your time, your attention, and ultimately, your dick
i'm gonna rant a little, and provide a few examples of text convos i've had which i could have turned into something more but didn't because, man, they just don't deserve it
1) okcupid: cute, blonde scottish chick. not my cup of tea but no doubt she has a legion of simps telling her how gorgeous she is
her: wow
me: ?
her:Your profile
her: made me laugh
this bitch is so entitled she thinks she can send me a one word message and then sit back and allow me to seduce her. jesus fucking christ. not only that, but it takes her THREE messages to convey to me that she thinks my profile is funny. and what's more, she can't even do that without some prompting from me. what a waste of time. if she can't string together five words into a sentence then why the fuck am i gonna make any effort for her? imagine, imagine, if you could send "wow" to every girl and then have them dropping their drawers
2) okcupid girl. has a giant cookie, with candy eyes, held up in front of her face. that's it. no other pics.
me: such beautiful eyes
her: (NINE MONTHS LATER) (3 smiley faces)
her: haha
her: thx (smiley face)
again, this girl takes 3 goddamn messages to say thanks for something from NINE MONTHS AGO. and doesn't even make sense. she's thanking me for what, exactly?
3. okcupid. possible hot american. blond. wearing a native-american headdress. holding a big mug in front of her face, which has a pic of a buddha. her screen name is maeABC (look her up, why not?)
me: your profile is like the beginning of a joke -
a buddha, a red indian and an american-born chinese walk into a bar .. (note the creativity in the opener. compare that with 'wow')
her: And and ....
her: Wait u think am ABC?
me: Well, now I think you're an ABCDummy
her: Ok here's what
U explain that dummy comment to me, cause duh am a "dummy"
Second WOW
dat profile ...dude
I took a moment to read it
gotta say was entertained and it's not easy entertaining me
me: Uhmm your screen name is ABC.
Thanks for compliments.. Your profile leaves a lot to the imagination. (i'm giving her a window of opportunity here, to give me something, as her profile is, of course, blank)
her: Nah am just lazy
And my name was too short for"ok stupid " to accept so
I added the ABC (she gives nothing, almost killed the conversation right there, and i almost decided to exit, but .. give her another chance)
me: i'm guessing your name's not mae, then. i will also guess that you are not, in fact an abc. and that there's beer in that mug?
how'm i doing - three out of three, right
her: i am not chinese
My name is mae
The mug will remain a mystery (again she gives very little)
me: that question mark is in the wrong place. it makes that sentence look odd. try to read it as a statement: there's beer in that mug.
i'm a stickler for correct grammar and spelling. yours is terrible, by the way
her: thx (the perfect response, maybe i was wrong about this girl)
me: ha that's the perfect response. made me laugh
ok i'll give you the benefit of the doubt re: the mug's contents. i'd love it to be gin and tonic
her: Bingo
her: Plot twist: it's empty (WTF?)
me: plot twist? this isn't an episode of sex and the city, young lady. it's supposed to be a conversation.
perhaps you are better at it face-to-face (i'm not beating around the bush now, she's had plenty of chances to contribute)
her: Nop
No hope there
as terrible as in here (this is my cue to exit)
next day .....
her: Wasn't it u who said keep the convo goin
What u waitin for??? (i ignore this, i'm done with this dippy bitch)
for several days following this she visits my profile every day. i can almost hear the wheels turning in her head.
4. girl i picked up in supermarket last year. didn't bang. have her on wechat. haven't communicated since around the time we met.
her: hi how are you these days
me:?
her: how are you? or you totally forgot who i am?
me: no i remember. you have the same picture. enjoying the spring time weather? (i'm giving her an in here)
her: (smiley face) (i refuse to communicate with emoji so i'm almost done here already)
her: how are you (jesus, she got nothin, this girl)
me: so you're bored on a sunday afternoon
her: (smiley face)
me: nothing to do but look through your contacts
her: don't be so sensitive
me: so you suddenly decided that you need to know how lao che is doing?
her: it's just we haven't talked for a while
me: exactly
her: so it's not bad to text you, right?
me: you're bored. you scrolled through your contacts looking for someone to entertain you for a few minutes
her: no i didn't scroll through all my contacts.
me: just up to the J K L
her: so you don't want to talk to me?
me: depends whether or not you have a point
her: just want to talk to an old friend (!)
me: we've already established that you're simply bored
her: if you don't want to talk to me it's fine
me: it's fine, either way. but don't pretend you contacted me because you're interested to know how i am
her: what can i do if you don't believe me?
me: you can either be honest. or have a point. something to say
her: i don't know what to say now.
me: exactly
now, for some people, 3 and 4 may seem particularly harsh. and no doubt i could have played them differently. but both of those girls are practically screaming "entertain me entertain me" without giving any reason at all for me to converse with them.
let's look at the alternatives for number 4
a) be nice, fall into her frame. "i'm fine thanks, yeah how you doing bla bla bla?" result, boring conversation which leads to no date or sex but does lead to another "hi how are you" 6 months down the line
b) ignore. this is the strongest option, i think. but sometimes you just wanna give people a piece of your mind, ya know? this girl was so boring the only thing she had was to ask how i was, and when i asked about her she could only give a smiley face. jesus christ.
i'm gonna rant a little, and provide a few examples of text convos i've had which i could have turned into something more but didn't because, man, they just don't deserve it
1) okcupid: cute, blonde scottish chick. not my cup of tea but no doubt she has a legion of simps telling her how gorgeous she is
her: wow
me: ?
her:Your profile
her: made me laugh
this bitch is so entitled she thinks she can send me a one word message and then sit back and allow me to seduce her. jesus fucking christ. not only that, but it takes her THREE messages to convey to me that she thinks my profile is funny. and what's more, she can't even do that without some prompting from me. what a waste of time. if she can't string together five words into a sentence then why the fuck am i gonna make any effort for her? imagine, imagine, if you could send "wow" to every girl and then have them dropping their drawers
2) okcupid girl. has a giant cookie, with candy eyes, held up in front of her face. that's it. no other pics.
me: such beautiful eyes
her: (NINE MONTHS LATER) (3 smiley faces)
her: haha
her: thx (smiley face)
again, this girl takes 3 goddamn messages to say thanks for something from NINE MONTHS AGO. and doesn't even make sense. she's thanking me for what, exactly?
3. okcupid. possible hot american. blond. wearing a native-american headdress. holding a big mug in front of her face, which has a pic of a buddha. her screen name is maeABC (look her up, why not?)
me: your profile is like the beginning of a joke -
a buddha, a red indian and an american-born chinese walk into a bar .. (note the creativity in the opener. compare that with 'wow')
her: And and ....
her: Wait u think am ABC?
me: Well, now I think you're an ABCDummy
her: Ok here's what
U explain that dummy comment to me, cause duh am a "dummy"
Second WOW
dat profile ...dude
I took a moment to read it
gotta say was entertained and it's not easy entertaining me
me: Uhmm your screen name is ABC.
Thanks for compliments.. Your profile leaves a lot to the imagination. (i'm giving her a window of opportunity here, to give me something, as her profile is, of course, blank)
her: Nah am just lazy
And my name was too short for"ok stupid " to accept so
I added the ABC (she gives nothing, almost killed the conversation right there, and i almost decided to exit, but .. give her another chance)
me: i'm guessing your name's not mae, then. i will also guess that you are not, in fact an abc. and that there's beer in that mug?
how'm i doing - three out of three, right
her: i am not chinese
My name is mae
The mug will remain a mystery (again she gives very little)
me: that question mark is in the wrong place. it makes that sentence look odd. try to read it as a statement: there's beer in that mug.
i'm a stickler for correct grammar and spelling. yours is terrible, by the way
her: thx (the perfect response, maybe i was wrong about this girl)
me: ha that's the perfect response. made me laugh
ok i'll give you the benefit of the doubt re: the mug's contents. i'd love it to be gin and tonic
her: Bingo
her: Plot twist: it's empty (WTF?)
me: plot twist? this isn't an episode of sex and the city, young lady. it's supposed to be a conversation.
perhaps you are better at it face-to-face (i'm not beating around the bush now, she's had plenty of chances to contribute)
her: Nop
No hope there
as terrible as in here (this is my cue to exit)
next day .....
her: Wasn't it u who said keep the convo goin
What u waitin for??? (i ignore this, i'm done with this dippy bitch)
for several days following this she visits my profile every day. i can almost hear the wheels turning in her head.
4. girl i picked up in supermarket last year. didn't bang. have her on wechat. haven't communicated since around the time we met.
her: hi how are you these days
me:?
her: how are you? or you totally forgot who i am?
me: no i remember. you have the same picture. enjoying the spring time weather? (i'm giving her an in here)
her: (smiley face) (i refuse to communicate with emoji so i'm almost done here already)
her: how are you (jesus, she got nothin, this girl)
me: so you're bored on a sunday afternoon
her: (smiley face)
me: nothing to do but look through your contacts
her: don't be so sensitive
me: so you suddenly decided that you need to know how lao che is doing?
her: it's just we haven't talked for a while
me: exactly
her: so it's not bad to text you, right?
me: you're bored. you scrolled through your contacts looking for someone to entertain you for a few minutes
her: no i didn't scroll through all my contacts.
me: just up to the J K L
her: so you don't want to talk to me?
me: depends whether or not you have a point
her: just want to talk to an old friend (!)
me: we've already established that you're simply bored
her: if you don't want to talk to me it's fine
me: it's fine, either way. but don't pretend you contacted me because you're interested to know how i am
her: what can i do if you don't believe me?
me: you can either be honest. or have a point. something to say
her: i don't know what to say now.
me: exactly
now, for some people, 3 and 4 may seem particularly harsh. and no doubt i could have played them differently. but both of those girls are practically screaming "entertain me entertain me" without giving any reason at all for me to converse with them.
let's look at the alternatives for number 4
a) be nice, fall into her frame. "i'm fine thanks, yeah how you doing bla bla bla?" result, boring conversation which leads to no date or sex but does lead to another "hi how are you" 6 months down the line
b) ignore. this is the strongest option, i think. but sometimes you just wanna give people a piece of your mind, ya know? this girl was so boring the only thing she had was to ask how i was, and when i asked about her she could only give a smiley face. jesus christ.