Hit it off with a girl, became good friends, and was moving things in a sexual direction. I was out of town a few weeks, got back, and she said that she has started seeing a guy. Nothing physical has happened, it sounds like they are just friends, but she is clearly interested in him. However, one hour after telling me this, she invited me back to her house and we slept together. She seems to be giving me signals that nothing is going to happen with me longer-term by talking about this guy, but then... What happened is a fairly clear signal of something else. Or do I just take what she is saying (and doing) at face value and this may have been a one off? If anything, she seems unclear of what she wants, or simply sees me as a friend + lover, rather than lover + provider?
Girl says she is interested in someone else, seems to be giving me the cold shoulder, but then has sex with me
- Thread starter anon123
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leave the overthinking to her…
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Women's "game" is them being ambiguous and fickle. It tends to make men confused and second-guessing everything 
What matters is that their actions speak louder than their words. That's what you should care about
She slept with you? Then that guy she couldn't stop mention is probably not that important to her
What matters is that their actions speak louder than their words. That's what you should care about
She slept with you? Then that guy she couldn't stop mention is probably not that important to her
Thanks brothers. This is very helpful. She either means all she says and there us no reading between the lines, or she is trying to suck me into overthinking by sending a message “this shouldn’t be so easy for you” or “you’d better stay on your toes and keep working at this” or something of the sort.
I think my approach should be just to not care about the other guy? Pretend I am fine with her seeing him. If she brings it up, give some response along those lines but otherwise try to divert conversation away from talking about him? And then keep bedding her once or twice a week and just have an attitude of assuming that is going to continue, while outside of sex just be a fun person to be around.
Does this generally sound like a good approach to take?
I think my approach should be just to not care about the other guy? Pretend I am fine with her seeing him. If she brings it up, give some response along those lines but otherwise try to divert conversation away from talking about him? And then keep bedding her once or twice a week and just have an attitude of assuming that is going to continue, while outside of sex just be a fun person to be around.
Does this generally sound like a good approach to take?
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No. She’s just being a girl. What she says doesn’t matter, how you respond does.
It’s too early for you to care. She’s allowed to (and will) see whoever she wants until you guys decide otherwise (monogamous LTR).
She brings up the other dude, you either encourage her to make it work with him (“sounds like you guys would make a great couple”) or just be bored let the convo die and change the subject to something more interesting.
Bed her no more than once a week, every 10 is probably better and go and get more girls in your roster. You should be fucking other girls as well. Way too early to be considering something serious and consistent. It’s her job to chase you, if she feels like it…
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What was the context of the convo that made her bring it up.
Some girls throw things like this out there in the hopes that you’ll get jealous and try to lock her down before she’s “gone”. Sometimes true sometimes not true in the way she implies it.
Other times a dhv response to something you might’ve said that she took as her having to compete with you.
I can't remember to be honest. We were just making conversation really. It didn't feel at all like she was trying to make me jealous, it was just said in a kind of manner of fact way.
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Honestly it’s hard to say without more context, but I still lean more toward trying to evoke some kind of jealousy or seeing how you respond to it and if you get dejected by what she said.
Either way I agree with topcat inso far as you already fucked her so it doesn’t even really matter what she’s thinking, that matters more for the lessons you can take away from dealing with her.
And regardless of her intention you’d deal with it in the same way MOST of the time.
This is something I tend to get when i’ve already been seeing a girl for an extended period of time and she’s angling for ways for it to be something more. Usually you can draw this conclusion because it won’t be the only way she tries to.
For her to do it before you fucked isn’t something I really get and seems weird to me, unless you brought it up first in some way.