How to handle insults from a girl?

[DarkKnight]

Lets agree to disagree then , I think my view on the matter is quite clear

 

[Tim Iron]

FOR NEWBIES: If a woman is rude, say "take care, take care" or "have a nice day" and walk away as fast as and as confidently as you possible can away from her. Please save your mental energy... don't try to put a woman in her place. Start practising this right from when you start approaching women.

 

[Rakehell]

I actually get what @DarkKnight is saying. A major loss might blow out a beginner for a significant portion of time.

But acting above it is a winning scenario. If the beginner isn’t socially calibrated enough and the girl is feeling really vindictive she might burn him up even more.

Edit: I.e he claps back, she take’s the frame by saying he approached her

We know girls are silly and cute so we’d deflect her comment and take control of the interaction. (if we felt like expending the effort) “You’re too cute, are you always this sour or do you have some sweetness beneath the surface?” if she continues we’d just walk away without acknowledging her further

Where as a beginner is likely to react to her comment with the same vigor escalating it, getting his feelings hurt some more because of the lack of frame control (taking it personally)

 

[ART]

The good news is you didn't escalate after she threw the 'short ass, dumb ass' insult. Kind of sounds immature of her, if I'm honest.

Not to mention, it's kind of poking the bear on her part.

So to not say anything after that is a win in my book. If it were me in that situation, I would have done the 'bored, uninterested look' or 'Have a nice day'.

Also, don't blame yourself for this bad interaction. She might have been pissed off to begin with before you even entered the picture.

Keep going, man

 

[Calibration]

I think I understand a bit where Op is coming from. This seems like a turning the other cheek situation. If a girl would have turned nasty like that I would probably reply with "you seem like a loser" and then eject and then she can hurl any insult she wants.

Not everyone has the state control to handle insults, it demoralizes them and makes them feel like they lost something, have become bruised. The very experienced guys dont take things personally and thus this is easier for them to handle. I notice that I tend to deflect things on auto pilot (still keep my eyes open for if I have to take action/intervene)

We must not ignore winner momentum. So yes, in my book if someone goes hard at you (assuming you didnt do anything wrong or weird), putting them in place in a CALIBRATED way is the way to go.

I could've said "go look at your nose in the mirror" (she had a big nose).

But tbh I'm not sure what to do if feminists and whiteknights gang up on me. If I insulted her back and she got even more vindictive and called upon others in the public for help, falsely accusing me of anything (for ex, saying I passed a perverse comment etc), I'm at a loss to prove my point since I did go to approach her and others around might have noticed it. (It's no different to false rape accusation). How could I follow-through in such situation?

 

[trashKENNUT]

Just to derail Abit.

I saw the name, Shawn. I had to. Sorry man. I had to.

 

[Calibration]

Just to derail Abit.

I saw the name, Shawn. I had to. Sorry man. I had to.

I thought this community didn't have amogs and trolls.. anyway good one man

 

[Regal Tiger]

It is best to see them as infectious,

Was literally going to call this crazy bitch a virus lol.

Why would anyone need to fire shots back at someone like this? Just walk away. Trying to correct crazy is like having an internet fight, except out in the real world the word of a woman is higher than that of a man.

So just imagine this (which it sounds like wouldn't be too far of a stretch, she already sounds off her rocker to do something like this):
you try to correct her behavior but then she just starts yelling for help because some guy is harassing her. Do you think anybody in the area is going to take your side over hers?


I had a run-in with a crazy bitch myself a few months ago. I just looked at her like she was retarded and completely ignored her while she went on some stupid rant for a few minutes. Then, because I was in a coffee shop I did some damage control by talking about it so that people would hear my side of the story to protect my own reputation.

But it sounds like OP was just out and about and didn't even need to protect his reputation (seriously, who is going to come after you, the park police lol?)


Anyone talking about how they need to put a crazy bitch in her place is just coming from a need for validation in my opinion. There's only one reason to ever attempt to correct crazy, and that's in some kind of social circle situation where you need to nuke her ass from orbit. But it's not to correct her behavior, it's an argument for the social circle itself. You're not trying to win against her, you're trying to win over the crowd at that point.

Because let's be honest, you have a better chance at winning an internet fight with a five year old than you do for 'correcting her behavior'. Bitch is crazy, just imagine her as the black plague and get away before it infects you


But all jokes aside, what do you win/gain by trying to correct her behavior? Her undying love and always-moist vagina? Why thank you kind stranger for pointing out how much of a cunt I was, please, may I suck your dick? lol

And here's a better question, what can you lose by even trying?

 

[Will_V]

It's worth saying though, if you get instant aggression from a female, probably something about the approach/presentation was off. People don't usually get nasty, but if they have an opportunity to categorize something a certain way, and vent on it, then they might do it.

I've never had a woman actually yell at me, but I've had my fair share of passive aggressive women, or women who seem to just suddenly panic and bail as if you've done something hostile by introducing yourself or making a comment. I gotta say, it's usually been a case of me having underlying neediness/too much focus and not managing my vibe.

That's not to say crazy reactions are warranted, but you know, life's a bit different when you've got a pussy and the world is full of thirsty dudes, women are always going to be way more emotional and reactive, it's our job to find a way to stimulate the best in her.

 

[Calibration]

Was literally going to call this crazy bitch a virus lol.

Why would anyone need to fire shots back at someone like this? Just walk away. Trying to correct crazy is like having an internet fight, except out in the real world the word of a woman is higher than that of a man.

So just imagine this (which it sounds like wouldn't be too far of a stretch, she already sounds off her rocker to do something like this):
you try to correct her behavior but then she just starts yelling for help because some guy is harassing her. Do you think anybody in the area is going to take your side over hers?


I had a run-in with a crazy bitch myself a few months ago. I just looked at her like she was retarded and completely ignored her while she went on some stupid rant for a few minutes. Then, because I was in a coffee shop I did some damage control by talking about it so that people would hear my side of the story to protect my own reputation.

But it sounds like OP was just out and about and didn't even need to protect his reputation (seriously, who is going to come after you, the park police lol?)


Anyone talking about how they need to put a crazy bitch in her place is just coming from a need for validation in my opinion. There's only one reason to ever attempt to correct crazy, and that's in some kind of social circle situation where you need to nuke her ass from orbit. But it's not to correct her behavior, it's an argument for the social circle itself. You're not trying to win against her, you're trying to win over the crowd at that point.

Because let's be honest, you have a better chance at winning an internet fight with a five year old than you do for 'correcting her behavior'. Bitch is crazy, just imagine her as the black plague and get away before it infects you


But all jokes aside, what do you win/gain by trying to correct her behavior? Her undying love and always-moist vagina? Why thank you kind stranger for pointing out how much of a cunt I was, please, may I suck your dick? lol

And here's a better question, what can you lose by even trying?

I was fine in ejecting but part of me was saying that I should've put the bitch in her place. Now that you mentioned your experience at the coffee shop, I think in my case as well it could've turned bad if I had tried confronting her. I'm now convinced about what I did and put my mind at ease. Thx

Although I know it's not common for this to happen and I hadn't experienced anything like this in the past, it still kinda shook me (I'm very conscious of spotlight effect) and has definitely affected my vibe. Does anyone here know any TRE for this?

 

[DarkKnight]

I was fine in ejecting but part of me was saying that I should've put the bitch in her place. Now that you mentioned your experience at the coffee shop, I think in my case as well it could've turned bad if I had tried confronting her. I'm now convinced about what I did and put my mind at ease. Thx

Although I know it's not common for this to happen and I hadn't experienced anything like this in the past, it still kinda shook me (I'm very conscious of spotlight effect) and has definitely affected my vibe. Does anyone here know any TRE for this?

Yes, you have suffered a testosterone hit in this scenario. Thats why you had the urge to put her back into place. It has nothing to do with "validation" or "correcting" her. This is why you felt bad, this is why you started this post. In a way this post is actually seeking validation (nothing wrong with that right now), "did I act well?". It is natural to wonder these things and ask for support. Especially when you are new into the game. Or any game.

Chase mentioned in one of his articles, that when a girl tells you to leave , part of you wants to stick around as otherwise you will feel like the loser who is being dominated. He actually recommended leaving her as this was a scenario with bouncers I think, but I am just trying to get across to you what state these things can put you in. I forgot which article that was and the context , but I know it is similar to your scenario. I know I had a similar situation once, girl went crazy at me for looking at her (yes just looking). I mocked her for it with my nonverbals. No extreme measures needed. But not gonna pretend it didnt happen either, I mean, who is she? Don't show anger though, it will drag you down to her level. These days I would probably just look at her and smirk. But then again these days I have TONS OF EXPERIENCE as I am much older.

Every interaction you have with people can influence your hormones due to winner and loser momentum. When you have rock solid frame, this effect is minimized (but still in effect) , but YOU are not there yet. So be wary of rationalizing everything in an "enlightened" way. I am not saying go around making fights, but dont pretend to be a zen master. It is not necessary. Rock solid frame is a progress which is build with EXPERIENCE. Do take your winner momentum into account. These changes in your body are real. Unreactivity is important, I practice it myself, quite effectively actually. But I am not going to pretend to be a zen master meditating on a mountain who never feels anything and everything just washes off. Nobody is.

This series is for you:

How to Demand Respect from Others, Pt 1: The Self Is Everything

If you want respect, you must be able to demand respect. The first part of this, however, is to realize you will never destroy your ego – so you might as well work with it. There is an undercurrent of pseudo-philosophical thinking in the manosphere and the seduction community that needs to be...

www.girlschase.com

Above is from Hector who particularly warns against this unreactivity philisophising in the seducer community. Take advices with a grain of salt, if everyone was super enlightened on pickup boards we wouldnt have continous flame wars or status jockeying. But we do. A lot of posts are validation seeking (I am probably guilty of this as well) or covert status jockeying. So I am going to keep it real with you. Read around the boards and see all the huge egos (mine included).

Read this as well:

How to Be a Dominant Man: What You Didn't Know About the 'Winner Effect'

Dominance is a touchy topic. It's positively loaded with cultural baggage - in the West, we're averse to both the idea of being dominant over others and of others being dominant over us. It has all kinds of ill-favored connotations that most would rather just avoid. I'm throwing all of that out...

www.girlschase.com

"Dominance victory and testosterone levels" this paragraph is most relevant but I recommend reading it all.

This will provide you aditional context so you can make better decisions which bettrt align with yourself in the future.

 

[Rakehell]

I’ve had a girl call some random foreigner guy in the vicinity to help plead her case with me. Mind you this was a girl who’d threatened me with family members saying “she could get me killed”.

By the time this guy made it over I had pretty much defused the argument that she was adamant on having, but since he was already there she basically had to go all in and blew it out of proportion. I held my cool and just walked away without acknowledging the guy (he was a non factor and pretty much just agreed with her).

Everyone else looked at her like she was crazy. I say this to say these types of situations aren’t that hard to deal with. It’s not like you actually did something illegal or wrong and noone can control your behavior except you. You don’t really need a contingency plan just look out for signs of an angry girl before opening.

 

[Regal Tiger]

I was fine in ejecting but part of me was saying that I should've put the bitch in her place. Now that you mentioned your experience at the coffee shop, I think in my case as well it could've turned bad if I had tried confronting her. I'm now convinced about what I did and put my mind at ease. Thx

Although I know it's not common for this to happen and I hadn't experienced anything like this in the past, it still kinda shook me (I'm very conscious of spotlight effect) and has definitely affected my vibe. Does anyone here know any TRE for this?

For sure man, we're not robots. I'm not the best around or anything but I've been doing this for years at this point and I've only ever had my one crazy reaction. I can stomach rejection pretty well at this point and the girl I mentioned shook me for a few days. I'd never had someone just go psycho on me like that

In fact, I had one approach after her that I, quite honestly, shouldn't have done in the state I was in. It's only natural to take a step back after something like that. Crazy people are so sure of themselves and the world while we're trying to learn as much as we can. So naturally we're going to reflect "well, did I do anything to warrant that?" because we don't want it to happen again

Meanwhile, mrs. infection is off ruining other people's day just because she can't control her mood from what Sally at work said to her that day (or who knows, maybe something serious happened but with people like that, it's hard to say)

 

[Skills]

it depends on the situation, all of your answers are correct...

But there are a MINORITY type of women that if they smell blood, they will double down and go for the kill (again depending on situation and reads and experience).... (the op case was this type of women blood let me destroy type women aka bullie)... Op is not newbie either...He got bother cause he acted the way most people are suppose to act, "Walk away and ignore, have a nice day" in this case that was not the right move, cause based on tone body language, attitude etc... this girl was a bullie/troll you can not handle with ignore "have a nice day" type cause she will smell blood and double down(like she did)... In some cases if you hold frame "similar to my suggestion" she will chill.... darknight has the right idea in his answer with the momentum stuff as well.....

 

[DarkKnight]

darknight has the right idea in his answer with the momentum stuff as well.....

Thank you. I honestly believe that when someone is shook as OP describes you probably had the feeling you really lost something. I mean the guy mentions wanting to TRE to shake it off a day after starting the post. In other words he is a bit traumatized by the affair.

Looking at the girl and smirking with contempt or amusement (this is better) something minor would have protected his frame and made the impact of her behavior weaker. It would have lowered the feeling of "fleeing". This would have prevented him from fully engaging but still would have protected his frame. It would have also enboldened him that he can handle it (which lowers stress) when this happens the next time.

People really underestimate the results of actions into your state. I believe like you said all of our answers have some truth in it, but I certainly do not agree with those who preach unreactivity to the max. It just comes across as too theoretical. Hell I have seen you @Skills tell amog types to fuck off on your website lol. This whole monk bullshit is unrealistic. Protecting your frame , is important. Especially if these events can shake you for days as OP described.

 

[Tim Iron]

FOR NEWBIES: Let’s say you approach a girl in a coffee shop/bar/lounge/night club/grocery store and she insults you by saying "fuck off" ... if you decide to escalate, you could create more problems than you can handle (the staff would be on her side because you approached her). If you escalate it because you must "save your testosterone" nobody here would be there to save you if things get really nasty.

Personally, the instant I hear a rude tone of voice from a woman, I exit. I don't stay there to hear the full insult... I advise that you do the same.

Be sensible... don't go about starting fights simply because you can't walk away from a rude person or because someone told you to fight back - you alone would bear the consequences of your actions.

 

[DarkKnight]

If you escalate it because you must "save your testosterone" nobody here would be there to save you if things get really nasty.

This is obviously gear towards me. Deep sigh. Escalating is something completely different than what I wrote. Retorting and leaving is not staying around and throwing haymakers. Retorting can also be nonverbal but I already wrote this didnt I? You just skimmed probably read testosterone and replied. It is obvious you didnt get what I tried to get across, then again I dont care that much.

Also if things "get real nasty". I swear you people hugely overblow things. What is going to happen by retorting to someone, is a mob going to pursue you with pitchforks and torches?

Laughable. How fearful are you people really?

 

[Tim Iron]

This is obviously gear towards me. Deep sigh. Escalating is something completely different than what I wrote. Retorting and leaving is not staying around and throwing haymakers. Retorting can also be nonverbal but I already wrote this didnt I? You just skimmed probably read testosterone and replied. It is obvious you didnt get what I tried to get across, then again I dont care that much.

Also if things "get real nasty". I swear you people hugely overblow things. What is going to happen by retorting to someone, is a mob going to pursue you with pitchforks and torches?

Laughable. How fearful are you people really?

Yes, we are extremely fearful... Have a nice day!

 

[DarkKnight]

Yes, we are extremely fearful... Have a nice day!

Great argumentation. I am impressed. Yeah gonna have that nice day now after this laughable distraction.

 

[Will_V]

Let's put things in context.

A random girl the OP doesn't even know called him dumb and short. Part of seduction is learning that women are harmless, it's OK to be rejected, it's OK to make a bad first impression when you're learning, it's OK to get a bad response, it's not the end of the world. This is an experience I think the OP will quickly file away as irrelevant as they keep on learning.

Part of seduction also, in my opinion, is learning that you don't have to react to anything you don't want to. You can stay cool, you can maneuver, you can keep smiling as girls test you or get bitchy. It's no big deal. They won't fight you or shoot you. If you don't believe me, take your next girlfriend to the gym and have her hit the bag as hard as she can. It'll be like a fly ran into it.

If you want to say something like "hey no need to be nasty, you don't know me" or something like that, to cement your frame, then cool. I think that's not a bad idea. But in the end it's probably not going to achieve anything, and unless she's super hot, why not dump her first? Isn't that the most egoistic thing you can do?

But just think about this, when you retort to her, you are expecting a reaction that you want. What if it has the opposite effect? What if she insults you even more, even worse? If you couldn't walk away before, what makes you think you could walk away then? With every word that comes out of your mouth, your ego gets more invested and takes more of a hit by walking away.

Since you can't guarantee she'll back down, eventually you'll have to walk away anyway. The less you invest, the easier it is.

The other thing is, daygame needs to be waaay more socially aware than night game. Neither of you are drinking, there is no context for meeting. You have literally come out of nowhere and come up to her as she goes about her business. There's a reason why it's much harder than hitting on girls in a bar.

If you want to be able to do that again and again and again without anxiety, with a rock solid positive vibe, you know what's best? Just be nice, regardless, and selfish with who and what gets your attention. Treat yourself like a man with such a wealth of social riches that extracting a few cents from some crazy bitch means nothing to you. That's the kind of vibe that people love and respect, it's the kind of vibe that makes other people come to your aid and support you without even asking.

And in the end, it is social grace that we desire from this game - the grace to walk around and be admired for the way we carry ourselves, to be able to choose what we invest in or don't, to attract the attention and adoration of people we hardly know. And to do this we must leave it to the pawns to get their buttons pushed, to scuffle and yell and engage in their zero sum games, while we craft ourselves for the reality that we are building for ourselves day by day, with the people we choose to give a place in it.