It’s more like an inability to grasp things intellectually. He told me he was always in special ed classes at school. His handwriting, for example, is simply chicken scratch. He does well at his job (referee at high school basketball games, he used to play too), which is very people-orientated but doesn’t interact so well outside of there. When we were roommates he could hold absolutely normal & decent conversations with the rest of us. But he’s very gullible. He told me a story of how he was living with 2 dirty alcoholic hooligans who took advantage of him and treated him poorly. They easily conned him into paying their Comcast bills by telling him some puny little sob stories, never having any intention of paying him back. Uhhh, so yeah I’d say when it comes to social interactions he’s slow to grasp things and also very vulnerable. He’s even scared of driving his car on nights when it’s raining. He asked me to give him a ride to the corner store a half-mile down the street just because it was night and raining moderately.
But, yeah, you guys are right. He has to be the one to change his life, to turn it around and make it into something much more robust. I don’t honestly know if he has the mental capacity to do that though. I’ll ask a therapist what he thinks.
Pretty sure he has childhood trauma. He told me his parents were abusive, his mother a raging alcoholic and his father the type of asshole who screamed at his kids a lot (they divorced later). Judging by his sheepish body language whenever he’s out someplace, I’d say he got bullied a lot too. He’s the type of guy who was probably the perfect target for bullies.
At the same time, it’s strange how he doesn’t ever seem depressed. Not outwardly for sure. I think a lot of times folks who have disabilities don’t even think about how lackluster their lifestyles are and thus feel more or less content with living their current lifestyles. Never saw him looking sad.
Anyway, I think what I'll do is try to motivate him to seek a therapist who will help him with fear and with social situations, so that he can finally get a woman in the end. I hope he will succeed, but with his mental abilities being very limited I can't tell how far he will get. Worth a try though.