So i was hanging out with my girlfriend, we've been fucking for 3 months and monogamous for 6 weeks. Its my first monogamaous relationship. Ive had 4 different friends with benefits relationships in the last year that lasted 2 months or more. They were always down to fuck. There was never a time with any of those girls that i started escalating towards sex and they stopped me.
Then 2 weeks ago i fucked my girlfriend after dinner and then we were in bed cuddling, then 45 minutes later i got horny again and started making out and trying to fuck and she was pulling her head away and saying she was tired. she was like "we just had sex, well actually it was 45 minutes ago" and she was laughing. Well then she started to give me a handjob and at first i was like man wtf, i wanted to fuck her doggystyle. But whatever, i let her finishe me off and then im satisfied and then i suggest she leave since she said she was tired and that it was getting late. But then she was being all hesitent, i could tell she was horny. And i said something like that to her and then started making out and fingering her. I made her cum with my fingers and she was satisfied and then left. I wasn't bothered at all but afterwards i thought more about and definitely got annoyed. She said she was tired but then gave me a handjob and then wanted me to finger her when we could have just had sex in the first place.
Then tonight we hungout again, hadn't seen each other in a week cuz we were busy. And we fucked like usual. Then we got food and chilled for a while. Then it was like 3 hours since we fucked and she was saying she should be leaving soon, she did have to get up farely early, like 9 hrs from that point. But i thought itd be fun to fuck again so i made some kind of joke like after we have sex. I felt it would set bad frames if i said something like that and then we didn't do it. I started making out with her and getting horny so i said lets go to my room. She said why? I said i have to show her something in my room. She said what? I said its in my room i can't show it to you here. It was obvious what i was talking about i just thought it was funny. She gets up after i help lift her up out of her chair and then walks in my room, then i pulled my pants down and said here it is. Again i thought it was funny. Then she sits on my chair and i say dont sit there. I lift her up but she acts all heavy and she lays on the ground. I figured she's just being difficult to tease. I get on top of her but i feel im squishing her so i pull her up and throw her on the bed. Get on top of her and start making out but again shes turning her head away and saying shes not in the mood. Im not really believing this. In my mind i fugured shes playing some game to see who holds the upper hand. Its fucking awkward trying to have sex with someone who doesn't wanna have sex with you so i stop and accept its not gonna happen. Then shes looking at me and she looks like shes horny so go back at it again but she pulls away again.
I was really challenging her. And i wasn't that upset, it was kind of like playfully teasing. I said "We had sex 4 times the first time we fucked, now ur saying youre not horny. Either youre lying or you got sick of me or i lost my swag. This was said in kind of a joking way but she got all serious and was like are you serious? and she started looking all sad like she was going to cry trying to make me feel guitly. i had a lot to say but i started to keep my mouth shut but then i just let it out. I said I've had sex with a lot of girls you know that, this never happened with any of them so i dont know if this is just a relationship thing or what or if youre testing me, this is confusing and i bet youre horny right now. I tried reaching my hand down her pants to see if she was wet. She stopped me. Then i had her leave since she said she was too tired. It definitely felt a little awkward as she was leaving. I was thinking about how dumb this was and i was annoyed, she could sense it im sure, i didnt know what to say.
Then a half hour after she left, while i was writing this thread, she texted me this huge message
"I just want to make sure you know that being your girlfriend does not mean I am there for your every sexual desire. If i am tired, stressed, not feeling well, and/or just not in the mood, while i do like having sex with you, I am in no way obligated to. I dont want to sound harsh but i have been in situations where people have not respected that I am not required to have sex with them. It's never come to rape, but it has come uncomfortabley close and well into the realm of sexual assault. I do not want that to happen again so I'm just making sure you understand that being your girlfriend does not mean sex every time you want it. We can be intimate and show we care for each other without sex, though sex will certainly be part of it. Kissing doesn't always have to lead to sex and there are always other options. Even just cuddling to show you care can be enough at some times. It's not all about sex. It shouldn't be all about sex. I can assure you sex will be part of our relationship but i"
for some reason it stopped there, i feel like there was more to the message but it didnt show up.
Im fucking pissed, here there's this girl trying to be controlling. First she said she wouldn't hang out with me if i was seeing other people. I thought she was cool enough to try a real relationship with so i did give it a try. In a way i think i resented her a little for trying to control me and not let me be with other girls but i agreed to continue it with her almost as a gift. She really liked me and i liked her too so it was cool. Now she's trying to the one with the authority and i hate it. I hate authority. I hate not having freedom. I hate bosses but i deal with them because i dont run my own business. And now i have to deal with her authority as well, i don't know if i can do this.
When i first read her message i wrote this, "Shit well i like my freedom so maybe this just wont work out." I saved it to drafts because i realized it was kinda crazy and i didnt want to regret it but after reading her message again i just got more pissed and went and hit send. She hasn't responded, im sure she's asleep but i don't think i could go back with her after that text even if i wanted to.
Could i please get some suggestions though for next time? What would u guys have done differently? I feel like thinking back to it now that i should have realized she was like this earlier in the relationship and not decided to go into it with her. She didnt kiss me until our third date, it was the 9th time i tried kissing her. Should have just known right there.
Or maybe do you guys think im blowing this way out of proportion?
Then 2 weeks ago i fucked my girlfriend after dinner and then we were in bed cuddling, then 45 minutes later i got horny again and started making out and trying to fuck and she was pulling her head away and saying she was tired. she was like "we just had sex, well actually it was 45 minutes ago" and she was laughing. Well then she started to give me a handjob and at first i was like man wtf, i wanted to fuck her doggystyle. But whatever, i let her finishe me off and then im satisfied and then i suggest she leave since she said she was tired and that it was getting late. But then she was being all hesitent, i could tell she was horny. And i said something like that to her and then started making out and fingering her. I made her cum with my fingers and she was satisfied and then left. I wasn't bothered at all but afterwards i thought more about and definitely got annoyed. She said she was tired but then gave me a handjob and then wanted me to finger her when we could have just had sex in the first place.
Then tonight we hungout again, hadn't seen each other in a week cuz we were busy. And we fucked like usual. Then we got food and chilled for a while. Then it was like 3 hours since we fucked and she was saying she should be leaving soon, she did have to get up farely early, like 9 hrs from that point. But i thought itd be fun to fuck again so i made some kind of joke like after we have sex. I felt it would set bad frames if i said something like that and then we didn't do it. I started making out with her and getting horny so i said lets go to my room. She said why? I said i have to show her something in my room. She said what? I said its in my room i can't show it to you here. It was obvious what i was talking about i just thought it was funny. She gets up after i help lift her up out of her chair and then walks in my room, then i pulled my pants down and said here it is. Again i thought it was funny. Then she sits on my chair and i say dont sit there. I lift her up but she acts all heavy and she lays on the ground. I figured she's just being difficult to tease. I get on top of her but i feel im squishing her so i pull her up and throw her on the bed. Get on top of her and start making out but again shes turning her head away and saying shes not in the mood. Im not really believing this. In my mind i fugured shes playing some game to see who holds the upper hand. Its fucking awkward trying to have sex with someone who doesn't wanna have sex with you so i stop and accept its not gonna happen. Then shes looking at me and she looks like shes horny so go back at it again but she pulls away again.
I was really challenging her. And i wasn't that upset, it was kind of like playfully teasing. I said "We had sex 4 times the first time we fucked, now ur saying youre not horny. Either youre lying or you got sick of me or i lost my swag. This was said in kind of a joking way but she got all serious and was like are you serious? and she started looking all sad like she was going to cry trying to make me feel guitly. i had a lot to say but i started to keep my mouth shut but then i just let it out. I said I've had sex with a lot of girls you know that, this never happened with any of them so i dont know if this is just a relationship thing or what or if youre testing me, this is confusing and i bet youre horny right now. I tried reaching my hand down her pants to see if she was wet. She stopped me. Then i had her leave since she said she was too tired. It definitely felt a little awkward as she was leaving. I was thinking about how dumb this was and i was annoyed, she could sense it im sure, i didnt know what to say.
Then a half hour after she left, while i was writing this thread, she texted me this huge message
"I just want to make sure you know that being your girlfriend does not mean I am there for your every sexual desire. If i am tired, stressed, not feeling well, and/or just not in the mood, while i do like having sex with you, I am in no way obligated to. I dont want to sound harsh but i have been in situations where people have not respected that I am not required to have sex with them. It's never come to rape, but it has come uncomfortabley close and well into the realm of sexual assault. I do not want that to happen again so I'm just making sure you understand that being your girlfriend does not mean sex every time you want it. We can be intimate and show we care for each other without sex, though sex will certainly be part of it. Kissing doesn't always have to lead to sex and there are always other options. Even just cuddling to show you care can be enough at some times. It's not all about sex. It shouldn't be all about sex. I can assure you sex will be part of our relationship but i"
for some reason it stopped there, i feel like there was more to the message but it didnt show up.
Im fucking pissed, here there's this girl trying to be controlling. First she said she wouldn't hang out with me if i was seeing other people. I thought she was cool enough to try a real relationship with so i did give it a try. In a way i think i resented her a little for trying to control me and not let me be with other girls but i agreed to continue it with her almost as a gift. She really liked me and i liked her too so it was cool. Now she's trying to the one with the authority and i hate it. I hate authority. I hate not having freedom. I hate bosses but i deal with them because i dont run my own business. And now i have to deal with her authority as well, i don't know if i can do this.
When i first read her message i wrote this, "Shit well i like my freedom so maybe this just wont work out." I saved it to drafts because i realized it was kinda crazy and i didnt want to regret it but after reading her message again i just got more pissed and went and hit send. She hasn't responded, im sure she's asleep but i don't think i could go back with her after that text even if i wanted to.
Could i please get some suggestions though for next time? What would u guys have done differently? I feel like thinking back to it now that i should have realized she was like this earlier in the relationship and not decided to go into it with her. She didnt kiss me until our third date, it was the 9th time i tried kissing her. Should have just known right there.
Or maybe do you guys think im blowing this way out of proportion?