Socializing I am a Secret society member. Why don’t women want me?

[Teevster]

I am rich. Why don't I have any money????

 

[Will_V]

Well I thought that being non-judgemental is the most attractive trait. I have all the other fundamentals pretty much in check. There are way less attractive guys getting laid. One thing I noticed is that they have a certain aloof sexual vibe which for me is difficult to adopt because it doesn’t build rapport with people. And I want to be liked, I don’t have my own source of self worth yet.

By sexually attractive I don't simply mean that you look good. I mean that she feels sexually activated and comfortable expressing herself sexually with you.

That means things like:

- Being non-needy
- Being self-assured and comfortable with who you are
- Being comfortable expressing yourself sexually (touching her, teasing her, eye contact, etc)

But don’t tell me that all the guys who get lots of sex love themselves - I know plenty of them who actually hate themselves deep down!

There is this idea that I've noticed goes around in pickup circles, that since there are dudes who can seduce a girl one day and feel like jumping off a bridge the next, that you can do away with all the personal growth stuff that ostensibly feeds into seduction success.

The truth is that these guys have developed the ability (probably, in the beginning, involuntarily) of slipping from one psychological illusory bubble to the next, pushing out of their awareness (often with the help of drugs or alcohol) anything that conflicts with the internal frame that they want to experience. There is a great cost to this, because the resulting loss of perspective on reality destroys their ability to plan and operate toward any long term goal. And not only that, the subconscious never forgets, and the chickens eventually come home to roost.

I have always used seduction to help me become the man I want to be. I choose the seduction experiences that give me the opportunity to experience, or the potential to experience, the reality that I want to live in all the time. That means that I am usually not too keen on 'shortcuts' and 'hacks', especially when they involve creating some kind of internal or external illusion.

If you want something else, good luck, but I can't help you on that front.

 

[Ratata]

This is gonna sting but... The number one indicator that you're indeed in the Secret Society is that ... you're having sex. And not only that, but the sex you're having "doesn't count."

Btw. did you follow my advice about going out and getting some experience? Do you have an FR in the works?

Btw. I also have a complaint. Why am I not rich? According to the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill, I should be swimming in money. I mean I'm thinking about money every day, so why am I not rich? Sorry, this was a sarcasm. Please don't answer it.

(NOte to self: Maybe I could start pimping??? Omg I'm gonna B rich!!)

(Sorry Teev, I saw your post too late xD )

 

[Skills]

That's an interesting point, @Skills.

Secret society is communicating to girls who like to hook up and party, or sneak out and have affairs away from their borefriends (old seduction name for "boyfriends"), that you are just like them, you also fool around and hook up, and do not want it getting out just like them; that you are on the level -- they can hook up with you and no one will ever know. Plus, you are in that environment, so you know how to take care of them sexually, in ways their borefriends and the other nice guy providers chasing after them do not and cannot even imagine exists.

With girls not really going out nearly as much, and people dating less in general, having sex less in general, having affairs less in general, and the social skills decline making all this subcommunication much less effective (she doesn't have the social skills to pick up on all the subtext of what you are saying), much of the secret society flies right over the average girl's head now, just like it flew over the heads of inexperienced girls decades ago.

The other side of it is there is not the kind of sexual double standard that was present decades ago. Partly that is how open everything is sexually... partly it is how cowed men have become; if some guy tries to shame a woman sexually, everyone just piles on and calls that guy a virgin incel.

Women used to gossip about their sex lives over Sunday brunch and try to keep their voices down. Now they just blast it out everywhere the same way men do -- louder even. Guys are afraid of being put on blast for talking about sexing women ("Misogynist!"). Girls have no such fear today.

Men in general used to have this "pure princess" idea about the girls they really liked 20 years ago. "Not my girl; she is not like that. She would never do such filthy things with a MAN!"

Whereas today it is mainstream for men to assume every girl is a nympho, they all have 20+ partners by age 25, every single one cheats, etc.

So if you are going up to a girl like, "Hey -- not me. I know how it is. We both know women like sex. !"

She is just going to assume you got that off Reddit, TikTok, IG, X, etc., like every other guy who tries talking to her about that.

The Secret Society has become the Public Society.

(Which is not to say "Don't talk about sex." But it is a bit tone deaf now to be talking about it like you know some big secret the other guys don't know, which nowadays every guy knows, and actually assumes too far in the opposite direction.)

WEIRD POLARITY OBSERVATION: until circa 2010 or so, the "male default assumption" was "girls don't like sex, they only want relationships, most girls are good girls who only have sex in committed relationships, one-night stands are rare, female cheating is very, very rare." But then with the rise of red pill, by about 2020, the "male default assumption" had become "girl love sex with Chad, they want to get pumped by Chad, most girls are sluts for Chad who only make simps wait for sex, every girl has tons of one-night stands with Chad, female cheating is epidemic."

The earlier one was an extreme black-or-white position... but so is the current one.

That's the mainstream for you. It's either one extreme or another.

No nuance or accuracy for The Masses.

(It is also funny to me that the pre-2010 view is actually closer to today, with people hooking up less and having sex later and having few partners and divorcing/cheating less, whereas the post-2020 view is actually closer to the past. So, so weird.)

Chase

@Chase no necessarily cheating..

Women would treat a guy that was "normal" during her deep dives in a way.... the same exact girl would treat a guy during interaction that was "secret society" a total different way once confirm... it has nothing to do with cheating per se (but obviously if women are risk adverse and horny they will probably do it with the secret society dude vs a normal guy for obvious reasons)....

He wrote than in masf (when he was a poster vs a coach i am pretty sure).... The dynamics were different in that gen, as i have discuss a million times... Women were actually more sexually active ( more ons, more hook ups, more cheating, more ___________ fill in the blank) but outward appearance was more maddona presentation...... One of the reasons second gen was more effective with x and millenals.. (this is all my opinion, based on my own experience)

now we have gen z were they are looking like fucking whores in the outward appearance and sexual believes super open... But when it comes to getting down to biz and promiscuity they are actually super conservative (again i am generalizing).... They are naked at the club, dancing like true whores, posting almost naked pictures, not doing a lot of hooking up, or virgins, or very limited sexual activity.... Sex talk and things like that when it comes to sexual openess will be like "water is wet" to them pretty ineffective compare to other gens... you will see a bunch of little girls at the clubs naked,, pretty much going home together, just exchanging contact info. Gen x, and millennials very likely to go home with you...is hard to explain... what works is talking about relatable topics on "you get it" when it comes to their "personal lifestyle" such as the drinks they like, how they dress, what they do, etc.. more relatability (which is why i keep annoying older seducers with my constant talk of gen z).... because knowing the dynamics of gen z is the new Third gen.


so that is my context that the article was more written for the times.... (though applicable today of course)