If I don't want to play this 'hierarchy game' but if you don't respond when social climbers are fucking with you, you also lose the respect.

jesslee09

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 14, 2019
Messages
32
Metered retaliation when people are feeding you shit is how people test each other. It's like when puppies play bite each other to practice fighting. The little nips establishes the pecking order, and if you go to either extreme, by remaining silent, or by going nuclear overreacting, you are communicating that you are an imbalanced male unable to cope with minor stresses of life.

It's an imperfect test given by imperfect people, but it's a game that's been with us for the last 250 thousand years, and though philosophy and ideology like in the Bible tries to discourage it, it persists because it's in our DNA, especially females. So you must play, your directive to ignore them with an icy stare is an invitation for them to crank up the heat on you. Acting like nothing is wrong only works if you are several stations above them in the hierarchy of value. For example someone working at mcdonalds living hand to mouth shit-testing a deca millionaire while at a dinner outing.

I like it when people misread me and try the shit tests, it's a relief and releases tension in the room because I'm better at it then they are. If you're prepared to outwit them at these games where you harm others using words or totally legal actions then the situation never arises again because people can read it in your body language, the muscles you use to hold yourself while sitting or standing. Holding frame and smiling only works when you're very high above them, or they're so dysfunctional in the head, that their disapproval is a compliment.

It's a very complex equation, supposing you are target weight and looking good, and a morbidly obese woman shit tests you acting high above you when they're not, making you feel small, and you over-retaliate by saying: "You are 150 pounds overweight and are only desirable to the bottom 3% of men and your friends keep you around to make them look better in comparison." That makes you the bad guy when she gets totally offended and storms off with the other hotties keeping her around. The game is not so simple as you suppose. It's like offense and defense in chess, too much of one or the other puts you at a huge disadvantage to winning. It's striking the perfect balance that is so difficult, that evolution is trying to select for.

So in the grand scheme of things, everything is running perfectly. You are being put into a deathmatch of wits, and what shakes out is the social pecking order hierarchy. Refusing to play puts you in the lowest position regardless of your merit. These games are a silly sub-quest though, don't wrestle too much with pigs in shit, you get stuck there at their low-station, the pigs love every minute of it and pull you back in when you try to resume growth, and the skills you create are only those that cut people down, rather than build them up. But you must conquer this game if you are to rise in the ranks of the tall office buildings in big cities. Not everyone is smart enough to play it well enough to win.


I've been reading Chase's posts about not climbing and building up those around you. But from a social climber's point of view, they try to talk down to you or disrespect you for a little bit of social status boost. If I don't respond, I also lose the game.

How can I not be a social climber when everyone around me is a social climber?
 

YS.

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Mar 3, 2020
Messages
151
What if you're all friends and it's all jokes. (Even if it isn't.)

If you take it as a joke, it becomes one.


(You can watch the next 5-10 mins.)
 

jesslee09

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 14, 2019
Messages
32
What if you're all friends and it's all jokes. (Even if it isn't.)

If you take it as a joke, it becomes one.


(You can watch the next 5-10 mins.)
Sure, it's an ideal thing to take everything as a joke and laugh about it. But there are also incidents when people condescend, offend, or fuck with with the intention to make YOU look bad while making himself look better to gain status. This is a post regarding those.
 

YS.

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
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Messages
151
Sure, it's an ideal thing to take everything as a joke and laugh about it. But there are also incidents when people condescend, offend, or fuck with with the intention to make YOU look bad while making himself look better to gain status. This is a post regarding those.
Did you even watch the video?

My post was about your post, so was the video.

People will fuck with you to see where you stand in the totem pool, to see if you are actually cool or take it seriously/defensively.

You can look at it like OH NO, THEY DISRESPECT ME. I NEED TO DEFEND MYSELF! Or, you can be like, cool man. Yeah, that sucks. Funny, though. And then just vibe along.

It's called outframing.

I know it's counteractive, but just watch the video. You're alarmingly in the "competitive" frame. You'll create these situations ALL THE TIME if you are in this mode.
 

jesslee09

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
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Messages
32
Did you even watch the video?

My post was about your post, so was the video.

People will fuck with you to see where you stand in the totem pool, to see if you are actually cool or take it seriously/defensively.

You can look at it like OH NO, THEY DISRESPECT ME. I NEED TO DEFEND MYSELF! Or, you can be like, cool man. Yeah, that sucks. Funny, though. And then just vibe along.

It's called outframing.

I know it's counteractive, but just watch the video. You're alarmingly in the "competitive" frame. You'll create these situations ALL THE TIME if you are in this mode.
Sorry bud. I don't watch RSD videos. Also, there's a fine line between joking and disrespect. Did you even read my post?

It's called knowing the fine lines between the two. Why would take everything as a joke when I don't even want these people in my life? Lmao fuck outta here. no thanks
 

YS.

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
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Messages
151
Sorry bud. I don't watch RSD videos. Also, there's a fine line between joking and disrespect. Did you even read my post?

It's called knowing the fine lines between the two. Why would take everything as a joke when I don't even want these people in my life? Lmao fuck outta here. no thanks
Did you even read my post?

You take it as a joke EVEN IF IT'S NOT A JOKE.

You decide to take things as a joke FOR YOU, not for them.

If you actually watched the video this problem would no longer exist.

But I'm 93% sure you're trolling, so there you go my man.

I really should stop trying to give my 2 cents here.
 
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jesslee09

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 14, 2019
Messages
32
Did you even read my post?

You take it as a joke EVEN IF IT'S NOT A JOKE.

You decide to take things as a joke FOR YOU, not for them.

If you actually watched the video this problem would no longer exist.

But I'm 93% sure you're trolling, so there you go my man.

I really should stop trying to give my 2 cents here.
Nope. Thanks for trying though
 

J Wick

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Dec 25, 2012
Messages
585
Gotta agree with YS here,

I’ve never had a problem with drama.

it’s because I’ve got nothing to prove, I don’t need to correct them or even respond.

In fact, if someone comes at me with that energy, they have a lot to prove to me. Are they capable of maturity, communication, cooperation, etc? If not, I just let their shit fly over my head.

Reminds me of how little kids tease the kid who’s easy to bother, they never mess with the kid who literally doesn’t care. They’re immature, don’t stoop to their level, don’t take them seriously.

YS had some great advice. It’s worked for me my whole life. I even made friends with a guy who wanted to physically fight me. I only accept the mature and cooperative side of people, they have to come up to my level. That guy was willing to let go of his anger, and make a friend. That’s some fucking maturity, he proved to me he was worthy of a second chance.

When people don’t want to come up to a level of maturity and cooperation, I literally get confused. It has no use. We could be a team, but you playing.

They feel that. It’s solid in my core, I’ve got personal standards and boundaries that do not waver. They can’t tempt me into their game, and my invitation to cooperate doesn’t end, they just have to step up to get it.

Seeing how your thread descended into an argument, I’m not surprised that you having these issues. Try and reflect on how you’re contributing to it.
 

jesslee09

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 14, 2019
Messages
32
Gotta agree with YS here,

I’ve never had a problem with drama.

it’s because I’ve got nothing to prove, I don’t need to correct them or even respond.

In fact, if someone comes at me with that energy, they have a lot to prove to me. Are they capable of maturity, communication, cooperation, etc? If not, I just let their shit fly over my head.

Reminds me of how little kids tease the kid who’s easy to bother, they never mess with the kid who literally doesn’t care. They’re immature, don’t stoop to their level, don’t take them seriously.

YS had some great advice. It’s worked for me my whole life. I even made friends with a guy who wanted to physically fight me. I only accept the mature and cooperative side of people, they have to come up to my level. That guy was willing to let go of his anger, and make a friend. That’s some fucking maturity, he proved to me he was worthy of a second chance.

When people don’t want to come up to a level of maturity and cooperation, I literally get confused. It has no use. We could be a team, but you playing.

They feel that. It’s solid in my core, I’ve got personal standards and boundaries that do not waver. They can’t tempt me into their game, and my invitation to cooperate doesn’t end, they just have to step up to get it.

Seeing how your thread descended into an argument, I’m not surprised that you having these issues. Try and reflect on how you’re contributing to it.
Why would I prove myself to your level of maturity? Nope
 

Levo

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Jan 20, 2020
Messages
8
jesslee Why would you make a post asking for advice, then be completely rude to the person who posted the exact thing you need to watch?

The best advice to deal with people fucking with you is remember this: Whomever is less reactive in the interaction is seen as the 'winner' 99% of the time.

If someone insults or condescends you and you keep your frame and don't react to it, it makes them look bad, not you. Don't buy into the frame and respond to it, either say something back to them with a different subject, about them, or just continue on and ignore it.


This is a decent example. The judge is obviously in a position of power, but still comes off looking like the jackass in the interaction because he didn't let the comment rattle him.
 
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jesslee09

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Aug 14, 2019
Messages
32
jesslee Why would you make a post asking for advice, then be completely rude to the person who posted the exact thing you need to watch?

The best advice to deal with people fucking with you is remember this: Whomever is less reactive in the interaction is seen as the 'winner' 99% of the time.

If someone insults or condescends you and you keep your frame and don't react to it, it makes them look bad, not you. Don't buy into the frame and respond to it, either say something back to them with a different subject, about them, or just continue on and ignore it.


This is a decent example. The judge is obviously in a position of power, but still comes off looking like the jackass in the interaction because he didn't let the comment rattle him.
LMAO. Dude this is the type of thing I was looking for. Thanks a lot! As far as being rude, I'm sorry if it comes off that way but I'm tired of the 'hurp durp take it as a joke bro' main stream; advice. It's an advice that comes from a person that hasn't faced enough situations like these where they keep on trying you.
 

uriel

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Oct 21, 2019
Messages
151
If you are running into guys and “friends” constantly busting your balls, you need to change environment.

Either they’re dicks and you need to hang with new people or you are the dick. No other way around.

I know that as guys we like to bust each other balls but if it’s all the time every day, that’s a toxic environment and you can get much better company easy.
 
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