- Joined
- Jul 6, 2014
- Messages
- 486
The Approach
I had already done my 5 approaches that day and it was starting to get dark, but I noticed her walking nearby and thought "eh what the hell, might as well go for it" because I was genuinely attracted to her and while I had approached some cute girls today, I was still feeling pretty blase about them.
Her makeup was on point and she looked very pretty. I first opened her by complimenting her accessories. She was smiling but she said she was in a rush. I say "shall we keep walking then ?" and she was down for that. We check out some shops nearby. She ask's me what I do and I have her guess what I'm studying and she says marketing. I ask "are you just saying that because I present well?
" She says " well presented, and because you just talked to a stranger on the street. You must be very socialized" I tell her that actually I'm a stem phd student.
She asks me if I had dinner yet, and I asked her if she was hungry but she said she already ate. She holds up some leftovers she has from a cooking class she went to earlier. I asked her what she made and she lists some italian dishes. so I say "wow, sounds like the perfect dinner for a romantic date" she says "yea haha". "so next time, you'll be prepared" and she says " hmm yea! It's easier than I imagined".
Her: How long is your phd?
Me: in total it's 5 years
Her: my friend was studying biomedical engineering but now hes working and he's also researcher at [top school]
Her: He's very smart...just for study, not for relationships! haha
Me: wow you've already given this some thought
Her: haha because we're very close and everytime he tells me his stories and ah?
Her: I feel surprised...haha
Me:...that he's not talented?
Her: because I just wonder a guy who can manage himself in a relationship so badly but he can manage his studies so well
Me: sometimes it's lopsided like that
Her: ...Where do you live? You live around here?(The hell? was this a window? It had only been about 20 min at that point and she already knew where I lived)
Me:[district]
Her: oh yea... I don't know where that is...
She proceeds to tell me some story about a flight attendant who was infected w/ corona virus who ate at a popular restaurant there. I guess this means my area will experience a zombie apocalypse soon.
Train Ride Back Home
Then we take the train back together, since we both have to go in that direction to get home. On the way to the train station, She asks me with a smile if I normally talk to girls like this and I say "only the ones with cute earrings from hong kong " She's staying at a hotel downtown and my apt is two stops later(via a transfer). On the train I set some anonymity frames like how when you're traveling you can be whoever you want to be because no one knows you and you're also not expected to conform to any social norms from either country. She agrees and relates with this strongly. Throughout the train ride, I also set some nonjudgemental frames.
I ask her what she likes to do in her down time and she says she takes online courses for fun,which is something that I really relate to so I qualify her by saying I get along well with people who are self improvement oriented and that the little changes add up a lot over time. She says that because she took a course on english, she felt more comfortable with it and otherwise if someone came up to her on the street, she would've been too frightened to talk to them but because she learned english, she was more comfortable.
At this point she starts saying she's feeling tired and groggy b/c she woke up at 5am and she's jetlagged.
I forget why, but somehow the convo turned to friends and she tells me how some friends you have are known as "play friends" she tries to explain this concept to me in her almost-fluent English and I misinterpret this as "special friends" she says "haha no not that kind of friends. The kind where you eat, drink, and chill together" (I still dont know what she means exactly)
Checking out the City Lights
Then we get off the train and she comments how the ride went by so quickly. I take her in the opposite direction to her hotel to see some lights. As we're walking, her necklace falls down to her chest so she takes it and fixes it again around her hair. I use this as an excuse to fix her hair so that it's out of the way and the necklace is tucked in again.
while we're walking we somehow end up talking about how some couples live in separate bedrooms. She thinks that's crazy but I say that it probably leads to more passionate relationships(I don't know if I actually believe that, but I wanted to paint a picture) I described the boring routine of a relationship with a couple living together where they have the same sex every night and doze off. and there's no spontaneity, it's just the same old same old and then I contrasted that with couples living in separate bedrooms. They have to constantly seduce each other and that keeps things fresh. From there I transition into the sexual frustration routine. At the end I said "and actually women can have 8 different kinds of orgasms. did you know that?" I didn't go into depth in this. She was engaged with this conversation and talking about sex with her felt quite natural.
Failed Pull
After we check out the lights, I walk her to her hotel and I try to do a yes ladder which I did quite badly actually. basically one of the questions I asked was "Are you glad you met a random stranger tonight?" which hurt similarity because she said "uhh but I hope we can be friends and share our secrets with each other(probably because I set a nonjudgemental and discretion frame earlier)". I shouldn't have referred to myself as a random stranger. Anyways I suggested we watch an episode of some tv show she was raving about earlier, but she's too tired and needs to sleep. She flys out the next day. I add her on whatsapp and she suggests maybe we can go hiking tomorrow, which I shot down (I did not want to go hiking) and I told her we go try a restaurant in my district(which she's uneasy about, probably due to the coronavirus stuff) But we agree that we'll figure something out. She responds to my icebreaker very warmly. The next morning I call her and she was very responsive. I suggest cooking at my place and then going out to see this tourist attraction. But she just wants to buy some fruits at target and then nap before her flight.
I will analyze this more later. For now, I just want to note that it's possible I'll see her again in a few months if she comes down to my city again. It seems she comes by my side of the pond occasionally. Maybe I can ping her every few weeks.
I had already done my 5 approaches that day and it was starting to get dark, but I noticed her walking nearby and thought "eh what the hell, might as well go for it" because I was genuinely attracted to her and while I had approached some cute girls today, I was still feeling pretty blase about them.
Her makeup was on point and she looked very pretty. I first opened her by complimenting her accessories. She was smiling but she said she was in a rush. I say "shall we keep walking then ?" and she was down for that. We check out some shops nearby. She ask's me what I do and I have her guess what I'm studying and she says marketing. I ask "are you just saying that because I present well?
" She says " well presented, and because you just talked to a stranger on the street. You must be very socialized" I tell her that actually I'm a stem phd student.She asks me if I had dinner yet, and I asked her if she was hungry but she said she already ate. She holds up some leftovers she has from a cooking class she went to earlier. I asked her what she made and she lists some italian dishes. so I say "wow, sounds like the perfect dinner for a romantic date
" she says "yea haha". "so next time, you'll be prepared" and she says " hmm yea! It's easier than I imagined".Her: How long is your phd?
Me: in total it's 5 years
Her: my friend was studying biomedical engineering but now hes working and he's also researcher at [top school]
Her: He's very smart...just for study, not for relationships! haha
Me: wow you've already given this some thought
Her: haha because we're very close and everytime he tells me his stories and ah?
Her: I feel surprised...haha
Me:...that he's not talented?
Her: because I just wonder a guy who can manage himself in a relationship so badly but he can manage his studies so well
Me: sometimes it's lopsided like that
Her: ...Where do you live? You live around here?(The hell? was this a window? It had only been about 20 min at that point and she already knew where I lived)
Me:[district]
Her: oh yea... I don't know where that is...
She proceeds to tell me some story about a flight attendant who was infected w/ corona virus who ate at a popular restaurant there. I guess this means my area will experience a zombie apocalypse soon.
Train Ride Back Home
Then we take the train back together, since we both have to go in that direction to get home. On the way to the train station, She asks me with a smile if I normally talk to girls like this and I say "only the ones with cute earrings from hong kong
" She's staying at a hotel downtown and my apt is two stops later(via a transfer). On the train I set some anonymity frames like how when you're traveling you can be whoever you want to be because no one knows you and you're also not expected to conform to any social norms from either country. She agrees and relates with this strongly. Throughout the train ride, I also set some nonjudgemental frames.I ask her what she likes to do in her down time and she says she takes online courses for fun,which is something that I really relate to so I qualify her by saying I get along well with people who are self improvement oriented and that the little changes add up a lot over time. She says that because she took a course on english, she felt more comfortable with it and otherwise if someone came up to her on the street, she would've been too frightened to talk to them but because she learned english, she was more comfortable.
At this point she starts saying she's feeling tired and groggy b/c she woke up at 5am and she's jetlagged.
I forget why, but somehow the convo turned to friends and she tells me how some friends you have are known as "play friends" she tries to explain this concept to me in her almost-fluent English and I misinterpret this as "special friends" she says "haha no not that kind of friends. The kind where you eat, drink, and chill together" (I still dont know what she means exactly)
Checking out the City Lights
Then we get off the train and she comments how the ride went by so quickly. I take her in the opposite direction to her hotel to see some lights. As we're walking, her necklace falls down to her chest so she takes it and fixes it again around her hair. I use this as an excuse to fix her hair so that it's out of the way and the necklace is tucked in again.
while we're walking we somehow end up talking about how some couples live in separate bedrooms. She thinks that's crazy but I say that it probably leads to more passionate relationships(I don't know if I actually believe that, but I wanted to paint a picture) I described the boring routine of a relationship with a couple living together where they have the same sex every night and doze off. and there's no spontaneity, it's just the same old same old and then I contrasted that with couples living in separate bedrooms. They have to constantly seduce each other and that keeps things fresh. From there I transition into the sexual frustration routine. At the end I said "and actually women can have 8 different kinds of orgasms. did you know that?" I didn't go into depth in this. She was engaged with this conversation and talking about sex with her felt quite natural.
Failed Pull
After we check out the lights, I walk her to her hotel and I try to do a yes ladder which I did quite badly actually. basically one of the questions I asked was "Are you glad you met a random stranger tonight?" which hurt similarity because she said "uhh but I hope we can be friends and share our secrets with each other(probably because I set a nonjudgemental and discretion frame earlier)". I shouldn't have referred to myself as a random stranger. Anyways I suggested we watch an episode of some tv show she was raving about earlier, but she's too tired and needs to sleep. She flys out the next day. I add her on whatsapp and she suggests maybe we can go hiking tomorrow, which I shot down (I did not want to go hiking) and I told her we go try a restaurant in my district(which she's uneasy about, probably due to the coronavirus stuff) But we agree that we'll figure something out. She responds to my icebreaker very warmly. The next morning I call her and she was very responsive. I suggest cooking at my place and then going out to see this tourist attraction. But she just wants to buy some fruits at target and then nap before her flight.
I will analyze this more later. For now, I just want to note that it's possible I'll see her again in a few months if she comes down to my city again. It seems she comes by my side of the pond occasionally. Maybe I can ping her every few weeks.
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