how to respond to this mood killer?

antidox

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Mar 27, 2023
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hi guys, i've had a few failed escalation attempts with this chick, each failed attempt has been an lmr marathon.

i'm mostly met with very girly high pitched "no"'s or "you can't do that" which has a cutesy vibe to it but it seems too persistent to be token resistance, she has a vice like grip and then the ultimate mood killer "do you not know what no means?" I have no idea how to respond to this, it completely puts me off.

she keeps coming up to me, inviting me back, she's obviously interested but this mood killer stops me. i've tried ignoring it as her body language is very enthusiastic but if she says it again i doubt myself and stop.

AntiDox
 

ulrich

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Oct 21, 2019
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1,651
When she says that do you keep plowing?
Have you tried interrupting it totally, do something else entirely different and then try again 15-20 minutes later?
 

Surveyor

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Expressing your desire verbally, and making her feel desired, can help. Building comfort is also key.
You need to understand why exactly she’s resisting. Not keep bashing your head into the wall.
 

antidox

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Mar 27, 2023
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@ulrich i've tried interrupting it totally before it's got to that point. at that point i've tried interrupting it totally, taking a few steps back, stopping altogether and plowing on, all of which ends the same.

i have read every article, followed every guidance, tried every tip and technique, fractionate, take steps back, stop, interrupt, burst of passion, building comfort, expressing my desire verbally, making her feel desired, plowing on when it feels like token resistance but the mood killer stops me.

@Surveyor i've tried that, i don't understand exactly why she's resisting. i've addressed all concerns raised, so there's probably an underlying issue, self pleasure/lmr paradox will give additional context for this chick.

AntiDox
 

Will_V

Chieftan
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You have to be more clear as to what exact point she becomes uncomfortable as there's no universal way of dealing with lmr.

Is she just reacting to tension? Something I like to do with shy girls is give her a back massage and after 5-10 minutes or so, tell her to take off her bra as it's 'getting in the way'. Then keep going for a while, go further down the body, and do the same for the panties. That way things proceed in a very comfortable way and she slowly becomes relaxed with more and more intimate touch, without the tension of being face to face.

(Be cautious here) but if her body language is enthusiastic and compliant you might want to try simply going a little further when she does this - and then holding there for a while to see how she responds. And maybe even go back a few steps and try have her come after you a bit. You want to be firm but always attentive to how she's responding, and ease off if she's at all uncomfortable.

Something you can do if all else fails is simply call it out - in a very positive and warm way of course. Something along the lines of 'hey I know we're having fun here and you love having my hands on you but when you say 'no means no' it actually sounds like you're serious'. And see what she says. If she cannot see the issue or isn't willing to clarify things after that, she's probably not a very stable person.
..

ps sometimes the issue is that a girl has a concept of how sex should happen (from meeting point onward) and when things deviate too much from that she gets a psychological barrier. I've mentioned on here a couple of times Chicken Soup Girl who gave me loads of lmr, I probably spent a couple of hours at the point of having her panties off but she would not part with them. I invited her to stay the night, she left in the morning with a positive vibe. So next time I brought her over I took her to the supermarket, we got ingredients for chicken soup, and as we watched it boil away suddenly she was 100% green light and even initiated herself. Something about the intimacy and comfort of cooking together seems to have dissolved her resistance.

Sometimes it's just intuition but what concept might this girl have of courtship that you are contradicting?
 
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antidox

Space Monkey
space monkey
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thanks @Will_V the exact point she becomes uncomfortable depends if you mean the point of resistance or the point of the ultimate mood killer.

she resists immediately upon touching her hips/bottom of top/top of pants, i've kept my hands moving and kept kissing as a distraction and to get her comfortable with the touch and it's reinforced with positive body language and enthusiastic consent. i can push through the initial resistance to go under her top but i can't get it off.

i have tried every last lmr advice from every article going multiple times, the ultimate mood killer comes at random at any point after persisting and gently pushing further. i have tried holding for a while to see how she responds, it's usually the mood killer and it's possibly a result of tension that she doesn't know how to deal with. she usually giggles when there's a lot of tension.

i'll try the back massage to eliminate being face to face and if that doesn't work i'll try calling it out in a warm way.

i think she has a disney fantasy of courtship and believes we need to be in a relationship. she seems very playground mentality that the boy should ask her out and make it official.

there's additional context in the latest self pleasure / lmr paradox post it is the same chick

AntiDox
 

Will_V

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I think in this case, since the obstacle seems to be in her concept of sex itself, it's probably not so much about taking her clothes off the 'right way' but managing her overall perception of you, her and what is going on.

Something I did with the above mentioned girl was that I handled her a lot and regularly pretty much as soon as we went in the door - kissing hungrily, gripping her hair, pulling her in and squeezing her butt, sliding my hands up under her top and down under the back of her panties (she swatted that one away, but I kept doing it every now and then and just smiled and looked her in the eye whenever she reacted), etc. When we were nearly at the point of having sex and she was down to the panties I'd regularly grab her pussy and rub her before she pulled away, smile and tell her she was wet and wanted to feel me inside etc. And this resistance was very hard for her to keep up because it took effort for her to overcome her own horniness and refuse a guy who obviously wanted nothing more than to fill her up.

She has to know first of all that you are a hungry dude and you want to fuck her and you aren't going to change this while she's there, she can leave if she wants but if she stays there's not going to be any disney bs. Otherwise she will think that there's an alternate reality she might be able to access in which somehow she stays in love with you while you two never bang. While the reality is that she's there exactly because you aren't the kind of guy who lets that happen :rolleyes:

Then (if you want her enough and have patience) mix it in with other rapport building things, like the cooking, deep conversations (this girl I mentioned was very smart and loved talking about about random semi-scientific topics), a bit of cuddling, etc. But never stop showing her the werewolf, never let her forget who you are.

At the end of the day she has to really feel the pressure of your desires nearly to the point of not feeling in control, but then also that you're willing to show her another side of yourself as well that she can rationalize as being the reason why she ends up going ahead.

But you, you have to always stay cheerful and warm, showing desire and patience but never annoyance or anxiety, and if you've had enough, simply bring up that you are a dude who values sex in relationships or whatever, and if she's not down, move on before you end up messing up your own vibe. Sex shouldn't be that hard to accomplish if she wants it, and if she can't submit to her own desires, too bad for her, you're not her therapist.
 

antidox

Space Monkey
space monkey
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Mar 27, 2023
Messages
29
thanks @Will_V glad to know i'm in the right track with my actions. i've handled her regularly and got her very addicted to my touch, i pounce immediately with hungry kissing, grabbing her hair, pulling her in, squeezing her, she's on board with all of this with very enthusiastic consent.

i've kept showing the werewolf, she keeps inviting me back, i don't hide my desire and build in the rapport things. i swear blind she's been at the point of not feeling in control and acting on her desire, though she did shut it down.

i've always been cheerful, warm and patient. she's commented how persistent and how confident i am with it so i've never been annoyed or frustrated with her. that said i have been at the point of giving up because it shouldn't be this difficult to get what we both want. we should be working together, not creating obstacles.

ngl the mood killer stops the werewolf, or puts him in the sin bin. it hasn't stopped me trying again a 2-15 minutes later 😅 i'm thinking of going full werewolf and then calmly calling it out.

AntiDox
 
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