How could a woman use this site?

[KJ Francis]

beach, hotel bars, gym and cycling outside

This may be a way bigger factor than your dress patterns.

younger guys look right through me for the most part

It's probably just approach anxiety.

Do you even see younger guys in these hotel bars or is it older guys on business trips?

Beach, gym, and cycling... you may see guys on this site approaching in these scenarios but these are outlier guys compared to the normal population. I think if you exclude the older guys with limiting beliefs about age gaps, they have less approach anxiety than the younger guys.

Are you avoiding online dating? Remember most men do not really approach in the day time. The ones who do might not exactly be your fantasy church-goer either.

 

[Lilly]

This may be a way bigger factor than your dress patterns.

It's probably just approach anxiety.

Do you even see younger guys in these hotel bars or is it older guys on business trips?

Beach, gym, and cycling... you may see guys on this site approaching in these scenarios but these are outlier guys compared to the normal population. I think if you exclude the older guys with limiting beliefs about age gaps, they have less approach anxiety than the younger guys.

Are you avoiding online dating? Remember most men do not really approach in the day time. The ones who do might not exactly be your fantasy church-goer either.

Yes, I see younger guys all the time. They glance then look away mostly. I also frequent libraries, outside sports areas, parks, churches, the occasional event (unless it’s liberal woke stuff obv) and go grocery shopping alone. I have a few online dating profiles, have had them for years, but nothing ever came of it.

With 28 years, I honestly have zero interest in going to gross clubs full of hormonal 20-somethings anymore…

 

[KJ Francis]

They glance then look away mostly

Yeah don't take this as disinterest. Approach anxiety is a very major factor

I have a few online dating profiles, have had them for years, but nothing ever came of it.

This does not seem right.

You're in Germany? I would definitely seek out @Vision

He posted about being in Hamburg not long ago.

 

[KJ Francis]

This does not seem right

You might have something that is filtering guys out. I would start with removing your bio and any photo that signals any sort of decision point for guys. Just do a few basic pretty pictures and see what happens. You should be flooded with matches. Most guys just swipe everything like a wide net and take all they can get then go from there.

 

[mirror]

Yes, I see younger guys all the time. They glance then look away mostly. I also frequent libraries, outside sports areas, parks, churches, the occasional event (unless it’s liberal woke stuff obv) and go grocery shopping alone. I have a few online dating profiles, have had them for years, but nothing ever came of it.

Maybe the issue is not giving approach invitations & also in general the idea that girls can't approach. You can open a guy, you dont need to be a damsel in distress waiting on a guy to open you

I know some old female poster at another forum asked a guy she liked for a pen. Then that led to a conversation that ended up in a game where he escalated on her. You don't need to wait on someone else to come to you. You only need to wait for the guy for physical escalation. The emotional one can come from both (and should)

 

[Skills]

Yeah don't take this as disinterest. Approach anxiety is a very major factor



This does not seem right.

You're in Germany? I would definitely seek out @Vision

He posted about being in Hamburg not long ago.

i told her that..

 

[Lilly]

You might have something that is filtering guys out. I would start with removing your bio and any photo that signals any sort of decision point for guys. Just do a few basic pretty pictures and see what happens. You should be flooded with matches. Most guys just swipe everything like a wide net and take all they can get then go from there.

The problem isn’t that guys don’t interact with my profile, but they’re either way too far away or not a fit for me.

 

[Lilly]

Maybe the issue is not giving approach invitations & also in general the idea that girls can't approach. You can open a guy, you dont need to be a damsel in distress waiting on a guy to open you

I know some old female poster at another forum asked a guy she liked for a pen. Then that led to a conversation that ended up in a game where he escalated on her. You don't need to wait on someone else to come to you. You only need to wait for the guy for physical escalation. The emotional one can come from both (and should)

Honestly, approaching guys is such an instant turn-off. Done it before and whatever attraction might’ve developed had he approached first just never appeared.

It feels like, “If he’d been attracted to me so intensely that nothing could’ve stopped him from approaching me because he knew he would’ve regretted it forever, then he would have. But he didn’t. He wasn’t attracted like that to me at all because I’m the one who approached him. He put in zero effort and had zero impulse to act. So this is worthless. He’s either weak or not truly, deeply into me. Waste of time.”

Asking a guy for a pen is different because she didn’t mean to make a move on him. She just needed a pen, he noticed her, was attracted and used the chance to escalate.

 

[mirror]

Asking a guy for a pen is different because she didn’t mean to make a move on him. She just needed a pen, he noticed her, was attracted and used the chance to escalate.

Well, guess you can start your own pen collection. Someone needs to break the ice. Why not you

 

[Skills]

Honestly, approaching guys is such an instant turn-off. Done it before and whatever attraction might’ve developed had he approached first just never appeared.

It feels like, “If he’d been attracted to me so intensely that nothing could’ve stopped him from approaching me because he knew he would’ve regretted it forever, then he would have. But he didn’t. He wasn’t attracted like that to me at all because I’m the one who approached him. He put in zero effort and had zero impulse to act. So this is worthless. He’s either weak or not truly, deeply into me. Waste of time.”

Asking a guy for a pen is different because she didn’t mean to make a move on him. She just needed a pen, he noticed her, was attracted and used the chance to escalate.

Change this point of view i had girls approach me that turned out into amazing relationships... So have other guys in the forum just go inderect or situational

 

[mirror]

It feels like, “If he’d been attracted to me so intensely that nothing could’ve stopped him from approaching me because he knew he would’ve regretted it forever, then he would have. But he didn’t. He wasn’t attracted like that to me at all because I’m the one who approached him. He put in zero effort and had zero impulse to act. So this is worthless. He’s either weak or not truly, deeply into me. Waste of time.”

Reality is rarely so clearcut... sometimes people don't know how to act the right way for the other..
you don't know what someone truly deeply thinks or feels of you, unless you straight away ask and the other person is 1) selfaware and 2) straightaway honest about it.

 

[StrayDog]

Honestly, approaching guys is such an instant turn-off. Done it before and whatever attraction might’ve developed had he approached first just never appeared.

It feels like, “If he’d been attracted to me so intensely that nothing could’ve stopped him from approaching me because he knew he would’ve regretted it forever, then he would have. But he didn’t. He wasn’t attracted like that to me at all because I’m the one who approached him. He put in zero effort and had zero impulse to act. So this is worthless. He’s either weak or not truly, deeply into me. Waste of time.”

Asking a guy for a pen is different because she didn’t mean to make a move on him. She just needed a pen, he noticed her, was attracted and used the chance to escalate.

again, many assumptions being made