Iceberg's Newbie Assignment

[Iceberg]

Sup.

Finally wanted to learn the skill properly, figured the challenge was perfect as that was always the format that motivated me most. Found the Red Pill 4 years ago and did some work on myself but was always missing the practical component. Was always a cocky & funny/teasing type of guy and never had the guts or skill to translate the IOIs into any success. This journal is the beginning of me finally changing that, getting to spin some plates and building a more robust social circle.

Gonna combine Days 1-4 into one as I naturally do that already. Leaves me less time to slack which is both scary and exciting. But fuck it, I have waited long enough and I am going to seize the upcoming weekend.

Cheers
Iceberg

 

[gameboy]

I'm doing the newbie challenge too currently. I started my journal in the Field Reports board (I hadn't realized at the time that there's an extra board here dedicated to journals).

I skipped days 1-3 because I had already done those in the past. Now I'm kind of half-stuck on day 4 though, saying Hi to girls. I'm curious to read about your progress, keep us posted!

 

[Iceberg]

Okay, debrief time. (Tasks 1-3, Day 1)

I definitely am disappointed at how I have handled the tasks today. I looked at the shops in my immediate vicinity and found a nice little cafe which will serve as a good 1st date location and there also is a small college campus which I didn't visit for reasons I'll put below.
So first I went downtown and looked at the TJ Maxx. Kind of got lost for an hour trying to decide whether to buy a sports coat which in the end I did. This happened on the first floor however which mostly has stuff for men and I saw mostly couples and not many prospects. Downstairs I spotted a few HBs but paid and left.
Not sure how to approach that one. Should I pretend I got a girlfriend I want to buy stuff for and ask random women to help me? Good opener but begs the question why I want the number of the chick I am hitting on.

Then went into two perfumeries but both are pretty small as well. Saw Style do an Opener once asking which perfume would be better for going out and I am pretty knowledgable on the topic in general, but (and this is the common theme with all of those) I don't want to look like a fucking creep standing for an hour in a shop constantly using the same opener, going there every week. Maybe a location for once or twice a month.

And that is kind of where I need advice. Downtown is pretty busy and I can probably find enough girls to talk to, but I can't stand the thought of prowling around the inner city or the college campus and spending multiple hours per week hitting on girls. Don't want to be seen as the creep that does that, kind of like the beggars on the street corners. I am naturally pretty chatty, talked in the perfumeries with a few guys and the women doing sales but staying there just to hit on women would make me feel awkward as fuck.
Maybe I am overthinking it, but I also didn't say Hi to chicks as I have originally planned. Felt weird to just go up to them and simply say 'Hi' with no reason to continue or even come up to them in the first place. Didn't take the bus back home and said to myself I would complete the task on the way, which I didn't do. Had 4 oppurtunities and everytime I didn't do it felt like I had rejected myself, which definitely put a dampener on my mood.

Also would have loved to go out tonight but recently moved and don't have that kind of friend group yet. Would find it super weird to just go to the bar alone. Like who am I kidding with my time constraint having to go back to my nonexistent friends.


Posture/body language wise I am definitely above average. Weird thing is, if I see my reflection while walking I kind of get insecure, thinking who am I to walk like the cockiest motherfucker on the planet.
Eye contact wise I still have to learn. Especially while talking I simply can not look somebody in the eye and think at the same time. Any tips on that?

I will definitely go out tomorrow again and search for other places I can use. How far should they be away, logistically speaking? downtown is a ~30 minute walk away, or 15 with the bus. But after like 11 o' clock the buses only drive every hour. Is that already too far if I want to bring a chick home?

I'd appreciate input for the two questions and my concerns of being seen as the creepy guy in the places I frequent, but maybe that is just in my head, as I am a friendly and chatty person in general. Will search the forum and site for similar threads as well.
Tomorrow I'll complete the assignments properly, maybe instead of just saying Hi just jumping into conversation to make it less awkward for me.

Cheers

 

[Iceberg]

I'm doing the newbie challenge too currently. I started my journal in the Field Reports board (I hadn't realized at the time that there's an extra board here dedicated to journals).

I skipped days 1-3 because I had already done those in the past. Now I'm kind of half-stuck on day 4 though, saying Hi to girls. I'm curious to read about your progress, keep us posted!

Hey, I've read your journal and I have to say that it lit a flame under my ass to go out and approach more aggressively. Made me realize that the worst thing that could happen to me would be getting stuck in my comfort zone. Gotta push through that initial awkwardness and stop dawdling around. I wish I had a wingman IRL but speaking about Pick Up would make me look like a complete dork. Maybe we can hold each other accountable until we find people on the same wave length.

 

[gameboy]

Yes, that would be great! Glad to read thay my journal inspired you

I totally know how it feels creepy even to just say "hi" when you aren't yet able to do it!

But once you get the first positive reactions, that's when it starts becoming fun.

As I said above, I'm still stuck on the "say Hi" level for now... I hope I can take my own advice for the upcoming exercises... gonna give it another try tomorrow!

 

[Gram]

@gameboy I recommend just starting a new journal/thread. Your post title on field reports is your limiting belief! You have to choose your words carefully to eradicate those negative thoughts.

@Iceberg right on. You have to get over the "Hi" with an abundance mentality.. women, like you I imagine, like to be noticed. And if they don't then nothing is lost..

Don't think of the hi as anything more than a friendly hello. Do it to everyone if the thought of doing it to women only makes you nervous. Stay on it!

 

[Iceberg]

Here we go: (Tasks 1-4 continued, Day 2)

So, today I went downtown again to spot some places worth gaming in. We have a mall focused on clothing which definitely seemed to have enough turnover. I don't know how many hours per week I can stand checking out clothes though.
For the immediate future I will probably drive to the next big city and let myself have fun there. Arriving in the afternoon and transitioning into night game. Don't want to shit where I eat and I'll have a period of 3-6 months where I won't pull anything anyway so I can concentrate on running game and not worry about logistics. After that period I can transition back to my city and game in the bars here.

What I also did today was saying 'Hi' to 6 (attractive) women. Crazy how fast these challenges destroy any phantasies of yours just killing it with women if you tried enough, isn't it? It wasn't panic inducing at all, just majorly uncomfortable. Also after reading the assignment again I realized I might have done it only half-right, as I only said Hi while walking by them and a majority of them weren't attractive. Only saw like two attractive ones at all today. Also noticed how many couples are out there. But anyway, I did it, 1 in the first 3 minutes of me setting my mind to it and the other ones in the span of half an hour. Went to the grocery store to complete the task, didn't want to let myself fail today.
I have learned from this task that day gaming in a street isn't really my thing, not many open people and there is a problem with the momentum they already have, not to mention their conversational partners. Also the last 4 sucked, but I have realized that if I would stop now, it wouldn't get better. So I gotta embrace the suck for a while and be willing to be uncomfortable. But I can already feel that I respect myself more for doing it.

Probably going to prepare for work tomorrow and begin the next task wednesday at the latest. Till then!

Cheers

 

[BIGGUS DICKUS: PUSSY MAN]

Here we go: (Tasks 1-4 continued, Day 2)

So, today I went downtown again to spot some places worth gaming in. We have a mall focused on clothing which definitely seemed to have enough turnover. I don't know how many hours per week I can stand checking out clothes though.
For the immediate future I will probably drive to the next big city and let myself have fun there. Arriving in the afternoon and transitioning into night game. Don't want to shit where I eat and I'll have a period of 3-6 months where I won't pull anything anyway so I can concentrate on running game and not worry about logistics. After that period I can transition back to my city and game in the bars here.

What I also did today was saying 'Hi' to 6 (attractive) women. Crazy how fast these challenges destroy any phantasies of yours just killing it with women if you tried enough, isn't it? It wasn't panic inducing at all, just majorly uncomfortable. Also after reading the assignment again I realized I might have done it only half-right, as I only said Hi while walking by them and a majority of them weren't attractive. Only saw like two attractive ones at all today. Also noticed how many couples are out there. But anyway, I did it, 1 in the first 3 minutes of me setting my mind to it and the other ones in the span of half an hour. Went to the grocery store to complete the task, didn't want to let myself fail today.
I have learned from this task that day gaming in a street isn't really my thing, not many open people and there is a problem with the momentum they already have, not to mention their conversational partners. Also the last 4 sucked, but I have realized that if I would stop now, it wouldn't get better. So I gotta embrace the suck for a while and be willing to be uncomfortable. But I can already feel that I respect myself more for doing it.

Probably going to prepare for work tomorrow and begin the next task wednesday at the latest. Till then!

Cheers

Street day gaming isn't a lot of people's thing, it's one of the harder forms of cold approach.

But don't rule it out.

Considering how many approaches you've done, any experience is good.

Daniel made an article about street stops, it's somewhere if you fish for it.

I would just recommend be patient and open minded, your already willing to work hard, but combine all three and your in a good position to improve.

In a couple months, if you keep at it, you'll actually have approach addiction, imagine that!

The very beginning is obviously the hardest part of the journey, I remember dreading approaching women for the first month. I didn't care about how many numbers I got, I cared about how many women I had the courage to approach, the number of times my approach anxiety beat me compared to how many times I persevered. That's the ratio I was concerned about.

Now I can easily say when I'm in the field, 95% of the time, if I want to approach a women, I will do it. The other 5% is situational stuff, like being with my friends or the girl giving fuck off signals, all times where it's not fear that is stopping me but instead reality (but don't get in your head abt it not being the right time)

So approach anxiety is curable, for sure

Know you can do it,

Biggus

 

[Iceberg]

What's going on.
Wanted to use this being a journal and jot some notes down. Unfortunately work has taken precedent over the task last week. Went grocery shopping thursday thinking I could complete it then but the whole area around me is just dead. Didn't want to just lame out and ask the clerks how their day was going (did it with one) with me only seeing one attractive female after coming out of the store. So planned doing the task next tuesday or wednesday keeping in mind that late morning wasn't a good time to go hunting. A field report of sorts will follow with some observations I wanted to explore.

Met up with a few acquaintances yesterday. Drank at one of their houses, went to a bar and finally into a club. Originally planned to complete the task then but got so hammered that I just let myself have fun. Wore proper earrings for the first time and looking in the mirror for the first time wearing them was pretty jarring because they were leaning far on the feminine side, but I liked the idea of wearing em and thought they were perfect peacocking material for my more classy sense of style. Also wore a pretty extroverted shirt I love, got complimented for both which was nice.
Acquaintances planned to leave at 3 am so I said my goodbyes early and went to a different floor that fit my musical tastes more.
Was just vibing, really high energy which together with the fact that I was probably dressed better than 95% of the men resulted in a girl telling me how pretty I was. I smiled, hugged her back a bit and continued. Had a 3 set with a girl I danced with come back later saying they had missed me.
Later girl that complimented me gave me her phone with the Instagram search open. Laughed and said "I don't have Insta sweetie" to which she asked me why that was when I was so pretty. Gave her my phone and let her enter her number, which she did including her full name. Wrote her a message on WhatsApp, gave her a kiss on the cheek and left.
On the way home I realized I probably could have pulled her, but I was sleepy af, drunk and she wasn't that hot, I just liked her energy. Being further in my pick-up journey I imagine I would have pulled her automatically, just because it would have been easier than not doing so.


A couple things I have learned from this.
1) Gaming drunk would be both way easier and way harder. I loose way to many filters when (super) drunk, talking unattractive stuff and sometimes just mumbling my thoughts aloud. Easier in the way that it obviously gets me loose and less inside my head, which I have massive problems with. It is like my smooth self gets out when I am (lightly) drunk because the constant introspection I have going on finally stops. In day-to-day life I filter myself constantly, sometimes stumbling over my words, always with a second voice inside my head distracting me from forming sentences. Drunk I am in the moment, bolder. I don't want to rely on alcohol like a chump however, plus it would be really pricy. Wasn't yesterday because I constantly had drinks handed to me, but the entrance fee already was on the high side for me. I want neither the extra costs nor the reliance on a substance to game properly. It also worsens my strategizing ability.

2) Being high energy helps immensely with opening up other groups. Everything about me yesterday screamed non-needy extrovert on the dance floor and who doesn't want the fun person to be around. I just loving dancing in general, so maybe I should frequent clubs rather than bars to keep my energy high?

3) Giving value like the girl did instantly made me believe her to be an amazing person. Now I know we both were drunk, but it was super helpful to see this in person happening to myself. Definitely will look to eliminate my unattractive behaviour and remodeling my interactions to be that positive.


What I probably could have done better was interact with her a bit more after her giving me the number. As it stands I wouldn't be surprised if it's a flake, her being disappointed I didn't pull her, me leaving early, I'd get it. If not, maybe I'll even invite her out somewhere, get the first date experience out the way. Maybe she is a boon to my social life, with her looking as extroverted as she was. I wouldn't mind getting invited to a few extra parties or smth. If you read till here I thank you, though this was probably more for me than for you. Maybe you have managed to learn something anyway.

Cheers!

 

[gameboy]

Yeah man, saying "how's it going" to random people is really hard. I haven't been able to do it during street stops yet, however I've asked a few girls sitting on the beach. The reactions were much better than I expected!

I always need to warm up saying "hi" to a couple of girls first. I also said "hi" first to the girls I then chatted with on the beach.