What's new

How to split the bill on a date without making it awkward

Spike

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jan 30, 2025
Messages
256
So you have to know when its the right time to break pick up rules to get what you want
Imo whoever invites the person on the date pays. I invited the girl in the report on the date, so I paid. I was invited to an expensive dinner for a first date by a girl last month, she paid the entire bill

What kind of frame does it send if u invite a girl on a date and then ask if she can split the bill with you?
 

Kaida

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jul 6, 2020
Messages
652
I pay the entire bill

I try not to do dinner dates, but there have been a few times where I did because some girls were just too rigid and had a certain idea how things should go that no amount of "frame control" could fix (if that makes me a simp then so be it)

No biggie though, because as long as I was able to maintain a sexual vibe on the date things usually ended well :)

If she really likes you paying won't hurt you. But trying to avoid the bill can make it awkward for no reason

So you have to know when its the right time to break pick up rules to get what you want

Because at the end of the day none of this stuff is gospel. A lot of it is just opinion and personal experience marketed as science

IME flexibility wins if it maintains the vibe

And the frame is set by your overall vibe, not the bill

Saying to pay a little surprising from you, I remember reading you had relationships where the woman paid for everything. But obviously you have more power and more opportunities to reinforce your frame with a relationship.

And you’re right at the end of the day its all flexibility. I think I’ve reached the point where I can break those rules
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,482
Saying to pay a little surprising from you, I remember reading you had relationships where the woman paid for everything. But obviously you have more power and more opportunities to reinforce your frame with a relationship.

And you’re right at the end of the day its all flexibility. I think I’ve reached the point where I can break those rules
Relationships is not encounters or dates... Different things
 

empath

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
645
Just pay the bill and later on split it?

Simple text on whatsapp.

Hey your share was XYZ.

Most girls will pay their share.

Or if she don't but decide to go on a second date, let her know its her turn to treat you.

But making a big deal on the date kills the purpose.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,482
Just pay the bill and later on split it?

Simple text on whatsapp.

Hey your share was XYZ.

Most girls will pay their share.

Or if she don't but decide to go on a second date, let her know its her turn to treat you.

But making a big deal on the date kills the purpose.
Just lok! Worst advice i ever heard... Please let me know how many girls you laid doing this...
 

empath

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
645
Just lok! Worst advice i ever heard... Please let me know how many girls you laid doing this...
I do this if the date don't end in me getting laid. I don't care much about seeing her again.

I don't mind paying if the date goes well and I end up having good sex.

Also, I had a dinner date only one time till now. My first one where I ended up paying the bill. Not felt great about it, so stopped doing those. Dinner is for family, friends and serious Gfs.

After that I do dates in beaches, parks or bars mostly.

Edit: also, date needs to end up being expensive.
Like we end up going to 2-3 venues and she does't pay anything. Or we end up ordering more than one drink each. Where its understood that she should contribute, sort of her social responsiblity.
 
Last edited:

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Nov 11, 2019
Messages
5,482
I do this if the date don't end in me getting laid. I don't care much about seeing her again.

How did i know this ^
Also, I had a dinner date only one time till now. My first one where I ended up paying the bill. Not felt great about it, so stopped doing those. Dinner is for family, friends and serious Gfs.
correct does not work...
After that I do dates in beaches, parks or bars mostly.
good
Edit: also, date needs to end up being expensive.
bad strategy should not be expensive at all...
Like we end up going to 2-3 venues and she does't pay anything. Or we end up ordering more than one drink each. Where its understood that she should contribute, sort of her social responsiblity.
again bad strategy...
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Chase

Chieftan
Staff member
tribal-elder
Joined
Oct 9, 2012
Messages
6,352
@empath,

I do this if the date don't end in me getting laid. I don't care much about seeing her again.

I don't mind paying if the date goes well and I end up having good sex.

This sets an awful frame for yourself.

The subconscious frame is "I will pay for her if I get the pussy. But if I don't get the pussy I don't want to throw my money away."

The meta frame of that is

SHE IS THE PRIZE.

If you're going to pay for chicks, paying needs to be not a big deal to YOU as well as THEM.

Not "I'm paying because I'm hoping she gives up the pussy."

Paying because "I have a more fun time if I pay, whether we end up shagging or not."

You need to be the prize.

You cannot be the prize when you are giving girls stuff in exchange for pussy, then taking it back if the pussy is not forthcoming.

(not to mention what a sleaze it makes you look like to any girl who hears this, because they all know why you're asking for their share... best hope none of these girls are tied to your social circle in any way!)

Chase
 

empath

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Feb 16, 2024
Messages
645
@Skills and @Chase

I'm still not getting it?


This sets an awful frame for yourself.

The subconscious frame is "I will pay for her if I get the pussy. But if I don't get the pussy I don't want to throw my money away."

The meta frame of that is

SHE IS THE PRIZE.
To me neither she is the prize or nor I"m.

We are just two people who met to see where things go and what fun we could have had.

Also, I'm asking for a split if it was reasonably a big amount.

Where the girl should have ideally asked to share the bill.

Atleast, here most girls ask you to share the bill.

She is earning person, I'm a earning person we both have our expenses to cover.

Also, where girls have paid for me, they have sent me text, hey your share was xyz other night.

I was like ok, and sent them the money and conversation resumed normally then.

Also, it bypasses the problem of spoiling the mood during the outing. You are doing it next day.

Yeah I get it she might feel a bit bad, but it was her responsiblity as well, when crying ohh this place is so expensive and that place is so expensive to not go there with me if she is unable to go to those places alone.

I never mentioed I'm treating her, right?

Its understood we will split the bill.
 

James D

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Jul 23, 2017
Messages
745
Imo whoever invites the person on the date pays. I invited the girl in the report on the date, so I paid. I was invited to an expensive dinner for a first date by a girl last month, she paid the entire bill

What kind of frame does it send if u invite a girl on a date and then ask if she can split the bill with you?
Agree 💯
 
Top