How do you apologise for a failed date?

[TrailBlazer]

So let’s say you took a girl on a date but you couldn’t even kiss her. And since you tried to look really cool and sexually free before the date, now she thinks that you’re not interested in her - or worse - that all that before was just an act.

What do you do? How do you explain to the girl that you would have fucked her, but it just wasn’t your day that day? So that she’d give you another chance?

I deal with this mostly with girls from my social circle. They love me, touch me a lot, so I tease them and tell them what I’d do to them in bed… but then we go out on a date and I’m too scared to even kiss them.

So I need to explain to them that I still like them (here the article on turning auto rejection around might be good), but also that I really can give them that fast escalation excitement that I promised. Or somehow tell them that I’m still learning this escalation stuff so that they can be more patient. Or better yet, frame it as if I wasn’t sure whether I liked them yet, that way they should go back to chasing.

I really need to find a solution, I had like 4 girls in my social circle who were all over me, I was popular, they texted me every day… and after the ruined dates (all happened in the past 2 weeks), they all went very cold.

 

[gameboy]

I had like 4 girls in my social circle who were all over me, I was popular, they texted me every day… and after the ruined dates (all happened in the past 2 weeks), they all went very cold.

So how about some FRs from these 4 girls from your social circle who all went on dates with you in the last 2 weeks?

Text logs?

 

[OldGuy]

Do not tell them things that you cannot do! (Best to get to the point where you do lay them, but do not tell them things that won't happen).

 

[TrailBlazer]

Do not tell them things that you cannot do! (Best to get to the point where you do lay them, but do not tell them things that won't happen).

This happened even with girls where I didn’t talk about sex beforehand. It was enough to set the sexual tone and then do nothing on the date for them to go cold on me.

 

[OldGuy]

I have had many go cold on me for not having had sex with them.

 

[TrailBlazer]

I have had many go cold on me for not having had sex with them.

It’s a really stupid system, like I tried my best and just because they didn’t get what they expected (which is REALLY DIFFICULT for anyone to achieve btw) now they are cold.

It feels like every time I’m scared to do something, I get punished for not doing it. But I’m not always ready!

 

[TrailBlazer]

You don t fail the "date" whatever tf that is.

I’m asking what to do to quickly rebuild the woman’s attraction after the failed date.

 

[TrailBlazer]

You are asking too much.

Sorry, what? I’m happy for the engagement but I don’t understand.

 

[FunGuy]

I deal with this mostly with girls from my social circle. They love me, touch me a lot, so I tease them and tell them what I’d do to them in bed… but then we go out on a date and I’m too scared to even kiss them.

You mentioned that this is from the context of a social circle. I am curious in regards to what context or environment are you teasing them and telling them you want to do stuff in bed to them? Is this like in a party or social gathering? If that is the case then you are handicapping yourself and making things harder by asking girls out on a date, you should be gaming her then and there. The only purpose dates serve is to get 1 on 1 time with a girl, if you are already in a situation where you have the opportunities to see her often, then its best to use those opportunities to game.

Its generally best to avoid asking girls on dates unless its logistically required, like if you don't bump into her regularly and that is the only way to interact with her in person 1 on 1.

So I need to explain to them that I still like them (here the article on turning auto rejection around might be good), but also that I really can give them that fast escalation excitement that I promised. Or somehow tell them that I’m still learning this escalation stuff so that they can be more patient. Or better yet, frame it as if I wasn’t sure whether I liked them yet, that way they should go back to chasing.

A lot of context is missing so I have to jump to conclusions a bit here, correct me if I'm misinterpreting your situation. It looks like your sticking point could be one of the following or both of them, please post here if you feel like you have difficulties with either one:

1. Sticking Point 1: Cannot physically escalate - this could be due to escalation anxiety or just not knowing what to do
2. Sticking Point 2: Logistical escalation - you are unsure of how to logistically move things forward, not sure if you should be isolating, moving to different venue, seeding pulls etc

So I need to explain to them that I still like them (here the article on turning auto rejection around might be good), but also that I really can give them that fast escalation excitement that I promised. Or somehow tell them that I’m still learning this escalation stuff so that they can be more patient. Or better yet, frame it as if I wasn’t sure whether I liked them yet, that way they should go back to chasing.

What are you doing post-date? You need to provide more context, are you asking them out again or what is happening? Are these chicks still responding to your texts and everything is still pretty normal after or does the vibe always change and they seem disinterested??

In any case, I would advice to just continue interacting with them as normal, tone down the sexuality and tone up the boyfriend vibes as you already put yourself in a troublesome box by asking them out on dates unnecessarily.

Ask the chick out again and make sure you properly game her on the 2nd date, escalate, qualify etc. No need to apologize or make stuff weird if compliance is still high. If you notice behavior negatively change after the dates, then you have a much bigger issue and have to provide A LOT more information as to what is happening in all of these dates that you mentioned, we might be able to help you see what could be going wrong.

 

[JasonH]

Can you provide some reports of 1 or 2 of these dates, with more context and detail?

Your posts simultaneously make sense and no sense at the same time because you are not providing enough context.

 

[Ratata]

So let’s say you took a girl on a date but you couldn’t even kiss her. And since you tried to look really cool and sexually free before the date, now she thinks that you’re not interested in her - or worse - that all that before was just an act.

These are all your insecurities, pal. In reality you don't know the first thing about what she thought, or thinks, about you, because you never tried to escalate. But yes, after a while, girls will get annoyed with a guy who wastes their time like that. So, don't do it again. Next time you have to deliver the goods!

What do you do? How do you explain to the girl that you would have fucked her, but it just wasn’t your day that day? So that she’d give you another chance?

You don't, bro! Never explain stuff like that unless you want to destroy all passion or mystery in your life!

I deal with this mostly with girls from my social circle. They love me, touch me a lot, so I tease them and tell them what I’d do to them in bed… but then we go out on a date and I’m too scared to even kiss them.

That sounds like a pretty great outset bro! Just keep meeting girls like that, and sooner or later you'll end up in a situation with a cool girl who will give you a break.

I need to explain to them that I still like them

No, you don't. Doing so makes you look weak and pathetic. If that's what you're going for, then be my guest! But if not, then your next move is to be chill and perhaps a bit nonchalant about it. Crack a few jokes. Be cool. And be nice. Know that she loves you, deep down. In fact all girls love you. Believe this. Repeat this to yourself. And then welcome the world as it is.

I really need to find a solution, I had like 4 girls in my social circle who were all over me, I was popular, they texted me every day… and after the ruined dates (all happened in the past 2 weeks), they all went very cold.

Yes, because you wasted their time.

Here is the solution: Smile and say hi to them next time you meet them. In the most loving way you can, like you're genuinely happy to see them. I mean, obviously you would be, but take it one step further. Animate yourself. Be a dolphin, or a little puppy happy to see her. Say "Hiiiii omg so good to see you again, I've been thinking about you. How are you?" Then get close for a hug, smell her hair, and go "Omg you smell so good! What are you up to this weekend?" Then get another date. And this time, freaking deliver bro!

 

[TrailBlazer]

These are all your insecurities, pal. In reality you don't know the first thing about what she thought, or thinks, about you, because you never tried to escalate. But yes, after a while, girls will get annoyed with a guy who wastes their time like that. So, don't do it again. Next time you have to deliver the goods!

Well I know for sure that she thinks that I’m not a guy who moves fast. But being able to move fast is one of my biggest advantages over other guys - I just can’t do it right now because I fell out of the practice. But I am a guy that moves fast. So I need the girls to know that I can do it. That I’m not scared to make moves.

That sounds like a pretty great outset bro! Just keep meeting girls like that, and sooner or later you'll end up in a situation with a cool girl who will give you a break.

Well I’d rather just convert the chances as soon as they come. I won’t have any social proof if all the current girls go cold on me.

Yes, because you wasted their time.

Here is the solution: Smile and say hi to them next time you meet them. In the most loving way you can, like you're genuinely happy to see them. I mean, obviously you would be, but take it one step further. Animate yourself. Be a dolphin, or a little puppy happy to see her. Say "Hiiiii omg so good to see you again, I've been thinking about you. How are you?" Then get close for a hug, smell her hair, and go "Omg you smell so good! What are you up to this weekend?" Then get another date. And this time, freaking deliver bro!

That’s supplication though, isn’t it? Being more friendly than they are? Shouldn’t I always be the one less interested?

But I will try it anyway.

Also, the next group meeting could be in like 2 weeks, but the girls were ready to go when we had the dates. I planned it with their cycles (that I estimated) and everything. So now I could have already been having sex with them. I don’t want to do all the work again, I was very close and so I want to reset to that point again as quickly as possible.

 

[gameboy]

In fact all girls love you. Believe this. Repeat this to yourself. And then welcome the world as it is.

I love this! Gonna believe this from now on!

 

[Ratata]

That’s supplication though, isn’t it? Being more friendly than they are? Shouldn’t I always be the one less interested?

Supplication is supplication. Think of when cute girls meet other cute girls. How do they greet each other? With passion, right. Do the same! Always be happy to see a girl. "Eyyy guuuurll, c'mere! So happy to see you, I've been missing you, how are you?" (Warm embrace) Be happy cuz her beautiful body, her lips, her boobs, and not to mention her tits. And her boobs. Anyway, what were we talking about? Yes, obviously boobs, I mean be happy and enthused cuz sexy woman, and you know she loves you, so what's not to like? That kind of enthusiasm, like you're seeing an old friend - except he's sexy.

Idk. Always be welcoming and warm, makes it way easier to make her come over. Then take her into your arms. Marvel at her. Feel her tights, all the way down to her knees, like casually, because you can, and have her sit on your lap. Because you're just the kind of guy who does that, and she loves it. Do you still think that's supplicating? Or do you just assume that you're the man and that of course she's gonna love you?

If you're hoping that she's gonna come over, and if you're still traying to make her like you, then that's supplication. See the perhaps not so subtle distinction here? Like just casually put your hand on her knee when she sits next to you, for example, if you're not comfortable with the other things. After a warm greet like that, if you do that, then that's just an extension of the warmth and love you're giving her, so she'll accept it. If she suddenly goes "don't touch me" then you're doing something wrong. Then you're still off, then you're supplicating because you want something that isn't. Yet. But you can get there, and the first part of getting there, is being there, knowing that she loves you and wants to talk to you, and that sex is on the menu, but you haven't booked a table just yet, just gotta talk to her first.

Think of it like this, you're seeing this girl, and you're giving her a warm embrace, and it's nice and warm and intimate, and you want to fuck her, but you're seeing someone else right now, so you can't go all the way, but you can make her feel really good next to you so maybe she kisses you first. Then you did nothing wrong if things happen. Like that.

 

[TrailBlazer]

Supplication is supplication. Think of when cute girls meet other cute girls. How do they greet each other? With passion, right. Do the same! Always be happy to see a girl. "Eyyy guuuurll, c'mere! So happy to see you, I've been missing you, how are you?" (Warm embrace) Be happy cuz her beautiful body, her lips, her boobs, and not to mention her tits. And her boobs. Anyway, what were we talking about? Yes, obviously boobs, I mean be happy and enthused cuz sexy woman, and you know she loves you, so what's not to like? That kind of enthusiasm, like you're seeing an old friend - except he's sexy.

Idk. Always be welcoming and warm, makes it way easier to make her come over. Then take her into your arms. Marvel at her. Feel her tights, all the way down to her knees, like casually, because you can, and have her sit on your lap. Because you're just the kind of guy who does that, and she loves it. Do you still think that's supplicating? Or do you just assume that you're the man and that of course she's gonna love you?

If you're hoping that she's gonna come over, and if you're still traying to make her like you, then that's supplication. See the perhaps not so subtle distinction here? Like just casually put your hand on her knee when she sits next to you, for example, if you're not comfortable with the other things. After a warm greet like that, if you do that, then that's just an extension of the warmth and love you're giving her, so she'll accept it. If she suddenly goes "don't touch me" then you're doing something wrong. Then you're still off, then you're supplicating because you want something that isn't. Yet. But you can get there, and the first part of getting there, is being there, knowing that she loves you and wants to talk to you, and that sex is on the menu, but you haven't booked a table just yet, just gotta talk to her first.

Think of it like this, you're seeing this girl, and you're giving her a warm embrace, and it's nice and warm and intimate, and you want to fuck her, but you're seeing someone else right now, so you can't go all the way, but you can make her feel really good next to you so maybe she kisses you first. Then you did nothing wrong if things happen. Like that.

Maybe it’s a difference in cultures, but in my country the girls are attracted to aloofness way more than to warmth. I was always taught to give warmth as a reward, and “punish” the girls’ bad behaviour (like when she doesn’t come over) with ignorance.

I can imagine a Latino guy being warm and friendly with everyone including the girl, but in my cold blooded European country it would be seen as trying too hard I guess!

But anyway I get your point and I’ll try to just be friendly with her the next time. However by then it will be 2 weeks from the botched dates and the attraction might be gone by then! I need to show the girls that I’m a guy that moves fast. I need them to text me (because before the dates, they were texting me every day!), set the dates up and escalate asap. By now I could have been sleeping with 2 of them. I want that, not damage control.

But your approach seems like the next best thing and I quite like it. Hopefully it won’t mess up my congruency because I’m not too warm by default (out of fear of my warmth was not being reciprocated).

 

[ThePhoenix]

Some quick thoughts to add to already good feedback:

A consequence of the Sexy Son Hypothesis is that females are attracted to males who impregnate lots of females quickly and easily. If you had the chance and you didn't jump on it, the attraction will die really quickly and likely you're never going to be the same in her eyes. Goes cold. If you read the forum long enough, same story, over, over, over. It's evolutionary, basically best to just suck it up and accept your chances have gone down 100-fold if you didn't lay her first date, go find another girl.

Which brings me to next point, you're doing social circle. That can be good but it also has the drawback it's these same girls. Big benefit of cold approach is every girl is a clean slate. Go to the mall tomorrow and talk to 10 new girls. Now those 4 girls don't mean so much to you. Good for your frame!

Also I think you may have some limiting belief that it's hard to go from date to sex. (Maybe you read Mystery Method or something, he makes the process sound 100 times more complicated than it needs to be.) I've done it, literally you can just meet for coffee, don't pay her way, chat with her a bit, make her do most of the talking, seed some excuse to go home, a little kino, not even necessarily all that much, after an hour if even drop some excuse to go home, she follows, get her comfy, escalate. Some won't be so easy but if you talk to enough, you'll find some are.

Overcomplicate and your dates will fail. You worry too much about things like kissing. Literally you can leave that until the clothes come off. Personally I don't even like the idea of kissing before she's home with you, it can blow the tension and it's kinda cliché. But I know some guys do well with it; whatever works.

But when you have her out, put it in your mind that if you don't get her legs spread open today, then you're never going to see her again. Cold approach is more honest that way, because literally you probably will never see her again. Social circle tricks you because sure, you'll see her again, but that might not be worth anything. Not to say it's impossible, and some of the other replies could help, but honestly your chances are still so much higher on a new girl I'd focus on that.

And believe me I know, escalation can be really scary, especially if you were raised/socialized as a nice guy and had no aggressive men to look up to. Push yourself to do it. Women are a lot more open to it than you'd think. If she's home with a total stranger, almost certainly she wants to. Another benefit to cold approach: there's very little ambiguity there.

Whatever you do, don't apologize for anything! I mean, sure if you were blatantly inconsiderate like you stood her up or something. But otherwise no, no, no! Attraction will hit zero instantly!

 

[Ratata]

Maybe it’s a difference in cultures, but in my country the girls are attracted to aloofness way more than to warmth. I was always taught to give warmth as a reward, and “punish” the girls’ bad behaviour (like when she doesn’t come over) with ignorance.

I can imagine a Latino guy being warm and friendly with everyone including the girl, but in my cold blooded European country it would be seen as trying too hard I guess!

But anyway I get your point and I’ll try to just be friendly with her the next time. However by then it will be 2 weeks from the botched dates and the attraction might be gone by then! I need to show the girls that I’m a guy that moves fast. I need them to text me (because before the dates, they were texting me every day!), set the dates up and escalate asap. By now I could have been sleeping with 2 of them. I want that, not damage control.

But your approach seems like the next best thing and I quite like it. Hopefully it won’t mess up my congruency because I’m not too warm by default (out of fear of my warmth was not being reciprocated).

Dude, I'm North European.

I think you're perhaps conflating greeting with a warm invitation - a big smile, and out-stretched arms for a big hug - as something needy. It's not. You're simply offering joy and enthusiasm directly from your heart. The whole thing assumes that you already have her approval, though, so you're not seeking anything, and thus it's not needy.

I grew up best friends with the most popular guy at high school. He would never act aloof, or if he did, it was cuz he was truly busy talking to someone else about something important. He would always greet girls warmly. Then he'd flirt a bit. Ask about their love life. And pet them casually (hand casually on her knee or thigh), or make her sit on his lap, so they knew that he liked them also intimately, sexually even, though without being sleazy.

He was all round the most well liked guy at the entire school, also because he acknowledged the guys. Really all people liked this guy, and wanted him to come to their parties, and so on. Other than that he was a serial monogamist, and never dated a girl longer than three months. I learned a lot from that guy.

So... Aloofness? No. Wtf is that gonna do? How do you attract a woman by being indifferent to her, or her beauty, or her heart-melting smile? What you're thinking of is the knee-jerk to trying to act like you're not sexually attracted to her. Women see right through that stuff, and see it for what it truly is: Cowardice. No, if you like a girl, go and speak to her (in a non-needy way, showing her that you're the man and not phased by her).

Being a bit nonchalant, that's cool though. You are after all the coolest thing that graced the surface of our world. And she's just a girl. So, share some of your wealth. Particularly in the moment of greeting. I'd rather be the flame, so she can be the moth, as it were. (Who coined that originally, was it Casanova or Zan Perrion? I forget...). She's the moth. So be the flame! And that works much better if you greet her warmly with a nice smile and right into your soft embrace. You already know (or assume) that she loves you. You already expect that she'll accept your touch even on slightly sexual places. And perhaps, deep down, she secretly wishes that you'll whisk her away, behind that booth, behind that shrub, or to that dark corner, and kiss her passionately right below her ear lobe.

What do you do if you meet a girl and she looks at you? You smile to her. Warmly. And bid her over for a big, warm hug, and perhaps a kiss.

Edit: Oh, and you don't need them to text you. Focus on what's important: To get some private time just you and her. You don't need her to "text you" for that. It's enough that you invite her, either in person, or strike up some text. Or get some compliance right then and there, that you then convert into a mini-date at the local café or for a quickie behind that dumpster. I mean, you already went on a date, why would she not text back? Why would she not greet you when you saw her next? I'll tell you. Because you assumed things were awkward. Instead, act as if the date went great. And that of course she 'll want to see you again, either by text or otherwise. If you assume she's cold, she's gonna be cold. And then she'll think you didn't actually like you and get on with her life. Never apologize. Instead just offer value. Be cool. Flirt. Make her laugh. And invite her again. And then amp up sexual tension and escalate.

 

[ThePhoenix]

If you assume she's cold, she's gonna be cold.

Absolutely true.

Your expectations shape so much, especially with women.

I had sex with literally only the third date I had ever gotten from day game cold approach. It was the first date with that girl (totally unsurprising). The first girl was cold from a prior missed escalation and logistics were also not great and it went south. The second girl I didn't overcome a time constraint, didn't try hard enough to pull her same day. Third girl slept with me.

Meanwhile other guys on here were telling us about the dozens of dates they'd been on without even getting the girl home. Why they went on dozens of failed dates and I fucked the third girl?

Because I expected it to be easy. I honestly believed the theory that you cold approach instead of cower behind a computer screen, move fast, don't spend money, don't be the provider or the nice guy, be promiscuous and it's going to turn the girl on instinctively. It happened so easily because I believed it was easy.

OTOH, I had a huuuuuuuge problem with debilitating approach inhibition and getting myself to approach girls enough. I always thought, "I'd be fucking girls easily if only I wouldn't chicken out, but I almost always chicken out."

Guess what? What I expected to happen is exactly what did happen. From the few girls I managed not to chicken out on, I got a lay quite easily, much easier than it was for many guys in here. But I struggled to approach girls. Chickened out over, and over, and over, incessantly, for years. So bad I thought moving to Africa (love African girls) was my only hope to ever approach many girls despite the inhibition.

But recently I came to realize, I chickened out so much because I expected myself to. Whatever you think, it becomes real. Even if it's the wrong thing. Confirmation bias. Your brain will literally sabotage your own best interests in order to stick to what it believes. I had to force myself to believe the opposite. That inhibition is not a problem for me, I approach lots of girls, I approach any girl I want, I approach girls shamelessly. It seems illogical but you make yourself believe it. The brain is not logical.

Surprisingly fast I started to approach way more girls, lots of African girls, even those being such a minority here. Because I made myself believe it.

 

[Will_V]

So let’s say you took a girl on a date but you couldn’t even kiss her. And since you tried to look really cool and sexually free before the date, now she thinks that you’re not interested in her - or worse - that all that before was just an act.

What do you do? How do you explain to the girl that you would have fucked her, but it just wasn’t your day that day? So that she’d give you another chance?

I deal with this mostly with girls from my social circle. They love me, touch me a lot, so I tease them and tell them what I’d do to them in bed… but then we go out on a date and I’m too scared to even kiss them.

So I need to explain to them that I still like them (here the article on turning auto rejection around might be good), but also that I really can give them that fast escalation excitement that I promised. Or somehow tell them that I’m still learning this escalation stuff so that they can be more patient. Or better yet, frame it as if I wasn’t sure whether I liked them yet, that way they should go back to chasing.

I really need to find a solution, I had like 4 girls in my social circle who were all over me, I was popular, they texted me every day… and after the ruined dates (all happened in the past 2 weeks), they all went very cold.

You do not ever apologize for failing your male role to make things happen. You simply make sure that next time the opportunity comes, either with the same girl or another, you don't fail again.

 

[TrailBlazer]

Dude, I'm North European.

I think you're perhaps conflating greeting with a warm invitation - a big smile, and out-stretched arms for a big hug - as something needy. It's not. You're simply offering joy and enthusiasm directly from your heart. The whole thing assumes that you already have her approval, though, so you're not seeking anything, and thus it's not needy.

I grew up best friends with the most popular guy at high school. He would never act aloof, or if he did, it was cuz he was truly busy talking to someone else about something important. He would always greet girls warmly. Then he'd flirt a bit. Ask about their love life. And pet them casually (hand casually on her knee or thigh), or make her sit on his lap, so they knew that he liked them also intimately, sexually even, though without being sleazy.

He was all round the most well liked guy at the entire school, also because he acknowledged the guys. Really all people liked this guy, and wanted him to come to their parties, and so on. Other than that he was a serial monogamist, and never dated a girl longer than three months. I learned a lot from that guy.

So... Aloofness? No. Wtf is that gonna do? How do you attract a woman by being indifferent to her, or her beauty, or her heart-melting smile? What you're thinking of is the knee-jerk to trying to act like you're not sexually attracted to her. Women see right through that stuff, and see it for what it truly is: Cowardice. No, if you like a girl, go and speak to her (in a non-needy way, showing her that you're the man and not phased by her).

Being a bit nonchalant, that's cool though. You are after all the coolest thing that graced the surface of our world. And she's just a girl. So, share some of your wealth. Particularly in the moment of greeting. I'd rather be the flame, so she can be the moth, as it were. (Who coined that originally, was it Casanova or Zan Perrion? I forget...). She's the moth. So be the flame! And that works much better if you greet her warmly with a nice smile and right into your soft embrace. You already know (or assume) that she loves you. You already expect that she'll accept your touch even on slightly sexual places. And perhaps, deep down, she secretly wishes that you'll whisk her away, behind that booth, behind that shrub, or to that dark corner, and kiss her passionately right below her ear lobe.

What do you do if you meet a girl and she looks at you? You smile to her. Warmly. And bid her over for a big, warm hug, and perhaps a kiss.

Edit: Oh, and you don't need them to text you. Focus on what's important: To get some private time just you and her. You don't need her to "text you" for that. It's enough that you invite her, either in person, or strike up some text. Or get some compliance right then and there, that you then convert into a mini-date at the local café or for a quickie behind that dumpster. I mean, you already went on a date, why would she not text back? Why would she not greet you when you saw her next? I'll tell you. Because you assumed things were awkward. Instead, act as if the date went great. And that of course she 'll want to see you again, either by text or otherwise. If you assume she's cold, she's gonna be cold. And then she'll think you didn't actually like you and get on with her life. Never apologize. Instead just offer value. Be cool. Flirt. Make her laugh. And invite her again. And then amp up sexual tension and escalate.

That sounds nice, but maybe too… genuine? You don’t hear women talking and thinking about men who are this warm and open. You hear them discuss guys who behave in unexpected ways. Warm one day, then very cold the next. In my country what works is being exciting. Guys who are worshipped here are the “macho” street types who will yell one minute and be loving the next.

But still I do like your approach and I’ll try to apply it. I do like the girls after all so why be too aloof to them. I think it’s because as you said, I always expect them to be cold. So I’m cold to avoid the pain of rejection. But I’ll try to be a source of warmth instead.

One problem is that your approach allows me to even text the girl, which doesn’t align with Chase’s “botched escalation” article which suggests we hang back and wait for her to reach out. I would like to text them, but I can already feel I care about the result a lot more and that would show on the date! So that’s a big risk.