Jay's Journal. 35 and a fresh start.

[jaythedon]

I'm 35, Asian, living in the states currently. I've traveled a lot and have some experiences in dating, but not as much as I would like. I hope to fix that in the next 2 years or so going out and learning as much as I can.

I'm on a journey to fix my fitness, finances, dating life, and social life as I don't have much going for myself right now.

Thanks for everyone's support as I start on this new journey hoping to achieve great results in the next 2 years

 

[jaythedon]

After posting this, I started working out again and just signed up for a free judo class. As I approach girls out there, I want to be prepared for any type of physical conflict. I do have some experience in boxing but I want to know how to handle bigger guys as they are more likely to try and test me out there me being only 5'10.

Workouts are mostly consisting of incline bench, wide pull ups, overhead press, squats, and deadlifts as well as arms and other workouts to widen my shoulders as much as possible.

Currently weight 180lbs - probably around 25% or more body fat.

Starting to look for places to go out around the area to approach as I'm new to the area.

 

[AspiringStoic]

After posting this, I started working out again and just signed up for a free judo class. As I approach girls out there, I want to be prepared for any type of physical conflict. I do have some experience in boxing but I want to know how to handle bigger guys as they are more likely to try and test me out there me being only 5'10.

Workouts are mostly consisting of incline bench, wide pull ups, overhead press, squats, and deadlifts as well as arms and other workouts to widen my shoulders as much as possible.

Currently weight 180lbs - probably around 25% or more body fat.

Starting to look for places to go out around the area to approach as I'm new to the area.

You are joking right?

Approaching girls does not = fighting guys.

What fucked up thing are you planning on doing that is going to make guys want to "test" you.

Are you talking about AMOGing?

 

[jaythedon]

Went to my first Judo as planned. Very eventful. Couple of cuties including the instructor who were all friendly but keeping it professional.

I'll also be starting a new job soon. I tend to follow the motto 'dont shit where you eat' so probably won't pursue anything. But I wonder if there were girls who were my work bosses, how I would go about seducing someone above me in the food chain. Good things to start thinking about.

Other than that, getting situated in my new city very nicely so far, will be starting to cold approach soon once I get my housing situation dialed in.

 

[jaythedon]

FR// Meeting a waitress abroad but she brings a friend.

This happened a bit back while I was vacationing before moving here.

I visited my cousin in Europe and I ended up traveling to Spain just to take a mini vacation for myself. While traveling, I stopped by a restaurant by myself to eat. The restaurant was empty except me and this cute waitress.

We start talking and after a few pleasantries, we start talking as she brings out the food. It's mostly just her asking me what I''m doing in Spain, and we get to know each other. Turns out shes around 20, but owns her own clothing line, shows me her instagram, etc.

I compliment her and I also tell her I collect vintage clothing, etc And we start talking bout fashion a bit.
I try to foreshadow going vintage shopping in Spain. She agrees but also a bit hesitant.

As I keep eating, she gets new customers so she serves them and as I'm finishing up my food, I end up getting her contact number and say we should meet up.

She tells me she's on her period so want to give it a week (Idk) but says would love to.

As I leave, I text her

Me: Nice meeting you Thanks for the company
Her: You too! Hope you have fun in Spain!

At this point I see it as her brushing me off and I left it at that. As I continue my trip, I see that she's watching all my ig stories and 'liking' em here and there.

So a few days later, I respond to one of her stories, and end up telling her we should get some food together.

Her: I wouldn't mind but would it be okay if I bring my friend?
Me: Sure! I would love to.

At this point, there's two things going through my head. One, she's unsure of me. Two, her friend wants to vet me.
I learn that she has a boyfriend, but still coming out to see me. I'm not really experienced in this, so I just go ahead with it to build referential points.

On the day of the meet up, we agree to meet at a nearby starbucks. She calls me via her IG, and we meet.

Right away, the friend takes charge and introduces herself, and the whole time we're hanging out, her friend is doing all the talking while the girl I want is a bit in the back ground not talking much but observing.

As we're getting coffee, food, and go around the streets her friend is asking me questions like where I'm from, and basically my life story.

After awhile, I start getting annoyed with the friend cause I can tell she's 'filtering me' for her friend.

While we're at a coffee shop, I go upstairs to take a leak and comeback down while they're ordering. Her friend comments
"Oh I thought we lost you! You just left without telling us where you're going".

And as we sit at a Starbucks table, I take a seat, her friend takes a seat to my right, and the girl takes a seat to her friend's right.

During this time she's asking questions like "How was the adjustment coming over to America? Was it hard learning English?"
And I tell her English wasn't that hard to learn, it was more of the cultural adjustment that was harder. She tells me a few stories about her, and how her and the girl met etc. How they're best friends, and grew up together.

Towards the end, it started getting awkward cause I think she could tell I was getting a bit annoyed with her friend.

I tried to talk to the girl, but her friend would find a way to kind of cut into the conversation to try to take over.

Anyways, in the end we part ways. Before I part way I hug her friend, and try to set up a one on one with the girl

"Do you wanna get some drinks sometime?" - to the girl
Her friend barges in "She's okay! but it was great to meet you!"

And I'm kind of like wtf, and just say our byes and leave.

The girl keeps watching my ig stories as I continue traveling throughout the Spain and so decided to text her one more time as a hail marry before I left a few days later, but never got a response.

I knew it wasn't gonna work but thought I'd give it a try anyway.

Anyway, there's a fail FR that happened not too long ago.

If anyone has any pointers on how to handle such situations, let me know!

 

[OldGuy]

If the friend is OK, suggest a three-some. Your girl may shut friend down or may go along.

 

[jaythedon]

FR: This is in my mma gym. I'm trying all types of combat sports including muay thai. It was a small class. Me, my coach, and this cute girl who was visiting for a few weeks (which I didn't know).

I saw her the first class and just kept it friendly but professional. As time went on, we started flirting more and more.

We would start sparring. I have some boxing experience so of course I went easy but make it fun. Everytime she would hit me on my shoulder during sparring, I would just fall to the ground dramatically and a friend of mine would start doing CPR. I was just being playful and having fun.

It was a bit weird because I could tell the coach also took a liking to her. He would "take her to teach her how to spar" when theres about 5-6 of us in class. Obviously, you get the idea.

One day we're stretching, she points at a bruise in my thigh and say "omg what happened?" and I said "it's because of you!" and she would smack me in the shoulder and laugh. And as she slapped my shoulder, she would touch it and squeeze my muscles and I would playfully swat her hand away saying "focus!".

One night after class, we were walking. This is where I made a mistake. As we were walking, she started walking with me. I didn't know where we were walking, but she was asking me questions about me and etc. That night, I had plans to meet up with a friend of mine with dinner. So halfway through walking home, I told her I have to grab an Uber and that I'll see her next class.

She seemed a bit disappointed and I wanna slap myself for this cause this was a clear open window. I should've invited her with me after asking her what she was doing and lead it from there.

I missed the next class but when I came back the week after, I found out she went back home to her country cause she was only here briefly.

Lesson: When the opportunity presents itself, don't push it back. Take it.

 

[jaythedon]

Btw, if anyone is older (esp 40+) I've been reading this book. It's a book about a lawyer who started cold approaching in London around 45 years of age and found success. He trained under Tom Torero (RIP). It's been helping me alot about my beliefs around age and being older.

Amazon.com: Too Late, Mate?: A Daygame Memoir (Audible Audio Edition): Alex Forrest, Charli Janeway, Alex Forrest: Audible Books & Originals

Amazon.com: Too Late, Mate?: A Daygame Memoir (Audible Audio Edition): Alex Forrest, Charli Janeway, Alex Forrest: Audible Books & Originals

www.amazon.com

 

[jaythedon]

Approaching a blonde girl in a mall:

Me: Hey excuse me!
Her: Yes?
Me: I know this is random, but I just wanted to come tell you that I thought you were cute.
Her: Oh, thank you!
Me: I'm J
Her: I'm X.
Me: So what do you do?
Her: Oh I do a bit of everything. Modeling, actinng, etc...
Me: Oh that's awesome.

And then Idk what to say.

There's a bit of awkward silence and she says well thanks for the compliment and moves on.
I had a few more approaches very similar, I'm a bit all over the place.

I'm studying what to say after the initial phases and working on that part and coming up with a structure. I'm reading the book above too late to mate, and it follows making assumptions/statements about a girl based on her ethniticity/jobs/fashion so I will be doing that.

I also need to read some books and get some knowledge in general to have interesting topics to talk about w/ girls. If you have any recommendations for books to read for adding to convo, im all ears.


Other areas: My fitness is really coming in great. I've been working out on and off 2 months but starting to see good results.

Worked myself up to incline benching/deadlifts/barbell rows for 135lbs x10reps x 5-6 sets.
Wide assisted pull ups w/ 85lbs - x 100 reps.

Starting to see a nice arms/shoulder/lat improvement and def helping with my body language.

 

[jaythedon]

Note to self:// develop an edge bacl

 

[jaythedon]

LR: Two girl set.

I went out to a local bar with 3-4 buddies who are also aware of pickup.

This bar has 2 bars. One to the left and one to the right. We were all on the right side and chatting until we see two girls come into the bar on the left and take seats near the bar.

One of my friends who is extremely good at this stuff spots them and two of our friends immediately go in.

My friend, let's call him L, who's the one that's really good tells me they're not doing to well based on the girls receptions and the guys body language. And as we are just shooting the shit, sure enough, one of the guys just comes back saying the girl wasn't interested.

My friend L tells me I should go, and I join the two girls. As I arrive, the other guy is dying and goes back to my friend group as well and at this point it's just me and the two girls.

I don't really remember what I was talking about as I was pretty tipsy at this point but as I'm talking to the two girls, the other girl is starting to look around. Let's call the girl I'm talking to A and the other girl B. A is interested in me, but I also need to keep B occupied.

Me: Hey B! I wanna introduce you to a friend of mine.
B: Sure!
Me: And I wave for L to come and L comes in.

At this point it's going really well. So well in fact that, within 4-5 minutes of me talking to my girl, L and his girl starts to make out.

A (my girl) starts to giggle and rolls her eyes. At this point I use this as an excuse to say we should go outside to get some fresh air and move her. (I really did need some fresh air)

We head out and sit at a table next to each other.

But I'm also not feeling good (too much alcohol) and A can tell that I'm not feeling good.

We were just getting to know each other like our travels (There's a lot of conversation between like what we do, getting to know each other etc. Find out she works at a bank and it was her friend's birthday few days ago, but I don't really remember every detail as I was drunk)

About 15 minutes later, my face is REALLY red. All that liquor is catching up.

A: Omg are you okay?
Me: Yeah I just drank too much
A: (Waves at a waiter) Excuse me, can you bring him some water?

At this point I kind of get the vibe that I can move her out of the bar.



Me: I'm a bit hungry, do you wanna go eat?
A: I can't! What about my friend?
Me: Your friend is w/ my friend. We can go eat and comeback later.
A: (Texts her friend)

This is where I start to get some obstacles.

Apparently, one of the girls that L is seeing happened to see him at the bar and basically some drama happened w/ L having to leave B. And now B, came outside to join us all pissed.

B: Hey! Where did your friend go?
Me: I don't know what happened?
B: He just left! He said he had to go and disappeared!

I call my friend L and he says he's gotta take care of some bs w/ his other girl and says he can't make it.

At this point, I'm kind of stuck here w/ my girl and B (who visibly wanted my friend L and now in a bad mood).
I decide to just take both of them to get some late night snacks at a nearby McDonalds and figure it out.

As we're walking, B keeps asking me where L is.
B: Hey! Where's L?
Me: I dont know!
A: (Giggling)

I don't know what they did but she really liked him.
So at this point I knew I had to do something.

I call up one of my buddies at the bar and tell him the situations. I basically tell him I need a backup wing.
Sure enough, he comes through while we' re eating at McDonalds.

So now my friend is trying to talk to B on the other side of the table, while A is sitting next to me.

As my friend tries to talk to B, B is UNINTERESTED. She keeps asking where L is and whos this guy.
While this is happening, A is feeding me fries and giggling at what's going on. We're kind of laughing at this comical situation as my friend is doing his best to talk to this girl while she keeps ignoring him and demand I bring back L.

While she's feeding me, my arms are around A's waist and my fingers are rubbing around her hips. But only very subtly. She doesn't stop it as we're just enjoying the netflix show going on in front of us (lol)

I know I need to seed a pull so as A is feeding me, I tell her that we should go have a nightcap at a bar nearby.

A: But you're not even feeling good! You wanna drink more?
Me: Yeah I'm sobering up
A: (Rolls her eyes) I'll talk to my friend about it. (Proceeds to feed me another fry)
Me: You look adorable when you roll your eyes at me.
A: (Giggles)
Me: (At this point I squeeze her butt while my right arm is around her waist really quick)
A: Hey!
Me: Oh sorry, I thought that was your leg (being cheeky smiling)
A: Mmhmm.

At this point my friend A, take her friend B back to the bathroom (to have a girl talk) And now it's me and my friend.

Me: What's up man? Hows it with your girl:?
Friend: Bro, she won't budge and keeps talking about I'm not L! god damn.
Me: (Tearing up laughing) Bro, I got you next time. But still try. I'm gonna bring A back home, just try to bring her with you too.
Friend: For sure.

When the girls comeback, B ordered an Uber to go back home while A(my girl) decides to stay.
And my friend tries to convince B to stay and come to an 'after party' with us but she firmly says no and leaves.

I tell my friend to just grab an Uber back home and sure enough me and A take a Uber back to my place.

We go into my room (I have roommates) and I bring some liquor/sodas back into my room. She's sitting on my bed.

I bring out the laptop and start showing her pictures of my travels. As I'm doing this, we're drinking and my hand is kind of rubbing the her lower back, and if I feel like she's gonna resist, i pull back based on her body language.

Now we're laying down and we're watching a show on the laptop while almost cuddling.

And I try to kiss her during a moment in the movie, and she moves her face away.

A: Hey! Why did you bring me here?
Me: to have a nightcap (while smiling cheekily)
A: Whatever. And I don't like that your room is dirty! Girls don't like it when a guy's room is dirty.

And as this is going on, she's resisting me in like an annoying way. All of the sudden she won't let me touch her, she won't let me hug her, and there's an invisible wall between us.

At this point, I just completely stop everything. I turn off the laptop. I leave the room to get water, and go sit on the sofa in the living room.

After texting on her phone she comes out.

A: what are you doing?
Me: Oh I just had some work to do.
A: ...

(Silence)
A: I wanna finish the movie.

Now, I know she's down. Whatever little game she was playing, she was done.

Me: Okay sure one second.

I act like i'm finishing up some work and go back into my bedroom to start some movie again.
And as the movie goes on, the lights are dimmed and I start nibbling at her neck just a little.

Anytime it looks like she tenses up, I back off. 2 step forward, 1 step back. Repeat. This takes a few tries but I can tell she's starting to get comfortable.

Soon, as I'm nibbling at her neck, at a high point in the movie, I start kissing her and she starts to kiss back.

My hands are soon going from rubbing her back/stomach to slowly going inside her pants.

She's fully drenched.

Long story short, as I start to kiss her neck again while fingering her slowly, she asks
"Do you have a condom?"

And we make love all night and wake up to have sex again.

I sent her home in an Uber and text her

Me: It was nice meeting you Hope you got home safe. See you soon?
A: Nice meeting you too. And yes please. Muah.

 

[jaythedon]

My mental health hasn't been the greatest lately for meeting girls.

A lot of my wealth was in crypto but it was basically wiped out after trusting a friend about a coin which went to 0. It was my fault. I was at 6 figures and should've got it out.

The job I was supposed to be hired by ended up backing out last second leaving me w/ no income.

At this point just surviving paying rent and cooking food. I'm not in the best of mental state as I feel like a failure in all areas.

I need to turn my life around and just had to vent a little.