A
Anonymous
Guest
i guess you hear this story a lot on here: I was never that good with girls - when I was a kid I was very outgoing and having lots of friends and always being the life of the company and having fun. Then in high school there were some girls that liked me but I was too scared to do anything and just waited till what you call attraction expiration happened. And the girls I actually liked and tried my luck - all rejected me. They always said they had boyfriends, or like another guy or sth else happened.
It was not like I didn't try - I probably have tried with 20-30 different girls between the age of 13-16. And then around 16 I closed myself off from others. I stopped being outgoing and started wearing headphones so no one would talk to me. And since then I've always preferred to be by myself. At that time I also gained weight BUT the past few months I've been eating healthy and working out regularly. If I keep it up I'm about 3 months from having a nice visible 6pack and great body.
I'm waiting on fashion cause I don't see a point in buying nice clothes when in 5-6 weeks they'd be big on me and in 3 months I'd need an entirely new wardrobe. I think it's best to wait just another 2-3 months and they invest in some cool and fashionable clothes that would last me a longer time.
I'm also spending time working on my bodylanguage- walking slow, straight back, head up, etc. I'm still kinda waiting to start approaching girls cause I can't muster up the courage cause I think there would be to many things at once if I have to concentrate on eating wright, working out, working on my bodylanguage and to start approaching. I feel I need to take smaller steps. Like work out my fundamentals for the next 2-3 months and once that's off my shoulders and I don't have to worry about it, I can start approaching in piece.
I'll be using the japanese philosophy of "kaizen", that big goals are achieved by everyday doing a bit better that the day before. I don't have illusions that I'd be taking girls home the first months. I think that there are a bunch of things that I need to learn in stages: approaching, having a conversation, deep diving, taking the girl home, escalating, etc. So I'd be taking them one at a time in the beginning.
The way I see it if I try to do everything all at once and try to seduce girls at the beginning I'd just get depressed and stop trying and never accomplish it. But by taking it in small steps I feel that the chain of small victories are gonna keep me going and one day I'd be able to take a girl home.
BUT my question is this: how do you keep the negative thoughts out of your head? I feel like every time I approach a girl I'd be imagining every girls that's approached me and how I wasn't good enough and still might not be. And this will ruin my confidence and cause me to fail.
I know a lot of guys have gone through the same thing. So how do you get rid of all that baggage of being rejected and unattractive? Does it just go away on it's own? Do you have to do sth to get rid of it? Or is it when you start having girls being attracted to you and wanting you, you stop looking back at the past and enjoy the company of the girls who do like you?
I feel that's the only thing that bothers me. Do you get rid of that kind of baggage and how?
James
It was not like I didn't try - I probably have tried with 20-30 different girls between the age of 13-16. And then around 16 I closed myself off from others. I stopped being outgoing and started wearing headphones so no one would talk to me. And since then I've always preferred to be by myself. At that time I also gained weight BUT the past few months I've been eating healthy and working out regularly. If I keep it up I'm about 3 months from having a nice visible 6pack and great body.
I'm waiting on fashion cause I don't see a point in buying nice clothes when in 5-6 weeks they'd be big on me and in 3 months I'd need an entirely new wardrobe. I think it's best to wait just another 2-3 months and they invest in some cool and fashionable clothes that would last me a longer time.
I'm also spending time working on my bodylanguage- walking slow, straight back, head up, etc. I'm still kinda waiting to start approaching girls cause I can't muster up the courage cause I think there would be to many things at once if I have to concentrate on eating wright, working out, working on my bodylanguage and to start approaching. I feel I need to take smaller steps. Like work out my fundamentals for the next 2-3 months and once that's off my shoulders and I don't have to worry about it, I can start approaching in piece.
I'll be using the japanese philosophy of "kaizen", that big goals are achieved by everyday doing a bit better that the day before. I don't have illusions that I'd be taking girls home the first months. I think that there are a bunch of things that I need to learn in stages: approaching, having a conversation, deep diving, taking the girl home, escalating, etc. So I'd be taking them one at a time in the beginning.
The way I see it if I try to do everything all at once and try to seduce girls at the beginning I'd just get depressed and stop trying and never accomplish it. But by taking it in small steps I feel that the chain of small victories are gonna keep me going and one day I'd be able to take a girl home.
BUT my question is this: how do you keep the negative thoughts out of your head? I feel like every time I approach a girl I'd be imagining every girls that's approached me and how I wasn't good enough and still might not be. And this will ruin my confidence and cause me to fail.
I know a lot of guys have gone through the same thing. So how do you get rid of all that baggage of being rejected and unattractive? Does it just go away on it's own? Do you have to do sth to get rid of it? Or is it when you start having girls being attracted to you and wanting you, you stop looking back at the past and enjoy the company of the girls who do like you?
I feel that's the only thing that bothers me. Do you get rid of that kind of baggage and how?
James