My bf seems less horny than me

girlchasing

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May 24, 2021
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Hey y'all, I've been dating this guy for a few months now and everything's great. He's really into me and thinks I'm really pretty. Only thing is, I think I have a higher sex drive than him. By that I mean, there are times when I just have to have him and I've never seen him almost desperate like that. We have sex pretty often and it is GREAT and I know he's sexually attracted to me but he's never the one to initiate and feels uncomfortable telling me or showing me when he's horny. I've told him before that telling/showing me does not bother me at all and just makes me feel wanted and attractive, but he's just naturally not open about that stuff. Is there anything I can do to make sure that I don't have to initiate it all the time without sacrificing how often we have sex? My worry is if I just stop initiating and make him come to me, we'll have sex way less.
 

Alpha13SC

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Sep 13, 2021
Messages
256
Happened to me in the past, I was in both position, different times. Just talked about it. After that, if things get better, then you solved the problem. If it didn't, then maybe it could be something else. Withdrawing your desire is knee-jerking move(I think this is how it's called, learned this from forum, hope I m not wrong). I did it and it didn't work. When I talked about it, the situation improved, but it was an underlying problem there which needed to be approached.

What you can try, strategy wise is to tease him, moves, outfits, play along just to build some sexual tension.
 

Will_V

Chieftan
Staff member
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Jan 24, 2021
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707
Hey y'all, I've been dating this guy for a few months now and everything's great. He's really into me and thinks I'm really pretty. Only thing is, I think I have a higher sex drive than him. By that I mean, there are times when I just have to have him and I've never seen him almost desperate like that. We have sex pretty often and it is GREAT and I know he's sexually attracted to me but he's never the one to initiate and feels uncomfortable telling me or showing me when he's horny. I've told him before that telling/showing me does not bother me at all and just makes me feel wanted and attractive, but he's just naturally not open about that stuff. Is there anything I can do to make sure that I don't have to initiate it all the time without sacrificing how often we have sex? My worry is if I just stop initiating and make him come to me, we'll have sex way less.

Don't tell him to to initiate, you're not his psychologist. Dress in something sexy, wear some perfume he likes, discover what turns him on especially and use it to get his attention. And show him how much you love it when he makes a move.

Guys generally get turned on by being in control, and telling him what to do is the opposite of that.

Some guys just don't have much sex drive though.
 

Derek da man

Cro-Magnon Man
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Joined
Jan 24, 2020
Messages
188
I used to be the typical "nice guy" having been indocronated by environment and media where it is portrayed that women like a soft gentle loving man who treats them like a princess. They do some of the time but they also want a man to be strong, firm, take the lead and be dominant and sometimes a little rough.

Note - there is always respect on both sides. Just that most women like a man who isn't afraid of being different to the social conditioning.
 

SunKing

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
Joined
Mar 28, 2021
Messages
394
If he isn’t comfortable with his sexuality like you say then it’s probably best for both of you if you stop initiating the sex. That way if he wants to have sex he’ll have to take on an active role.

If he thinks you’re attractive then talking it out probably won’t work. I think it’s normal for you to want him to take a more active role sometimes. Girls like to feel desired that’s part of the sex for you all. Where as us guy’s are more concerned with the action. It won’t hurt getting him to initiate in fact it’ll probably help him.
 

Beck Bass

Cro-Magnon Man
Cro-Magnon Man
Joined
Mar 9, 2020
Messages
266
Just dress pretty sexy and act very sexy... But keep him chasing, like try to get him super horny, so he has to initiate sex.
By that I mean, there are times when I just have to have him and I've never seen him almost desperate like that. We have sex pretty often and it is GREAT
I've been with some super horny chicks, and I know what you mean, but I am myself super sexual, so if they wanted it, I was down (and I generally initiate sex, because I know it makes girls feel more desired and cherished, but I think most guys don't think like that, call it society brainwashing or whatever, like "men just wanna use women" and this type of bs). Another thing to take in account is that women really go crazy for a good D, with all due respect, like the way men and women are "wired" is that women go crazy for a single man if he gives them all they want/need, and while men love the dedication of a woman, the grass always seem greener on the other side... For the most part, because our instincts tell us to impregnate as much hot women as we can (lol, I know this sounds kinda dark, but it's a bit true deep down, though a special girl can change a guy... I myself am not into monogamy really, so dunno, take this with a grain of salt).
Like while I really liked fucking those girls, they would tell me they have been dreaming about my dick and stuff like that, that I couldn't quite relate, but I liked the attention anyway. I guess it's kinda how it goes in relationships when the girl is (very) sexual and the guy is strong and masculine, aka gives her the good D.

Either way, I think the best for you to do is tease him as much as you can, you can spice things up if you can, like change your hair cut/color (or simply the way you do your hair, that can change a lot how a girl looks), wear different stuff, like sexy clothes or even costumes, so effectivelly you become "other woman". You also can try to discover something he REALLY enjoys in sex, like my ex used to lick my ear in a way I was crazy about, so I wanted more sex with her because I knew she would do it, specially when I ordered her to. You can also do other stuff like "tonight I'm only gonna give you oral", so he becomes thirty for your pussy, though this can backfire big time, I know most sexual girls really get off to giving oral... But yeah, on sumary, you can make him want sex more, either by creating an "artificial" scarcity, or changing things up so they seem fresh to him. But maybe he really has a lower sex drive. No idea.
 
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