Tuesday January 22
Approaches: 13
Invites Home: 1
Result: Instant Date with Failed Date, Bounced to New Venue, Came Home with Her, Strong LMR caused by Timid Escalation
I went out at 6pm with the goal of approaching and propositioning girls on the street.
Approached 12 girls in about 40 minutes and failed with all. On this night my vibe was bad and nervous enough that no girl entertained me…. For anything!
Went to my local coffee shop and I saw that a girl whom I went on a failed date with in Dec 2018, and also ironically saw earlier in the day at the same coffee shop, was still sitting there working. Earlier in the day the coffee shop was empty except for her and a few people, but I was in a rush in the morning – I said hi, asked how her New Years vacation was, and then told her I had to run to a meeting but just wanted to say hello. Well, in the evening I decided to pull up next to her after I grabbed my wine and asked “is this seat taken?” She looked up and was surprised to see me, and I sat down next to her. Luckily it seemed she was actually still attracted to me, but because I had already gone on a failed date before I had some work to do. I took out my laptop and started to do work alongside her, but talked with her periodically.
I caught up on her travels and found out she went skiing the past weekend with a friend of hers who lived in San Diego and was visiting (male friend). It sounded like an ex-lover. We didn’t go too much into it, but I used the opportunity to start deep diving. Eventually she saw I got a wine and got one herself, then she stopped doing real work (so did I) and we started to talk about work and fun stuff. We started to connect very well.
My next move was to suggest we go grab drinks somewhere nearby, and I moved her to a bar down the street. By this point she was very engaged with me and was walking very close to me on the street, in my personal space. Her hand was hanging down by mine, so I grabbed it and held it like a couple, and she complied. We sat at the bar and I excused myself to go to the bathroom while I thought about next steps. Meanwhile I saw that her friend texted her and asked if she was free later, and she replied she thought he was busy. They were texting while I was in the bathroom.
When I came back I shifted the topic to relationships, and then sex talk. While I was delivering the 8 orgasms routine, she all of a sudden got very horny and started to be physical with me – she grabbed my arms and started to rub them. I in turn touched her back – but I didn’t realize that I was actually underinvesting in her here. She touched her legs to mine and kept touching me and rubbing my arms and holding them and caressing them.
It felt so good but I missed the point – she was really fucking horny.
We had already finished our food, at this point I was just waiting for her to finish her wine so we could get out of there and go home. This took about twenty minutes and I kept talking about football, relationships, and sex, and some other stuff. Once she finished I said let’s go, and we left.
Note: might have been better to tell her let’s go way sooner and forced her to drink her wine, or drank it for her. The point being – I want to get home ASAP too because I’m horny as well. Instead I took my time and was suave and smooth. Maybe this was a mistake.
On the walk home I invited her to join me for a glass of wine. I need to do more plausible deniability – like asking them if they like art and showing my art to women. She told me she’d come for thirty minutes but then has to go home. Once we got inside my building I kissed her for the first time – but pulled back quickly. She was so horny, but I didn’t realize how horny she was.
Once we got in my place she took off her shoes and toured around as I got water. As I gave her the water she grabbed me; I put it down and kissed her, and she immediately shoved her tongue down my throat.
At this point I should have escalated on her aggressively, but instead I decided to cool it and try to be smooth – and I slowed things way down. I kissed her passionately and caressed her ass and neck, and felt her body, but slowly and passionately and deliberately. She was moaning loudly but this was exactly the wrong move – I should have gone really fucking hard on her.
I moved us to the couch, then picked her up and threw her on the bed. She giggled when I threw her on the bed and kept moaning and making out with me.
I wasn’t hard, though, which was a problem. At some point while making out with me she felt my penis over my jeans and realized I wasn’t hard. At this point she started to LMR, hard, and talked about going home soon.
I flipped on our side and was warm, and caressed her and laughed, and kept trying to make out. She put her hand over my jeans again, but I was still limp. I had last cracked on porn the weekend before, which wasn’t good, so I think I was feeling very low sex drive. I got a little harder later, but it was maybe 25% hardness. She started to autoreject, and while she showed me her earrings and her birthmark behind her ear, and we laughed and chilled, this was overall very bad.
While I got the girl home, I completely botched the escalation and she either cooled off, or thought I didn’t find her attractive. Which is completely opposite of the truth – I thought she was really sexy, cool, and hot. Because I liked her, I didn’t take the risk of escalating hard and risking rejection.
I showed her some of my work before leaving, and my cameras. We walked out making out and holding hands, and she kissed me upon leaving. She knew I was going to Canada for work for the weekend, so when I texted her the next day and suggested we grab drinks when I get back, she wished me a great trip.
Fast forward to this week, I reached out to her again and this is how the text exchange went:
1/28
Me: Hey VV - how was your weekend...and your friend's visit/party?

Her: It was good. Yours?
Me: It was great - exhausted from the travel though!
Me: Let's get together this week - how's your schedule looking?

1/29
Her: Hey! I might be free to hang out. But just to be open with you, I’d be open to hanging out as friends
Me: Sure, that's totally fine with me VV

. What evening works best for you?
1/30
Her: I could do tmr
Me: Cool, that works for me

. I'll be home by 6:30. We can order some delivery if you're hungry too
Her: Let's find a restaurant nearby? Or we can just do a drink later
Here I was testing to see if she might have meant an FWB/FB frame when she said she's open to meeting as friends, but alas it seems like my lack of a good escalation cost me this girl.
I was super bummed about this on Tuesday January 29th; I really liked this girl, but it showed me what happens when I don’t risk rejection, and also what happens if a girl is really horny and I don’t get hard for her.
ED is a major cock-block, and that’s something I really have to fix in my life. This experience made me realize how important it is to close no matter what - I'll get rejected anyway, so might as well go for it as hard as I can. It also made me realize that I need to be rock hard and excited for a girl the moment she walks into my building - just her agreeing to come home with me means she has decided I'm sexy and wants to fuck me. At that moment, I need to stop thinking about game and just get out of my head and into sex mode.