Interesting break-down. The third step sounds like you assume that someone can consciously choose to be attracted to another person by focusing on some specific trait they have. I haven’t experienced that ever. Even in hindsight, most men I got to know held nothing of ‘special interest’ that made me romantically interested in them.Okay. So you want to have experience with some romantic relationships and then eventually find someone to marry and it's not allowed to be the first. Am I getting it right?
Then because you want it to be in a committed romantic relationship, you want you both to be invested romantically. You are used to building up friendships but don't know how to make them turn into romantic relationships.
So lets first define: what is romance? Is it push pull bantering or is it the handholding, roses and first dates. Romantic settings like candlelight dinners... movies.
Step one for those is having a one-on-one meetup. There can be people around, but it has to be a conversation between you two.
Lets make it an escape. I am going to paint a story. It doesnt need to fit you or be your scene, but am just gonna experiment some
The second step is the location. You want it to have a more dreamy vibe. Something that's not everyday. Somewhere where both of you feel you can let go of the daily stressors. Where everything seems possible and nothing extra ordinary. Then...
The third step is allowing for smiles and love vibes. Important in this is that you go to the core of interest you feel for this other person. When you have that, your eyes twinkle, your skin glows and you feel the soft atmosphere and relaxation.
The fourth step is to make the other person doubt whether you made a move or not
The fifth step is waiting on the other to make a move.
The fourth and fifth keep being repeated all the time. Sometimes the roles switch.
And they grow stronger each time.
It is easier when you look feminine, but i think it works for every date. The hard part is not the date itself. It's finding the right person to have it with.
How could a woman use this site?
- Thread starter Lilly
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may be a reasonable assumption. but an assumption nonetheless. So far, I'm inclined to believe you're really not all that interested in challenging your assumptions about this all, or else you would already be out there in the world gaining new experiences, since you've joined up on this forum.
Could also be that while your first time isn't immediately in a serious relationship, it leads to one. could be a lot of things.
Hate to break it to you, if you want intimacy you have to risk heartache. No matter which way you take to get there.
Keep playing it safe. And please do let me know if anything changes. I want to be wrong.
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there is a middle ground, a women that doesn't want to sleep around and have flings, can do so... the key is if she is not into the guy just move on fast, don't sleep with him if there is nothing there.....
if she is exited and attracted to a dude, then yes, they can both sleep with each other, and cont. seeing each other, but if is not going anywhere move on, though hard to do for a girl like lyli after couple of fucks...
I think she is thinking fling, is sleep with any dude, which is not... Just date and as part of dating give sex to the guys that have potential... (middle ground)
I am having new experiences and am going out daily, as I’ve already mentioned in this thread. So far the men have all been 50+ though.
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makes no sense that you at 20 something only attracting 50 plus..... Where are you going to middle executive conventions? or the pta for men groups... something is off...
To the beach, hotel bars, gym and cycling outside. Idk why older men are attracted to me. Worse is that younger guys look right through me for the most part when they’re actually my target group. The ratio is like 4:1 (old:young).
I don't think the core of interest is necessarily a specific trait. It's more something that you can feel. I can't explain it but some would decribe it as curiosity, for me i would describe it as a focus on each other that goes deeper than the superficial level, a mix of characteristics that make the person desirable to you. For me it can be a level of safety or comfort combined with the desirabilty of the other person. Can be anything but it has to feel right. If it doesnf feel right: exit.