How to revert the precedent of paying for dates?

[770]

Seeing this girl just had our fourth little date. Had sex on each date since the 2nd date. Mostly sex at our places and eating/drinking and walking around. I would prefer to split tbh is there a way to come back from paying fully for her. I did discuss with her and she did state that she was a little surprised I didn’t ask to split but that she also prefers and enjoys to be taken care of.

Since I plan on going a lot of dates in the near feature with various women I would appreciate any advice on this. I do prefer splitting the bill and I’m only 24 so it’s not too unreasonable, but I generally think it’s good to pay for the first date but I would like her to start contributing as I think it makes her more invested in me

 

[mirror]

Look, if i read it, you just dont want to be spending a lot of.money. this to me signals you need to change the dates to homedates or cheaper venues. Having a girl pay is a nogo from my perspective.

 

[Ratata]

Excuse me for being a bit forward and rude right now but... Do you really think taking her for dinner is the only way to take a girl on a date? Are you really that dull?

This is probably gonna sting a bit, but the second you brought up that thing with her, you probably lost a few points. You might even lose the entire lay. Unless you broach it in a very casual way. Cuz if this is a big deal to you, it will become a big deal to her - and you don't want that. And I guess - to really answer your question - that's the key here. Be super casual about it. "Let's go for dinner. I'm broke atm so hope you don't mind splitting." Then change the topic. Broach it early. This is straight from negotiation manuals, btw. Always begin by ripping the band-aid off the bad news first, then sugar it, or change the topic fast so she forgets about the bad stuff, and rather start thinking about the good stuff.

You set the precedent. If you open that Pandora's box, she's gonna expect it. So, change it up. Don't have her expect things, especially not expensive things. Those are the special exceptions you use only on her birthday or if she gave you a spectacular bj. But if you already went there, just make sure the next few dates don't involve a dinner. That's all. Then have her make dinner next time. And all is forgotten.

With that said... I have money, so this is a rare problem for me, but even so I rarely if ever bring a girl on a dinner date unless I've already laid her, and then only if I know she'll be a worthwhile and interesting dinner companion. And you wanna know what, if you've already and sex with her, and it was good, more often than not she'll offer to pay the whole thing!

For one, she could come to your place and just see a movie. Or you could make dinner for her. Or you could tell her "Bring soup!" Or - hell - try this one for shits n giggles: "Make me a sandwich!" (No the last one's probably gonna backfire unless you're a serious dom, so steer clear of that one for now, for advanced users only k)

What happened to "take her for a milkshake?" It's the classic first date. Unless you're a coffee drinker. In which case you take her for a coffee. Which is great because it'll give the both of you a little buzz.

I went on the most glorious coffee date with this chick. Omg she bought a whole tray of espresso to me. When we were done with them all, my hands were shaking. During the thing she'd complain that she couldn't park her car anyway, and I asked her "wtf did you bring a lorry or something?" Turns out she brought a Humvee. I've never felt so unmanly as she drove me home... And - man - reaching over that huge space in there for a kiss... I can't recommend! But I digress. We were both so buzzed after that date, there was no time for sleeping. Knock, knock, if you know what I mean.

Bottom line is, be a bit more creative. There are tons of ways to have a date that does not involve buying her dinner.

Rant over.

 

[770]

Excuse me for being a bit forward and rude right now but... Do you really think taking her for dinner is the only way to take a girl on a date? Are you really that dull?

This is probably gonna sting a bit, but the second you brought up that thing with her, you probably lost a few points. You might even lose the entire lay. Unless you broach it in a very casual way. Cuz if this is a big deal to you, it will become a big deal to her - and you don't want that. And I guess - to really answer your question - that's the key here. Be super casual about it. "Let's go for dinner. I'm broke atm so hope you don't mind splitting." Then change the topic. Broach it early. This is straight from negotiation manuals, btw. Always begin by ripping the band-aid off the bad news first, then sugar it, or change the topic fast so she forgets about the bad stuff, and rather start thinking about the good stuff.

You set the precedent. If you open that Pandora's box, she's gonna expect it. So, change it up. Don't have her expect things, especially not expensive things. Those are the special exceptions you use only on her birthday or if she gave you a spectacular bj. But if you already went there, just make sure the next few dates don't involve a dinner. That's all. Then have her make dinner next time. And all is forgotten.

With that said... I have money, so this is a rare problem for me, but even so I rarely if ever bring a girl on a dinner date unless I've already laid her, and then only if I know she'll be a worthwhile and interesting dinner companion. And you wanna know what, if you've already and sex with her, and it was good, more often than not she'll offer to pay the whole thing!

For one, she could come to your place and just see a movie. Or you could make dinner for her. Or you could tell her "Bring soup!" Or - hell - try this one for shits n giggles: "Make me a sandwich!" (No the last one's probably gonna backfire unless you're a serious dom, so steer clear of that one for now, for advanced users only k)

What happened to "take her for a milkshake?" It's the classic first date. Unless you're a coffee drinker. In which case you take her for a coffee. Which is great because it'll give the both of you a little buzz.

I went on the most glorious coffee date with this chick. Omg she bought a whole tray of espresso to me. When we were done with them all, my hands were shaking. During the thing she'd complain that she couldn't park her car anyway, and I asked her "wtf did you bring a lorry or something?" Turns out she brought a Humvee. I've never felt so unmanly as she drove me home... And - man - reaching over that huge space in there for a kiss... I can't recommend! But I digress. We were both so buzzed after that date, there was no time for sleeping. Knock, knock, if you know what I mean.

Bottom line is, be a bit more creative. There are tons of ways to have a date that does not involve buying her dinner.

Rant over.

I get that but did you read the context, I already been intimate with this girl many times

 

[POB]

This:

Date Plans - How to not pay for dates (101 on how to save money while still being a gentleman)

"You should always split the bill so 304s will not take advantage of you" G-zus if sometimes red pill guys are retarted when it comes to dates. Let's analize a little bit what this "I'll never pay for dates" mantra will acomplish for you: - she will think you are not a "gentleman"; - you'll...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[fury661]

If you're going to go on a lot of dates soon.... Cocktail dates or bust. There's no reason to do otherwise.

Been on a lot of dates this year and I only had one girl "complain" about not having dinner on the date.

There was no date. I ghosted her.

Do you feel comfortable asking girls on cocktail dates only?

 

[Ratata]

I get that but did you read the context, I already been intimate with this girl many times

I might have missed that actually. Sorry about that. Then it's indeed about the precedent you already set.
The general principles still applies tho. Do something else for a while before doing dinners again. And when you get back to dinners, set the expectation early on - that you're splitting the bill.

You can warm her up to it too, tell her "omg I broke the bank on whatever whatever oh god I'm so broke right now, hope you don't mind splitting on our next meal, change the topic." If you feel playful, puppy eyes, like kitten eyes, then "Will you be my sugarmommy?" It's just a joke, never say shit like that if you're serious. Or idk do it for science but I can't guarantee the outcome!

I have this friend; he was 31 when he dated this super hot 18 year old girl. Like that isn't bad enough, she paid for everything. He's very good at eliciting emotions, and getting those motherly feelings of compassion out of women. Like, when he talks to women on the phone, it's like hearing a cat purr. It's all baby talk. It's ... It's uncanny! For lack of better words, it's zero logic and only pillow-esque emotion-talk. It's more of an emotional connection over voice than an actual conversation. And it puts these women into some kind of a trance-like state.

When they started dating, he lost his job (I mean, of course he did), and talked with her about it (again, with baby talk - hard to explain, like the entire thing is an emotional humm), so .. they agreed that he should move into her little girl's room at (wait for it) her parents house! And they agreed to it too!!! I tell you, this guy has some serious social superpowers. After a while the parents got fed up with it, though. So... They had them move into this big city apartment they owned. For free!!!!!!! A big, beautiful central apartment, for freaking free! This guy shot the golden goose or something. While dating a girl 13 years younger than him. Wtf!

Well, after about a year of dating, they broke up. But stayed on good terms. The parent thought it was kind of unfair that he still got the apartment for free, so this time he had to pay rent. So, they agreed to charge him 100 dollars a month... I'm fairly sure they still lost money on the deal. And he kept living there for like five more years or something, until he met the girl he's living with now.

What an amazing piece of work. Definitively worth a scientific study.

 

[770]

I might have missed that actually. Sorry about that. Then it's indeed about the precedent you already set.
The general principles still applies tho. Do something else for a while before doing dinners again. And when you get back to dinners, set the expectation early on - that you're splitting the bill.

You can warm her up to it too, tell her "omg I broke the bank on whatever whatever oh god I'm so broke right now, hope you don't mind splitting on our next meal, change the topic." If you feel playful, puppy eyes, like kitten eyes, then "Will you be my sugarmommy?" It's just a joke, never say shit like that if you're serious. Or idk do it for science but I can't guarantee the outcome!

I have this friend; he was 31 when he dated this super hot 18 year old girl. Like that isn't bad enough, she paid for everything. He's very good at eliciting emotions, and getting those motherly feelings of compassion out of women. Like, when he talks to women on the phone, it's like hearing a cat purr. It's all baby talk. It's ... It's uncanny! For lack of better words, it's zero logic and only pillow-esque emotion-talk. It's more of an emotional connection over voice than an actual conversation. And it puts these women into some kind of a trance-like state.

When they started dating, he lost his job (I mean, of course he did), and talked with her about it (again, with baby talk - hard to explain, like the entire thing is an emotional humm), so .. they agreed that he should move into her little girl's room at (wait for it) her parents house! And they agreed to it too!!! I tell you, this guy has some serious social superpowers. After a while the parents got fed up with it, though. So... They had them move into this big city apartment they owned. For free!!!!!!! A big, beautiful central apartment, for freaking free! This guy shot the golden goose or something. While dating a girl 13 years younger than him. Wtf!

Well, after about a year of dating, they broke up. But stayed on good terms. The parent thought it was kind of unfair that he still got the apartment for free, so this time he had to pay rent. So, they agreed to charge him 100 dollars a month... I'm fairly sure they still lost money on the deal. And he kept living there for like five more years or something, until he met the girl he's living with now.

What an amazing piece of work. Definitively worth a scientific study.

Wow! Then maybe I'll tell her I got laid off and then ask her to start helping out with the date bills.

 

[POB]

If you're going to go on a lot of dates soon.... Cocktail dates or bust.

Uh, no.
Read the link I posted...there are other options.

BTW, nothing against cocktail dates.
Though I don't drink alcohol, so they are a no go for me.

 

[fury661]

Uh, no.
Read the link I posted...there are other options.

BTW, nothing against cocktail dates.
Though I don't drink alcohol, so they are a no go for me.

Dude - I missed that link because I thought it was quoting something else in the thread... I'm kind of new.

Thank you for pointing that out!

 

[POB]

Dude - I missed that link because I thought it was quoting something else in the thread... I'm kind of new.

Thank you for pointing that out!

No problem.
Welcome to the boards!

 

[fury661]

No problem.
Welcome to the boards!

I'm super excited to be here

I bought One Date earlier this year but never joined the Forums.

Then, I read the interview with Don Gately and it really inspired me. I wanted to join the boards after all the links in that article that pointed back to here.

I'm 43 and thinking about how to approach dating (after being in a marriage for 16 years).

 

[POB]

1) start a Journal.;
2) after you go in-field and come up with some questions, put them at the begginers or general board;
3) rinse and repeat;
4) share your success writing field reports;

Can't go wrong if you proceed like that.

 

[Skills]

I have been most of my life supported by women and i am the cheapest dude in the community probably the world...i still fail to understand the obsession with splitting encounters...i always pay if i get in those situations.... If you are already banging just do encounters at home or free or that barely cost anything... Get all your own stuff at home and lead... I also just did a video and post related

Date Night Dishes That Seal the Deal

In this video I teach how to make easy, quick and cheap meals that are conductive to seduction, why: -they don't cause blooding, gas, acid etc... -they are cheap and affordable -anti boyfriend/provider/courtship -they make you look healthy and fit and inspired them to do the same -they are...

www.skilledseducer.com

 

[Skills]

Seeing this girl just had our fourth little date. Had sex on each date since the 2nd date. Mostly sex at our places and eating/drinking and walking around. I would prefer to split tbh is there a way to come back from paying fully for her. I did discuss with her and she did state that she was a little surprised I didn’t ask to split but that she also prefers and enjoys to be taken care of.

Since I plan on going a lot of dates in the near feature with various women I would appreciate any advice on this. I do prefer splitting the bill and I’m only 24 so it’s not too unreasonable, but I generally think it’s good to pay for the first date but I would like her to start contributing as I think it makes her more invested in me

Don't get into paying situations date should not be more than 20 bucks... I have a post on how to date 101...

Seeing this girl just had our fourth little date. Had sex on each date since the 2nd date. Mostly sex at our places and eating/drinking and walking around. I would prefer to split tbh is there a way to come back from paying fully for her. I did discuss with her and she did state that she was a little surprised I didn’t ask to split but that she also prefers and enjoys to be taken care of.

Since I plan on going a lot of dates in the near feature with various women I would appreciate any advice on this. I do prefer splitting the bill and I’m only 24 so it’s not too unreasonable, but I generally think it’s good to pay for the first date but I would like her to start contributing as I think it makes her more invested in me

Learn the proper way to run a date, try not to get in specific paying scenarios and plan ahead... Always lead, learn how to run a date

Date Plans - The complete guide on How to date - Dating dynamics 101

Why listen to me on this, well i was never good at dating, i would either do ons or long texting (second gen/grandmaster) setting up sexual encounters or i would replicate what happened in the club a second time by doing a club date (since I am the highest value guy in the dance floor made...

www.skilledseducer.com