How to deal with people who talk down to you? (Engineer types)

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

I dealt with this mostly in science classes or math classes with these nerdy types. There's these obviously nerdy dudes who try to talk down to me or other lab mates. Once we get to experiments for example, he'd say something like "No no buddy, you're doing it all wrong. Just leave it alone and can you go get that X"

This used to really throw me off cause people don't talk like that to me.

I just grabbed one by the collar after getting real annoyed and he backed down to become real submissive afterwards.

Anyone know what causes this type of behavior? And when someone talks down to you like they're an 'authority' how should you respond? It's hard to ignore when you deal with this in the same lab where you meet em consistently.

 

[PalmaSailor]

They’re just fucked up in their own heads trying to prove some type of superiority.

Grabbing them by the collar and offering to deal with it the old fashioned way is the right approach. Just don’t have witnesses.

 

[Souverain]

I've spent some time around them in college. Most folks in labs were actually quite nice. The nerdy, superior acting ones and I never got along, but never interacted partly because of mutual aloofness.

So if that's a possibility, just ignoring them through body language and a laconic approach might work. Wish I had the presence of mind/opportunity to shove em against the cabinets once in a while, though!

 

[Will_V]

Grabbing people by the collar isn't usually good for career progression. It's also very reactive.

What about just ignoring them? Or telling them what to do instead?

Nerdy types value their intelligence the same way meatheads value their muscles. They aren't usually too hard to get along with, as long as you are chill and know what buttons to push.

Bonus points for getting them to do your lab experiments for you!

 

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

Grabbing people by the collar isn't usually good for career progression. It's also very reactive.

What about just ignoring them? Or telling them what to do instead?

Nerdy types value their intelligence the same way meatheads value their muscles. They aren't usually too hard to get along with, as long as you are chill and know what buttons to push.

Bonus points for getting them to do your lab experiments for you!

I'm not really worried about looking reactive or 'being reactive' because if you are reactive and if you make them reactive to you even more, then at the end of the day, you win. There's really this thing in manosphere about 'be less reactive bro'.

Nah fuck all that, I'm gonna react how I need to react. If there's consequences, so be it, I'll learn from it.

 

[Velasco]

he'd say something like "No no buddy, you're doing it all wrong. Just leave it alone and can you go get that X"

do it (whatever "it" is) right. i'd react the same way if i gave you a task to do, and saw that u had no idea what you were doing.

 

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

do it (whatever "it" is) right. i'd react the same way if i gave you a task to do, and saw that u had no idea what you were do

If you were someone I respected, I'd have this response, sure. If you were my peers, I'd probably just slap you b/c you wouldn't be tasking me in the first place.

 

[Souverain]

If you were someone I respected, I'd have this response, sure. If you were my peers, I'd probably just slap you b/c you wouldn't be tasking me in the first place.

Sure, but the problem in labs is that most experiments are pretty sensitive to changes in procedure, and it is the researcher's/student's responsibility to follow these steps correctly.

So violently lashing out usually isn't the way to go in such environments, even though your hostile classmates may be tone-deaf.

Besides, learning to deal with such situations flexibly is a pretty cool skill to develop.

 

[Will_V]

I'm not really worried about looking reactive or 'being reactive' because if you are reactive and if you make them reactive to you even more, then at the end of the day, you win. There's really this thing in manosphere about 'be less reactive bro'.

Nah fuck all that, I'm gonna react how I need to react. If there's consequences, so be it, I'll learn from it.

It's not a manosphere thing, it's a social skills thing. If a lab nerd can wind you up to the point of violence just by 'talking down' to you, what are you going to do when someone's trying to get you fired and wreck your career? Or your girlfriend wants to play games? Or some gangster with a hidden weapon decides to make a point with you?

The idea of being non-reactive is your exit point from a fight you don't want to have on terms that are not good for you. It's not submission, it's valuing your own self control above the control of others over you. If anyone can come along and press that big shiny red button, what does it say about how sure you are of yourself?

 

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

It's not a manosphere thing, it's a social skills thing. If a lab nerd can wind you up to the point of violence just by 'talking down' to you, what are you going to do when someone's trying to get you fired and wreck your career? Or your girlfriend wants to play games? Or some gangster with a hidden weapon decides to make a point with you?

The idea of being non-reactive is your exit point from a fight you don't want to have on terms that are not good for you. It's not submission, it's valuing your own self control above the control of others over you. If anyone can come along and press that big shiny red button, what does it say about how sure you are of yourself?

Very fair point

 

[foggy]

What would you do if a lil kid was ordering you around? Probably have a good laugh over how cute it is and ignore them

 

[DarkKnight]

What would you do if a lil kid was ordering you around? Probably have a good laugh over how cute it is and ignore them

Best answer

 

[Skills]

I covered this here on the dynamics https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...-picked-on-with-amog-fights-disrespect.23755/

 

[DaVinciMatrixStyle]

I covered this here on the dynamics https://www.skilledseducer.com/thre...-picked-on-with-amog-fights-disrespect.23755/

Exactly what I was looking for

 

[Water]

I dealt with this mostly in science classes or math classes with these nerdy types. There's these obviously nerdy dudes who try to talk down to me or other lab mates. Once we get to experiments for example, he'd say something like "No no buddy, you're doing it all wrong. Just leave it alone and can you go get that X"

This used to really throw me off cause people don't talk like that to me.

I just grabbed one by the collar after getting real annoyed and he backed down to become real submissive afterwards.

Anyone know what causes this type of behavior? And when someone talks down to you like they're an 'authority' how should you respond? It's hard to ignore when you deal with this in the same lab where you meet em consistently.

I’ve worked in a lab teaching students in college for a year. I was nice and chill and timid and tried not to talk about the lab or the work. Most lab people are like that. Maybe he was insecure or had a bad day. But don’t let one person affect you so much. He’s not worth it.