Is Push-Pull/Disqualifying The Girl, Absolutely Necessary? I Don't Enjoy It At All

TheDapperHippie

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I understand that push-pull (disqualifying/teasing) is for the purpose of getting the girl to chase. My main, very experienced wing has said that you don't need to do push-pull or any specific techniques to get a girl so as long as you have solid/unbreakable inner game. However you're only going to get a girl of a certain level based off of not using certain techniques (i.e. push-pull), because girls always want a man that's of a higher value than they are.

Everytime I implement push/pull I'll say a line like "You're pretty cute & I'm digging this interaction but I'm still figuring you out." Or I'll say "Who are you? You're definitely really cute/attractive but I'm not too sure about you yet." None of these things feel natural at all. I sometimes say shit like "You know, when you smile or laugh, your nose wiggles." & I'll say it in a very flirty manner. I don't mind saying that line cuz I genuinely enjoy trolling people & busting people's chops (it's my sense of humor).

I'm a naturally affectionate dude in general (especially with girls who're my type). My wing has said that's not a good thing & to stop it. It's hard for me to do so since I'm so used to it for one & secondarily, I just don't get enough volume in my city outside of nightgame, so whenever I'm on a date with or hooking a girl that's my type it's hard for me to not get really excited. That said, I wanna take action & see results despite living in a not-so-ideal city for game (it's a sprawling sub-urban city where you gotta commute everywhere & there's little to no foot traffic, which is what is needed for consistent daygame).

Do you absolutely need to "disqualify" the girl (push-pull) in order to succeed? I've read of some guys not utilizing disqualification & still succeeding. I would rather not do push-pull/disqualify the girl at all, it's not fun for me. Could it be that since I'm in such a deep scarcity, cuz my city isn't ideal for game, that I have trouble implementing it?
 

Velasco

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I don't mind saying that line cuz I genuinely enjoy trolling people & busting people's chops (it's my sense of humor).
if you genuinely enjoy trolling people (and I do as well), then simply disqualify girls in a trollish manner.

It's more understanding the concept VS looking at "ur cute but I'm not too sure about u"and saying this doesn't feel natural to me.
saying or doing anything that might indicate you're not trying to fuck her (pushing her off, kiss denial, walking away, unavailable for a sexual encounter (revealing (jokingly) that you're married/gay), making a false impression/negative cold read of her based on whatever she says, or simply not escalating at any signs of interest from her
Couple of trollish disqualifying lines I use:
- u ask a girl how old she is. she tells you she's 23. you say, "really? damn. i think I might be a little bit too old for u" (meanwhile ur 24).
- She takes a instagram live video and wants to includes you in her video, you start acting evasive, putting ur hand to hide your face and be like, "hey hey whoa no my wife might see this." To get "u have a wife?" (Which to ME is funny).

Its really about finding what disqualifying (disqualifying yourself or her) lines makes you laugh tbh.
 
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TheDapperHippie

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Your wing is a tool, ignore him, blind leading the blind.... Focus on more push pull none verbally, if you are a trollish personality like me, sexualize the trolling (extremely effective)... if that type of game you like, follow some of my stuff... start here: http://www.theskillsmethod.com/coll...hat-i-use-constantly-to-attract-women-part-1/

Thanks for your reply & the article you posted. I'll read more into that article, I liked some of the routines/lines I saw.

Regarding my wing, he's intermediate at seduction (10 years), with 30+ laycount. So he definitely is more experienced than I am. The context of my wing's remarks were in reference to this PUA I had a dialogue with on reddit who said he's never used any of the typical PUA routines like push-pull/disqualifying, etc. cuz "he doesn't like playing games" & he's not a "thrill of the hunt" type of guy (he has evidence for this successes on his site).

So my thinking was, if this reddit PUA is not using push/pull or any of these specific techniques then perhaps they're not necessary at all then? Like I know I'm inexperienced (only 8 lays in total, 3 non-serious girlfriends), but why use certain techniques & strategies if they're not necessary & I don't have the desire to (or feel comfortable) using them in the field?
 

West_Indian_Archie

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So my thinking was, if this reddit PUA is not using push/pull or any of these specific techniques then perhaps they're not necessary at all then? Like I know I'm inexperienced (only 8 lays in total, 3 non-serious girlfriends), but why use certain techniques & strategies if they're not necessary & I don't have the desire to (or feel comfortable) using them in the field?

Push/Pull is absolutely not necessary.
Disqualifying yourself, disqualifying the girl, breaking rapport, teasing, negs, "breaking her balls" - none of that is necessary. You don't need to joke, you don't need banter, you don't need to shock, you can send short texts and long texts. You can smother a girl with affection and compliments. You can not break the touch barrier until the end. You don't have to drink. You can drink. You don't have to dance. You can dance. You can spend money, you can be cheap and stingy. You can tell bawdy jokes and interesting stories, or you can vomit your emotions on her.

Girls like musicians, poets, bad boys, athletes, cute guys, tall guys, fat guys that are funny, weird artistic guys, etc. There are infinite ways of getting her attention and pulling her into your life.

The only thing most guys HAVE to do is initiate the sequence.

Many guys try to build themselves up (looks, money, status, power, etc) and have girls do the initiation - but at low levels, the guy is attracting girls that he doesn't like, he never gets to celebrity status, and even at that level he's often not attracting the type of girl he really wants (he has the girl's problem, where she can't go get what she wants, she can only choose from what is offered to her)

The guy can't be passive, He must be active. Guys that passively get girls they really want don't follow PUA. They see no need.

But in this context - of cold approaching girls, "solid inner game" is meaningless, especially to a rookie. It doesn't tell you what to do, what to say, what to communicate nonverbally, or via subtext.

Overall, with any system, the man shows the girl "value". She likes the value. The man moves to take the value away, and maybe, or maybe not she chases him for said value. She typically "enjoys" the chase. And by enjoy, it's a change from her moment to moment existence, and girls tend to like things that get their emotions good (good and bad, hence why they like movies and guys that make them cry)

Assuming that you don't do the teasing/push pull/qualification/disqualification, what exact practices will you use in their stead?

Because, "solid inner game" means nothing. Solid inner game is just belief in self.

You still have to walk over, get the girl's attention, break the ice, and cause the girl to WANT to talk to you. And then after she enjoys the interaction, she has to want YOU.

Just "being yourself" around girls has gotten you to where you are today.

If that's working, why are you looking down this path?

WIA
 

Velasco

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The context of my wing's remarks were in reference to this PUA I had a dialogue with on reddit who said he's never used any of the typical PUA routines like push-pull/disqualifying, etc. cuz "he doesn't like playing games"
Ask him what does he do, when she complies (does what he asks her to do)/shows interest? Shows interest in return, right? Aka Pull.

And what does he do when she doesn't comply (doesn't do what he asks her to do)/shit tests him? Shows disinterest, right? Aka Push.

And if he says he doesnt always show interest in her, after she shows interest in him, maybe tells her to chillax, pushes her off him, ignores her, to make her chase him further then that means he disqualifies girls.
 
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Skills

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Thanks for your reply & the article you posted. I'll read more into that article, I liked some of the routines/lines I saw.

Regarding my wing, he's intermediate at seduction (10 years), with 30+ laycount. So he definitely is more experienced than I am. The context of my wing's remarks were in reference to this PUA I had a dialogue with on reddit who said he's never used any of the typical PUA routines like push-pull/disqualifying, etc. cuz "he doesn't like playing games" & he's not a "thrill of the hunt" type of guy (he has evidence for this successes on his site).

So my thinking was, if this reddit PUA is not using push/pull or any of these specific techniques then perhaps they're not necessary at all then? Like I know I'm inexperienced (only 8 lays in total, 3 non-serious girlfriends), but why use certain techniques & strategies if they're not necessary & I don't have the desire to (or feel comfortable) using them in the field?


Yeah push pull is not needed, disqualification can work well in some scenarios, i don't know if you are missrepresenting the context of what he is saying, what i was trying to tell you about your wing, is that if you enjoy fucking around, and you like it do it, cause you enjoy it, not as a technique... but it has a timing to do it, and there is a timing not to do it as well...

i personally don't use push pull other than escalation none verbal in the sense of 2 steps forward one step back to give her space...

i fuck around a bit with push pull for my own fun at times, when they say i miss you or love you? i say i wish i could say the same things, but the context is joking...

but he is right is not really needed for seduction...
 

TheDapperHippie

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Push/Pull is absolutely not necessary.
Disqualifying yourself, disqualifying the girl, breaking rapport, teasing, negs, "breaking her balls" - none of that is necessary. You don't need to joke, you don't need banter, you don't need to shock, you can send short texts and long texts. You can smother a girl with affection and compliments. You can not break the touch barrier until the end. You don't have to drink. You can drink. You don't have to dance. You can dance. You can spend money, you can be cheap and stingy. You can tell bawdy jokes and interesting stories, or you can vomit your emotions on her.

Girls like musicians, poets, bad boys, athletes, cute guys, tall guys, fat guys that are funny, weird artistic guys, etc. There are infinite ways of getting her attention and pulling her into your life.

The only thing most guys HAVE to do is initiate the sequence.

Many guys try to build themselves up (looks, money, status, power, etc) and have girls do the initiation - but at low levels, the guy is attracting girls that he doesn't like, he never gets to celebrity status, and even at that level he's often not attracting the type of girl he really wants (he has the girl's problem, where she can't go get what she wants, she can only choose from what is offered to her)

The guy can't be passive, He must be active. Guys that passively get girls they really want don't follow PUA. They see no need.

But in this context - of cold approaching girls, "solid inner game" is meaningless, especially to a rookie. It doesn't tell you what to do, what to say, what to communicate nonverbally, or via subtext.

Overall, with any system, the man shows the girl "value". She likes the value. The man moves to take the value away, and maybe, or maybe not she chases him for said value. She typically "enjoys" the chase. And by enjoy, it's a change from her moment to moment existence, and girls tend to like things that get their emotions good (good and bad, hence why they like movies and guys that make them cry)

Assuming that you don't do the teasing/push pull/qualification/disqualification, what exact practices will you use in their stead?

Because, "solid inner game" means nothing. Solid inner game is just belief in self.

You still have to walk over, get the girl's attention, break the ice, and cause the girl to WANT to talk to you. And then after she enjoys the interaction, she has to want YOU.

Just "being yourself" around girls has gotten you to where you are today.

If that's working, why are you looking down this path?

WIA

Thanks for your reply man, really appreciate it.

To be honest with you, I think the core reason why I hate disqualifying the girl is cuz I have a fear that she won't wanna continue talking to me. Like she's gonna lose interest if I pull away/disqualify her or myself. I honestly always feel like I'm always in scarcity with women. I live in Orlando, FL & it's not bad but you'll only ever encounter an abundance of women during nightgame. Practically no true cold approach daygame opportunities here (cuz it's a sprawling suburb). That said, I'm making the best of it.

Do you think since I feel that way, then I'm gonna have a hard time getting the girl to chase? Cuz that's what disqualification entails really (getting her to chase) & like you said, the girl has to want talk to you & want to interact with you after the initial approach.

Do you have any suggestions then for light qualification techniques? Cuz I really hate disqualifying the girl/push-pull. Whenever I encounter girls who're my type 100%, I just wanna shower them with affection & show them a really good time (I know Papi/Hector has said that he's an affectionate guy & showing affection has worked for him) but that contradicts disqualifying the girl you know?
 

TheDapperHippie

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if you genuinely enjoy trolling people (and I do as well), then simply disqualify girls in a trollish manner.

It's more understanding the concept VS looking at "ur cute but I'm not too sure about u"and saying this doesn't feel natural to me.

Couple of trollish disqualifying lines I use:
- u ask a girl how old she is. she tells you she's 23. you say, "really? damn. i think I might be a little bit too old for u" (meanwhile ur 24).
- She takes a instagram live video and wants to includes you in her video, you start acting evasive, putting ur hand to hide your face and be like, "hey hey whoa no my wife might see this." To get "u have a wife?" (Which to ME is funny).

Its really about finding what disqualifying (disqualifying yourself or her) lines makes you laugh tbh.

Thanks for this. I saw a post from you a few months ago about if not having a huge/vibrant social life is needed to become proficient at seduction & I resonated a lot with what you said in that post cuz I'm an introvert too.

Anyway thanks for this. I'll ask that reddit pua if he does those things when a girl does or doesn't comply (like you said in your other post in this thread).
 

TheDapperHippie

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Messages
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Yeah push pull is not needed, disqualification can work well in some scenarios, i don't know if you are missrepresenting the context of what he is saying, what i was trying to tell you about your wing, is that if you enjoy fucking around, and you like it do it, cause you enjoy it, not as a technique... but it has a timing to do it, and there is a timing not to do it as well...

i personally don't use push pull other than escalation none verbal in the sense of 2 steps forward one step back to give her space...

i fuck around a bit with push pull for my own fun at times, when they say i miss you or love you? i say i wish i could say the same things, but the context is joking...

but he is right is not really needed for seduction...

Thanks for your reply. I saw the link for your collection of banter lines & routines. Will be going through them.
 

uriel

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Oct 21, 2019
Messages
352
Push/pull is a technique. It is a tool.
Wether you need to use it depends on the situation and your strategy.

No particular technique is obligatory.

When to use this one? When you are coming across as agreeable or too nice and need to increase the attraction/reduce your attainability.

If you are constantly trolling people, chances are you’re not coming across as too nice so you should focus on other stuff.
 

Chase

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@TheDapperHippie,

No one technique is absolutely 100% mandatory. Generally speaking, you can always find some guy who does well without using X individual technique.

However, some form of push/pull is endemic to almost every style of game I have seen. Even the most basic form of flirtation adolescents do the moment they hit puberty usually employs it: "You're cute, but I don't know if you're my type!"

So it is one of those things you want to be real careful before dismissing out of hand.

And this:

To be honest with you, I think the core reason why I hate disqualifying the girl is cuz I have a fear that she won't wanna continue talking to me. Like she's gonna lose interest if I pull away/disqualify her or myself.

... is about the clearest sign you're going to get that you ought to be using this tactic.

You ought to be being more of an asshole in general:


Not because that's the end goal. But because you need to push the limits on what you can get away with and confront that fear of scaring people/women off if you want to be able to operate with finesse and without that fear.

Imagine this: you've got a date lined up for four nights this week. And on Saturday you have a date in the afternoon and another in the evening. If things go well on the first you'll have to flake on the second. You have an active social life, with more party invites than you can accept. And a group of cool buddies. You're on a good run right now, sleeping with a new girl every 3-4 days. It's not usually this hot, but it's been steady like this for about 5 weeks now that you've been real active.

You meet a girl. She's pretty. But not any prettier than the girl you slept with two nights ago, or the ones you've got dates lined up with this week.

Now imagine how you'd interact with her.

The way you'd interact with a woman in that circumstance (where you are living in an abundance of women) is the way you want to interact with women always.

You may be screening women for their looks, physiques, age, body weight, etc.

They are screening you for your behavior.

Specifically, they are screening to find out if you behave like a man that women are attracted to, pursue, sleep with, and try to hang onto in a relationship, or if you're not.

Right now you are behaving like you're not.

You should be behaving like you are.

I live in Orlando, FL & it's not bad but you'll only ever encounter an abundance of women during nightgame. Practically no true cold approach daygame opportunities here (cuz it's a sprawling suburb). That said, I'm making the best of it.

It sounds like you should be doing nightlife then.

Even if it's only great on the weekends, you can probably carve out a decent nightlife regimen other days of the week.

e.g., salsa Tuesdays, ladies' night Wednesdays, thirsty Thursdays... figure out which venues are holding weekly events in your area and draw crowds. The venues with halfway savvy marketers will usually be competing to figure out ways to draw crowds on the off-nights. Some of them generally will succeed. When I'm in a new town and I want to learn the nightlife, if I can't find anyone to show me the ropes, I will just hit up different venues on different nights until I stumble upon the ones that are good on any given night.

As for day game, looks like a few suggestions here:


From the article:

====

We mentioned how the UCF campus doesn’t have a ton of nightlife for singles right by it, well it is still a massive university with well over fifty thousand students in attendance. Parks, cafes, and streets in that area can be great for day game.

Or you can always visit the old reliable when trying to meet girls in Orlando during the day, by that we mean shopping malls like:

  • The Florida Mall
  • The Mall at Millenia
  • Lake Buena Vista Factory Stores
  • Orlando International Premium Outlets
  • Orlando Vineland Premium Outlets
====

Do you think since I feel that way, then I'm gonna have a hard time getting the girl to chase? Cuz that's what disqualification entails really (getting her to chase) & like you said, the girl has to want talk to you & want to interact with you after the initial approach.

Women chase when they feel uncertainty.

Last night I had a drunk girl I met in a pizza parlor chasing/propositioning me without using any kind of active disqualification on her at all. I wasn't interested (if you saw her, you likely wouldn't have been either), however, and that came across in my nonverbals, like what @West_Indian_Archie is talking about. Because it came across that way, and she wanted me, she had no choice but to chase.

I'll do that with girls I'm actually into too. No verbal disqualification, but you disqualify them nonverbally, by showing signs of disinterest, and it drives them nuts and they chase you and feel like they have to conquer you.

The thing for you is... are you at a point where you can do that?

If you feel needy, it is going to come across in your nonverbals.

You need to work on having less needy nonverbals, while also toying around with push/pull.

Do you have any suggestions then for light qualification techniques? Cuz I really hate disqualifying the girl/push-pull. Whenever I encounter girls who're my type 100%, I just wanna shower them with affection & show them a really good time (I know Papi/Hector has said that he's an affectionate guy & showing affection has worked for him) but that contradicts disqualifying the girl you know?

Why don't you try some very light, classic-style push/pull?

Try this with 20 girls:

"Oh my God, you're a [SOMETHING] girl, aren't you? We would never get along! We'd always be fighting!"

For instance:

  • "Oh my God, you're a neat freak, aren't you? We can never date, because you'd always be yelling at me to pick up my socks."

  • "Oh my God, you're obsessed with animals, aren't you? It would never work between us. I'd be grilling steaks and you'd be there trying to save them."

  • "Oh my God, you're an outdoors type? We could never date. Every weekend I'd be trying to sleep in after a long week of working, and you'd be setting the alarm for sunup and jumping around the room yelling at me to get up and hit the trail."
Try this with 20 girls, then see how you feel about it once you're done.

I guarantee you are going to have some really fun interactions come on the heels of a quick little bit like this.

And once you do, you'll have seen how using a little disqualification on even a really hot girl suddenly gets girls you were afraid might run off to be a lot more interested in you (and even qualifying themselves to you) than they were before you did it.

You can do it.

It feels weird now because you're not used to it.

Once you start using it, and you get some really warm, positive receptions from it, the way you feel about it is going to shift.

Chase
 
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