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If You Want Girls to Signal You More, Be More (Positively) Alert

James Cruse

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Jun 5, 2020
Messages
287
So, focus more on noticing the positive signals and defocus on the negative signals.

Looking at women's signals as a 'glass half-full' - rather than a 'glass half-empty' like guys who are beginners/lower self-esteem.

I still think always looking for signals is a bit too passive - and very difficult for alot of guys, with a steep learning curve, from my experience.

Women are so crafty at avoiding showing interest signals, especially if she's more experienced with men and dating. I think that's the biggest difference between younger (less-experienced) women and more experienced or older women.

More experienced women become much more savvy in hiding all of their interest signals - either due to having many long-term boyfriends or marriage (where they've learned to suppress those signals towards other men, for the sake of maintaining a committed relationship) or to avoid heartbreak/rejection or appearing too easy to new men. Some women have accrued this level of experience before 19 or 20, if they're attractive enough to have had alot of male attention.

The only truly reliable way I've found to re-orient guys into actually seeing women's interest is through compliance/investment from women. Telling guys to only see the positive signals, even when I point them out repeatedly, doesn't usually work to help or encourage men of a woman's interest (due to the above - women are craftily hiding their interest) unfortunately.

Additionally, those signals are easier to see by a third-party observer - it's much more difficult for women to hide their signals from everyone and much easier to hide them from the man she's interested in because she's so focused on him, as opposed to a random onlooker she's unaware of.

For example; I see women looking at a student (or my friend) and as soon as he looks back at her, she anticipates him seeing her, she turns away before being discovered. She's turned towards him, watching him, open body language, etc.
I've seen this a thousand times.

This is the 'Bootcamp Effect', as I call it: you go out "infield" with these guys and you point out attractive women for them to approach (which he would never have seen on his own) and women giving him signals.
Then once in he approaches, tell him the signals being observed by the seduction coach from a distance (that the student may not see or be focusing on, his focus is usually elsewhere).

After the bootcamp is finished and he goes back to where he lives, none of these third-party observations are available to him - having a second or third set of eyes to see attractive women outside his peripherals or awareness or simply any women giving him signals at any time - is a very under-rated amount of help for a man in seduction.

A good wing (or friend) can help with this - but often other guys are usually under-informed about women's signals or too focused elsewhere to see these signals and they can't be with you to help all the time.

Once guys re-orient themselves to pro-actively focusing on compliance/investment (or lack thereof) - it's like a domino effect for noticing other additional signals that are helpful in a secondary way, rather than many small (and sometimes difficult to observe) signals being solely relied on.
 
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Ratata

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
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Sep 14, 2024
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156
Man, the stuff I've experienced while doing this kind of ... magic! Some of it is hilarious. LIke this one girl, she kissed me out of the blue. Then immediately she went "Wtf, what did I do that for? I have a boyfriend!!!" I wanted to tell her "Well.. .beats me, girl!" But I was too surprised to be able to say anything really. It did make me laugh, though.
 

Ragnar

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 22, 2025
Messages
41
Aside from the repeated glances which is clearly far & away #1, for me the signal trinity has always been:
1) Hair flipping,
2) Lip licking,
3) Shoe Dangling.

These are pretty unmistakable signals if you're 'not sure' she's glancing in your direction.

Hell, even if she was initially looking at the guy behind you if she's exhibiting these behaviors you need to move in confidently because she is ready to hook up with *somebody*.

can you please elaborate on number 3? and maybe give an example?
 

Francis

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
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Mar 27, 2023
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1,803
can you please elaborate on number 3? and maybe give an example?
Picture a well dressed woman in a cocktail lounge wearing high heels. If there's like a strap over the toes, she pulls her heel out and dangles the shoe away from the sole or her foot, hanging from the toes. Maybe swings it slightly.

Good book with pics is Undercover Sex Signals. I don't bother memorizing them though... Literally any exertion in your direction can be interpreted as an AI.
 

gameboy

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Nov 7, 2023
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1,369
When I was a beginner, I had the opposite problem. I was able to spot the signs, but I didn't believe myself. I couldn't believe that these "hot women" were interested in me.
Same here. Either that, or I still couldn't get over the AA.
 

OldGuy

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Jun 10, 2017
Messages
480
I remember a beautiful woman giving tremendous come on signs. I looked behind myself to see who she was going for! (There several other guys, but none looked or acted like they thought she could be interested in them.)
 

Kshatrap A.V.

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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When I was a beginner, I had the opposite problem. I was able to spot the signs, but I didn't believe myself. I couldn't believe that these "hot women" were interested in me.
Can relate. When i used to think like i can't get women , women don't like me. I saw lot of women looking at me but my mind decided to not register them for the same reason as yours.
 

Ratata

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 14, 2024
Messages
156
When I was a beginner, I had the opposite problem. I was able to spot the signs, but I didn't believe myself. I couldn't believe that these "hot women" were interested in me.
This is huge. And basically what really defined me into my high school years.

I noticed that tons of girls gave me "signs" but I just didn't know how to capitalize on it. I just didn't believe in it. Or myself, even. And whenever I did get clear signs - and these signs were clear as a lighthouse beaming at night - I'd just go "Naaaah, that's not possible. It's probably not me she's doing that to, but a guy behind me." (Oh lord...) Or this one was particularly bad "Nah, she's probably just f-ing with me, so she can talk behind my back to her cool friends." (Sighhhhh...)

See, I just wasn't one of the cool kids. This stuff was years of negative social programming at work. In fact in primary school I was bullied. A lot. Which lead me to bully back, and it just created this horrible loop of suffering and doubting myself. Though at one point, I did become this broken bad boy that attracted some broken girls, weirdly. But I rejected them as well. In fact, they didn't even ping on my radar. But looking back I can see that some girls wanted to "take care" of me.

Anyway, this post isn't really about crying about my sad past, but to find out some common denominators on how you can get out of such a rut, and become the cool guy. In the end I never had a gf either in primary or secondary school (high school). And it ate at me.

But during high school, some things happened that changed a lot of things for me. I was still one of the nerds, but for whatever reason I drew the interest of one of - if not the - coolest and most popular guy at school. Likely cuz I was into physics and filmmaking. Strange combo I know, but it was the exact same thing he was into as well, so we started hanging out. Made some films together for fun. Did weird physics experiments. And I went with him to all the parties he was invited to. And suddenly I started to realize that I wasn't invisible to the girls either. And if I just emulated that cool guy, I could be a bit cool too!

So, if you're ever invited along by the "cool" guy, then say yes. Join him. He'll ofc have all the girls, but if he's really cool he won't do that in front of you. Or he won't shove it into your face, like some do. Btw. so probably prepare for that lol. (Btw that's probably the reason why it's sometimes better to go out alone when you've learned but cannot find an actually cool wing to hang out with... But I digress. All I'm saying is that it can sometimes be rough to see your friend take all the action while you get nothing, so that's why I'm mentioning it. You have to be able to distance yourself from that and realize that it's worth some short-term suffering for the longer term gains you'll get from it. Within reason, never let those guys belittle you. Ever. Then just walk away, obviously. Thankfully my guy didn't do that, but some others have certainly tried.)

Then just emulate his ways. I mean, there are also superstars to emulate. I know I've been talking abut emulating the character Johnny Depp played in Don Juan De Marco. But he's not really a "cool guy" in that movie. He's a romantic madman, and there are things to learn from that too, but... You can't really join him to high end parties, or see him interact with the hottest and most high value women on campus on a regular basis. See, cuz that's the real value of hanging out with guys like that. Hearkening back to the sociology post I published earlier. You have to be willing to kick back and observe a bit, and then learn from that, so you can emulate it. Hopefully without falling in love with the same girls as he does, cuz then you're kind of cooked...

Within psychology and pedagogy, there's a concept called tacit knowledge. It refers to understanding that is embodied, procedural, and experiential rather than explicitly verbalized. It’s the kind of knowing that shows up in skilled action, intuition, timing, or judgment, and can only be acquired through practice, imitation, and feedback rather than instruction alone. This is why you can't just read up on those things. Teachers may be unable to fully explain what they know, yet consistently demonstrate competence, because the knowledge is encoded in perception–action loops, habits, and pattern recognition rather than in declarative rules. And that's exactly why it's so good to get a cool guy friend, or try to hang out with those cool people. You can try to explain their actions and behaviour to death, but in the end, the best way to become cool, is to emulate cool through actual observation and practise.
 

Ratata

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Sep 14, 2024
Messages
156
can you please elaborate on number 3? and maybe give an example?
Women dangling her shoes... This is such a cute thing that girls will sometimes do, either as an AI, or nearby you if they're really into you (attracted to you). It's basically her trying to act even more cute and vulnerable (showing her feet) nearby you cuz she likes you, and perhaps have some dirty thoughts. This is particularly geared at the Quentin Tarantino types out there who they know will get weak-knee'd from seeing all that sexual femininity on display. Think about all those pictures made by Milo Manara (look him up NOW). All the while biting their lower lip and giggling a bit, while chatting to you, innocently dangling her shoe like that, basically screaming at you "you're making me horny". I mean ffs take her now! She wants it! Or probably not literally right there, but certainly this is her cue to you that she'd love for you to make a move on her.
 
the right date makes getting her back home a piece of cake

Ragnar

Space Monkey
space monkey
Joined
Jan 22, 2025
Messages
41
Women dangling her shoes... This is such a cute thing that girls will sometimes do, either as an AI, or nearby you if they're really into you (attracted to you). It's basically her trying to act even more cute and vulnerable (showing her feet) nearby you cuz she likes you, and perhaps have some dirty thoughts. This is particularly geared at the Quentin Tarantino types out there who they know will get weak-knee'd from seeing all that sexual femininity on display. Think about all those pictures made by Milo Manara (look him up NOW). All the while biting their lower lip and giggling a bit, while chatting to you, innocently dangling her shoe like that, basically screaming at you "you're making me horny". I mean ffs take her now! She wants it! Or probably not literally right there, but certainly this is her cue to you that she'd love for you to make a move on her.

i appreciate you and kj francis response. i now understand this shoe dangling thing. you made my day (i smiled) when you tied Quentin Tarantino into this discussion. i'm a HUGE fan of his and of course he has the foot fetish, so that was pretty clever of you to mention that. :)
 
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