- Joined
- Jan 12, 2020
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- 601
Maybe this post sounds kinda stupid , but the truth is that I feel this is like an intersection on how I will see women going forward .
basically I was browsing through tinder and at some point I see my ex there ( she was with a nice guy for 6 years after we broke up and even making wedding plans with him ) and sent her a message on social media “ saw you on tinder but swiped left haha “ .
We started talking for a bit and then told her that I have not seen her in ages and would be great to catch up over a coffee sometimes .
her reply was that she will let me know and after like 10 minutes ( did not said anything ) she added that she is going through the motion and there are a lot of things to talk about and she will let me know when she is ready .
I told her to do what she has to do ( I guess she broke up and called off the wedding so I understood that she might be super emotional ) as I am quite busy myself And that we should talk In 2-3 weeks to see how both of us have their schedule , and also added that she should not worry more than necessary as thing will plan out on their own .
now , this is the longest relationship I ever had( 4 years ) and is also the nicest girl ( soul wise ) I ever met . She is quite good looking , but I met better looking girls than her . Every other girl that I met in my mind I was comparing to her , because frankly spending time with her was great , plus she was quite rational and almost drama free . We never had a fight , usually she would just go cold , calm down and come back to me and telling me what she did not like , etc .
we broke up because well , we were quite young ( 23 years old both of us ) and I was super focused on my career and wanted to work a couple of years abroad and she did not wanted this , so thing got colder between us till we broke up officially . Soon after I started my new job in a foreign country
my problem now is this one , I noticed a lot of male attention on her fb ( I guess this are the tinder guys ) and right now I am thinking that what she said about not being able to go out for a coffee with me because she is going through the motions is kinda bullshit . I mean , if you would really go through the motion you would not look for attention on tinder , especially since the guy who she broke up with is a nice guy ( I guess she got bored of him ) , but telling me that you do not want to grab a coffee in the afternoon just yet .
now coming back to my issue , for me a girl that I really considered a model for all the girls in my life , playing this kind of Shit with me kinda fucks up my bubble , and I am just scared that after this I will just start seeing things very transactional and like a machine when dealing with women , and to be frank this kinda scares me
i also want to mention that we stayed in touch , like wishing each other happy birthday ( even though I Hidden my birthday , so she remembered it ) and some small talk after . So it is not like we did not stayed in touch for the last 6 years .
what would you guys do instead of me ?
1 . would game her and burst the bubble and then feeling that all hope in finding love is gone ?
2.Just would not do anything and preserve the the hope You still have , even though this means that most likely you will not see her ever again .
I am quite between this 2 options myself , but in the same time I do not see things objectively and this is why it would be great a couple of independent thoughts
basically I was browsing through tinder and at some point I see my ex there ( she was with a nice guy for 6 years after we broke up and even making wedding plans with him ) and sent her a message on social media “ saw you on tinder but swiped left haha “ .
We started talking for a bit and then told her that I have not seen her in ages and would be great to catch up over a coffee sometimes .
her reply was that she will let me know and after like 10 minutes ( did not said anything ) she added that she is going through the motion and there are a lot of things to talk about and she will let me know when she is ready .
I told her to do what she has to do ( I guess she broke up and called off the wedding so I understood that she might be super emotional ) as I am quite busy myself And that we should talk In 2-3 weeks to see how both of us have their schedule , and also added that she should not worry more than necessary as thing will plan out on their own .
now , this is the longest relationship I ever had( 4 years ) and is also the nicest girl ( soul wise ) I ever met . She is quite good looking , but I met better looking girls than her . Every other girl that I met in my mind I was comparing to her , because frankly spending time with her was great , plus she was quite rational and almost drama free . We never had a fight , usually she would just go cold , calm down and come back to me and telling me what she did not like , etc .
we broke up because well , we were quite young ( 23 years old both of us ) and I was super focused on my career and wanted to work a couple of years abroad and she did not wanted this , so thing got colder between us till we broke up officially . Soon after I started my new job in a foreign country
my problem now is this one , I noticed a lot of male attention on her fb ( I guess this are the tinder guys ) and right now I am thinking that what she said about not being able to go out for a coffee with me because she is going through the motions is kinda bullshit . I mean , if you would really go through the motion you would not look for attention on tinder , especially since the guy who she broke up with is a nice guy ( I guess she got bored of him ) , but telling me that you do not want to grab a coffee in the afternoon just yet .
now coming back to my issue , for me a girl that I really considered a model for all the girls in my life , playing this kind of Shit with me kinda fucks up my bubble , and I am just scared that after this I will just start seeing things very transactional and like a machine when dealing with women , and to be frank this kinda scares me
i also want to mention that we stayed in touch , like wishing each other happy birthday ( even though I Hidden my birthday , so she remembered it ) and some small talk after . So it is not like we did not stayed in touch for the last 6 years .
what would you guys do instead of me ?
1 . would game her and burst the bubble and then feeling that all hope in finding love is gone ?
2.Just would not do anything and preserve the the hope You still have , even though this means that most likely you will not see her ever again .
I am quite between this 2 options myself , but in the same time I do not see things objectively and this is why it would be great a couple of independent thoughts
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