How to respond to people whispering and laughing at you?

[Kaida]

So a little context:

Occasionally this girl i know will secretly take a video of my shoes or my clothes or something and send it to the group chat just for laughs. She’ll do other weird stuff too like ask me “why are you wearing pink?” or smth dumb like that.

A little while ago a situation happened where this one girl took someone aside and was whispering and laughing at my clothes or something. I really didn’t know how to respond at the moment so I just walked away.


She can be a decent person at times tho. I can tell she’s a little socially clueless too. I think she only continues the behavior because she gets decent reactions around 20% of the time, and not necessarily me.



So, if people are laughing at you (or asking you testy screeny questions) in social circle , how do you respond?

To clarify: this girl is not my friend at all, just an annoying acquaintance that I am required to run into frequently

 

[Searcher]

So a little context:

Occasionally this girl i know will secretly take a video of my shoes or my clothes or something and send it to the group chat just for laughs. She’ll do other weird stuff too like ask me “why are you wearing pink?” or smth dumb like that.

A little while ago a situation happened where this one girl took someone aside and was whispering and laughing at my clothes or something. I really didn’t know how to respond at the moment so I just walked away.


She can be a decent person at times tho. I can tell she’s a little socially clueless too. I think she only continues the behavior because she gets decent reactions around 20% of the time, and not necessarily me.



So, if people are laughing at you (or asking you testy screeny questions) in social circle , how do you respond?

Treat her like a bratty kid asking questions.

In such cases I smirk and nod my head (as if looking at a kid doing stupid things).

If you want to respond say something like "It's adorable to see you obsessed with me like that"

If she continues do a '' then tell her that is enough fooling around and you can't take her seriously.

 

[Conquistador]

So a little context:

Occasionally this girl i know will secretly take a video of my shoes or my clothes or something and send it to the group chat just for laughs. She’ll do other weird stuff too like ask me “why are you wearing pink?” or smth dumb like that.

A little while ago a situation happened where this one girl took someone aside and was whispering and laughing at my clothes or something. I really didn’t know how to respond at the moment so I just walked away.


She can be a decent person at times tho. I can tell she’s a little socially clueless too. I think she only continues the behavior because she gets decent reactions around 20% of the time, and not necessarily me.



So, if people are laughing at you (or asking you testy screeny questions) in social circle , how do you respond?

Either ignore them if they're being stupid, or if it is in fact funny, laugh with them, or even better, laugh at yourself first.
HS has lots of immature people. That's just how it is.

 

[Fuck This]

My cousin is the King of DILLIGAF. He would be aloof and women just seemed to be drawn to it.

I recall in high school he wore those ugly duck boots to school. I'd have been mortified just as you described...but he acted like it was no big deal ..."So What? My feet are dry."

Gaelic Storm even wrote a song about it...

 

[tov]

So, if people are laughing at you (or asking you testy screeny questions) in social circle , how do you respond?

Man, maybe I'm old but fuck that noise. Why hang out with people that laugh at or mock you?

Like, sure, once in a while someone has a joke at your expense, that's social dynamics. But damn. For it to keep happening and me keep coming back to that group? I don't know man.

 

[Kaida]

Man, maybe I'm old but fuck that noise. Why hang out with people that laugh at or mock you?

Like, sure, once in a while someone has a joke at your expense, that's social dynamics. But damn. For it to keep happening and me keep coming back to that group? I don't know man.

You dont understand. She’s NOT my friend, and I dont hang around her voluntarily. She’s in my class and track team and continues to do stuff like this.

Simply not doing anything is bad because this is social circle. Reputation is king. You want to demand respect or else you wont get what you want.

Even if the person the person is gossiping with is cool with me, if they continue to see me not do anything about it or at least frame it a certain way they’ll slowly lose respect for me.

If it was a random stranger I don't know and wouldn't be likely to see again laughing at me like this, I wouldn’t even react.

 

[tov]

and I dont hang around her voluntarily. She’s in my class and track team and continues to do stuff like this.

I didn't realize you were in school. Take it on the chin and move on would be my suggestion. Life's too short for haters my dude.

if they continue to see me not do anything about it or at least frame it a certain way they’ll slowly lose respect for me.

Man, that's not my experience in life. And if it is the case, I'd not hang out with those people. Everyone I know talks shit about people that talk shit, not the person being degraded in public/shamed by the group.

But, maybe life's different these days. I know when I was younger I sure thought they were.

 

[tov]

To be more helpful, maybe I can give a larger goal to focus on instead of the person talking shit: generating so much 'clout' or 'social proof' _away from them_ that every time she talks shit, _someone else_ defends you.

 

[Zoro]

What do you clothes look like? Are you giving them a reason to laugh? Seems strange to laugh at some shoes, but if they are unusual or very dirty and wore out, that might be something you want to address.

I assume you already know this, but something doesn't add up.

 

[Kaida]

What do you clothes look like? Are you giving them a reason to laugh? Seems strange to laugh at some shoes, but if they are unusual or very dirty and wore out, that might be something you want to address.

I assume you already know this, but something doesn't add up.

Theres no real reason to laugh. The shoes I was wearing were usual yes, but usual in a cool way. They were the balenciaga shoes that look like socks. People gave me positive / neutral comments about them so that means they were noticeable.

Sometimes I’ll wear outfits that are nice but are pretty attention grabbing like a tight fitting all pink or all white. Again, I get compliments / neutral comments all day.( I get a lot of comments particularly about how tight my shirts are).

But this particular person will wait till the class is quiet and then ask out of nowhere “Why are your shirts tight?” “Why are you wearing all white?” or “Are those shoes real?” or some other annoying thing in a judgy voice.

What I think is happening is that in the past I actually have done some unusual stuff and she teased me about it and got a very good crowd reaction. Now she keeps seeking the reaction, even on things that are not really unusual. She still gets polite laughs as a positive reinforcement so that’s probably why she keeps going.

This particular girl is not as big a deal as this post may make it seem (in the past she was). However, if I was better equipped to handle things like this I could squash this buf along with a few others.

 

[Fuck This]

Agree and amplify..."I had a fancy pair of Jordans but they got stolen...Nobody tries to steal THESE!"

The other option is to rise above it. You gotta have rock solid self confidence, and laugh about her trying to make you look bad. Same way celebrities laugh at their haters. With a touch of pity.
"What's the matter Hannah,? Gotta run me down so you feel better about yourself? Don't worry, I'll still talk to you ...I'm nice like that...I forgive you."

 

[D. Gately]

I guarantee if you start making fat jokes about her she will insta-stop messing with you.

It obvs doesn't matter what her weight is.

'Hide your twinkies, here comes Karen,'
"muffin tops are still not a sexy look'
"Hey Karen, in health class we found out your blood type was BBQ sauce,' etc.

Even not-as-funny ones will re-focus the attention on her and her weight and that's not what she wants. And whining about it will show her to be a loserbitch who can dish it but not take it.

It also establishes you as a DGAF guy who can't be fcked without repurcussions.

Or, obviously, just ignore her and move on with your life. Some people will get you and some won't, and that will never change my friend.