More daygame thoughts

[assman93]

Prior to his untimely death in 2022, I remember watching a video of Tom Torero where he advised guys attending his seminar that day game was "weird". No, day game would never gain mainstream acceptance, so guys were best to simply "get on with it". This remains good advice, although I would add a slight caveat.

While sometimes day game is easy, there are also days when it does not give. Amidst the procession of strangers on the street or at the mall, you don't see any girls who excite you on a physical level. You inevitably end up feeling weird, because of course you are doing something weird.

At times like this, I would advise guys to recognize the sunk-cost fallacy they are actively participating in and go home. Yes, you maintained a hands-off policy all week in anticipation of the Saturday sarge, but if you have reasonably high standards sometimes even the best locations present few opportunities. Probably best to call it quits, stop the hemorrhaging of your time and remain on code yellow for opportunities that present themselves in your everyday life.

 

[Chase]

For avoiding a drubbing of your morale, this can be a fine thing to do, @assman93, I agree. Especially if it seems like things are unusually quiet, or slow, or the crowd is unusually unattractive for some reason.

The counterpoint: along with the sunk-cost fallacy, there is also the hot-hand fallacy (and its counterpoint, the cold-hand fallacy). The hot-hand fallacy is where someone has a string of successes in a row and attributes it to high skill or good luck. The cold-hand fallacy is where someone has a string of failures in a row and attributes it to poor skill or bad luck. Often though it is simply random chance, like flipping a coin 7 times and getting heads 7 times in a row.

I have had plenty of outings where it absolutely sucked for hours… there were no good-looking girls; every girl I talked to was cold to me; I started feeling like I’d somehow totally lost my mojo. Then I pushed on anyway, maybe changed venues, maybe changed neighborhoods, or maybe just stuck it out if I thought it was likely to get better, and at some point, even after I’d mentally checked out of the outing and chalked it up as a loss, but was still approaching anyway, I happened upon a very attractive girl and quick hit it off with her. Sometimes in scenarios like that I took her contact and laid her on a date later; other times I kept going the day I met her and laid her that day or night. I’ve seen plenty of other guys share lay reports to the same tune as well (things were going bad, few attractive girls, nothing but rejection… then after it seemed like the whole outing would be a waste, SUDDENLY they see and approach this girl they really like the looks of and end up taking home).

So, there’s sort of two paths here.

1. If your morale is low and you just can’t soldier on, maybe it is best to call it a day or night and head back and relax.
   
   
2. However, if you’re able to soldier on, perhaps switching up your area or strategy, often it is worth doing, because there is still that large chance element in game, and when you stay out and keep going, your luck surface area continues to grow, and sometimes (or even fairly often), eventually you will get a hit.

Chase

 

[assman93]

@Chase yeah, I somewhat agree. The concept of luck surface area is essentially probability theory. I have experienced similar scenarios. For example, last Christmas I had a day game session that dragged on for hours before I saw an angularly hot Italian girl. The set justified the wait, as not only was the girl precisely my physical type, she was also what we call a "yes" girl.

I guess one thing that might differentiate me from some of the users on here is I have a demanding job that limits the extent to which I can spend hours on end approaching strange women. Don't get me wrong, I try to commit a couple hours to day game on a weekly basis, and I'll try to stick it out if I have more time, but sometimes amidst competing demands on my time I'll cut my losses if I feel a day game session isn't going anywhere.

I would suggest rather than staking out time to sarge HBs guys are probably better served striving to be consistently ON (i.e., being in a somewhat good mood, maintaining a low simmering sex drive) so they can integrate cold approach more into their daily life. Soon enough, you will be going about your life, and will see a girl who gives you a look or has a preening dress style on transit or in the Starbucks line. Seizing these opportunities is a more optimal way to do cold approach, rather than holding out for hours to maybe see a hot girl and inevitably feeling like a bit of a social outsider through the process.

 

[HoofHearted]

However, if you’re able to soldier on, perhaps switching up your area or strategy, often it is worth doing, because there is still that large chance element in game, and when you stay out and keep going, your luck surface area continues to grow, and sometimes (or even fairly often), eventually you will get a hit.

This is such a great article. Everyone should read this.