Break Ups Got suddenly dumped by an one year LTR girl with depression

[Skills]

Yeah... Seems that she has disengaged emotionally pretty quickly after break up, or as others said she started to disengage quiet a bit much earlier on, and was oscillating last few weeks until something triggered her.

yes you get it finally! yes.... women don't just break up, they REACH breaking point...

 

[Skills]

He had everything he needed in what I gave. If he followed through then there was nothing else he could have done.

I used to think that, but I’ve been in the same scenario many times now and done what I gave to OP.

If she’s depressed crying in her room etc post breakup (even if shes the one who did it), you reaching out with warmth without chasing is a branch that they’re willing to jump on. Even if she doesn’t immediately accept she will reach out trying to backpeddle if she was really emotionally invested in you and feeling that.

brah! did you actually read the op completely, he did that, right away with the letter facepalm (yes agree i told him to do that)... he did that.. brah


lol she is not depress in her room crying, she didn't give a shit post breaking point...

Brah you are not op, i call you my son for a reason

you are a seducer that is proficient...

op is not a proficient seducer

he is not you or me jesus christ! That girls is celebrating breaking up with this dude...

 

[HeartOfChaos]

And he wouldn’t have been able to do no contact the right way, because emotionally he didn’t have enough closure to go through with it without thinking about her(he hadn’t done enough).

I think that was the main motivation for me contacting her now....Emotionally I felt I didn't do "enough"

 

[HeartOfChaos]

lol she is not depress in her room crying, she didn't give a shit post breaking point...

Tbh in hindsight that's what I felt like as well...

It's as if they stop "feeling it" for the guy from that point...

It actually reminded me of another break up I had like a decade ago, it was different circumstances really, but the "warning signals" a few weeks before break up then rapid emotional detachment from day of break up are very similar

 

[Skills]

I think that was the main motivation for me contacting her now....Emotionally I felt I didn't do "enough"

brah u already had done that with the letter... tell me exactly what did you accomplish now contacting her?

 

[Skills]

Tbh in hindsight that's what I felt like as well...

brah!

 

[HeartOfChaos]

brah u already had done that with the letter... tell me exactly what did you accomplish now contacting her?

Accomplished fuck all except reminding myself again of how women can rapidly go from hot to cold, I guess

 

[Will_V]

Tbh in hindsight that's what I felt like as well...

It's as if they stop "feeling it" for the guy from that point...

It actually reminded me of another break up I had like a decade ago, it was different circumstances really, but the "warning signals" a few weeks before break up then rapid emotional detachment from day of break up are very similar

I've seen this happen when a girl feels like you did something very wrong or that something fundamental is gone, despite her feelings for you her reaction to that thing overwhelms everything else, and she gets kind of cold and certain and inaccessible, even though she may feel miserable.

It's a kind of release of an illusion, where her ability to cover up the problem simply cannot deal with the point it has reached, and she ends up destroying the illusion proactively to free herself of it.

Good leadership has a lot to do with reading signals and knowing how close she is to her red line, and releasing pressure even when she is still complying, before it gets too late.

 

[Rakehell]

he is not you or me jesus christ! That girls is celebrating breaking up with this dude...

Then why are we trying to get her back with him?

From what I read she was invested during the relationship, until it flamed out and she rage quit when he wasn't meeting her needs due to the constant misunderstandings.

To me thats someone who wanted something they felt like they couldn't get, and had a temper tantrum. And the stuff she said about not liking him was an extension of that.

OP has skill, hes at nearly 100 lays!

If she’s throwing a party after the breakup then let her kick rocks @HeartOfChaos. If you were the one who was much more invested in the relationship throughout, then there really is no point in trying to get her back.

That feeling after breaking up with someone you were invested in is rough, but if she’s not feeling that times 100, then you’ve really gotta prioritize.

Not because it’s impossible, but why would you want to? Much easier to start fresh than try to flip that dynamic once you all are back together.

brah! did you actually read the op completely, he did that, right away with the letter facepalm (yes agree i told him to do that)... he did that.. brah

Yeah and her response to that signaled he was in the danger zone, she should’ve reached out again by now.

Pinging again in a calibrated way would facilitate the letter and push her over the edge if she was contemplating reaching out.

Waiting months to potentially date her again, whiles he’s wanting to date her exclusively and claiming he loves her is insane, either she comes back now, or is a fb after that much time apart. She’d be coming back for the wrong reasons.

She has too much baggage to settle for something like that.

 

[HeartOfChaos]

OP has skill, hes at nearly 100 lays!

More like around 70 or so, and maybe 4-5 LTRs that lasted between several months and 2-3 years... But most of my "game" was simply zooming into "yes" girls through a very large number of very direct daygame approaches and also huge number of swipes on dating apps again screening for dtf girls. Never did I convert a "maybe" girl.

I mean I have certain skill level in escalation and spotting dtf signals quickly, and capitalising on them when needed. I wouldn't say much else... In terms of longer term relationship management, I'd say I am piss poor as you can infer from this thread

If she’s throwing a party after the breakup then let her kick rocks @HeartOfChaos. If you were the one who was much more invested in the relationship throughout, then there really is no point in trying to get her back.

I think Skills is saying that she went through the withdrawal stages already before the break up... The break up was the catharsis point.

There's also a simple fact about her personality that she can be very impatient and gives up very easily with everything...But I gotta say she did follow my lead well throughout (in all activities I took her too, like nature trips etc that she doesn't usually do herself, yoga, etc)... Submissive personality, gives up on everything when I am not there to guide her.

It doesn't matter now anyway, since the window of opportunity closed and she seems to have moved on. It certainly is the case she wasn't clear about the relationship terms, she made some attempts to elucidate them months ago but I fumbled and did not give a clear answer till too late.

Maybe for the best. After all, the doubt in my mind about LTR with her existed from day 1 that she has mental health problems. As soon as I found out the first night I was with her about her depression, my first thought was "get out of this"...But then I really liked her and grew attached. She was the first girl in 3-4 years of approaching that I could feel a genuine connection with on some internal level.

Summer last year before her I was reaching some sorta desperation level: doing hundreds upon hundreds of approaches, swiping on so many profiles and yet getting nothing at all in terms of a real connection (and only several lays). Facing the prospect of spending yet another winter alone was the last thing I wanted.

And now having to face this prospect all over again is just demoralising.

 

[Skills]

Then why are we trying to get her back with him?

We????? not me i have a post specifically saying how getting back with exes is retarded....

Exes - Is my view of getting back with exes wrong???

I was helping a dude that just went though a break up, and he is a mess which of course is normal, he is depress which is normal, he is sad (normal), he does not want to game (normal).... After being with his girl and breaking up now he is regretting and wants to get back with the girl again...

www.skilledseducer.com

From what I read she was invested during the relationship, until it flamed out and she rage quit when he wasn't meeting her needs due to the constant misunderstandings.

nah she reached breaking point i just made a post explaining the whole thing based on op...

To me thats someone who wanted something they felt like they couldn't get, and had a temper tantrum. And the stuff she said about not liking him was an extension of that.

Of course accumulation of things they want that were not met is why women break up...

OP has skill, hes at nearly 100 lays!

getting laid is not equal to relationship skills....

If she’s throwing a party after the breakup then let her kick rocks @HeartOfChaos. If you were the one who was much more invested in the relationship throughout, then there really is no point in trying to get her back.

lol brah! then why are you and the rest of the forum trying to that ^ lol.... even chase made an article ... and you encourage to contact cause of "autism" and you "were in that situation" and i am losing my mind, this dude break up and the block of forum advice has made my dealing with velasco none sense for 5 years look like a relaxation retreat...

That feeling after breaking up with someone you were invested in is rough, but if she’s not feeling that times 100, then you’ve really gotta prioritize.

Not because it’s impossible, but why would you want to? Much easier to start fresh than try to flip that dynamic once you all are back together.

correct

Yeah and her response to that signaled he was in the danger zone, she should’ve reached out again by now.

Pinging again in a calibrated way would facilitate the letter and push her over the edge if she was contemplating reaching out.

Waiting months to potentially date her again, whiles he’s wanting to date her exclusively and claiming he loves her is insane, either she comes back now, or is a fb after that much time apart. She’d be coming back for the wrong reasons.

She has too much baggage to settle for something like that.

correct....lol!

So here is what happened:

- dude did not give her progression and other issues... Even if those other issues we find silly, is what she finds important, progression, meeting friends, meeting family, same religion, etc....

- she indirectly brought it up through the relationship

- it was not address...

- she started checking out (here is were he should have fix relationship issues)

- she checked out and broke up

- op tried, she rejected ( and i did not know this), he attempted couple of more times she rejected

- he came to the forum and wrote the post:

^ me and spike explain "brah she reached breaking point" and it was cause you treated her like an fb (even if he did not think so, she thought so and the things important to her were not addressed)

- I told him to cut contact and told her she will ping (but my goal was for him to cut contact and move on all along anyways) her pinging after no contact is a byproduct of a dude moving on...But before that i told him to do a ball on your court letter (just to make the dude feel better cause he wanted to leave door open)

- he send a ball in your court "letter" saying he wants to be together and work it out, but he understand, and that he will let her go if that what she wants and hope her happiness....

whole forum came in and was giving "get back advice including you"

- the genius ping the fucking girl which is the dumbest shit he could have done... and here we are... now he has to re- live the pain from the break up AGAIN and start from 0 AGAIN...

^all that shit i explain in the post, forum, video on break up.... and op made me do another post

Break Ups - Dynamics on pre Getting dump and more importantly how to avoid it... Pre break up dynamics

The title is misleading cause no relationships last forever, they will all end, including your great grandpas (one of them will die first factual) Before we start I have done posts on how to enter a relationship right and a really good one by the rev. on my blog on what to look for a...

www.skilledseducer.com

lol this from ^

Here is what happens post breaking point using seduction, sales, tactics, dark seduction etc.... NOTHING! is not going to work but you can go ahead and field test, she knows what you are doing and it won't work, you can even fuck a girl in front of her, and that will make her happy, she is trying to rid of you, she is over you...

well i guess he field tested at least...

 

[HeartOfChaos]

- the genius ping the fucking girl which is the dumbest shit he could have done... and here we are... now he has to re- live the pain from the break up AGAIN and start from 0 AGAIN...

Yeah, it hurts. The only time I had a similar break up was actually my first time LTR girl, like 12 years ago...And it took me a year to get over her, when I ended up meeting another new LTR...

And that first LTR break up was easier as I was less invested and spent less time with the girl...

So the pain I am going through is first time in well over a decade and it's harder for all sorts of reasons

 

[KJ Francis]

most of my "game" was simply zooming into "yes" girls through a very large number of very direct daygame approaches and also huge number of swipes on dating apps again screening for dtf girls. Never did I convert a "maybe" gir

It doesn't matter now anyway, since the window of opportunity closed and she seems to have moved on

After all, the doubt in my mind about LTR with her existed from day 1 that she has mental health problems. As soon as I found out the first night I was with her about her depression, my first thought was "get out of this"...But then I really liked her and grew attached. She was the first girl in 3-4 years of approaching that I could feel a genuine connection with on some internal level.

Obviously the lack of progression had an impact, but it is a moot point when you accepted a red flag you did not want to due to scarcity.

If you were running super direct, low ratio game... You may have met a lot of girls you could have had better chemistry with but you never got to the point of finding out with them.

Can you post you day game process in as much detail as possible, perhaps as a new thread? There are a lot of guys here that could help you refine it.

 

[Skills]

Yeah, it hurts. The only time I had a similar break up was actually my first time LTR girl, like 12 years ago...And it took me a year to get over her, when I ended up meeting another new LTR...

And that first LTR break up was easier as I was less invested and spent less time with the girl...

So the pain I am going through is first time in well over a decade and it's harder for all sorts of reasons

Super painful, worst pain ever .. many dudes even end it due to the pain...and when you contact and she responded give u hope and illusion, temporary happiness and fantasy of being reunited... Which is an illusion... To then re live the suffering...

With no contact done correctly 3 outcomes 100 percent guaranteed:

- you move on and she pings wanting back and breaking point is destroyed reset new start...at this point you try back

-you move on and she pings back and you say... Nah thank you, i am good

- you move on and she never pings back

After so many breaks up... I know eventually I will find someone better for me and she will find someone better for her...

Break ups are normal part of life.. and necessary for growth...