First 90 Days Got "Dumped" by a girl i was dating quite early

[Prodigy]

Ola gents, I need some advice about the issue particularly if its salvageable or not. So i have been seeing choir girl from my journal for a while now i met her in late May and we genuinely hit it off i really liked her from the first time we met she was quite funny also like me lol.

We had our first meet in June before we left for our hometowns it was a walking meet and it was pretty nice and uhhm romantic ?lol anyway we had a makeout and we left for our homes.We were texting and calling a lot in June and late July and i invited her over immediately when we came back escalated quite well but when it came to me outing on a condom she just stopped me and i failed the escalation like that and a 2 hours later she left after i tried to re escalate.

I was bummed of course since failed escalations can be death but i talked to her after on whatsapp about the situation and she said she likes me a lot but she wants to know what i want from her and i fronted and said something casual but honestly i did like her so much i wouldnt really have minded dating her at the time so i lied about casual man and she shut off lol and almost ghosted me after but again i managed to get a meetup with her but it was like a week later from the failed escalation day due to busy schedules

we talk a bit i run it like an info date cause we only had like 40 mins to spare that day, its cool i deep dive,a little physical touch here and there we still have that romantic vibe cool we end it and few days after i invite her to my crib and she sleeps over this time.we cuddle and all that and she tells me all her concerns about how she thinks im just trying to accommodate her since she wants a relationship and i said i wanted something casual ,i tried to frame that sex is how to properly start a relationship and that i genuinely like her.

i escalate and she is super turned on but problem i go and get a condom and she changes her mind again brah and tells me how she doesn't want to do something she will regret and that she just had periods so we cant i try to push that period sex is cool but she refuses and we cuddle again and sleep again i wont lie throughout the night i was concerned that man this might be the last time i see her cause i fee like i had failed twice and she would not look at me the same as a man and i really like her gents,so in the morning right as we still cuddled

we were talking about something and she referred to me as her boyfriend and i didn't disagree with her statement cause well the escalation was fucked and i figured well agreeing to this would extend my chances and time (Again i would have loved to be her boyfriend anyway)we kiss and she leaves and checks up on me later

So the following week i was writing and she was running for student leadership and all that so we were busy and she asked for manifesto advice,i gave it to her since i was a student leader before who won these titles so yeah,i mean i did show off all my attractive qualities and she did admire me in a way for my leadership experience and she was also helping out with a business i run mainly with promotion and so yeah it was very cool gents i wont lie

okay she comes back to my place for the third time and i tell myself you know what even if i fuck raw it doesnt matter, i escalate and she tells me to put on a condom and im like yeah tonight is it.I had it in my pocket this time and put it got inside her first stroke she pushed me out a bit gently though and i got out. I kiss her again but the moment deflates and we ultimately stop but i give her a massage and she gets turned on again and i go doggy this time but idk what happened i couldnt get it in at all that pussy felt so tight bros like after trying she was joked about that beyonce song how its too big and too much and she was like lets just sleep and we did.

In the morning i make her some breakfast and she cleans my room entirely in the meantime,makes up the bed and all that. We go try again later in the afternoon 2 oclock i remember well and everything was going fine and i fucked her raw though cause i didn't want
to ruin the mood but she told me not to nut inside before , the thing is right i had never gone raw before and well i came inside her but after that she became so stressed ,so i told her that okay lets go and get some plan B,s and i paid for it and she took em

She said she was really angry at me but we were still cool and she was still referring me as her boyfriend (I thought i would get ghosted immediately after all that)as she once blocked me before after the whole casual intentions thing. We spoke after that day and she continued supporting my business and all that ,everything was fine but she told me the more she thinks about the situation the more she got angry at me and she told me all of her concerns as she won student leadership and a possible pregnancy might affect her future really badly and she told me she was crying and i didnt know how to properly handle that i just told her the facts about plan b and how we are basically safe but that didnt seem to help at all and she blocked me lol ,i called her and she unblocked me and told me she misses me.

She told me she was still angry at me.Okay a couple of days have gone by and we plan to meet but again schedules get mixed up and now she is taking some time to reply and i tell her its not cool that she took so much time because we do communicate if we gonna get busy instead of just just keeping quiet and i just get a message saying she is on her periods and there is no reason for me to talk to her now and that she is deleting my number and blocking me and that i must not even try to call her because she will block my number.

Its been 4 days since that happened and i have really done anything but get really busy with work and seeing other girls ,i was seeing other girls before she gave up the coochie but still gents i do like her so much and i do have a problem with conversion a bit as after i sleep witha girl for the first time i do end up not seeing them again due to various well msotly auto rejection of course bit thats a story for another day

So what im basically asking is can i salvage this situation ?and if i cant i do plan on going out and getting more women test weeks are over and i do have more free time to do that but i do feel like she really did like me and it would not just go up in the air easily like that , i would appreciate all yall advice gents.

 

[S.S Can]

tricky situation, any number of things could've caused her to go haywire. she likely is coming to terms with the fact that you aren't actually her boyfriend even though she's been claiming it, and your attainability went to low so she just completely shut off as a form of auto-rejection. when you see her be warm and welcoming, but besides that I don't know what else can be done.

 

[POB]

1st: own your shit. You messed up a number of times with this one. I'm still baffled you managed to fuck her after so much wrongs from your part (she must really like you, or have self-steem issues).

2nd: apologize like a man. Tell her that you are sorry you cummed inside, but that you felt so good in the moment that you could not help yourself. Say that you care about her and her well-being, and that it won't ever happen again, because from now on you guys will always wear it.

3rd: Say that you like her, but that it's still too early for you guys to commit. Just let her know you would love to keep seeing her, but that you won't put any pressure for you guys to be a serious chapter before the time is right.

 

[Prodigy]

1st: own your shit. You messed up a number of times with this one. I'm still baffled you managed to fuck her after so much wrongs from your part (she must really like you, or have self-steem issues).

2nd: apologize like a man. Tell her that you are sorry you cummed inside, but that you felt so good in the moment that you could not help yourself. Say that you care about her and her well-being, and that it won't ever happen again, because from now on you guys will always wear it.

3rd: Say that you like her, but that it's still too early for you guys to commit. Just let her know you would love to keep seeing her, but that you won't put any pressure for you guys to be a serious chapter before the time is right.

Hello uncle @POB thank you for your reply , for number
1.Yeah she really really liked me and I felt the same about her honestly,great girl brilliant in everything just like me,eg student leadership,a great student who passes with high marks ,funny and witty I could list a whole lot but I don't think she was low self esteem
(may you please elaborate more on the mistakes ?)
2. I immediately when she took the pill and she got home ,I texted and I apologized and took responsibility,we talked about the worst case scenarios and how we gonna handle it ,I didn't waste anytime at all.

3.I did tell her that I do genuinely like her multiple times because I really do big dawg but she never fully believed me although besides the whole casual texts ,I believe I had been a good eh partner to her honestly and we had good times anytime when we were together and those good times were mostly because of me for real though.

 

[POB]

Hello uncle @POB thank you for your reply , for number

Dont call me uncle or I'm gonna grab you by the ankles and shake you upside down dog, lol

1.Yeah she really really liked me and I felt the same about her honestly,great girl brilliant in everything just like me,eg student leadership,a great student who passes with high marks ,funny and witty I could list a whole lot but I don't think she was low self esteem
(may you please elaborate more on the mistakes ?)

Nice. So she likes you.
Mistakes:

A) 2 hours in isolation and no sex is just bad, it's framing you as provider (my guess is you gave her that vibe from the get go).

escalated quite well but when it came to me outing on a condom she just stopped me and i failed the escalation like that and a 2 hours later she left after i tried to re escalate

B) mixed signals, no wonder she was giving you a hard time

i fronted and said something casual but honestly i did like her so much i wouldnt really have minded dating her at the time so i lied about casual man and she shut off

C) again mixed signals, youre telling her casual, but doing BF shit

i run it like an info date cause we only had like 40 mins to spare that day, its cool i deep dive,a little physical touch here and there we still have that romantic vibe cool we end it and few days after i invite her to my crib and she sleeps over this time.we cuddle and all

D) This part is actually good, but again, mixed signals

that and she tells me all her concerns about how she thinks im just trying to accommodate her since she wants a relationship and i said i wanted something casual ,i tried to frame that sex is how to properly start a relationship and that i genuinely like her

2. I immediately when she took the pill and she got home ,I texted and I apologized and took responsibility,we talked about the worst case scenarios and how we gonna handle it ,I didn't waste anytime at all.

Nice. You also can have those pills at your place for comfort, they cost nothing.

3.I did tell her that I do genuinely like her multiple times because I really do big dawg but she never fully believed me although besides the whole casual texts ,I believe I had been a good eh partner to her honestly and we had good times anytime when we were together and those good times were mostly because of me for real though.

No, you havent been a good partner because again, giving her mixed signals.
Some of your actions tell her you want to commit, next minute your words tell her you don't...it's really confusing for her.

Remember: you gotta have the same consistent frame that you must keep FOR ALL YOUR INTERACTIONS with her (even texting).

 

[Prodigy]

Dont call me uncle or I'm gonna grab you by the ankles and shake you upside down dog, lol

Nice. So she likes you.
Mistakes:

A) 2 hours in isolation and no sex is just bad, it's framing you as provider (my guess is you gave her that vibe from the get go).


B) mixed signals, no wonder she was giving you a hard time


C) again mixed signals, youre telling her casual, but doing BF shit


D) This part is actually good, but again, mixed signals



Nice. You also can have those pills at your place for comfort, they cost nothing.


No, you havent been a good partner because again, giving her mixed signals.
Some of your actions tell her you want to commit, next minute your words tell her you don't...it's really confusing for her.

Remember: you gotta have the same consistent frame that you must keep FOR ALL YOUR INTERACTIONS with her (even texting).

Thank you again for you reply i understand the major issue now and i will do better with huns in the future for sure. i called you uncle cause you almost the same age as my father lol.

A.First time she came to my crib which was very speedy and it was our second date technically,and she gave me escalation windows e,g my back hurts while we were watching a movie like 10 mins in it after i gave her a massage everywhere i just escalated and it lead to the situation you highlighted and oh she was very receptive it was going great ,in fact she was even helping me in removing my clothes lol its just when i pulled out a condom after some foreplay i was following a gentleman esque escalation as i had problems of rushing in the past so when she stopped me i backed of in a calm manner and she gave me my clothes back lol and said lets continue to watch a movie and when it ended ,thats when i re escalated.

and after when she arrived home she communicated and told me what was going through her head and said she wants to understand what she is putting herself into and that's when i folded with frames.

Yeah i get you Big dawg great advice i could have definitely done better. besides the issue of near pregnancy everything was fine to be honest ,and i did like her as she genuinely supported a homie in business and academics and i did the same for her,things were almost perfect, she did show me she wanted to be a good girlfriend though i will say, yeah and after the incident she did show love even though she was still angry a bit towards me and i tried to calm her worries with them scientific facts about the pill but honestly they didnt help much ,i was genuinely concerned about her and her wellbeing maybe i didnt express that well.

Anyway i dont want this to be like that long ass heartbreak thread lol, so right i have been talking to other girls to prevent me from spiralling and doing needy stuff cause for some reasons it happens a lot when homies are heartbroken or trying to get girls back so i got that covered.

but in at the same time what can i do in regards to her situation i mean i do still like her ?and yeah if it ultimately does not work out , it will work out with another chick thats for sure .Otherwise thanks again POB for the advice

 

[Prodigy]

tricky situation, any number of things could've caused her to go haywire. she likely is coming to terms with the fact that you aren't actually her boyfriend even though she's been claiming it, and your attainability went to low so she just completely shut off as a form of auto-rejection. when you see her be warm and welcoming, but besides that I don't know what else can be done.

Thank my Dawg,I genuinely appreciate your advice and your ear that's why you my buddy.

 

[S.S Can]

i called you uncle cause you almost the same age as my father lol.

you're gonna put POB into auto-rejection

 

[Will_V]

Ola gents, I need some advice about the issue particularly if its salvageable or not. So i have been seeing choir girl from my journal for a while now i met her in late May and we genuinely hit it off i really liked her from the first time we met she was quite funny also like me lol.

We had our first meet in June before we left for our hometowns it was a walking meet and it was pretty nice and uhhm romantic ?lol anyway we had a makeout and we left for our homes.We were texting and calling a lot in June and late July and i invited her over immediately when we came back escalated quite well but when it came to me outing on a condom she just stopped me and i failed the escalation like that and a 2 hours later she left after i tried to re escalate.

I was bummed of course since failed escalations can be death but i talked to her after on whatsapp about the situation and she said she likes me a lot but she wants to know what i want from her and i fronted and said something casual but honestly i did like her so much i wouldnt really have minded dating her at the time so i lied about casual man and she shut off lol and almost ghosted me after but again i managed to get a meetup with her but it was like a week later from the failed escalation day due to busy schedules

we talk a bit i run it like an info date cause we only had like 40 mins to spare that day, its cool i deep dive,a little physical touch here and there we still have that romantic vibe cool we end it and few days after i invite her to my crib and she sleeps over this time.we cuddle and all that and she tells me all her concerns about how she thinks im just trying to accommodate her since she wants a relationship and i said i wanted something casual ,i tried to frame that sex is how to properly start a relationship and that i genuinely like her.

i escalate and she is super turned on but problem i go and get a condom and she changes her mind again brah and tells me how she doesn't want to do something she will regret and that she just had periods so we cant i try to push that period sex is cool but she refuses and we cuddle again and sleep again i wont lie throughout the night i was concerned that man this might be the last time i see her cause i fee like i had failed twice and she would not look at me the same as a man and i really like her gents,so in the morning right as we still cuddled

we were talking about something and she referred to me as her boyfriend and i didn't disagree with her statement cause well the escalation was fucked and i figured well agreeing to this would extend my chances and time (Again i would have loved to be her boyfriend anyway)we kiss and she leaves and checks up on me later

So the following week i was writing and she was running for student leadership and all that so we were busy and she asked for manifesto advice,i gave it to her since i was a student leader before who won these titles so yeah,i mean i did show off all my attractive qualities and she did admire me in a way for my leadership experience and she was also helping out with a business i run mainly with promotion and so yeah it was very cool gents i wont lie

okay she comes back to my place for the third time and i tell myself you know what even if i fuck raw it doesnt matter, i escalate and she tells me to put on a condom and im like yeah tonight is it.I had it in my pocket this time and put it got inside her first stroke she pushed me out a bit gently though and i got out. I kiss her again but the moment deflates and we ultimately stop but i give her a massage and she gets turned on again and i go doggy this time but idk what happened i couldnt get it in at all that pussy felt so tight bros like after trying she was joked about that beyonce song how its too big and too much and she was like lets just sleep and we did.

In the morning i make her some breakfast and she cleans my room entirely in the meantime,makes up the bed and all that. We go try again later in the afternoon 2 oclock i remember well and everything was going fine and i fucked her raw though cause i didn't want
to ruin the mood but she told me not to nut inside before , the thing is right i had never gone raw before and well i came inside her but after that she became so stressed ,so i told her that okay lets go and get some plan B,s and i paid for it and she took em

She said she was really angry at me but we were still cool and she was still referring me as her boyfriend (I thought i would get ghosted immediately after all that)as she once blocked me before after the whole casual intentions thing. We spoke after that day and she continued supporting my business and all that ,everything was fine but she told me the more she thinks about the situation the more she got angry at me and she told me all of her concerns as she won student leadership and a possible pregnancy might affect her future really badly and she told me she was crying and i didnt know how to properly handle that i just told her the facts about plan b and how we are basically safe but that didnt seem to help at all and she blocked me lol ,i called her and she unblocked me and told me she misses me.

She told me she was still angry at me.Okay a couple of days have gone by and we plan to meet but again schedules get mixed up and now she is taking some time to reply and i tell her its not cool that she took so much time because we do communicate if we gonna get busy instead of just just keeping quiet and i just get a message saying she is on her periods and there is no reason for me to talk to her now and that she is deleting my number and blocking me and that i must not even try to call her because she will block my number.

Its been 4 days since that happened and i have really done anything but get really busy with work and seeing other girls ,i was seeing other girls before she gave up the coochie but still gents i do like her so much and i do have a problem with conversion a bit as after i sleep witha girl for the first time i do end up not seeing them again due to various well msotly auto rejection of course bit thats a story for another day

So what im basically asking is can i salvage this situation ?and if i cant i do plan on going out and getting more women test weeks are over and i do have more free time to do that but i do feel like she really did like me and it would not just go up in the air easily like that , i would appreciate all yall advice gents.

POB already gave you solid feedback, all I'll add is that it's usually a bad idea to tell a girl straight out that you just want something casual. It's just one of those things that is too blunt to say outright even when she knows. Better to say something like: "I like to live life and see where things go" and make sure you generally disqualify yourself. That said she likely accepted the casual nature of the relationship (or she'd not have blown up about you blowing up inside).

Showing understanding and building comfort (without losing the lover frame) is definitely the right move here, she's clearly very upset and worried and feels that blocking you is the only way to safeguard herself.

 

[Prodigy]

POB already gave you solid feedback, all I'll add is that it's usually a bad idea to tell a girl straight out that you just want something casual. It's just one of those things that is too blunt to say outright even when she knows. Better to say something like: "I like to live life and see where things go" and make sure you generally disqualify yourself. That said she likely accepted the casual nature of the relationship (or she'd not have blown up about you blowing up inside).

Showing understanding and building comfort (without losing the lover frame) is definitely the right move here, she's clearly very upset and worried and feels that blocking you is the only way to safeguard herself.

Hello will thanks for the reply ,I noticed that too but how can I do those things if I'm blocked , otherwise I know I wouldn't just deliberately trample over hun who genuinely likes me.

 

[POB]

you're gonna put POB into auto-rejection

Thank you again for you reply i understand the major issue now and i will do better with huns in the future for sure. i called you uncle cause you almost the same age as my father lol.

Aaand he is calling me old (facepalm)

A.First time she came to my crib which was very speedy and it was our second date technically,and she gave me escalation windows e,g my back hurts while we were watching a movie like 10 mins in it after i gave her a massage everywhere i just escalated and it lead to the situation you highlighted and oh she was very receptive it was going great ,in fact she was even helping me in removing my clothes lol its just when i pulled out a condom after some foreplay i was following a gentleman esque escalation as i had problems of rushing in the past so when she stopped me i backed of in a calm manner and she gave me my clothes back lol and said lets continue to watch a movie and when it ended ,thats when i re escalated.

Push and pull.
Need to use it ASAP.
@Skills and some other guys have a bunch of guides on how to do it properly.
Search the forum.

and after when she arrived home she communicated and told me what was going through her head and said she wants to understand what she is putting herself into and that's when i folded with frames.

Indeed you messed up.
Basically you gave her asd by not leading her to sex.
If they fuck and you treat them right, they feel at ease because they "got you".
If you dont fuck them, they start to think, reevaluate and fantasize about the whole situation...which is a recipe for disaster.

i tried to calm her worries with them scientific facts about the pill but honestly they didnt help much ,i was genuinely concerned about her and her wellbeing maybe i didnt express that well.

NEVER use logic with women, especially in stressfull situations.
You shoud've used emotions.....like:
"yeah, my bad, I just got caught in the moment and forgot about consequences....but imagine for a minute how cute our kids would be!"

Anyway i dont want this to be like that long ass heartbreak thread lol, so right i have been talking to other girls to prevent me from spiralling and doing needy stuff cause for some reasons it happens a lot when homies are heartbroken or trying to get girls back so i got that covered.

Good, but don't supress the things you feel for her.
Just don't mess up again now that you have the knowledge.

but in at the same time what can i do in regards to her situation i mean i do still like her ?and yeah if it ultimately does not work out , it will work out with another chick thats for sure .Otherwise thanks again POB for the advice

Keep seeing her.
Treat her well, but don't make any promises.
Keep it vague but fun.

 

[Skills]

condom issues, and cumming inside, and prego scares just put women into a bit of auto rejection... Even when you do things right, it just bring chaos, stress and negative emotions and negative associations.... Specially early pre the 3 fucks lock in...

I lost women were the condom fell inside etc..

 

[Prodigy]

Aaand he is calling me old (facepalm)

Push and pull.
Need to use it ASAP.
@Skills and some other guys have a bunch of guides on how to do it properly.
Search the forum.

Indeed you messed up.
Basically you gave her asd by not leading her to sex.
If they fuck and you treat them right, they feel at ease because they "got you".
If you dont fuck them, they start to think, reevaluate and fantasize about the whole situation...which is a recipe for disaster.

NEVER use logic with women, especially in stressfull situations.
You shoud've used emotions.....like:
"yeah, my bad, I just got caught in the moment and forgot about consequences....but imagine for a minute how cute our kids would be!"

Good, but don't supress the things you feel for her.
Just don't mess up again now that you have the knowledge.

Keep seeing her.
Treat her well, but don't make any promises.
Keep it vague but fun.

Thank you i was just joking POB ,We did joke about it after it happened anyway let me not stay there ,now for plan of action let me see my options are to send an sms text in fact thats my only option ,currently.

 

[Prodigy]

condom issues, and cumming inside, and prego scares just put women into a bit of auto rejection... Even when you do things right, it just bring chaos, stress and negative emotions and negative associations.... Specially early pre the 3 fucks lock in...

I lost women were the condom fell inside etc..

I understand Skills ,you win some and you lose some i guess.