How would you proposition date's friend?

[outofplace]

Hey guys,

Came across this situation awhile back. Still unsure what was the best way to handle it. Appreciate feedback.

Matched with a girl on Hinge and found out we go to the same studio but she stopped going before I joined. We make plans to bump into each other at an event by the studio a couple weeks later because she's still traveling.

Fast forward 3 weeks later. I'm already there enjoying the event. She walks in with another girl. I can't believe myself. It's this hot girl that I've been eyeing for a way to open for sometime now but she always runs off before I can catch her. Apparently they've known each other for more than a year now and they're something like BFFs.

I invite both to grab a bite post event. Conversation goes ok, sometimes feels like an interrogation because of the tag team. I think I handled the shit testing pretty well but struggled with fielding questions between two people. I can't isolate either of them because we're sitting at the same table. I also don't want to focus on her friend because I'm afraid of triggering some girl code moment?

Anyway, during the interaction it comes up that her friend lives 5 mins from me. I seize the opportunity to create the excuse to drop Hinge girl off first.

Fast forward to alone time with the star. I jump straight into the important questions. Lots of things in common. She's investing in the conversation. Seeded some potential future date ideas. But I'm driving so I can't do the usual stuff with eye contact and casual touching. I want to just pull over somewhere and do a face to face but it's 2am, I'm super tired and she probably is as well. I'm also worried that she'll bail because she doesn't want to steal her friend's date. I know I need to find some reason to ask her out alone another day but I definitely dropped the ball because I missed multiple excuses to get her number. I blame the hour of the night.

Needless to say I spent the night sitting in bed alone hating myself. I'll definitely see her again soon so I'd love some pointers now so that I don't fuck it up again.

 

[Gaturro]

Username checks out hahaha

Girls talk, and they will laugh at you trying to seduce both of them at the same time, unless you spike attraction and move fast (which you didn’t).

I was gonna say that if you didn’t really like the Hinge girl you could still try with the other one, because what would you lose? But I see you go to the same studio, you see her regularly, so it would be too much drama and it could affect your reputation…

 

[HoofHearted]

No reason to hate yourself.

I tend to take the opposite view. There is really no such thing as the 'sisterhood' and the baseline of almost all human behavior is self-incentive, which makes true altruism all the more special imo

IOW proceed as normal on that front. Or have you not seen the circus that women become when an attractive man enters their sphere? Blood in the water, friendships end in my experience, it's a shark feed.

I guess the 'mistake' is seeing the girl you like long before meeting the friend and not playin ball at that time.

But it seems like she's connected to you somehow (wtf does studio mean?). The rules change here, if true, and slower is not better but in situations where you're more socially connected it's not the death sentence it would be like when cold approach.

In fact many of the rules I hold for good cold approach simply breakdown in social circle situations. I tend to view it as a gradient. And I have seen friends do things that I swore would be a severe/ending error, yet still develop a sexual relationship with these women.

It looks like neither a good nor a poor shot for you with the one you like, imo. Keeping in mind that most things just don't work out...

Unfortunately I am not the best at the social circle approach. I don't like doing it. The value of being able to never see someone again cannot be overstated.

 

[ulrich]

Girls are not as loyal to their girlfriends sexually as men are.
And some mean are dogs so…

 

[BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN]

I’ve been physical with a girl while driving a car, it’s a little trickier than usual but you can do it too, just remember to focus on the road as well

 

[Beck Bass]

Girls are not as loyal to their girlfriends sexually as men are.

Are men really that loyal? I mean, even with my friends, their concept of loyalty is completely screwed. Since I'm the "player alpha dog", any move I do on a girl they overreact, but if they start cockblocking me or acting behind my back to get with a girl I was going for it's all fine ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@outofplace don't beat yourself over it, it was freaking random and you did your best. I think you still have a shot with both, just try to see them isolated lol. Yes, they will talk, more than likely, but they might not even, if you do a good enough job you might fuck both and they might start playing each other to see which one gets to keep you (or gets the best out of the situation).

 

[Fuck This]

A date from Hinge, a relationship does not make. I know a couple of female roommates where one married the other's high school boyfriend after the two broke up.

You missed a window in the car driving to get the number of the second girl. Her friend meeting you off Hinge actually is a good reference for her. But don't try to keep both of them happy. Pick a side and go for it or nothing....

 

[outofplace]

A date from Hinge, a relationship does not make. I know a couple of female roommates where one married the other's high school boyfriend after the two broke up.

You missed a window in the car driving to get the number of the second girl. Her friend meeting you off Hinge actually is a good reference for her. But don't try to keep both of them happy. Pick a side and go for it or nothing....

I know. I had multiple excuses to get the number for all the potential date ideas that I seeded but I completely dropped the ball and fumbled.

The keyword in your examples is after. For me it seemed like I never ended it with Hinge girl because she was still a party in the single chain of events.

How would I signal that I'm moving on to her friend? (This question goes out to the other posters too) During the double date? After I get her friend isolated? It felt like I was going behind her back in the solo car time. Feels like I'm treading on eggshells the entire time.

 

[Fuck This]

Think of a first date to be a job interview. You can interview for a number of jobs when you are looking. If one company works closely with another company in some joint ventures, and that company has a job opening that fits you better it works to the benefit of both companies because Company B can operate with more efficiency and productivity.

You don't want to regret not taking a shot with the girl you find more attractive.


During my single and looking days, I matched with a hot single mom from out of the area. We traded some messages. She had a friend who was single that she actually got on the app. That friend matched with me and messaged me first. Six weeks later her friend flies down to meet me and we had a passionate long weekend. The original girl matched with some Army guy in Japan and was married 10 months later.

The original woman had a daughter in her 20's who ended up having emotional and mental health issues. I dodged a bullet on that one.