How to know if the girl is locked in or converted

[mirror]

Now guys this is really over right?

Anyway to get something sort of break-up sex with her?

Or turn things over call?

Freeze. Just freeze. You need a break, clear your head, get away / get out. you are getting needy and that is NOT, I repeat, NOT healthy.

She still exists, dont worry about her losing interest in you.
Just address a part of your own inner issues first, before trying to get her to commit to you.

You can pick it up at a better place than it is left right now if you do it right, but seriously. just chill please. it's going to end quicker if you go down this path. i know you can't see it right now, but we can.

 

[empath]

And we have a WINNER @TomInHo !! Ding Ding Ding.

This is the core of what i am reading here happening, why she doesnt take you seriously @empath

I can't link you resources right now, but I think I am going to write a whole hellish post on it.

Looking forward to it.

Seriously, how to have fun is I need to learn.

 

[mirror]

Looking forward to it.

Seriously, how to have fun is I need to learn.

By letting go of the ego =) don't worry about how people view you, but focus outward on what would make them or the situation interesting to you.

 

[empath]

An update -

Now after we last met.

We both made plans to meet around 6-7 times within the span of two months but she always flaked in the end.

finally it pissed me off enough to tell her let’s end this it is not working or we be together

Finally she decided to meet me yesterday.

Now when we meet she said she has feelings for me but is not sure about being in love with me.

she is scared if are together and I pull the same shit on her and use information she gave me in anger on her again.

She said she needs time to sort her feelings but don’t know how long.

she is unable to forgive me.

but can’t let go of me as well.

she was touchy and everything.

she said if she is able to sort out her feelings she will be all in.

But she don’t want me to be stuck.

I asked her if I had left her without saying anything would she had felt bad she said yes.

now she texted me again in morning all herself.

Also, whatever she has to sort out she said she can’t discuss with me because I will say things about myself in positive light.

nor, she can discuss with her friends cause its too personal.

Now I was happy and confident because whoever girl ever had feelings for never had let go of me.

but what is bugging me is I keep seeing a profile on dating app where we met which looks like her profile.

she did not used pictures first time. So, I am not sure.

probably she is making that profile and deleting it again. Caus

It is causing insecurity in me.

now if I ask this over text or call she will deny me so I need to do it in person but getting her out is very tough.

How should I go about it?

option 1 is to just wait for her.

let her make a plan and when I meet just discuss it I will know everything from her face and body language.


I don’t know how long she will take to meet me again.

option two is force a meet

by giving her space of two three days

and say I have made my decision

I know solution to your problem meet me in next 5 days or I am out of it.

I don’t want to lose more time if she is using dating app.

one more option is to just send her a screenshot of her dating app profile and ask if its her.

what should I do?

also, she confirmed she is fearful of relationship and shuts down her feeling and it never takes her this long to make decision.

 

[topcat]

An update -

Now after we last met.

We both made plans to meet around 6-7 times within the span of two months but she always flaked in the end.

finally it pissed me off enough to tell her let’s end this it is not working or we be together

Finally she decided to meet me yesterday.

Now when we meet she said she has feelings for me but is not sure about being in love with me.

she is scared if are together and I pull the same shit on her and use information she gave me in anger on her again.

She said she needs time to sort her feelings but don’t know how long.

she is unable to forgive me.

but can’t let go of me as well.

she was touchy and everything.

she said if she is able to sort out her feelings she will be all in.

But she don’t want me to be stuck.

I asked her if I had left her without saying anything would she had felt bad she said yes.

now she texted me again in morning all herself.

Also, whatever she has to sort out she said she can’t discuss with me because I will say things about myself in positive light.

nor, she can discuss with her friends cause its too personal.

Now I was happy and confident because whoever girl ever had feelings for never had let go of me.

but what is bugging me is I keep seeing a profile on dating app where we met which looks like her profile.

she did not used pictures first time. So, I am not sure.

probably she is making that profile and deleting it again. Caus

It is causing insecurity in me.

now if I ask this over text or call she will deny me so I need to do it in person but getting her out is very tough.

How should I go about it?

option 1 is to just wait for her.

let her make a plan and when I meet just discuss it I will know everything from her face and body language.


I don’t know how long she will take to meet me again.

option two is force a meet

by giving her space of two three days

and say I have made my decision

I know solution to your problem meet me in next 5 days or I am out of it.

I don’t want to lose more time if she is using dating app.

one more option is to just send her a screenshot of her dating app profile and ask if its her.

what should I do?

also, she confirmed she is fearful of relationship and shuts down her feeling and it never takes her this long to make decision.

My boy. She is firmly in control of the dynamic and your emotions.

 

[empath]

My boy. She is firmly in control of the dynamic and your emotions.

Well she is, how to flip the dynamics now?

Should I decrease my investment?

It will be going back on chill mode.

Cancel few plans with her, be more busy?

flake on her?

well somehow though she will be an eternal chase I think I can make monogamy work from my side with her, I wont get bored.

Though still I need to be sure about her fidelity

 

[topcat]

well somehow though she will be an eternal chase I think I can make monogamy work from my side with her, I wont get bored.

Though still I need to be sure about her fidelity

You’re blind bruv. She’s stringing you along by your hopes and dreams.

Do you.

 

[empath]

You’re blind bruv. She’s stringing you along by your hopes and dreams.

Do you.

Ok, I have decided to cut my loss and move on from this.

Thanks I needed this.

I have this last question though.

I am asking because you also have an avoidant attachment style. (I don’t know if yours is because of fear or losing independence or hedonism)

Her is because of fear it seems.

So, if I say her that I have made my decision and I think I am not right guy for you.

lets move on.

what will be her response to it?

will she try to chase me or it will be final end from both side she will take word for it.

 

[topcat]

So, if I say her that I have made my decision and I think I am not right guy for you.

lets move on.

what will be her response to it?

I would tell her “cool, do what is right for you”.

Not sure what she would say.