How to proceed when she has a boyfriend? This is how i did it, tell me your thoughts

Phoenix

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
349
So, i used to believe when i started up my career with pick-up and seduction, that you shouldn't be LJBF'd by a woman or tell a woman you just wanna be her friend, if you plan on sleeping with her. After having hundreds of approaches and conversations under my belt i have had to face, that some of my beliefs weren't so black and white. One of them was realizing the whole secret society thing, where you had to present things in one way on the surface level, while sneaking her with you below the radar. I very quickly stopped taking "I don't sleep with guys on the first date" at face value and just playfully let it slide or being like "Ah cool" and then just proceed like nothing. It gives her plausible deniability and you just shut off her programming and logical brain while allowing her to go by her feelings. "Well i told him we weren't gonna have sex, so i'm not guilty for when we had sex, it is his fault, because i had already told him we weren't going to. My hands are cleans" i imagine her reasoning goes. (LR where i handle her objection)

This brings me to the boyfriend thing. I had this amazing conversation with a girl today. She didn't bring up her boyfriend at any point, she invested plenty into the conversation etc. I thought we had wrapped it up and i said "It has been cool talking to you, would you like to go for a walk at XX park some time?" and she says "Ahh i have a boyfriend" and idk why but my go to reaction for that is always "Ah is she sweet?" and they always go "haha it's a dude" (actually met a lesbian today who said yes it's a she, pretty funny) but this girl was like "... she?" and i say "Oh it's not a she?" and then looked at her with poker face and a lil smirk "Gosh, then i'm out of ideas" and then just kept talking with her and said "We can just do it as friends" and she was like "Ah okay, i just thought since you told me in the beginning you thought i looked cute and blah blah" and i just said "Yeah, you are very cute. So am i, i'm very cute, lots of people are cute, no big deal" and she laughed and agreed to go out and took her number. I handled the frame thing well i think.

She haven't texted me back yet but letting her go at "i have a boyfriend" would have a 100% fail rate as you are basically rejecting yourself, whereas with this strategy there might be a small chance that she's gonna come out on a date. When she's on the date with you, you can just give her plausible deniability while turning her on and stimulating her emotions, pull her home and isolate and arouse her etc. Maybe even throw in some gambits about how being more open to new experiences and giving one another space to enjoy life can strengthen the bond between you or some shit. Then she's not gonna be like "but you told me we were going as friends!!" it's the secret society thing. Most girls get it, the mischevious wink and smirk. Saying one thing, but meaning another. Plausible deniability.

Thoughts?
 

Phoenix

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
349
It’s a shit test, plough through it.

her : IHABF

you : that’s really cute, you can go back to him after we’ve hung out

proceed as normal
That would still alarm her as we are going as more than "friends" and she would see it as being unfaithful. It doesn't give her plausible deniability.
 

Glow

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
250
i understand your mindset but its an inefficient strategy imo on this particular matter.

what i do is i respond care freely or playfuld-teasingly "oh i have a gold fish! etc " and then i probe where she is in the relationship and adjust my frames accordingly.

usual sometimes w traditional bf destroyers like "oh so when is the marriage" w a smirk - gets her to think about what she wants w him, is he marriage potential etc. and elicits a lot of good intel. the nlabelling on the insecurities and building them out. But also respecting if shes solid on it.

If she outlines that its fragile new, unsatisfying etc i might set frames like "i never really settle for much before i feel its something i feel certain in - it tends to end bad if i jump too fast into it and is not good for either" etc.

If girls are strong in the relation and its longer term i dont spend any time there cause itll be all trouble. If its newer or lighter i just run my usual game while diligently paying attention to it and i often formulate it with them showing insight and understanding of her situation.

eg "yeah this is why i asked a lil to understand where you were in the relation. would want to do anything if it was more serious but i also note that quality girls always see someone." has been used more than once..
 
Last edited:

Will_V

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 24, 2021
Messages
91
So, i used to believe when i started up my career with pick-up and seduction, that you shouldn't be LJBF'd by a woman or tell a woman you just wanna be her friend, if you plan on sleeping with her. After having hundreds of approaches and conversations under my belt i have had to face, that some of my beliefs weren't so black and white. One of them was realizing the whole secret society thing, where you had to present things in one way on the surface level, while sneaking her with you below the radar. I very quickly stopped taking "I don't sleep with guys on the first date" at face value and just playfully let it slide or being like "Ah cool" and then just proceed like nothing. It gives her plausible deniability and you just shut off her programming and logical brain while allowing her to go by her feelings. "Well i told him we weren't gonna have sex, so i'm not guilty for when we had sex, it is his fault, because i had already told him we weren't going to. My hands are cleans" i imagine her reasoning goes. (LR where i handle her objection)

This brings me to the boyfriend thing. I had this amazing conversation with a girl today. She didn't bring up her boyfriend at any point, she invested plenty into the conversation etc. I thought we had wrapped it up and i said "It has been cool talking to you, would you like to go for a walk at XX park some time?" and she says "Ahh i have a boyfriend" and idk why but my go to reaction for that is always "Ah is she sweet?" and they always go "haha it's a dude" (actually met a lesbian today who said yes it's a she, pretty funny) but this girl was like "... she?" and i say "Oh it's not a she?" and then looked at her with poker face and a lil smirk "Gosh, then i'm out of ideas" and then just kept talking with her and said "We can just do it as friends" and she was like "Ah okay, i just thought since you told me in the beginning you thought i looked cute and blah blah" and i just said "Yeah, you are very cute. So am i, i'm very cute, lots of people are cute, no big deal" and she laughed and agreed to go out and took her number. I handled the frame thing well i think.

She haven't texted me back yet but letting her go at "i have a boyfriend" would have a 100% fail rate as you are basically rejecting yourself, whereas with this strategy there might be a small chance that she's gonna come out on a date. When she's on the date with you, you can just give her plausible deniability while turning her on and stimulating her emotions, pull her home and isolate and arouse her etc. Maybe even throw in some gambits about how being more open to new experiences and giving one another space to enjoy life can strengthen the bond between you or some shit. Then she's not gonna be like "but you told me we were going as friends!!" it's the secret society thing. Most girls get it, the mischevious wink and smirk. Saying one thing, but meaning another. Plausible deniability.

Thoughts?

The problem with your response is that while it gives her plausible deniability, it gives you none. She could easily turn it around on you to save face if you did something awkward, because you gave a clear statement, and not only that, but she already pushed for a second clarification (even if you didn't really give it).

My instinct would be to reframe it and reinforce a slightly less sexual frame, like "hey I'm not trying to be your boyfriend, I just thought we could walk and talk and continue this fun conversation". Since women find it hard to put a man on the spot and challenge his frame (unless he hands her something on a platter) she's extremely unlikely to go "I don't mean boyfriend, are you trying to be my lover?". She'll probably just focus on whether she likes you or not in the moment and decide on that.
 
Top