How to stop paying for sex?

[matheth]

Hi guys Ill give you some background. Ive always been pretty nerdy and used studying to stop being poor and be able to get out of my pretty terrible family situation.

I started getting hookers at 17 as a way to release my sexual energy and being able to focus solely on studying. It was pretty successful and I learned a lot, both academically and professionally.

The problem is that I almost always felt empty afterwards and I know its not a normal way to start something bigger with a girl you might like. I have even met some pretty beautiful women through sugar baby dating that I then had to stop seeing to prevent myself from becoming too attached.

I have some OK game with a few lays here and there but most come from paying for sex. I have a lot of responsibilities and I tend to use sex as a way to relax after a long day of working, studying, working out, etc.

Id really like to give this seduction thing a try and get into it head first, but I also dont know how much can I rely on it in those moments Im feeling tired and stressed and just want to fuck.

I have also gotten more pretty girls more consistently through sugar dating (even girls in their prime 18,19,20 yrs old) and even girls with little to no experience (met a virgin who i kissed but she ended up ghosting me).

I had never gotten so much female attention in my life than I did with this app. And when I do cold approach the girls I get arent as pretty or as willing to satisfy me sexually as these other sugar baby girls.

So my questions are
1) What would you recommend me to stop paying for sex and give coldapproach and honest try?
2) Do you think its possible to rely on coldapproach or game in general as consistently as I did on monet when it came to having sex? Just to put it into perspective, about 2 days ago I had sex with an 18yr old I met 3 hours ago who gave the best blowjob in my life
3) Would I be able to get girls as frequently as I can already do with sugar dating?

As a bonus, my biggest fantasy is to be with 10 girls at the same time. I have no idea how to consistently get even 1 girl in bed and dont think its even possible to do so with 10 girls.
But i could pretty easily pay like 2k in total (200 / girl) to 10 girls (all 18-19 yrs old) and do this literally next saturday.

It seems like there is a hard limit or cap to seduction and game that stuff like money dont have..

 

[matheth]

I must add that i tried two coaches but they usually just shit on you for not having the skills already which makes me feel worse and dont think its that helpful. Id like to get better but dont know where to ask for help really

 

[empath]

This skill will require time.

I don't think you will be able to do better frequency than sugar dating.

There are lot more variables in pick up than sugar dating.

Pick up is not binary and sometimes you lose a girl even though it's not your fault.

Though in long run, being able to pick up girls will give you more satisfaction and you will be more secure of yourself.

I don't know anyone to do 10 girls together through pick up, this is basically an orgym

Will add more stuff busy rn

 

[gameboy]

I got into sugar dating a few years ago, after the breakup with my last girlfriend. And yeah, I felt the same feeling of emptiness after each encounter. I didn't do it a lot, been on and off the apps, but every so often I would get curious again. And it's addictive.

It's true, the amount of female attention you get is downright intoxicating. You can also learn a lot about texting, setting up dates and all that.

But what I hate about it, is how they always are in a hurry to leave after sex (or sometimes even before if it doesn't get to that). Of course the next day they pretend to want to see you again. But only if you fork out the cash. And they will then be in the same hurry to leave afterwards.

I'm lucky to have been pretty successful with women before I got into the sugar dating thing. Banging a girl who is actually into you is a thousand times better than doing it for money. And she will actually want to stay at your place after sex, cuddle, maybe cook for you or with you, or go grab some food outside...

It's a completely different world. It's like comparing the quick fix of a drug with the inevitable crash afterwards, to just being happy because your life is good.

To be fair, paying for sex has its upsides. When you're on a long dry spell it's just good for morale to get laid again, even if she's a hooker or a sugar baby. But I sincerely pity those who can only get sex and female attention when they pay for it.

I'm 50 now, and I'm no longer getting the same attention from the girls that I did 10 or 20 years ago... at least not from the ones that I want, lol.

And learning pickup is hard. But I'm committed to it anyway, even though I could order a girl for money tomorrow if I wanted to. But spending a day in the field approaching is so much more satisfying than banging a hooker, let me tell you that.

 

[empath]

Wo

I got into sugar dating a few years ago, after the breakup with my last girlfriend. And yeah, I felt the same feeling of emptiness after each encounter. I didn't do it a lot, been on and off the apps, but every so often I would get curious again. And it's addictive.

It's true, the amount of female attention you get is downright intoxicating. You can also learn a lot about texting, setting up dates and all that.

But what I hate about it, is how they always are in a hurry to leave after sex (or sometimes even before if it doesn't get to that). Of course the next day they pretend to want to see you again. But only if you fork out the cash. And they will then be in the same hurry to leave afterwards.

I'm lucky to have been pretty successful with women before I got into the sugar dating thing. Banging a girl who is actually into you is a thousand times better than doing it for money. And she will actually want to stay at your place after sex, cuddle, maybe cook for you or with you, or go grab some food outside...

It's a completely different world. It's like comparing the quick fix of a drug with the inevitable crash afterwards, to just being happy because your life is good.

To be fair, paying for sex has its upsides. When you're on a long dry spell it's just good for morale to get laid again, even if she's a hooker or a sugar baby. But I sincerely pity those who can only get sex and female attention when they pay for it.

I'm 50 now, and I'm no longer getting the same attention from the girls that I did 10 or 20 years ago... at least not from the ones that I want, lol.

And learning pickup is hard. But I'm committed to it anyway, even though I could order a girl for money tomorrow if I wanted to. But spending a day in the field approaching is so much more satisfying than banging a hooker, let me tell you that.

Woha 50 and going at it. Motivating.

 

[AspiringStoic]

Wow. I think cold approach definitely does not fit your criteria.

Cold approach is probably the least EFFICIENT way to get sex. But its also the most SATISFYING way to get sex or even dates. Not because of the nature of the sex or the dates but because of what cold approach forces you to become.

Cold approach is a journey to mastering your emotional self, changing your thought patterns, behavior patters, communication skills etc. Sex is the by product of all this.

If you start this as a substitute for paying for sex, I think there is close to zero percent chance that you will continue on this journey. It not only will not give you sex on demand, but in the beginning, it will also make you feel like shit.

There is a lot of awkwardness, fear, rejection, embarrassment and humiliation that you need to face in this journey. Why would you go through all that rather than just get a girl to fuck, if all you want is sex?

You will only move forward on this journey if you have other goals you want to achieve and have a vision for yourself as becoming a certain kind of person.

 

[Zoro]

Sexual Kung Fu

Developing a conscious relationship with your sexual energy and utilizing that energy to improve every aspect of your life is the basis of Sexual Kung Fu. Men must develop the ability to distinguish between ejaculation and orgasm. Johnathan White is the creator of Sexual Kung Fu and a Taoist...

www.youtube.com

 

[Bill Juan]

Stop. Paying.
Simple .

 

[matheth]

This skill will require time.

I don't think you will be able to do better frequency than sugar dating.

There are lot more variables in pick up than sugar dating.

Pick up is not binary and sometimes you lose a girl even though it's not your fault.

Though in long run, being able to pick up girls will give you more satisfaction and you will be more secure of yourself.

I don't know anyone to do 10 girls together through pick up, this is basically an orgym

Will add more stuff busy rn

I do believe there must be a way to use the money you have for improving your dating chances without having to straight pay for sex.

Im rlly interested in hearing u more

 

[empath]

I do believe there must be a way to use the money you have for improving your dating chances without having to straight pay for sex.

Im rlly interested in hearing u more

Yeah money will help a lot, when I started earning than only I got my first lay.

Well you can approach girls spend money on experiences, which she otherwise won't have like, basically the money you spend on sugar dating, start spending on yourself, go on high end cocktail bars, set up your bachelor pad with fancy stuff, throw party at your place in general, have stuff like hookha, cannabis, good drinks, good music.

To give you an analogy say you are applying for job if you have exceptional CV (resume) you will easily get shortlisted for interviews. Now to crack interviews you will need to showcase your skills, right?

Similarly, if you have money, use it like an exceptional CV, but still you will need game to lay women.

So, with your money, you can become who throws exceptional parties, invites cool people, visit high end venues. So, a high value guy, now use your game, chase frames, push pull, isolating a girl etc. to lay her.

You can search about conspicuous consumption, chase has few articles on it. How its used to lay girls.

Yeah having money is far better for game than not having.

 

[TomInHo]

You're on a pickup forum and asking about paying for sex?

Obviously will not get a good reaction here about that because this site is self selecting and I don't think most will recommend that route

But to be fair it's your life, and you're free to live it however you want

So to answer your questions...

1) What would you recommend me to stop paying for sex and give cold approach and honest try?

If all you want its sex then paying is the most straightforward route

But from your post it doesn't seem like you want just sex and probably want a "connection" with a beautiful woman

In that case learning game and cold approach is obviously worth it because you can't pay a woman to truly love you. She will only love your wallet with your current approach

2) Do you think its possible to rely on coldapproach or game in general as consistently as I did on monet when it came to having sex? Just to put it into perspective, about 2 days ago I had sex with an 18yr old I met 3 hours ago who gave the best blowjob in my life

Why not do both?

Why not pay women just for sex and then game women for love?

There are some people that use Sugar sites to get women to meet up with them, but then they never actually pay the girls. Look up something called Salt Daddy Game

Because truth is some of those girls your are paying to fuck, meet other guys on that site that they don't charge for sex. So why can't that be you?

3) Would I be able to get girls as frequently as I can already do with sugar dating?

Look what I said above

Thing is if you have money and a good lifestyle you can attract girls because of it. Doesn't mean you have to pay to play

Because some girls only want to fuck and deal with "High Value" guys, but to make it work you also need to work on your game and sex appeal

As a bonus, my biggest fantasy is to be with 10 girls at the same time. I have no idea how to consistently get even 1 girl in bed and dont think its even possible to do so with 10 girls
But i could pretty easily pay like 2k in total (200 / girl) to 10 girls (all 18-19 yrs old) and do this literally next saturday.

Just pay for it lol

See the real issue with paying is that it can destroy your self esteem.

If you truly believe you can't attract girls without your money it will make it hard for you to enjoy sex when you do actually pay for it

So based on everything it's probably wise for you to work on your game to improve your confidence and self image

Once you've mastered the art of attracting women consistently without paying directly, you'll be better equipped to make informed decisions about how to allocate your resources without compromising your self-worth

It seems like there is a hard limit or cap to seduction and game that stuff like money dont have..

It's not talked about a lot here but having money can definitely help you pull hotter and more girls consistently. But only if you have real game and know how to leverage that money/status

Because I know some wealthy and popular men that have a hard time getting women at all

But also know men in the above category that are able to generate insane levels of compliance from women because they are both seductive and high status

So in the end having game is the great equalizer

 

[KJ Francis]

Seduction has a learning curve and it might be hard to break the habit while facing the early failure.

Maybe google "girlschase preselection" and read the several articles about it.

Then hit the club with two or three escorts

 

[theReason]

If you want to stop paying for sex, you can stop paying for sex.

Breaking an addiction is like developing a skill.

It might take an entire year before the skill “not paying for sex” comes naturally to you.

Until then, you may be unable to focus on doing anything else, cold approach included.

If you view “not paying for sex” like a master’s degree— given your background— I would expect a higher likelihood that, a year from now, you not only are “not paying for sex”, but you are also ready to begin developing another skill. That skill could be daygame, if you so desire.

Could you hyperthread this task and not only stop paying for sex but also start heavily learning daygame?

I would say you could expect to light-start a daygame journey, but your most hardcore years of development would probably not start until you get this addiction handled.

But that’s just me. I started cold showers, then quit porn, then quit being homosexual, then started going to the gym, then started daygame.

I’m not a buff master seducer, but I’m not a porn-addicted gay man afraid of cold water anymore. And the process for me was sequential. In retrospect, maybe it could have been parallel, but it didn’t happen that way for me.

If you want, you could maybe get a Leon Hendrix-style “dopamine detox” coach to walk you through withdrawal from hookers? Just a suggestion.

I have motivated myself sometimes by looking at the amount of sex had by extremely skilled seducers and comparing that to a rockstar’s. Maybe for you it could be motivating to think idealistically too. From what I’ve read, 10 girls in one bed does not seem impossible. This LR, and this LR, give some insight into the kind of self-development journey results in group sex with many women. And that is how both guys present the problem of obtaining sex with many women: “self-development”.

Honestly what you get from pickup and what you get from hookers are totally different thing, because every touch you get from pickup (in my experience) makes your mental health go up, while every touch from a hooker (in your experience) makes your mental health go down, no?

So I would expect it is easier to change your actions than to reverse the intrinsic nature of the results.

 

[AspiringStoic]

every touch you get from pickup (in my experience) makes your mental health go up, while every touch from a hooker (in your experience) makes your mental health go down,

This so true!!

This is what some guys I know get wrong. Its a completely different thing if you are a Charlie Sheen kind of guy who is bedding celebrities and still paying for sex because he is so crazy for it.

But its a completely different thing if you are not able to get women or not able to get them easily enough and you end up paying for it.

The latter drastically pulls you in the other direction. Even a good reaction, a number or a date from pickup will do more to boost your self esteem/ confidence whereas sex with a stunning girl who you paid for will not only not boost your confidence but actively reduces it.

 

[gameboy]

The latter drastically pulls you in the other direction. Even a good reaction, a number or a date from pickup will do more to boost your self esteem/ confidence whereas sex with a stunning girl who you paid for will not only not boost your confidence but actively reduces it.

This.

I would also add that it reinforces the wrong behaviour patterns. With a girl you paid for you can almost do nothing wrong. WIth a girl you meet organically, you need to have some social skills to even get her attention, let alone date and bed her.

 

[Chase]

@matheth,

I do believe there must be a way to use the money you have for improving your dating chances without having to straight pay for sex.

Im rlly interested in hearing u more

If you have a GirlsChase.TV subscription, watch this video:

How Rich Guys Get Laid

Trying to use money to get girls often doesn’t work.Yet, with a little creativity, there are absolutely ways it can.PREVIOUS VIDEO: https://www.girlschase.tv/vi

www.girlschase.tv

Covers a bunch of tactics & strategies that actually work for leveraging money to lay girls without directly paying for women, buying gifts, positioning yourself as the provider, etc.

But more generally, as other guys have said:

You're trying to treat sex in a "push button, get sex" way. If you want to treat it that way, you HAVE to pay. Paying is the only way.

If sex is totally commoditized and you want it "on demand", you need to pay money for it. Because women aren't looking for it like that.

Stopping paying for sex is more than just a habit shift; it is also a mindset shift.

It is akin to quitting porn... or stopping using cheat codes or buying loot boxes when playing video games... or stop using drugs to feel really good... it's giving up something that makes the thing much EASIER at the expense of getting any real SATISFACTION out of it (and also having other downsides).

The big challenge is when you quit the "ease amplifier" you won't be getting satisfaction for a while, either.

So you will be giving up ease, but not replacing it with anything at first... the brain keeps trying to rebel against that and go back to "ease."

It is hard.

(yet another reason why you want to simply never start these bad habits, or cut them off quick if you dabble, because once the brain makes that association between "oh I can just do this and it's a whole lot easier and more convenient" it is really hard to quit)

Chase

 

[MuST0BtA1NSkR1Lla]

Hi guys Ill give you some background. Ive always been pretty nerdy and used studying to stop being poor and be able to get out of my pretty terrible family situation.

I started getting hookers at 17 as a way to release my sexual energy and being able to focus solely on studying. It was pretty successful and I learned a lot, both academically and professionally.

The problem is that I almost always felt empty afterwards and I know its not a normal way to start something bigger with a girl you might like. I have even met some pretty beautiful women through sugar baby dating that I then had to stop seeing to prevent myself from becoming too attached.

I have some OK game with a few lays here and there but most come from paying for sex. I have a lot of responsibilities and I tend to use sex as a way to relax after a long day of working, studying, working out, etc.

Id really like to give this seduction thing a try and get into it head first, but I also dont know how much can I rely on it in those moments Im feeling tired and stressed and just want to fuck.

I have also gotten more pretty girls more consistently through sugar dating (even girls in their prime 18,19,20 yrs old) and even girls with little to no experience (met a virgin who i kissed but she ended up ghosting me).

I had never gotten so much female attention in my life than I did with this app. And when I do cold approach the girls I get arent as pretty or as willing to satisfy me sexually as these other sugar baby girls.

So my questions are
1) What would you recommend me to stop paying for sex and give coldapproach and honest try?
2) Do you think its possible to rely on coldapproach or game in general as consistently as I did on monet when it came to having sex? Just to put it into perspective, about 2 days ago I had sex with an 18yr old I met 3 hours ago who gave the best blowjob in my life
3) Would I be able to get girls as frequently as I can already do with sugar dating?

As a bonus, my biggest fantasy is to be with 10 girls at the same time. I have no idea how to consistently get even 1 girl in bed and dont think its even possible to do so with 10 girls.
But i could pretty easily pay like 2k in total (200 / girl) to 10 girls (all 18-19 yrs old) and do this literally next saturday.

It seems like there is a hard limit or cap to seduction and game that stuff like money dont have..

Id get hookers if it wasn’t such a risky proposition. Even with the proliferation of Onlyfans I feel like I’d be playing into the hand of the various criminal organizations and goverment not too mention blackmail.

Im not even sure if at this point you are capable of learning game tho. I should ask if you get onitis and are seeing the same girls often or if you switch it up.

Anyways I’d just listen to Chases stuff with an extra add on of taking a two week break from sex and then approach and do a quick report of how it went.

Cheers
MuSt0

 

[jackgignac]

Have you tried Netherlands?

 

[matheth]

So as an update to this topic:
I have around 2-4 girls that i see fairly frequent.
The first one, lets call her #1 I am still paying her but around half of what I used to, furthermore she became more and more attached to the point where she confessed fapping to me and also told me she loves me ( i know it could just be her trying to keep having me give her money but it does feel genuine). I have made her cum like crazy the last few times Ive seen her.

#2 is a girl I saw a while back for whom I paid too much (i admit it) but I had done so bc she was hot af. I will try to get her on the same lvl as #1 and hopefully get them both to cost me 0$.

#3 is a pretty bratty chick, at the beginning when we began to chat we insulted each other and somehow i turned this around and had her come over that same night. We kept seeing each other for a couple of times but here comes the interesting part. One day she told me she was bored and wanted to come, I was supposed to help her with some math classes she had but we ended up just fucking all afternoon. After this I told her I wasnt planning on fucking her so Im not gonna pay her and she just accepted it. Sometimes I do send her food or just buy her sexy clothes but I dont really mind doing that. I genuinely have quite a lot lf money for my country. Also, last time i offered her money to buy food she rejected it. She has become more attached too and I made her cum like crazy most of the times ive seen her. We even jokingly discussed why she keeps coming back if im not paying her but she said she finds me hot and thats one reason lol.

#4 this is a girl I saw 2 or 3 times and she texted me today wanted to come over, i told her i dont got money (i do but just wanted to see her reaction) and she told me she would come over for pleasure. She also complimented my fucking lmao.

Soooo I think ive made some strong progress with these chicks and while I do understand that most guys here would rather not pay for anything I do think that there is a lvl, for me at least, where i dont really mind putting money into a girl.

I would say, going from least to most desirable the ways money can be involved in having sex with a chick are:
1) straight up paying her
2) buying her clothes (mostly sexy, sexual) or giving her gifts.
3) showing her you have financial stability (not necessarily by being a showoff but just like ordering take out food or paying her uber).

I come from very clear cut prostitution where theres 1 hour with a timer and a fixed price for that service. But this sugar dating stuff is much more flexible and I had experiences already with chicks where I stopped paying or payed nothing.

Also, im working on a #5 chick i got from this SD app which ill try to fuck without any money involved (only uber or food)

I also noticed that I can reach far further through this app to neighborhoods far away from where I live where there are drop gorgeous chicks and for which I pay them a uber straight to my house. I think more guys could benefit from a mixed strategy, specially if you aint got time and need to get shit done.

 

[matheth]

Have you tried Netherlands?

What do you mean? Like sugar dating in netherlands or just normal dating?