Keep catching fiance lying about masturbating...

Nashtiger34

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Oct 23, 2019
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First post here, but have read many articles in years past. As the topic suggests, I keep catching my fiancé lying about masturbating....

In the past year, I have caught my fiancé (just got engaged a couple weeks ago) lying about masturbating and watching porn. First time - she asked me to look up a recipe on her phone, and as I was typing in the search bar a "recent website suggestion" came up for pornhub. She said she had been at home alone and was horny and had been masturbating about once a week for the last month or so... told her it wasn't a big deal but requested the next time she was horny to text me and I will be there in a hurry to satisfied her desires...

Second time - In an effort to make her feel more comfortable about masturbating, two months ago I bought her a vibrator for us to use and for her to use when I am traveling for work. We've used it together multiple times, and although she is very shy about it she loves it. In the last three weeks I have been out of town for work traveling for 2/3 weeks. While out of town I would text her flirty things and asked if she had been horny and wanting to use her toy. She would always say no, she's been busy and hasn't had time to feel horny. When I got back in town, I asked her again if she had used it. By her response, it was obvious she was lying (we've been together 5 years, I know when she lies lol). So I told her the vibrator I bought was connected to an app and that I knew she had been using it. So she gave me the oh shit look and admitted to using it multiple times.

Here's the issue, she has always claimed that she hates masturbating and it makes her feel uncomfortable and dirty... She never tells me when she is horny and I am always the one having to make the first move. I have tried many things to change her behavior, such as not making a move for 6 weeks and she still never came on to me, but nothing works. My question is this - Why does she continually lie to me about constantly about masturbating and why is she afraid to be comfortable doing it with me and telling me she did it.
 

Lover

Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Nashtiger34 said:
So I told her the vibrator I bought was connected to an app and that I knew she had been using it.
I understand it is a big deal to you, but can she trust you after you pulled this off? Stop monitoring her, let her be free and have her alone-time for herself. You're putting more pressure on her to be sexually free, but she can't like this

Nashtiger34 said:
she has always claimed that she hates masturbating and it makes her feel uncomfortable and dirty...
Here you answered your own question in the end of your post.
Next, you should figure out WHY it's making her uncomfortable and dirty because only she knows. Maybe past trauma, maybe social conditioning, maybe something else. Ask her without judgement. Make open-ended questions, questions like "have you ever thought about why you feel/think like this?", "why has that affected you in the way it has" etc. Don't rush to any conclusions for her, let her find them herself while you listen
 

Cody Lyans

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Mar 8, 2019
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Hey man, great to have you posting. Welcome to the board.
As for masturbation, it is normal people lie, especially girls. Don't take offense or try to control it. In fact do the opposite and encourage it whenever it comes up and act INDIFFERENT. Like "yeah sure we all do, and don't think on it much, cool don't need to feel shy I think it is sexy" keep it low key. Do not be like CALL ME INSTEAD, HIT ME UP C'MON.
You need to be the one who initiates, girls generally won't until you get close enough and warm her up with sweet nothings in her ear.
My advice PLAY WITH IT, don't treat it seriously, give her knowing looks and don't be afraid to take the lead and maaake her horny.
Control and indifference. Hit on her anyway like it does not matter to you.
Last thing she wants is u to stop hitting on her and having to do it herself cuz she masturbates. Let her be a girl. Indulge her need to be pursued
 

naturalmikey

Cro-Magnon Man
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Jun 9, 2019
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370
if i had a girlfriend that kept asking me about masturbating i'd lie to. you are poison dripping your relationship.
 
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