I'm Unable To Talk To Girls In Nightclubs; Willing To Pay $10,000 For A Solution

[Fuck This]

you just said you were willing to pay...

You ain't getting free advice then.

Pony up some cash and we will talk....

 

[BigPapa]

night game is mainly about preselection . So go early to the spot , socialize with men and women alike , then you go for the kill either with the girls you already talked either to the ones that saw what a preselected guy you are

 

[ElderPrice]

You would really give me $10,000 to join you at a club, physically lift you, carry you to a woman, then hold your head still and pointing at her, then motion your jaw until you say "Hi." ?

 

[Tony D]

I'm unable to talk to girls in bars and nightclubs.

Every weekend I go out and i see other guys dancing and talking to girls while I'm just standing around unable to start any sort of interaction with any girls.

Even when a girl stares at me or makes it obvious she wants to meet me, I'm unable to talk to her.

I've spent years and a lot of money to try to solve this problem.

Nothing has worked so far.

My goal is very simple:

I want to be able to talk to girls in nightclubs at will

that is all.

nothing less

nothing more

i would GLADLY pay $10, 000 for a solution.

Can you come up with three solutions to your problem?
1.
2.
3.

 

[Tony D]

what do you mean by "yes it will work"

i did not ask you if it will work.

i asked you HOW do you know it will work given that you do not do nightgame.

what do you base this on?

also, daygame is 100x easier for me then nightgame.

I've just started daygame and have probably done 20 approaches in the last week.

so far i have literally no bad reactions with every girls at least talking to me.

and im getting 1 in 3-5 girls obviously liking me.

so i have no idea what you are talking about when you say daygame is most difficult.

daygame is 100x easier for me mostly because the girls are alone.

I'm sorry, but in my opinion, based on most of your threads, you have a toxic mentality that is bringing down the quality of this forum. You turn every interaction into a conflict, and don't seem to grasp the the most basic and fundamental concepts of self-development. You don't need a nightgame coach, you need to fundamentally shift your entire philosophy of life.

I could help you, but I don't feel like subjecting myself to the assault of ego you'd likely bombard me with. I don't know if I'd even take you on as a client for 20k in the condition you're in.

If you really wanted success, you'd be humble, drop the cynicism, and listen to the wise voices who are trying their best to honestly help you.

Otherwise, if you don't start to work with us, I'm going to ask the mods to ban you.

 

[ljrozz69]

Hello SnV,

I had read in your journal that you did 3 approaches, congrats!

As I stated some time ago in your journal I think that you have a need for validation (read: you need to get validated).
This explains to me why you make a post like this with obvious click-bait title, why you go to nightclubs, why you fight with guys -to prove to yourself that you are strong- and why you can't approach girls - because you want THEM TO VALIDATE YOU (and not the other way).

There is a chance that this is only the tip of the iceberg and there are also other issues that we can't see/work on here, as to me doing exactly the same thing for many years while expecting different results is just BEING IN DENIAL -and such behavior could be linked to some addiction, maybe-.

I suggest seeking help in real life with those things; a psychologist would be great.
I recommend you to tell them EVERYTHING as THEY WILL NOT JUDGE YOU, they will provide understanding of yourself and will actually help you out with those issues!
Just be sure to belive strongly enough before starting such treatment -as not beliving has a negative impact, since you are not going to tell them everything- and give it enough time.


I hope this really helps and to see results early!!
Klimax

 

[SexNotValidation]

I'm sorry, but in my opinion, based on most of your threads, you have a toxic mentality that is bringing down the quality of this forum. You turn every interaction into a conflict, and don't seem to grasp the the most basic and fundamental concepts of self-development. You don't need a nightgame coach, you need to fundamentally shift your entire philosophy of life.

I could help you, but I don't feel like subjecting myself to the assault of ego you'd likely bombard me with. I don't know if I'd even take you on as a client for 20k in the condition you're in.

If you really wanted success, you'd be humble, drop the cynicism, and listen to the wise voices who are trying their best to honestly help you.

Otherwise, if you don't start to work with us, I'm going to ask the mods to ban you.

i should be banned because people make suggestions to me and i ask questions?

i should be banned for asking questions?

what forum rule have i violated?

also, you live in my city and i have known about your blog for years.

even if you where willing to coach me; i have never had any interest in working with you.

 

[SexNotValidation]

Hello SnV,

I had read in your journal that you did 3 approaches, congrats!

As I stated some time ago in your journal I think that you have a need for validation (read: you need to get validated).
This explains to me why you make a post like this with obvious click-bait title, why you go to nightclubs, why you fight with guys -to prove to yourself that you are strong- and why you can't approach girls - because you want THEM TO VALIDATE YOU (and not the other way).

There is a chance that this is only the tip of the iceberg and there are also other issues that we can't see/work on here, as to me doing exactly the same thing for many years while expecting different results is just BEING IN DENIAL -and such behavior could be linked to some addiction, maybe-.

I suggest seeking help in real life with those things; a psychologist would be great.
I recommend you to tell them EVERYTHING as THEY WILL NOT JUDGE YOU, they will provide understanding of yourself and will actually help you out with those issues!
Just be sure to belive strongly enough before starting such treatment -as not beliving has a negative impact, since you are not going to tell them everything- and give it enough time.


I hope this really helps and to see results early!!
Klimax

I am open to the possibility that i have a need for validation.

that's why i picked this forum name as a way to constantly remind myself that my goal should be sex not validation.

also, i am 100% serious about paying 10K.

I would GLADLY pay $10, 000 for a solution to this problem.

regarding addiction; i do not drink or take drugs but maybe im addicted to nightclubs.

regarding a psychologist:

can i speak to someone over the phone or on skype?

i do not feel comfortable talking about this problem with someone in my city that i might later on run into.

 

[BigPapa]

@SexNotValidation stop being a baby .

if you want to be rational about things let”s start with the fact that whatever you are doing is not having the results you are looking for . So whatever you did till now is not working .

If I were you I would test what people say and see if I get better results and that”s it . For me it worked and to be frank the gc and the blog is a good place to start looking at things from different angles

seduction is not mathematics , sometimes even though you played it correctly you still gonna loose the girl because this is how life is

 

[BigPapa]

And on another note about your mindset , you should love women , not look at them as objects to stick your dick in .

if you just want just a place to put your dick in go buy a plastic doll , at least you will save a lot from those 10k and not hurt girls for no reason

I”ve seen a lot of good girls that were emotionally and mentally bullied and it is just sad to do this kind of things to someone and basically mark them for life as this type of wounds are very difficult to heal .

 

[Tony D]

i should be banned because people make suggestions to me and i ask questions?

i should be banned for asking questions?

what forum rule have i violated?

also, you live in my city and i have known about your blog for years.

even if you where willing to coach me; i have never had any interest in working with you.

Listen. I could give you genuine advice on what would help you... but based off past interactions, I feel like you only want to hear what confirms your existing belief system.

At this stage, you need to step away from going to night clubs and and talk to a life coach, a counsellor, a psychologist, and do some ego and anger management work. Read some good books, starting with:

The Power of Now
A New Earth
Think and Grow Rich
How to make friends and influence people

Get a copy of Tyler's "The Blueprint Decoded." Watch it three times.

Watch videos by Alan Watts, for inner game.
Charisma on Command
Infinite Waters

Stay away from technical pickup stuff for six months while you repair your soul. Learn how to have a positive mindset, understand your ego and how it works, and then start from scratch.

Now let's see how you react to this.

You see, most people who struggle with women and spread toxicity online, they go like this.

"I need help to get results."

People give options...

"That's not good advice. So and so says this. You're wrong. I'm different. That doesn't work."

So everyone says fine... fuck you. And that's it. Back to normal.

Before you build a house you need a foundation.

Don't be that guy.

 

[Chinadoc]

More than thirty replies and still no one has given you the correct answer.

Well, here it is.

Learn how to dance.
Take a break from nightclubs and go to salsa classes instead. The girls are hotter and you will learn a lot more useful skills.
You will boost your confidence, your body language, your comfort levels in talking to and touching women as well as your kino skills.
After a couple of months you will understand that you are now ahead of 99% of all the other guys in just about any other venue that you visit. Even with the so-called seduction gurus, only a tiny proportion of them know how to partner dance.
Once you have hung out with the salsa crowd, you probably will not want to go back to regular night clubs anyway, as you will be too busy killing it at Salsa clubs, black tie balls and upmarket wedding receptions. You will be amazed how many invitations a man who knows how to dance receives. And if you do deign to return to the club scene you will be able to sweep just about any girl off her feet with a few twirls and a dip, as 2 or 3 minutes of dancing is worth hours of verbal escalation.
Report back in April on how you are progressing, and I will give you an address where you can send the cheque.

 

[SexNotValidation]

More than thirty replies and still no one has given you the correct answer.

Well, here it is.

Learn how to dance.
Take a break from nightclubs and go to salsa classes instead. The girls are hotter and you will learn a lot more useful skills.
You will boost your confidence, your body language, your comfort levels in talking to and touching women as well as your kino skills.
After a couple of months you will understand that you are now ahead of 99% of all the other guys in just about any other venue that you visit. Even with the so-called seduction gurus, only a tiny proportion of them know how to partner dance.
Once you have hung out with the salsa crowd, you probably will not want to go back to regular night clubs anyway, as you will be too busy killing it at Salsa clubs, black tie balls and upmarket wedding receptions. You will be amazed how many invitations a man who knows how to dance receives. And if you do deign to return to the club scene you will be able to sweep just about any girl off her feet with a few twirls and a dip, as 2 or 3 minutes of dancing is worth hours of verbal escalation.
Report back in April on how you are progressing, and I will give you an address where you can send the cheque.

thank you for this post.

I've actually wanted to learn dancefloor game for several months now.

I want to learn a style of game that is non verbal and my current understanding is that dancefloor game is the way to do that.

what i do not understand about your message is why salsa?

how is salsa going to help me get laid on the dancefloor of a mainstream club?

should i not learn a style of dancing that will translate to the type of clubs i go to?

or are you saying salsa dancing will help me overcome the extreme anxiety and self consciousness i have in clubs that prevents me from talking to girls or dancing?

also, why should i stop clubbing while i learn to dance?

why not learn to dance while continuing to go clubbing as well?

 

[BigPapa]

@SexNotValidation what you are looking for is a silver bullet which is not the correct mindset As no one can give you this . If you are chasing this you will just be a bitter guy like most of the other guys in the world , and this from my point of view is a shit way of living

What people are talking here is about a manly lifestyle which just happens to be also attractive to girls , but this does not mean that for example if you will be a super salsa dancer women will start open their legs because you are good at dancing .seductions is not a spell that you can learn like in Harry Potter , it is just a lot of Socia intuition and calibration . If you are empathic for example you can speed up things at least at the beginning .

The first step to everything is fundamentals , then after you have at least average fundamentals you can look into more technical things

start looking at attractive guys how they dress , how the walk , what haircuts they have , what facial expressions they do , how they talk etc and try to mimic them at the beginning , then your brain will start noticing patterns and you will auto improve as things go forward .

instead of looking at seduction like you look at mathematics , start looking at seduction as you look at live poker ( some technical skills and a lot of intuition )

 

[Mr.Rob]

Lol learning how to dance is not going to solve anything.

You should listen to what the others and @Tony D are telling you.

The truth is you will never be able to move forward with your goals with women until you fix your thinking to stop holding you back.

I work with the best coaches in the dating industry that I'd love to recommend to you... But there problem is I wouldn't recommend you to them. You would be no fun to teach.

 

[Witcher]

@SexNotValidation

You got really valuable advice here. I encourage you to at least try some of them and, this is important, even if you don't think they may work. Because there are fields where our own intuition and logic toward is not to the point and this is why we turn to pêers and mentors who know better than us for some guidance.

I know you may think that your issue is hopeless but it's not, talking to girls in night clubs is a very achievable outcome. However, maybe you have some mindset issue that makes it way more difficult than it should be. So find below some free ressource that deals with changing behaviors that I have used myself :

WOOP: try this first, you may solve this quicker than you think
Official website with a free kit - A Very good article

Otherwise bigger programs :
Zero-resistance Living
Good Looking Loser How to talk to girls in bars

Good luck

 

[Skills]

There was a point of my life i had tons of anger issues and it was my hormones, i do think snv has hormonal imbalance, he goes off, and gets angry really fast......

mood swings, anxiety, depression, lack of sex drive, indecisiveness and quick to explosive anger are signs of low t..

More than thirty replies and still no one has given you the correct answer.

Well, here it is.

Learn how to dance.
Take a break from nightclubs and go to salsa classes instead. The girls are hotter and you will learn a lot more useful skills.
You will boost your confidence, your body language, your comfort levels in talking to and touching women as well as your kino skills.
After a couple of months you will understand that you are now ahead of 99% of all the other guys in just about any other venue that you visit. Even with the so-called seduction gurus, only a tiny proportion of them know how to partner dance.
Once you have hung out with the salsa crowd, you probably will not want to go back to regular night clubs anyway, as you will be too busy killing it at Salsa clubs, black tie balls and upmarket wedding receptions. You will be amazed how many invitations a man who knows how to dance receives. And if you do deign to return to the club scene you will be able to sweep just about any girl off her feet with a few twirls and a dip, as 2 or 3 minutes of dancing is worth hours of verbal escalation.
Report back in April on how you are progressing, and I will give you an address where you can send the cheque.

some nitpicking points, I do agree a bit on what you wrote but lets take some things into acct. :
- "the girls are hotter" that depends on your type of girls, for example i know guys that are into white girls and into black girls
- A guy good at verbal game may struggle with women that in most cases do not speak english. Even if you are bilingual and you are used to gaming in English to game in spanish may cause some issues.
- partner dancing in most cases is not as fast game as regular club/club dancing, in fact with partner dancing is hard to differentiate yourself (most are at the same level of dance skill)
- The game is a bit slower than in American/western type clubs and in some cases courtship expected (game is slower)
-the op is Black.... The target guy for women are latin dudes and in some cases white (but no really), Blacks may have to put a lot more numbers.
-this falls more into social circle game in some cases....

 

[Chinadoc]

what i do not understand about your message is why salsa?

Because it is the most accessible style worldwide and because it is one of the easier and more fun forms to study.
You could go and study ballet at the Bolshoi and you would be drowning in hot Russian pussy, but the entry barriers are quite a bit higher and you would have to work a lot harder.
What classes do you have in your area?
Swing? Country? Tango?

how is salsa going to help me get laid on the dancefloor of a mainstream club?

Most clubs play at least some Latin tunes, which will be your time to shine.

should i not learn a style of dancing that will translate to the type of clubs i go to?

Sure, what kind of clubs do you go to?
Bear in mind that once you get into your 30s, 40s and beyond you probably won't be going to those clubs anymore and any skills you learned specifically for them will not be any use in later life. Salsa will be useful to well into your retirement and is a great long term investment.

or are you saying salsa dancing will help me overcome the extreme anxiety and self consciousness i have in clubs that prevents me from talking to girls or dancing?

Definitely. Once you start dancing close with hot sexy salseras, club girls will no longer be intimidating to you. Plus the less you say they better. All girls have a secret fantasy about being whisked of their feet by a strong lead.

also, why should i stop clubbing while i learn to dance?
why not learn to dance while continuing to go clubbing as well?

You can keep going to clubs if you, but I do not see the point if you are too anxious to talk to anybody or dance with anybody.

I would focus on dance classes instead. The salsa community has a very high proportion of hot girls, usually more so than clubs. Clubs are filled with fat chicks that you rarely see at salsa classes.
There is usually an in crowd of instructors and fanatics that meet up before classes and then go out to party afterwards. Hot Latina salsa teachers give you amazing social proof.

why not learn to dance while continuing to go clubbing as well?

Sure if you want, I just did not think that your clubbing experiences were particularly rewarding at the moment, and the time could be better spent elsewhere.

 

[Chrance]

Because it is the most accessible style worldwide and because it is one of the easier and more fun forms to study.
You could go and study ballet at the Bolshoi and you would be drowning in hot Russian pussy, but the entry barriers are quite a bit higher and you would have to work a lot harder.
What classes do you have in your area?
Swing? Country? Tango?



Most clubs play at least some Latin tunes, which will be your time to shine.



Sure, what kind of clubs do you go to?
Bear in mind that once you get into your 30s, 40s and beyond you probably won't be going to those clubs anymore and any skills you learned specifically for them will not be any use in later life. Salsa will be useful to well into your retirement and is a great long term investment.



Definitely. Once you start dancing close with hot sexy salseras, club girls will no longer be intimidating to you. Plus the less you say they better. All girls have a secret fantasy about being whisked of their feet by a strong lead.



You can keep going to clubs if you, but I do not see the point if you are too anxious to talk to anybody or dance with anybody.

I would focus on dance classes instead. The salsa community has a very high proportion of hot girls, usually more so than clubs. Clubs are filled with fat chicks that you rarely see at salsa classes.
There is usually an in crowd of instructors and fanatics that meet up before classes and then go out to party afterwards. Hot Latina salsa teachers give you amazing social proof.




Sure if you want, I just did not think that your clubbing experiences were particularly rewarding at the moment, and the time could be better spent elsewhere.

Bro, if you want to get good at talking to chicks then you need to talk to chicks. You need to open your mouth and use your words in order to convey your personality. Memorizing dancing patterns does not do this. Please explain, with great clarity, how memorizing dancing patterns helps improve your ability to convey your thoughts and feelings (ie your character) through your words to a group of girls in a club, which btw aren’t only filled with fat chicks. That’s like thinking learning an instrument will make you better at improv; the muscle memory doesn’t transfer lol. I’ve seen enough Hispanic dudes dance with a girl to nowhere or wait for “the right song” to know that salsa/bachata are mere tools, but don’t get to the heart of the interaction; many of these guys are hopeless because they trapped themselves with one trick to get a make out or hook; any situation outside of the Hispanic-dance-floor-vibe-hour is inaccessible, like two babes just chillen by the bar.

@SexNotValidation
You need to go out every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night. Maybe more if possible.

You need to have a basic opener to use (“yo, how are you guys doing tonight?”)

You need to have an SNL plan to get the girl alone to fuck that night and a date plan if you have to settle for a day2. An SNL plan would be: get her alone and outside, then to your car (I want to show you a song I’ve been hooked on, come on), then close in the back of the car; or hint at a another location (there’s a cool place at X. I might head there later. You should come.) and if she’s receptive then take her hand and go; there’s a lot to be said about this, I may make a post on it

A date plan would be: there’s this cool place at X, we should grab a drink or coffee there sometime (she responds) cool, is Monday/Tuesday/any day good? (She responds) Cool, it was nice meeting you tonight blahblahblah. I’ll see you then.
^^maybe not the best way to do it but you see what I’m getting at here

From here you need to start approaching
a lot. Eventually you start getting lays and your mind alters. As you get better and more comfortable you can start adding in more difficult techniques. You will get blown out; you will make out with bitches that go no where; you will find girls that simply like your look and straightforwardness

I’ll even say that going out and having a shitty night of weakness and no action actually improves you subconsciously, for you will at least see guys going to work (proof to you that it can be done) and you will at least develop more mental self control and calmness than before - basically, don’t have excuses for yourself and think “I’m not gonna get anything tonight so what’s the point?”

Note: there’s exceptions to the above if you have severe anxiety; in that case seek a professional who can help you with that specifically.

Another note: reflect on your night once it is over, via field report or however you prefer to reflect. Think about what you could have done. These thoughts and solutions will bleed into your interactions.

 

[suspicious5]

i would GLADLY pay $10, 000 for a solution.

I have the perfect solution for you. It's a secret passed down from generations. Men have been using this one weird trick to get layed in bars and nightclubs with minimal effort. It is so effective, Pick up coaches have been trying to hide it from their socially retarded clients for years.

Best part? You only need to spend a few bucks.

It's called alcohol.