i dont know how to proceed.

HHjj

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2019
Messages
25
I need help. I met this girl as work a couple of days ago. We started talking, it was a nice conversation. may be pretty neutral and then I had to be on some other floor for sometime and I told I would comeback. My shif ended 30 mins before her's and I started chatting to her again. This was all in a clothing store. Then I asked her out for a coffee. She was like "whats your intention". I made a joke about kidnapping and then she told that she has a boyfriend. I told its ok we can still hangout as friends or something. She was also hesitant to share her number, but she almost did and told she doesnt wanna give any false hope and make me feel bad at the end. Somehow I compromised her to meet me after work. It kinda felt like I forced her to do meet me. She was hesitant, but she came. when we met, she was like lets just walk and not have coffee or anything. Then we walked for about 10 mins and then we spoke a few things. It was nice, but she zoned out a few times which made me feel that she is not that much into me. I really liked her (in fact, I told her so ) and I dont know if she felt the same. Then we exchanged numbers, she was again hesitant and told me to type my number in her phone and after that I told I dont pick up call from strange numbers and made a call from her phone and got her number( There was guy as wall paper in her phone). She told she is not good with friends and catching up frequently and fets tired of people in a short time after hanging out. I told its ok, may be we can catch up after 6 months and she smiled. I texted after getting back home, it was a normal flirt, she smiled and she did not reply for anything after that the next morning. I dont know if she likes me or if she was just nice to me. I might be seeing her tomorrow and I dont know what to do. She works there full time and I go in like 3 or 4 times a month as part time. She is german and I am Indian. She has toured around India and told she hates germany and is afraid of becoming like a german. When we were walking around, she told about the time she was depressed and stuffs about self help books. I was like a nice and stupid romantic throughout.
 
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HumanWhoLearns

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 25, 2019
Messages
99
You made several mistakes. You were too friendly and never established a man-to-woman premise. You told a girl you liked her after barely knowing her (implies you don't have a lot of women in your life). The conversation also didn't stimulate her emotions in anyway which is why you saw her zoning out.

You need to take more conversational risks and learn to value your time. I'm at a point where if I get a phone number, if the interaction is bad (I don't like her that much or there were no signs of attraction), I don't even contact them.
 

HHjj

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Mar 30, 2019
Messages
25
You made several mistakes. You were too friendly and never established a man-to-woman premise. You told a girl you liked her after barely knowing her (implies you don't have a lot of women in your life). The conversation also didn't stimulate her emotions in anyway which is why you saw her zoning out.

You need to take more conversational risks and learn to value your time. I'm at a point where if I get a phone number, if the interaction is bad (I don't like her that much or there were no signs of attraction), I don't even contact them.
This happened several times to me. I get too friendly. How do I establish this man-to-woman premise? Can you suggest me any articles to read?
 

happynanako

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
May 3, 2020
Messages
45
She already has a boyfriend and she doesn't seem keen to be your friend. There are many girls out there, don't just focus on the one that doesn't seem to like you
 
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