Having Trouble With Daygame

[Regal Tiger]

Results weren't any different from before, dead numbers except one girl who was kinda pushed onto me and I'm not super interested. Honestly I get better from online

So I decided to try and change up my vibe. I usually go with a more natural playful, happy vibe. I believe similar to Hector

But today I tried to go for a more sexual one. Not even a single conversation. Blown out from the opener, even from a girl who gave me a big smile before the approach

Walked around today after work until my feet started bleeding as much as my ego

I cannot put into words how frustrating this is



Stat wise I'm around 0/17-20-ish right now with only one in progress this week. That I'm not at all excited about. She's ok and seems nice but you get it

This fucking sucks

 

[topcat]

0/17-20

That’s actually not much, grand scheme of things considered. I get it, it’s frustrating especially coming from online. But i suggest you do your best to exercise restraint emotionally. Put in 100, in your usual style before you start analyzing and tweaking. At that point you’ll have a clearer picture.

I’d consider the first 100 duds while you get a feel for the terrain. Best to get those out the way asap.

 

[Regal Tiger]

Put in 100

That was last September - October lol. These are new stats from the past week


After eating a frozen pizza and a dozen donuts I feel a little better (will probably have the shits tomorrow but whatever, feel better now) . Watching some videos to see if I can pick anything up. Was kind of going after a James Marshall style, but noticed right away that he usually has a chipper and friendly hi there before going back to his normal energy


Probably won't do it tomorrow or this week because my feet are still killing me and I'm going away on another week long work trip after. But I guess I'll keep slamming my head against this dumbass fucking wall


And I will continue to bitch and whine while I do it

 

[Regal Tiger]

@topcat also don't mean to come off like a dick, I am partially venting but I'm also genuinely trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing wrong

So I do appreciate feedback

 

[ulrich]

@topcat also don't mean to come off like a dick, I am partially venting but I'm also genuinely trying to figure out what the heck I'm doing wrong

So I do appreciate feedback

Have you watched Austen Summers channel in YouTube?
His “I’m just having fun” style really helped me nail down daygame vibe. It’s something that can’t be explained over text.

There’s this video where he is sarging in Comic-con or something and you can see how he is just fucking around for the LOLs and girls just love it.

 

[Regal Tiger]

Have you watched Austen Summers channel in YouTube?
His “I’m just having fun” style really helped me nail down daygame vibe. It’s something that can’t be explained over text.

There’s this video where he is sarging in Comic-con or something and you can see how he is just fucking around for the LOLs and girls just love it.

I haven't but I will look at it for sure, thanks!

 

[fog]

hey regal! here's one of my thoughts about how you could pick up some more momentum here....

ive found state to be extremely important for daygame consistency. any sort of deviation from this state i put myself in for guaranteeing receptivity when i approach chicks, will have an impact on how they respond to me; and when i cannot achieve this state, i need to adjust my preapproach and opener so that its more in line with my current state.

for example, at high micro momentum, where i am feeling on top of the world, dominant, and sexually aggressive.... i can walk directly up to girls of my target quality, stand in front of her, deliver my opener, and she will eat it up. but when im feeling nothing at all, and less confident, i get blown out right away doing this. in fact, girls look at me weird, like "why is he here?". so i know that when im in this poor state, i need to adjust a bit to start getting the positive reactions i need to build my state back up. ill make my approach seem more incidental, open more situational...

how are you preopening and opening? you mentioned that a girl gave you a big smile before you approached, but then she blew you out. this is indicative to me of a state and preapproach issue.

 

[Regal Tiger]

hey regal! here's one of my thoughts about how you could pick up some more momentum here....

ive found state to be extremely important for daygame consistency. any sort of deviation from this state i put myself in for guaranteeing receptivity when i approach chicks, will have an impact on how they respond to me; and when i cannot achieve this state, i need to adjust my preapproach and opener so that its more in line with my current state.

for example, at high micro momentum, where i am feeling on top of the world, dominant, and sexually aggressive.... i can walk directly up to girls of my target quality, stand in front of her, deliver my opener, and she will eat it up. but when im feeling nothing at all, and less confident, i get blown out right away doing this. in fact, girls look at me weird, like "why is he here?". so i know that when im in this poor state, i need to adjust a bit to start getting the positive reactions i need to build my state back up. ill make my approach seem more incidental, open more situational...

how are you preopening and opening? you mentioned that a girl gave you a big smile before you approached, but then she blew you out. this is indicative to me of a state and preapproach issue.

Since it's mostly at a park (the only place I have personally found with any girl consistency) I don't have much on pre-approval. But because it's a loop you can see people from far away coming along the loop

I just use the opening that I got from Hector's course, unless an indirect approach is available (which usually goes better)

Thinking of adding in a little chipper 'hi there's that I saw James do in his videos

Not counting yesterday, I can get phone numbers extremely reliably but then a lot of them die off. So I figured I would try a different state/vibe that I went with yesterday

I personally felt better about it, and even noticed my voice sounded better as well. But yesterday I got a bunch of 'not interested' rejections which I barely ever got before. They were nice about it, nobody was mean or anything. But still, annoying

Guess that might not be the way either. However I'm noticing some women get bored after a while with the previous state I was going with so I figured this had to be the problem. After watching some videos and going over notes I'm assuming the first state gets me in the door cuz it's a friendly and then switch to the second to keep women interested?

I dunno, that's where I'm at right now. Cuz watching ole Marshall (and I plan on watching other people, but I didn't have time last night) his conversation was kinda boring and normal at face value, same shit I talk about. So if he's getting success it must be an energy thing I hope

 

[Regal Tiger]

Oh, and I should say I still got about the same amount of boyfriend rejections as before. Just the straight up not interested amount I got was new

 

[fog]

Oh, and I should say I still got about the same amount of boyfriend rejections as before. Just the straight up not interested amount I got was new

polarizing your behavior leads to new reactions from women that are different from the consistent reactions you get. it makes sense you were getting these reactions; going verbally direct with a sexual vibe is very polarizing, and it was too much for the girls.

Not counting yesterday, I can get phone numbers extremely reliably but then a lot of them die off. So I figured I would try a different state/vibe that I went with yesterday

yeah, this comes down to a few things.... 1. women will give their numbers out like candy, with the intent of not texting you back. 2. you spike their feelings too much, and dont build enough social frame [ie rapport, investment, social value]. 3. your texting is off.

couple of things you could do is take less numbers and only take a number when you recognize its gonna be a good one [for me, usually strong positive emotions will show up between us in the text convo afterwards].....and focus on building appropriate amounts of social frame in your verbals. i know youre a similarity guy but i do wonder if youre building enough of this.

 

[Regal Tiger]

polarizing your behavior leads to new reactions from women that are different from the consistent reactions you get. it makes sense you were getting these reactions; going verbally direct with a sexual vibe is very polarizing, and it was too much for the girls.

That's what I thought, so I'm thinking adding in that chipper/friendly hi in the beginning could help neutralize that a bit

Which falls in line well with what I remember about vocal tonalities in general

yeah, this comes down to a few things.... 1. women will give their numbers out like candy, with the intent of not texting you back. 2. you spike their feelings too much, and dont build enough social frame [ie rapport, investment, social value]. 3. your texting is off.

Originally I assumed it was investment/compliance/qualifying, so I'm trying to work on those

Could be texting is off, but my texts are pretty simple overall. I loosely follow Chase's stuff unless I wanna try something new (like I did with two of the girls from a few days ago)

couple of things you could do is take less numbers and only take a number when you recognize its gonna be a good one [for me, usually strong positive emotions will show up between us in the text convo afterwards].....and focus on building appropriate amounts of social frame in your verbals. i know youre a similarity guy but i do wonder if youre building enough of this.

I could give it a shot with building more

 

[Regal Tiger]

I only managed one approach before I got rained on

I went in with stronger energy since it was an indirect (she had a puppy and that's an easy approach). I think it was a solid approach however she's pretty damn negative. So I don't think it'll go anywhere but I also believe that it has nothing to do with me

So I guess that's a win?


There towards the end she mentioned that I may be too involved for her (I like to do things and she doesn't). I did my best with one of Chase's techniques (slightly modified to match her energy level) of 'do you think I'm attractive, do you like hanging out with attractive men?'

Then went on to say that I will text her so she has my number. And then she can think about it (my quick NLP thing of her being alone got interrupted sadly). So just had to skip towards the end with you just have to hit reply when I text you again when I get back

Ug.... Literally anybody else and it woulda been a great approach I can feel it in my balls it would have been. But with the rain, the mean park lady getting mad at her (park lady loved me though) and her being so negative... I just couldn't calibrate to the level I needed to. I did my best though

Some honorable mentions: I talked about being depressed, and though I haven't had happen to me what she did (an accident) I can relate to feeling removed from the world through that

Took her side about the park lady saying her rude comments were a little bitchy (even though she loved me). Also made a quick little joke about how I guess even the old ladies love me (with a tonality that implied my approach girl did as well)

Modified Chase's technique because I felt like I needed to soften up

Did this without arguing at all with her about her actual objection, instead trying to make it about something else ENTIRELY (I think she's attractive, she thinks I'm attractive)

Oh, and helped her qualify herself when she said she wasn't good at anything. I used James' I'll teach you this if you teach me something. And I remembered from a GC article that sometimes you have to help women qualify themselves

Except she disqualified herself by saying she wasn't good at anything. So I countered with how she didn't seem creative (she agreed). And asked what was the last thing you did that was an activity? She mentioned stretching, and I asked yoga? She agreed. So I told her that I would teach her some stress techniques if she would show me some yoga

 

[Just a Man]

I only managed one approach before I got rained on

This is a great thread. I've just been going through it all. Thanks for the detail. This latest approach seems to have been promising, if it weren't for the circumstances outside your control.

I personally incline to indirect (or indirect-direct) opening, possibly kicking off with a situational angle. It's relatively easy that way to start generating compliance. As I think Chase was saying earlier in the thread, I would incline on first encounter to focus less on the Similarity and deep diving that you were previously emphasizing and more on Arousal, which it seems like you're using more with this latest approach. (I also quite like the staccato structure that Chase sets out and will be working with that template.) I myself used to prioritize getting a good rapport through Similarity until I realized that a lot of that can just end up making the interaction very platonic and sets the wrong frame, at which point shifting frames can feel a bit weird and doesn't get good compliance - in my experience. In my particular circumstances currently, I prioritize quality over quantity and my numbers game is currently extremely low, although I will be increasing it. So after blowing it with three attractive, younger girls, at least two of whom (both quite high-value types) were definitely interested, I decided that I was using much too much 'S' and not remotely enough 'A'.

You mentioned using a modified version of Chase's texting format to set up dates. That format has worked well for me with two girls recently. Icebreaker, very pared back date proposal, scheduler, low-key date. I'm sticking with it for preference. In one case, the initial approach was quite flirtatious on both sides; in another case, the initial approach wasn't obviously flirtatious on either side. But they were both busy professionals who came out on a date within 5 days each of the initial meet or date proposal (and both already aware that I'm married, which I like to get out of the way asap). I like to keep the time between the initial meet and the date proposal text to about 24-48 hours - assuming the date isn't fixed up actually at the initial meet, which I'm not good at doing. I think girls generally favour the no-nonsense pacing of this method and you know pretty quickly if they're flaky or not.

So far, I've been going with a simple coffee date but the stress techniques / yoga "learning exchange" is nicely creative, and I'll be having a think about alternative first-date ideas. I'm currently finessing my first-date technique, specifically setting a sexual frame very early and taking it from there. I still feel rather clunky at that stage, so it's work in progress, and partly why I'm now looking to increase my number of approaches. Fortunately, it's the right time of year weather-wise, and I hope that helps you too. Onwards!

 

[Regal Tiger]

Pretty much done approaching at the park. But while I was there there was a girl who was like my personal 8/10. Opened indirectly, amazing conversation and emotionally seems like an 9/10 my type

After 20 minutes of walking around and talking ask her out. She has a boyfriend that she's on the outs with. A situationship in her words

Doesn't want to meet up. Took her number, texted her and told her if things clear up to text me


This fucking sucks. Unlikely to ever hear back from her.

Getting absolutely sick of day game failures. Been on one date in around 31 approaches (that's just in the past 3 weeks, don't even want to add in the approaches I did last year before winter which all went nowheresville), around 9 numbers I think. And the one date was weird and boring. Didn't bother even trying to text her after

I think I can confidently confirm. Don't ever day game at parks

I need to find somewhere else after burying myself in feel good food, a nice nap and copious amounts of swearing before ultimately trying again because I think I'm retarded -.-

 

[topcat]

Pretty much done approaching at the park. But while I was there there was a girl who was like my personal 8/10. Opened indirectly, amazing conversation and emotionally seems like an 9/10 my type

After 20 minutes of walking around and talking ask her out. She has a boyfriend that she's on the outs with. A situationship in her words

Doesn't want to meet up. Took her number, texted her and told her if things clear up to text me


This fucking sucks. Unlikely to ever hear back from her.

Getting absolutely sick of day game failures. Been on one date in around 31 approaches (that's just in the past 3 weeks, don't even want to add in the approaches I did last year before winter which all went nowheresville), around 9 numbers I think. And the one date was weird and boring. Didn't bother even trying to text her after

I think I can confidently confirm. Don't ever day game at parks

I need to find somewhere else after burying myself in feel good food, a nice nap and copious amounts of swearing before ultimately trying again because I think I'm retarded -.-

check this out

 

[fog]

To blame it all on parks is simply absurd.

It's not just the venue choice. It's a bunch of little things in your game that are all adding up to cause your failures.

Some observations for example:

Walking around the park. Bad choice. Can't build a bubble with her and get her immersed.

Took her 20 minutes for her to tell you about other guys in her life. Sounds like you failed to stimulate her or engage in any sexual framing. You're moving too slow.

Etc etc.

If you could go back and redo this set, what would you do differently to ensure a slightly more positive outcome?

 

[Regal Tiger]

To blame it all on parks is simply absurd.

Think it has to do with the type that shows up to parks. Wanting to walk around as exercise or something, not in the right headspace and etc.

Shoulda been more specific, most women show up in yoga pants and I guess just wanna walk? --> avoiding them from now on, even if they're not runners (only ever tried a single runner because I just plain had to, nothing catastrophic happened or anything and she was flattered but still didn't go anywhere)

This one was dressed a little bit, plus I felt pulled for it anyways. Trying to make guestimations on how it'll go before I go in per one of Chase's articles.

It's not just the venue choice. It's a bunch of little things in your game that are all adding up to cause your failures.

Some observations for example:

Walking around the park. Bad choice. Can't build a bubble with her and get her immersed.

I had us stop and talk for a bit as well at first. She seemed to want to roam around so after a few minutes I just led us to walking again.

Took her 20 minutes for her to tell you about other guys in her life. Sounds like you failed to stimulate her or engage in any sexual framing. You're moving too slow.

Etc etc.

If you could go back and redo this set, what would you do differently to ensure a slightly more positive outcome?

Sadly, I felt like this was one of my better ones as far as trying to bring more stuff in. Lots of incidental touches here and there, choosing where to walk, where to sit and etc. for compliance. Stopping here and there. Did lots of qualifying on what I liked and some playful disqualifiers on what I didn't/didn't matter (musical choices as an example)


About half of last years approaches came from this park as well (it's the only one with sufficient turnover to actually approach). Only one date from last year in like... 9 or so dates? Can't remember now, but only 1 of them came from that park.

If I tally last year plus this year together that's over 150 (I'm guessing around half of that was in the park, so 75). 2 dates out of I'm guessing around 75 park approaches (one last year that I liked but I fucked up on, and then a few weeks ago where she was just weird)? I think I'll skip the park for dates and just go whenever I genuinely feel like walking around from now on



As far as coming in with more sexual energy, got blown out pretty hard when I tried it. Couldn't even get into a conversation.



Guess it's too late to take down the post now, I'm feeling far less frustrated now. But yeah, I'm still absolutely done with that park. Numbers just don't justify the time and it's too damn annoying



Just feels like I'm banging my head against a steel rod at this point

 

[Regal Tiger]

check this out

I'll check out the links in that post, thanks

 

[Just a Man]

As far as coming in with more sexual energy, got blown out pretty hard when I tried it. Couldn't even get into a conversation.

I'm not hugely surprised. Girls don't necessarily go to parks in sweatpants in order to get hit on. I would start indirect. Within 5-10 minutes, work in that you're recently single and looking to date again. See where it goes. She can qualify herself or you can see if she thinks she has any friends who might like you.

 

[Will_V]

I'm not hugely surprised. Girls don't necessarily go to parks in sweatpants in order to get hit on. I would start indirect. Within 5-10 minutes, work in that you're recently single and looking to date again. See where it goes. She can qualify herself or you can see if she thinks she has any friends who might like you.

Very true. A woman jogging or power walking in yoga pants and sports bra with her ponytail and buttocks swinging around knows she's like a deer prancing across the savanna. As soon as she sees a man charging out of the thickets she's going to be in full flight mode.

Indirect is best, but since she is moving fast and in an energetic state you often have to move fast to meet her and match her energy or find a way to connect with it. A positive, smiling demeanor with confident and open body language for instant engagement is really the only thing that works for me. Nowhere near as easy to pull off as strolling up to a girl reading or something.