HELP!!! I’m not getting first date lays

[Emmyfunsh]

A little bit about myself. I’m a guy of African decent living in St. Petersburg, Russia for a while now. I must say the gals here are quite good looking.

I’ve been following this site for years now and it has really changed my life. I started as a shy, introvert guy and now I’d say I’m intermediate.


Now, approaching girls, meeting girls online, getting contacts, setting dates, getting girls to like me aren’t big deals. My fundamentals are pretty solid and I follow the advice on this site.

There is just one problem and it’s driving me nuts, they just don’t come home with me on the first date. Even if they do (I’m very persistent), they just don’t sleep with me.

This isn’t a sticking point. How do I know that? because I’m quite good with girls ( I’m intermediate), I’ve got first date lays, so I can relate. But majority of the girls don’t bite (about 98 %). I’ve been on four dates in the last 3 days and it’s getting frustrating. I manage to get some home but the girls just keep saying the same thing; another time/day, not today, it’s too fast, I need more time blah, blah.

Most of my relationships here were second date lays.

My guess is there is a stereotype here that only sluts sleep with guys on the first date. Also the Russian guys don’t help; they got really bad game (their gals tell me) and are upfront/aggressive about sex right from the get go so the gals have kind of developed a defense mechanism which is not to have sex on the first date.

I dated a gal here who moved to the US and told me how free the gals were to sex on the first date.

So what are my options; should I keep trying first date sex (with low chance of success) or should I wait for date two (which happens about 50% or even lower).

Lastly, I stopped kissing girls on first dates or telling them my profession (I’m a doctor by profession) because I thought those were the reasons they were not coming home with me but the results haven’t pretty much changed. IME, without kissing her, you’ve got a fair chance of getting date two. And, profession doesn’t really matter here.

 

[ulrich]

Perhaps it is a good problem to have. It is a high level problem.

Do girls get the feeling that they can get you as a boyfriend or is that thrown out of the window in the first date?
Also, where are you getting girls from?

The time I was getting a lot of SNLs was when I was dating mostly girls from apps and I was acting like a total scoundrel telling them I don’t usually do girlfriend-boyfriend thing.

 

[moom]

Are these dates from cold approach or online game?

 

[Skills]

A little bit about myself. I’m a guy of African decent living in St. Petersburg, Russia for a while now. I must say the gals here are quite good looking.

I’ve been following this site for years now and it has really changed my life. I started as a shy, introvert guy and now I’d say I’m intermediate.


Now, approaching girls, meeting girls online, getting contacts, setting dates, getting girls to like me aren’t big deals. My fundamentals are pretty solid and I follow the advice on this site.

There is just one problem and it’s driving me nuts, they just don’t come home with me on the first date. Even if they do (I’m very persistent), they just don’t sleep with me.

This isn’t a sticking point. How do I know that? because I’m quite good with girls ( I’m intermediate), I’ve got first date lays, so I can relate. But majority of the girls don’t bite (about 98 %). I’ve been on four dates in the last 3 days and it’s getting frustrating. I manage to get some home but the girls just keep saying the same thing; another time/day, not today, it’s too fast, I need more time blah, blah.

Most of my relationships here were second date lays.

My guess is there is a stereotype here that only sluts sleep with guys on the first date. Also the Russian guys don’t help; they got really bad game (their gals tell me) and are upfront/aggressive about sex right from the get go so the gals have kind of developed a defense mechanism which is not to have sex on the first date.

I dated a gal here who moved to the US and told me how free the gals were to sex on the first date.

So what are my options; should I keep trying first date sex (with low chance of success) or should I wait for date two (which happens about 50% or even lower).

Lastly, I stopped kissing girls on first dates or telling them my profession (I’m a doctor by profession) because I thought those were the reasons they were not coming home with me but the results haven’t pretty much changed. IME, without kissing her, you’ve got a fair chance of getting date two. And, profession doesn’t really matter here.

^ To answer your question with the 3 bounce method you can increase the lay on first encounter, but, not all the first encounters will result in the lay, a lot happen on the second encounter, if the lay is not there on the first encounter then do it in the second, a lay is a lay, take a look at this post....

 

[DonGately]

I'm more of a 2nd date guy myself, I find it easier if we make out at the end of the date to get the lay the 2nd date almost always, and if she's green light on the first date. Some girls just won't do anything no matter what on the 1st date though, nothing sexual I mean.

 

[Skills]

I'm more of a 2nd date guy myself, I find it easier if we make out at the end of the date to get the lay the 2nd date almost always, and if she's green light on the first date. Some girls just won't do anything no matter what on the 1st date though, nothing sexual I mean.

exactly it has it pros, for me the second is the sweet spot, if she is not dtf or logistics not there...

 

[Emmyfunsh]

I’ve been getting a lot dates online of recent. I’m currently on vacation and I’ve been more active online. I’ve been going out in general too but it isn’t as successful as online game at the present, (maybe due to the weather). Most of the girls I meet through cold approach are very slow to responding to dates (not positive IMO).

As for online though (I’ve got professional photos; it helps) I find the direct method to work (ask them out on the third message). I’ve got many second dates upcoming so I’ll definitely be updating you guys. I’ve got another date tomorrow through cold approach, I’ll be updating.


Funny thing is after posting this, a gal messaged me (through online game) to meet after 12a.m. She said she was with friends and would be free soon. I told her no prob that I could drive up to see her. She gave me her address and number. I got there picked her up and we started talking. The vibe was great. After few minutes she asked where we were going. I told her we could go to my place since it’s late and everywhere is closed. She acted kinda weird at first and said she couldn’t go to my place. She proceeded to give various reasons which I’ve listed in my post.

N.B. I don’t usually ask girls to come home with me this fast but I did due to the circumstances; there was no other option left.

We drove around the center of the city, I got her comfortable with me, touched a little bit and tried to pull again, this time to her place( she told me she leaved alone), again no luck. Eventually she told me she had to get some sleep, was free Monday evening and would like to continue seeing me. I took her back to her place, we hugged and I left.

“She said she wanted to fall in love”

This could be it - are these gals looking for serious relationships. Most of them are quite interested and would like to meet on the second date or so they say.

Sorry for the long post guys but I need professional advice!!!

 

[Warped Mindless]

No experience with Russian girls so take this for whatever it’s worth but….

Amp up the sexual tension without releasing it by kissing at whatever venue the date is at.

Be sure to move her to another venue after things are going good and be sure that venue is closer to your place.

Give her a non sexual and good reason to actually come back to your place. In other words, have a good reason and excuse and if it can relate to something relevant to the conversation or general date then all the better.

The big thing for getting first date lays is to be less of a “boyfriend” type option and more of a “sexual player” type option. It all comes down to the vibe.

 

[Glow]

I totally understand your frustration.
You have clarity on the situation and know how to game it seems.
With many dates and attempts at pulling in various scenarios.
So i get it. Its annoying.

One way is to focus on second date as the goal as you suggest. Or use the 3 bounce model outlined by skills.

Another thing you could consider is that as seducers we actively work the frames of how women sees things along all of our interaction w. her. And secondly we change her state to ignite more carefree lustfulled endeavours. We make her feel. we make her feel seen. we make her recognise sides of herself and explore those in her mind. We hit her strikingly w our presence arousing her which we further mobilise through smoot escalation.

Point being: we are the active ones driving, setting and nudging the mindsets or frames for how she selects to do things that night. And of also of how she feels along the date. In ways unhidden for the common mans eye. Have you in any ways influenced her frame of mind to how she might feel and think about sex with you on the first date? Have you influenced her sexual activation or her state into one more inclined or even one highly wanting intense and immediate sexual exploits?

Could it be that women are highly ready to fuck SNL style if you push the right buttons? If you create the right sensations along a date night? If you provide a sensually passionate.. a naughty, but also a safe, nonjudgmental space for her to be sexual in?

 

[Skills]

the thing is the op is SPECIFICALLY talking about ONLINE DATING.... He is not talking about 1st dates in general so again, here is how i bang specifically from online on 1st encounter:

- tons of setting sexual frames through text (this is hard to do if you don't know how to do this)

- the encounter has to be done in the evening preferably after dinner...

- logistics have to be there (close to your place, in your territory preferably, she does not have to work the next day, preferably no period etc...)

- and eastern european women are a HUGE pain in the ass with asd, more than any other demographic specially russians...