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Casual/FWB  Mltr that ended abruptly

Higher

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 17, 2022
Messages
340
Ill try to keep this as short as possible without leaving out any key plot element.

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Was in an MLTR with a hot, cute and sweet 31yo EE girl. Met her in daygame, first sex was public and pretty adventurous. No relationship talks. No daily calls nor texts. Saw her once per week (some weeks twice, which is not optimal, but i tried to keep the bf vibes to a minimum). Still gamed on the side.

We had good energy and lots and lots of sex. She respected me quite a bit, and always had a hunch i was non-mono. Six months in, she became convinced i was seeing another girl. I neither admitted nor denied it - i just refused to talk about this stuff. I made her come over at mine and had "The Talk", where i calmly told her i can give her emotional monogamy but not sexual monogamy. We had a bunch of sex afterwards.

Things were ok immediately thereafter. But shes the jealous type, so after a few weeks she started testing me with drama, the occasional flake, and refusing to come over to mine.

We saw each other a couple times in a nearby city after that. To pass the test, i should have led her somewhere public and fucked her there and then like i did the first time - sorta like a reminder that i can lead and take her anytime, anywhere.

However ive been soft and lazy. I persisted 3-4 times on separate occasions to have her come over to mine (cause pub sex is fun, but nothing beats the comfort of a bed), then i abruptly went no-contact after her last flake. This was a mistake - a biyc text would have been the graceful way to end things.

Anyhow, weve been radio-silent for almost 2 months now. Im treating my mild oneitis with daygame + another girl im seeing, i fully accept she might have moved on and i dont plan to pursue her.

Thing is, id still like to keep a channel open for her to potentially reach out way down the road should she so choose.

I realize she probably wont. And even if she did, wed probably have too much baggage to make any relationship sustainable.

But anyway without biyc, plus having a new whatsapp number now that she doesnt have, this is not even a possibility.

So im not sure whats the best way to go.

On one side, texting her my new number would break radio-silence and feel like chasing, so im not too thrilled about it.

On the other, feels bad to just leave things as they are, as she has no other way to reach out (no social media, no email, no common friends nor places), and if she tries my old number itll look like i blocked her.

My instinct says: let things be, accept that it ended sloppily, squeeze as much learning value from this as you can, and keep on gaming.

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Any thoughts from you gents? Perspectives? Things i can do better next time?
 

topcat

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
Joined
Dec 20, 2012
Messages
964
send a “you alive?” text via whatsapp so she has the number. the idea here isn’t to rekindle but just make sure she has your number. if a conversation comes out of that keep it pleasant, light and just checking in. then leave it alone.

let her reach out if she feels it. she may, she may not. she obviously wants a bf..
 
you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

alexlaguma

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Apr 20, 2024
Messages
159
I recently changed my number, and sent a "hey - new number, alex" text to about 50 old flames.

Its clearly a batch text so won't come across as chasing. Just means that they have your number if they ever do want to reach out again
 

Higher

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Jun 17, 2022
Messages
340
Thanks for the tips guys. Very simple and concise solution.

I recently changed my number, and sent a "hey - new number, alex" text to about 50 old flames.

Curious how old they were and how many replied?
 
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