How to brake this frame?

[weekendwarrior]

Hi guys,

I went on a date with this chick and she bulldozed me with her frame which left me stranded. She has just moved into a new apartment, this was mentioned a few days before the date, the weather was horrible so I picked her up from her apartment so after the date I was driving her back. Her apartment was mentioned and somewhat seeded that I thought I had a good opportunity.

Getting into the car after the date she pre-emptively mentioned how this creepy guy that follows her around the last time they were out suggested to her friend they all go back to her apartment and that her friend walked her home to protect her, firstly a DHV I guess that another guy wants her and most importantly setting the frame that this creepy guy kept hinting at going back to my place so don't be a creep.

I didn't really know how to respond, in the car I had good compliance and signs that I physically escalated but when things got too hot for her she just bailed. I didn't do much, my hand was only on her thigh towards her knee before she ejected.

How do I break this frame? I feel I can't suggest seeing her apartment without falling into it.

Warrior

 

[foggy]

this is an opportunity to contrast yourself against the creep. empathize with her and talk about the right way to behave ie what a non-creepy guy does in this situation.

these sorts of situations, where she's complaining about guys, i view as escalation windows to move to the next step with her. and you do that in part with the contrast

 

[DonGately]

Yeah, provide comfort and contrast so that it would be unusual for her not to spend more time with you.

 

[weekendwarrior]

Thanks @fog @DonGately greatly appreciated.

@fog can you give an example? I can emphasise with her, as for how to do it other than being passive and saying that the chick should bring it up/invite I'm not sure how to contrast other than instead of pushing it how he did to suggest and hint. More lack of experience in my part!

@DonGately I think I had enough comfort with this chick, I just think she's extremely inexperienced. We talked for about 2 hours on the date, I've also known this chick for way too long. This is the first time I've managed to isolate her and she bulldozed me.

Every time we're out together she asks to talk and tip toes around the relationship talk, she never fully has it because it breaks her Disney perception of how this should go. Another reason I think she's very inexperienced.

Warrior