Is life experience necessary for mastering social skills

[Marley]

So for context if someone wanted to go from completely socially hopeless to mastering social skills at a later age what would one need to do in order to accomplish that goal. Currently I am 26 a virgin living with my parents working a shitty minimum wage job and have absolutely no life experience whatsoever girls basically ignore me and I don’t really have any friends outside of a couple childhood buddies. I’ve always been quiet and reserved and not really that social. If I wanted to go from complete beginner to mastery how could I go about that.

 

[Marley]

Just to expand. I find it almost impossible to provide conversational value/relate to girls my age. A lot of them have traveled to different countries and done way more interesting things. Seems almost impossible rn.

 

[James D]

I'm back in my home country and caught up with my younger cousins.

One of them is 14 and man, this kid's got charisma.

He was cracking joke after joke in very witty ways. He wasn't just being a clown. He had the women blushing and younger girls at the party (it was his brother's birthday party) looking very interested in their shy, awkward teenage ways.

That same cousin confessed to me that he started smoking and banged his first chick. I discouraged him on the former but congratulated him on the latter.

A natural in formation. Beautiful thing to behold.

His social intelligence is far beyond most people I've ever met and certainly above any 14 year old I have ever met.

His life experience is also quasi nil. Dude's never been out of our small island, I don't think he's even been south of that same island lol.

Just a kid with excellent social skills.

So, to answer your question, no, life experience is not needed for excellent social skills.

A socially attractive individual is one who makes others around him feel good. He respects others and makes himself respected.

The gist of it is to make others feel good.

Whenever you interact with someone, there's an energy exchange. People are sensitive to it.

If it's negative, they will steer clear of you.

If it's neutral, they are, well, neutral around you. Still better than being negative IMO.

If it's positive, you become someone people like having around and seek.

I'm being blessed with a pretty cool life right now at 25, with lots of travelling, new experiences, a hot girlfriend. I write fiction novels in my spare time and hike waterfalls.

Life experience and hobbies are in pretty good shape.

Yet, I almost never communicate these when socializing.

They're not needed and if anything, they can be burdensome.

It boils down to the energy exchange between me and the others.

I keep it upbeat and positive. I don't let it veer off in negative territories.

Read Dale Carnegie's classic "How to Win Friends and Influence People". I read it when I was 14 and socially clueless with little to no life experience. It worked wonders.

 

[empath]

Just to expand. I find it almost impossible to provide conversational value/relate to girls my age. A lot of them have traveled to different countries and done way more interesting things. Seems almost impossible rn.

You don't need to travel yourself exactly to relate.

I picked up a chick who is heavy into rave scene.

While, I am not.

Though I wish to be.

Similarly, travlled world as a child.

I want to do same but have not.

But well those were her resources, not everyone is born with those same resources.

So, in a sense I was lacking life experience.

But I did not let it be focus point of the conversation.

You can talk about what is going around the room.

Her childhood, your childhood.

Heck even something boring but acting sexy, through non-verbals.

All, girls I have met, they are interested in my life to know enough, that I am same not a serial killer or kidnapper.

Rest they will be yapping about themselves.


Now, still I feel life experiences are important because they grow you as a person.

So, do have them but don't treat not having them as an insecurity.

Per se from POV seduction, they are not very important, you can always bullshit

 

[Will_V]

So for context if someone wanted to go from completely socially hopeless to mastering social skills at a later age what would one need to do in order to accomplish that goal. Currently I am 26 a virgin living with my parents working a shitty minimum wage job and have absolutely no life experience whatsoever girls basically ignore me and I don’t really have any friends outside of a couple childhood buddies. I’ve always been quiet and reserved and not really that social. If I wanted to go from complete beginner to mastery how could I go about that.

Yes, you need life experience. You're 26, how are you going to relate to people your age without life experiences of your own? How are you going to be able to show people that you're proud of yourself and what you've done so far?

Brother it's time to leave the nest, strike out on your own and find out what you're made of!

Perhaps theoretically life experience isn't strictly necessary for social skills, but it's sure as hell helpful. Facing challenges on your own, being resourceful, accomplishing things by yourself, these things give you a solidity and self-assuredness that nothing else will, and other people know when they are in the presence of that.

More than anything else, life experience gives you an internal fortitude and a presence that other people perceive when they look in your eyes. And it's respected by men and women, because it can't be faked or stolen, it has to be earned.

 

[average_daygamer]

I was in the same position at 26. Working part time because there were no full time jobs about, living at my mom's in a tiny town full of old people and the only girls you did see turned out to be underaged.(now I live in my own place but paid for by housing benefit).

But now I am 35 and have still not gotten laid, despite trying very hard. So yes, I do believe life experience is necessary.

However, back then I thought you had to deliberately "date" which I said I wasn't going to do until

1. I got a full time job

and

2. I had my own place

At 27 I got a full time job, so I thought "fuck it, I'll let myself slide on condition 2, since it's still a long way off and I had to pay my mom money anyway to live at home.

So I got on tinder and plenty of fish, with some old photos my mom had taken, and a selfie of me at work, looking somewhat lost.

And then when I tried to talk to girls on there, it was weird, because I had never spoken to one Irl so I had no idea what to say, didn't get any matches and deleted the apps.

That was before I found out about the extreme sport known as cold approach DAYGAME.

I love daygame because you are building skills and social audacity which you can use in other areas of life, compared to swiping on a screen which you don't get anything from.

 

[OldGuy]

Life experience is necessary, but in interactions with people. If you have been to many countries just following a guide or worse a guidebook, it won't do you much good. This is why daygame is so good, use the advice on this site to ease the process.

 

[West_Indian_Archie]

So for context if someone wanted to go from completely socially hopeless to mastering social skills at a later age what would one need to do in order to accomplish that goal. Currently I am 26 a virgin living with my parents working a shitty minimum wage job and have absolutely no life experience whatsoever girls basically ignore me and I don’t really have any friends outside of a couple childhood buddies. I’ve always been quiet and reserved and not really that social. If I wanted to go from complete beginner to mastery how could I go about that.

As a matter of technique, minimum wage job, living at home, and not having any life experience means nothing when it comes to talking girls into bed.

Not to get all Julien Blanc, but "you are enough"

Most conversations with chicks are not full exchanges of hopes and dreams and life goals. It's a couple of jokes, some flirting, and getting some privacy when she can't get enough of you.

There are plenty, and I mean plenty, of guys who have "nothing going for them" and talk their way into sleeping with chicks and staying with the chick. Hobosexuals.

Your problem is that you want more for your life.

If you didn't care about your life situation, the only thing you need to do is talk to more girls and get used to the flow of chatting up girls.

You don't need to have traveled or done really cool stuff. Chicks hookup with us off of VIBES. If a chick really digs you, she can help you get to where you want to be.

Example Ryan Cooglers girlfriend bought him his first script writing software. He had nothing.

All that said,

I'll tell you right now, bagging chicks won't fix how you feel about the rest of your life. That's been the story of many a pickup artist. Women out the wazoo and still empty on the inside. Rich guys also get this feeling too. The money doesn't address the inner needs.

You're not happy with your life as it is. Chicks DGAF about that stuff, unless you do.

With that in mind, 100% of your time should be focused on making your situation better to where you think it should be. You don't need the Ferrari tomorrow, but maybe you figure out how to get some new shoelaces.

There are young guys working at a Subway and putting their day to day sandwich making on Tik Tok and getting all types of popularity and offers, as well as learning background skills about video editing, marketing and promotion.

At 26, you have a lot of life. And a lot of options.

 

[Velasco]

Get a job working with cool extroverted kids your age or younger. And then copy the way they talk (slang). Listen to the artist’s music they like. Follow the people they talk about on social media. Watch the sports they talk about. Then hang out with them outside of work. Do this for a couple months and then talk to girls. They’ll think you’re one of them. Otherwise know as faking it til you make it

 

[Marley]

Get a job working with cool extroverted kids your age or younger. And then copy the way they talk (slang). Listen to the artist’s music they like. Follow the people they talk about on social media. Watch the sports they talk about. Then hang out with them outside of work. Do this for a couple months and then talk to girls. They’ll think you’re one of them. Otherwise know as faking it til you make it

The job I currently have is like that. I work at a high end gym. All the guys there are super cool party types. But I feel like I’ve already kinda fucked up a bit while working there. Like I don’t feel like I fully fit in. I’ve only been at the job 3 weeks but I don’t feel like I fully integrated. I can’t seem to hold conversation with any of the guys or girls about what they like to talk about. I’m always in my head.