Is compliance actually a sign of attraction, or just basic social politeness?

[Arnav]

I’m struggling to understand the concpet of compliance in my interactions with girls.

When I approach them and start talking, I can often get them to move or comply with small requests, like allowing me to inspect a piece of jewelry they’re wearing or move a few feet.

However, despite this, they seem to lose interest shortly afterward and go about their day. ( I am not really good with banter and flirting right now but I can hold a decent conversation)

When I try to take things further by asking them out, nearly all of them refuse numbers and instead offer me their Instagram, and after a brief chat on insta, they either dodge the meetup or stop responding altogether.

I was under the impression that if I could get a girl to comply with requests, it was a sign of high attraction or interest. But in my experience, it doesn't seem to play out that way.

So, I’m wondering: is compliance a reliable indicator of attraction, or is it more of an attraction amplifier?

An example approach made where I teased her, moved, asked her out but the girl never responded on insta.

 

[Arnav]

I’m struggling to understand the concpet of compliance in my interactions with girls.

When I approach them and start talking, I can often get them to move or comply with small requests, like allowing me to inspect a piece of jewelry they’re wearing or move a few feet.

However, despite this, they seem to lose interest shortly afterward and go about their day. ( I am not really good with banter and flirting right now but I can hold a decent conversation)

When I try to take things further by asking them out, nearly all of them refuse numbers and instead offer me their Instagram, and after a brief chat on insta, they either dodge the meetup or stop responding altogether.

I was under the impression that if I could get a girl to comply with requests, it was a sign of high attraction or interest. But in my experience, it doesn't seem to play out that way.

So, I’m wondering: is compliance a reliable indicator of attraction, or is it more of an attraction amplifier?

An example approach made where I teased her, moved, asked her out but the girl never responded on insta.

An example approach I made


(I spot a really happy girl running around like crazy trying to find an exit of the subway, I appraoch and open her)


me: hi excecuse me I just saw you passing by and I think
your fashinon sense is pretty good
she: oh mine?
me: yeah
she: (laughs puts both hands on her chest) ohh, thank you
me: so what do you do , are you working are you in college?
she: pauses slightly laughs again, I actually work in national intelligence services.
me: whatt? really? ( the kind of girls you can meet in cold appraoch still amazes me)
she: yeah (smiling)
me: so are you like an undercover agent or something?
she: no, I actually assist in research.
me: so you're dealing with hardcore criminals and terrorists
stuff like that?
she: no actually I just assist the investigators with the reasearch primarliy and they catch they catch the bad guys/
me: okayyy. ( I think we should move over a bit, make way for people ) * she moves* +compliance
me: you looked lost by the way, I saw you spinning around
she: ohh yeah, I have to meet my friend and I am late.
me: okay you are pretty bad with directions then for someone
being in the intelligence.
she: laughs yeah I actually just joined 6 months back
me: oh really , so you're new there.
she: yeah.
me: are you not from this city ? where are you from ?
she: I am from abc city.
me: okay that's not too far from here though.
she: yeah it's close but I am still new here. I want to explore
this city more.
me: sure.
She: I can't find exit no7 though I am getting late to meet my frined. can you help me?
me: (I make a worried face ) I am getting late but if you insist .
okay sure I'll help you find it quickly
she: thanks
me: okay follow me +compliance
(I take her to other part of the subway, while continuing to talk)
and she is walking with me)
me: you look really harmless by the way, really jovial and happy go lucky for someone in national intelligence
she: laughs, really?
me: yeah
she: yeah maybe because I have just joined, after a few years maybe I'll also look hardcore.
me: *laugh* sure
so If you're free on weekends, maybe we can meet sometime?
she: yeah sure
me: are you on whatss app?( I take out my phone while we are walking)
give me your number
she: ohh, I'll give you my insta.
me: okay sure. ( I hand her the phone, she searches her profile
from my phone and sends a follow request)
me: (I look at her profile has no picture , very 20 followers, 3o following , 0 posts)
that looks like a classic undercover agent profile.
she: laughs, yeah we are not allowed to post much
me: okayy.
she: where are we? do you really know the way
me: yeah I know, gate 7
I think it's on the other side, come fast
* we both start running together*
me: so this girl, your'e metting is she your best freind.
she: ohh no, I feel bad for saying so but not really.
me: okay , she's going to be pretty mad you're so late
she: yeahh i Knowww
* we stop running*
me:here is the exit 7 you can go from here now
she: thanks
me: hey I forgot your name by the way
she: it's monica ( smiling)
me: ohh okay *I shake her hand* +compliance
she: sorry I forgot yours too ( smiling )
me: it's arnav
she: okayy ( smiling)
me: okay bye monica. enoy your day
she: byee

( this girl was smiling and very happy go lucky
throughout my interaction)

 

[Chase]

@Arnav,

Do you continue escalating compliance?

e.g.,

1. Take her hand on greeting
2. Inspect a piece of jewelry she has on
3. Move her a few feet
4. Incidental touch as you make points / on high points
5. Spin her around
6. Find an excuse to physically move her ("Okay, so take a look at this..." grab her and gently turn her)

Etc.?

Compliance is both an indicator of attraction and an attraction amplifier.

However, many people will comply out of politeness to an extent.

The more she complies, the more likely she is to be into you and the more into you she will tend to become, however.

Chase

 

[Arnav]

@Arnav,

Do you continue escalating compliance?

e.g.,

1. Take her hand on greeting
2. Inspect a piece of jewelry she has on
3. Move her a few feet
4. Incidental touch as you make points / on high points
5. Spin her around
6. Find an excuse to physically move her ("Okay, so take a look at this..." grab her and gently turn her)

Etc.?

Compliance is both an indicator of attraction and an attraction amplifier.

However, many people will comply out of politeness to an extent.

The more she complies, the more likely she is to be into you and the more into you she will tend to become, however.

Chase

I move her within 1 to 2 mins and some where in the conversation I will take her hand to see her jewelry , that's it. I just do 2 pieces of compliance in conversations.

I heard so much about compliance in the forums, I thought if a girl moved with you. It was a done deal but I was surprised by failed date or number closes even when I moved the girls.

My conversations are pleasant but maybe not very witty and I am working on teasing the girls more and being playfullness but I am not the most funniest guy so that could be a reason for the failed number closes.

I was relying on moving the girl being an indicator of high interest and closing such girls to get some early wins.

 

[Chase]

@Arnav,

Seduction is a process. There is no magic one move that locks a girl in or seals the deal with her, at least not consistently.

With compliance, you need to be thinking about it as a continual escalation. Do you have One Date? If so, review the parts of the course where I talk about the Breadcrumb Principle. This is a very important concept to understand.

Other ways of putting that are building a "compliance ladder"... one (purely verbal, very structured) example of that is a yes-ladder.

Moving girls is an important early step in getting a girl to commit to the interaction.

However, there is much more to a seduction than this.

My conversations are pleasant but maybe not very witty and I am working on teasing the girls more and being playfullness but I am not the most funniest guy so that could be a reason for the failed number closes.

That's good. Keep working at it; you will improve.

Also, start screening girls if you are not yet, and qualifying them on their responses. Sometimes the reason pleasant conversations where the girl is relatively compliant don't lead anywhere is because the girl simply cannot figure out why you are into her (i.e., you asking her out feels incongruent). Screening + qualifying resolves this issue.

Also:

me: *laugh* sure
so If you're free on weekends, maybe we can meet sometime?
she: yeah sure
me: are you on whatss app?( I take out my phone while we are walking)
give me your number
she: ohh, I'll give you my insta.
me: okay sure. ( I hand her the phone, she searches her profile
from my phone and sends a follow request)

Make your ask outs more authoritative (e.g., "We should grab a bite or a drink sometime" -- it is not a question, it is a suggestion) then tell you you'll text her (which presumes her giving you her number).

Read this:

How to Get a Phone Number from a Girl Every Time You Ask

One of the most glaring things missing from the content available on the blog here has been an authoritative article on how to get a phone number from a girl. I put up "Natural Number Swapping" sometime back, and that covers the basics; Ricardus has covered phone numbers somewhat in a couple of...

www.girlschase.com

If she tries to push you off to Instagram (to turn you into a follower), do this:

What to Say When She Says "Add Me on Instagram"

Girls today use “add me on Instagram” as their default close line – and brush off. If you’d like to be MORE than just another nameless follower, read on. There’s an epidemic right now of women shifting men over to Instagram followers when those men try to go for the contact close. “Add me on...

www.girlschase.com

(I also quite like @Hue's line for this, if the girl asks you if you have IG: "Oh... I uninstalled it." It's not "I don't have it", but instead it tells her you used to have it, then got rid of it. Much more relatable to a girl who uses IG for everything.)

Cheers,
Chase

 

[Water69]

Insta gram is A§§ they only give to disarm the simps

 

[Ratata]

No, "just" moving her is not enough. "Just" having her follow you for a few feet is not enough. Compliance is a sign of trust. The longer she'll come with you, the more she trusts you. She has to trust you, while you're being sexual, while there is sexual tension in the air. That's when you know you've got useful compliance.

Example:

You're having a conversation. It starts fairly platonic, but... Then you move closer, and perhaps look more intensely into her eyes. Perhaps you pause ... more ... as you speak to her. Maybe you get to a point where you shake hands with her, and then do the 60 routine by loosening the grip a little but not letting go completely yet, while continuing to look deeply into her eyes, smile and speak with ... (bites lips) ... pauses. Maybe bring up some innocent topics that are extremely easy to manipulate into a more ... suggestive ... lane, such as picking cherries, shopping cucumbers or ... cream, or taking a hot ... bath..... and just ... sliding back in the tub whi... --- Ahem I'm sure you get the point here. Like, if she still trust you when you go like that, then.........................

If you're afraid of being seductive, then compliance matters very little.

 

[Arnav]

No, "just" moving her is not enough. "Just" having her follow you for a few feet is not enough. Compliance is a sign of trust. The longer she'll come with you, the more she trusts you. She has to trust you, while you're being sexual, while there is sexual tension in the air. That's when you know you've got useful compliance.

Example:

You're having a conversation. It starts fairly platonic, but... Then you move closer, and perhaps look more intensely into her eyes. Perhaps you pause ... more ... as you speak to her. Maybe you get to a point where you shake hands with her, and then do the 60 routine by loosening the grip a little but not letting go completely yet, while continuing to look deeply into her eyes, smile and speak with ... (bites lips) ... pauses. Maybe bring up some innocent topics that are extremely easy to manipulate into a more ... suggestive ... lane, such as picking cherries, shopping cucumbers or ... cream, or taking a hot ... bath..... and just ... sliding back in the tub whi... --- Ahem I'm sure you get the point here. Like, if she still trust you when you go like that, then.........................

If you're afraid of being seductive, then compliance matters very little.

Yeah , i think i had the wrong idea of compliance. I used to think of it as one move - move her>compliance done, much better to see it as [ ^ BUILDING compliance ]