Lots of different ways, but it depends on context.
I'll just tell you what I want to do.
With night game, assuming you're still in stage 1 of the attempt, and you're trying to get traction/get to the point where she doesn't want you to leave.
If she's solo
- Stop her and ask questions about content. (you can put your hand up, to literally stop her, then make eye contact)
- Lemme get this straight
- And I put on a believable but skeptical face along with a questioning tone)
- You can keep stopping her to the point where she gets frustrated
- Baby, I'm trying to understand you.
- I'm trying to figure out if we would work (which is another emotional flank)
- Wait did you just say X/Y/Z - GET OUT (think Elaine from Seinfeld) - you have an over the top reaction to her errant word and then you out EMOTE HER.
- Stop her ask questions about subtext/context. (are you sure that's what they meant by that...)
- offering her an alternative read, will slow her down (usually), but also get her deeper in
- Psych/Cold Read stop- "I can tell you've been waiting your whole life to tell this story...." - this hits at an alternative and personal angle.
- You can double down with "You're speaking so passionately, can you see yourself there?..." - and start getting in NLP, vivid language, pop psych language etc. Just have her relive whatever it is she's telling you about.
If she's with friends, you involve the friends
- Playful Commentary on her behahvior to her friends
- Is she always like this?
- How do you take her anywhere?
- Have you heard this before?
- Transition back to them
- Is she lying to me?
- I don't believe y'all, All chicks stick together
- so How do you know each other...
- LIAR..
Now if she's yapping at you during the
trust/comfort stage, or when you're back at your place and you're trying FFWD to the good stuff - that's more of touch and go situation.
She might be trauma dumping, she might be talking herself into a negative spiral - both of which are unconscious (but sometimes conscious) last minute reluctance type tactics.
I used to go into therapist mode, but you gotta shake that blue pill thinking off. Too much letting her explore her feelings unmolested will push you into the friend zone, because you're someone she can talk to. (which low key, tells a lot of us that she likes to bang guys that she can't talk to, that she can't be honest with)
Chica - "you're not listening to me"
WIA - "Baby, I know what you're gonna say before you even say it. But I'm also listening to the REAL YOU that's underneath all that stuff" (This is some stuff from the Steve Harvey show, but it's very common outside of it. It's like knowing a baby is being fussy and out of sorts because they're hungry, not because they have something else going on with them)
^I want an
emotional re-direct, (a reframe if you will).
This works because
1) Chicks are obsessed with themselves and what others think of them, and how they come off,
2) on top of being more comfortable following your lead (and criticizing) rather than leading (and being criticized by you/others)
I swear this is some "pattern interrupt stuff", but I'm probably bastardizing that term.
Once you've broken her cycle, you can give a her a useful frame.
"I don't see a scared girl, I see a fearless one..."
It's only when we are scared that we can have courage.
I just want to empower her, put some agency back into her, and change the mood/emotions, and not so much her mind about whatever BS she's yapping about.
