunication
www.girlschase.com/.../7-ways-touch-gir ... -touch-you

Escalating in public in general is not a good idea since some girls are not very comfortable being touched in those areas in a public venue. (I am guessing you were in a place full of people.)
According, to me, being apologetic was not strong/sexual male behaviour, you should've merely said that this is just you, no need for the sorry, if this was how you truly were, you would not apologize for touching her. Although, again the place matters.
At least my approaches are good and getting dates are not that hard anymore.
Its good that you are progressing at a steady pace, don't give up just because of a few setbacks,but make sure to calibrate your next date according to the mistakes and as per the girl.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

HellAtlantic

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jul 1, 2015
Messages
301
"I'm not gonna apologize for being turned on by you to the point where I can't keep my hands to myself."

But really you should be reading their signs better, it was all in her body language. Your actions came off more as someone who read articles how to touch girls and how to turn them on that you were just being too by the book to stop and read her signals if she was appreciating your touch. But all of this is totally fine, you're calibrating things. Sometimes, a lot of the times, you need to go bold in order to establish limits so that future interactions go smoothly. This is all a learning process for you and now you have reference points. Keep growing.
 

Seppuku

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Aug 25, 2014
Messages
1,149
Hey man,

If you have a process that gets you dates, that's already a solid start.

Overall, it's better to be overly aggressive, than not enough. But now, what you need is to learn some calibration: adapt your game to the situation and to the girl. Here you do this by paying attention to her reaction. Touching is great. Start slowly with incidental touching. Later, leave a lingering touch on her hand or forearm. What's her reaction? Is she touching you back? If no, lean back, cut touching for a while, and start again later. If yes, or if the reaction was positive, reward her with more touch. Initially, keep touching socially acceptable places, forearm, hand, shoulder. Later you can try her hair, then her neck. Next, more sexual places (legs...), if the vibe is good and no one watching. Step by step. Always check her reception to your touch, and only proceed to next step if she's comfortable.

And yes, better to be in a quiet place with few people, than crowded and noisy place - not sure from your report. The girls are always acutely aware of whether people around are watching, or not. You may want to try a different place.

Keep getting dates, keep trying.

Cheers,
Seppuku
 
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