How man can shut down attention seekers for wasting his time?

[Whiteheart]

How to deal with girls who want attention, validation and nothing more with actively seeking it from some man (me)? Often, they are genuine attention junkies, desperate for attention, and giving me even more attention than I return to them just to have interaction and feel validated. Even if I treat them like anybody else, they initiate conversation and flirting because they honestly enjoy it and just don’t find me attractive for date.

Often, they give approach invitations. They also show false signals of interest like warmth, enthusiasm, flirt, smiling and seductive eye contact. These are all false signs of interest because these women avoid dates when asked through going silent, making excuses or even pretending to flattered but "on fence" with their decision. Also, some of these attention seekers pretended to be surprised that I asked for date on first place.

Problem is when guy is in "I want attention from him" category he is practically friend zoned (his fault or not he simply isn’t perceived as her type or enough masculine and sexy for her taste) but is interesting to talk with so she puts him in "good for providing free attention" category. I ask for solution because it really annoys me that women get everything they want the most (attention) from men easily and for free while on the other side men don’t get what they want the most (sex) easily.

Is there a way that men can politely shut down women who want only attention and how? I am asking for advice how to actually show her that she is recognized for what she is doing and that there is not such a thing like free attention.

Is there a way a men can take "revenge" to this behavior?

There are a lot of articles on Girls chase about attention whores with great descriptions how to recognize them and articles about how to convert them (with moderate efficiency). I don’t expect to get women that are attention seekers jut to have strategy to politely show them that is disrespectful and bad just like when some man uses woman with big expectations for sex and ditches her after that.

 

[Fuck This]

Escalate...if she doesn't escalate with you then leave her behind.

 

[trashKENNUT]

Is there a way that men can politely shut down women who want only attention and how? I am asking for advice how to actually show her that she is recognized for what she is doing and that there is not such a thing like free attention.

Is there a way a men can take "revenge" to this behavior?

Different contexts. See which one, helps.

Is it this?

Women Who Tease (CAUTION)

Just Thoughts Here, Like to note on Guys, There are Girls out there that likes to tease men but never sleeps with them. Their way of screening for strong and capable men. Here are some of the ways to be aware, 1) Incidental touching of Breast to you when first approach. 2) Holding your arms...

www.skilledseducer.com

or is it this?

Friends jealous

Hi Guys, I have this tendency to have problems every now and then. Girls who are friends, pure friends whom i have no interest at all, see me with other girls outside and suddenly become jealous and have this spike in confidence to want to talk to me, and i find my friendship with them tend to...

www.skilledseducer.com

or is it this?

This is why I hate people when this happens.

@DarkKnight once noted why do I care so much about people. I also have interactions with @Hector Papi Castillo and he said that he respected me for doing this 'unspoken bro code', which is very relative among everyone. We all don't share the same values.

To this post, i see this happened all the time in school and pretty much everywhere social.

This is not rape. It's complete BULLSHIT. Everyone is going after what they want. The girl is not innocent either, as far as I am concerned with this limited knowledge on this post.

I hate this type of people because it hurts people who actually got hurt, and you hurt the authorities from actually helping people.

z@c+

 

[Alpha13SC]

Look at this

Came across this post today. Maybe @DarkKnight or @West_Indian_Archie may add something to it.

 

[Glow]

from what i read i sense youre tumbling a bit creating these responses from women and misperceiving them from some angry, vindictive motivation.. That energy is easily spotted by women and they will avoid you like the plague doing exactly what you describe. Creating a vicious negative circle.

= youre approach and where youre coming from is the problem here. Or could very well be.

what you call attention seekers we used to call Time wasters in the fast escalation days. As @Fuck This this outlines for beginners and intermediaries you wanna just escalate on them smartly to test the reality of their engagement. eg escalating the vibe > its on moment > moving close > hand caress > assess her response (girls will rarely mutual hand caress if not interested and display avoidance signals not just passiv receptance). That said most guys dont know womens states well enough to truly do this except for at a moment in time where the test might fail as shes not in a ready state. Which is limited. Later you can influence and alter her wants in relation to you for a percentage of the girls if you feel like it. By adapting and stimulating according to her specific being.

But thats not your problem imo.

Im confident you need to take responsibility for your role in it and change your engagement style and vibe. i already sense the contours how how you do things. The good thing is that you have full control of this.

if you outline it properly aka field rapports we can help you pinpoint the problems instead of this presumably biased coverage youve given.

Ofcourse i could be wrong. but i doubt it. concrete outlines will help nail the reality of things.

 

[DarkKnight]

Often, they give approach invitations.

Yeah.. could be. I know attention seekers who give approach invitations and draw in leagues of suckers. To see if they are real test them for compliance. But be wary.. true attention seekers do not give up easily, even after you screen them out. The distinction between attention seeker and real girl, is that real girls autoreject easier... because they actually care about you and are afraid of getting rejected themselves (they feel vulnerable). True attention seekers have much more persistence. Teevster has a good post about how to get them, but honestly I believe with those girls it is much better to just not bother. They seem powerful to you, but they are usually broken and behind the illusion are ugly things..

"I want attention from him" category he is practically friend zoned (his fault or not he simply isn’t perceived as her type or enough masculine and sexy for her taste)

I am not so sure about this, also you are the one who decides if you are friendzoned or not. You can just keep escalating when she comes back (because she will), if she does not like it she can move away, just in order to come back again where you will keep escalating again. Basically you flip the script on her. Strong caveat is that this risks increasing your own mental investment. It is a fine line you have to walk in order to succeed here. People seem to forget that when another puts a frame... you do not have to accept it. You're giving the girl too much power.

because it really annoys me that women get everything they want the most (attention) from men easily and for free while on the other side men don’t get what they want the most (sex) easily.

Then just don't give the attention. "Oh hi, it was great talking to you!" .. and continue with whatever the fuck you are doing. You should also not identify with the average Joe who is undeed unaware and keeps providing attention. Then that problem is solved too. I can already tell you that these girls cannot get attention "easily" from a lot of the regulars on this board.

Is there a way a men can take "revenge" to this behavior?

Don't bother. I get it you feel tricked. Hell, maybe you are. Best thing to do is maintain frame and IGNORE. Time will solve your problem after that. You think these attention seeker girls are not attuned enough to sense that you are moving on and are unbothered by them? Trust and believe they will sense it. So don't get stuck in petty struggles it is just bullshit negativity. But I get it.. these girls can really make it hard on you because they basically push themselves on you.. Things can get obnoxious real fast.

. I don’t expect to get women that are attention seekers jut to have strategy to politely show them that is disrespectful and bad just like when some man uses woman with big expectations for sex and ditches her after that.

Alright.. if this is so important for you. "Hey Sara, you seem like a nice girl, but I do not feel there is a genuine connection here so I would really like to focus on others". But you need balls to pull that one off . Basically you withdraw what they need (attention) and reverse reject them. Problem is the type of girl you describe will come in all friendly and it will seem as if you are spoiling the mood or being the "bad guy". I actually would not do this unless she is really intruding into your personal space and keeps bothering you (happens).

Above line is easier to do in earlier stages... I am assuming you have been waiting and pining for whatever girl and in the end you didn't get her. Next time that can be solved easy: move faster. Moving fast (not hardcore screening game) is the solution to not getting drawn into quicksand. It is also the kryptonite of attention seekers.

So some takeaways:

* You are at a place where you view women as very powerful compared to you. Means you need more experience and stronger inner game. "Blackheart" comes off as a nickname of a guy who is in a dark space.. not genuinely black of heart. But, I get it.. we all have our phases and I hope you will get stronger out of this one.
* Do not be bitter, but be more assertive, there is nothing wrong with it although the world will try to convince you otherwise.
* I hope these women are NOT at work or in the office or something like that. Do not shit where you eat.
*All written above is under the assumption that these are truly hardcore attention seekers and not just girls you misread.
* Meet more girls. The best defense, is more offense.

 

[Whiteheart]

Im confident you need to take responsibility for your role in it and change your engagement style and vibe. i already sense the contours how how you do things. The good thing is that you have full control of this.

This is generally good idea. Because you have already sensed my style and vibe if you could give me some practical advice what I should change and how?

If it will help I am writing now how I see myself doing things: I use spontaneous conversation with deep diving, flirt and use a humor a lot, try to create some sexual tension through eye contact or checking her out. I don’t touch much. I gave my best to present myself as funny, masculine man who is good listener but obviously or I do that fully wrong or level I show isn’t enough for women or I should do something more. Simply there is that problem when I meet girl, she will be attention seeker or neutral, unsure, lukewarm interested "I don’t know maybe we could be together" but then the more we interact no matter what I do she stays in that category and firmly slips toward attention seeking/other forms of uninterested women.

 

[Whiteheart]

I am assuming you have been waiting and pining for whatever girl and in the end you didn't get her. Next time that can be solved easy: move faster.

You gave me excellent advices in post, thanks bro, I will apply all of them! I would just want to use opportunity to ask you about this sentence. It doesn't just happen to me with attention seekers but very often, almost all the time so maybe now is the opportunity to ask for opinion. The thing is sometimes girl is true attention seeker while sometimes girl is neutral, unsure, finds me somewhat attractive but wants more attractive man and in this case I tear my balls to game her with every game or natural approach and still it isn’t enough and she becomes attention seeker. If I move fast she ditches me and if I move slow (in my opinion moderate speed) she is going toward attention seeking/other forms of uninterested women.

Yes, you told me to move faster, but as I said I lot of times I was turned down and maybe I should change something in my style. If you could advice me how to game women who are lukewarm interested and have tendency to move toward fully uniterested? I asked the same question @Glow so whoever of you two can tell me will be great.