- Joined
- Jan 17, 2019
- Messages
- 774
A couple of days ago I got my first cold approach lay, after hundreds of rejections over the last couple of months. Not only that, but it was with a girl I considered a personal 10.
The approach:
I went out with two of my wings for some night street game, in ripped black jeans, a black scoop neck t-shirt, black Chelsea boots and a new denim jacket. Decided to try out this new less formal style as I wasn’t having much success with my more formal style in previous weeks (I suspect it may have been due to attainability issues)
We had been walking around the bar district for around an hour – we’d had a couple of strong group interactions but no real hooks. It was around 8pm, and still light out. Everyone was dressed up – it was Saturday night. I was getting a little frustrated with myself as my wings had been the ones to open most of the sets and I hadn’t really pushed myself.
That’s when I spotted her in my periphery. A sexy blonde with a ponytail and banging bod in activewear walking in the opposite direction. She wasn’t dressed up like everyone else. “This one” I thought without hesitation. I told my wings I was going for it, turned around, and ran up beside her, opening indirect. "Aren't you cold? I'm wearing a jacket and I am freezing, I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now"
She turned to face me and that’s when I realized how hot this girl actually was. Lightly tanned skin, sexy lips, perfect white teeth. She was a personal 10. I hid my interest first up. She laughed and we got to chatting as she walked. Found out she was walking home. She asked me where I was headed - I told her I was heading to meet my friends at a certain bar which was on the way (lies, I'd just ditched them). I found out she was a former flight attendant who had lost her job due to COVID (I got very excited about this, I have always had a thing for sexy flight attendants)
I made my interest clear after looking at her face a couple times, feigning a sudden interest. "Wow, you're cute. I didn't realize how cute you actually were before when I started talking to you". She went a bit quite and I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but the convo continued.
We got to the point where I had to turn off to head to my bar. She asked me which way I was going - I told her right. Without hesitation she said "I'll come walk with you!". And so we went, walking for another couple of minutes. On the way I seeded the date by talking about where I lived and the nice rooftop that just opened up nearby. When I got to the bar, I stopped to look at her. She started mumbling something - I think she was getting a bit nervous, which blew my mind. I couldn’t believe that I was making this girl nervous. I told her I had to go, but that if she was down, I'd love to show her that rooftop bar sometime. She quickly agreed, but still seemed nervous. "Do you have Instagram?" she asked. "I do, but don't really use it too much, I'll take your number". She gave it to me.
As I was entering it she started mumbling something again which made no sense at all. I gave a little laugh. "Don't worry, here, I'll call you so you have my number" and called it. She smiled and seemed relieved. We said our goodbyes and left - but she turned around to go back the complete other direction. She'd clearly come well out of her way just so she could keep talking to me. Some of the guys mentioned that I should have gone for the SNL. With how attracted she was to me, I probably could have. But I played it safe – at the time I was thinking my value would tank in her eyes if I ditched my friends to hang out with her. I called my friends afterwords, told them to meet me at the bar and we spent the rest of the night opening more sets.
Setting the date
I sent an icebreaker text the next morning. She responded, telling me how she had waited in line for an hour for ramen the previous night. I teased her about this, and immediately asked her schedule. She told me she was available Friday – I agreed to this (six days in advance – this was before my FU where you guys recommended not locking in a date this far in advance).
We got into some light chit chat throughout the week. She was asking me a lot of questions (how was your day/week etc.) and shared details about herself such as where she worked (COVID related). I answered on occasion, but sometimes deliberately ignored what she was saying, instead keeping things light and flirty (saying things like, “I’m going to bring a Hazmat suit on Friday, just in case”
On Thursday night, she texted telling me that there was a chance work was going to call her in on Friday, and asked if I was available Saturday. I actually had plans that evening, so was honest and told her that I would have to get back to her (but realistically, I knew I was going to go and cut short my other plans (beach with friends). I did this to make myself seem less available, as Velasco suggested. Friday rolled around, she confirmed that she couldn’t do tonight, I again told her I would confirm if I could do tomorrow later to keep the suspense. I then confirmed that evening.
The date
My original plan was to go to my usual bar, then head to the rooftop after 1-2 drinks. I couldn’t get a booking for my original bar due to the reschedule (I had made one for Friday), so we headed straight to the bottom floor of the rooftop which allowed walk-ins.
I got there first and found a table. She arrived 10 minutes later looking super sexy in a white lace top and pink shorts. We were sitting opposite each other which wasn’t ideal.
From the get-go she was enthusiastic, looking at me excitedly. I found out that she was actually 30 – a couple of years older than me. Pretty early on she set a sexual frame by bringing up how she loved dolphins because they were the only animals apart from humans that enjoyed sex. We started lightly joking back and forth about having sex with dolphins– I didn’t really take advantage of this opportunity to dig deeper into other sexual topics.
I knew what I was dealing with when, half an hour into the date, I extended my hand out across the table to make a point and she grabbed it. This was kind of awkward, we were now holding hands across the table. I relaxed my hand but she was holding on. She was looking at me almost needily. I was pretty stressed at this point – because I knew there was a real chance of me missing an escalation window and her enthusiasm dying down.
After 40 minutes I knew it was time to move. I suggested we go upstairs to check out the rooftop as I had promised her. The only problem was, this was Saturday night. The venue was absolutely packed. We couldn’t get up to the rooftop – she told me that we’d have to check it out another time. So we headed down again – I still felt it was too soon to pull and I wanted to physically escalate some more, she suggested sitting somewhere else - I picked a quite corner of the bar with stools so we could sit next to each other. We talked there for another 40 minutes, getting a few more drinks.
I made sure to hold on to her at points, putting my face really close to hers when I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I really wanted to kiss her but restrained myself from doing so. I found out she was into star signs which I ribbed her about. When she told me she was a cancer I playfully grabbed her and pulled her in close, saying “Don’t be so hard on yourself”. I seeded the pull by bringing up TV shows, and telling her that I didn’t really enjoy watching them by myself and only with other people.
The pull
Around 9:30 (we’d been there for an hour and a half total) downstairs started to get packed and loud – they were setting up the dance floor and all the 18 year olds were coming downstairs. We got one last drink – and then I suggested we find somewhere quieter after this – she agreed. At this point I went for the pull. “Hey, you know how earlier I was saying that I only enjoy watching TV shows with other people? I think we should do that, it’ll be fun (and quiet). She paused for a moment, then agreed, saying that she’d have to leave early as she had to be up early the next morning.
On the way back, she told me she was hungry. We stopped at a fast food joint on the way back – and like a fool I agreed to her suggestion of sitting down to eat. While we waited I remembered reading here that nothing defuses sexual tension more than when this happens – I told myself that when the food arrived, I was just going to naturally suggest we walk with it instead. As luck would have it, the joint messed up and thought we had said takeaway so I suggested we bounce and walk and she agreed.
Back at mine, we sat on the couch, put on the TV, and within 5 minutes were making out. No LMR.
I won’t go into full detail but want to point out a couple of memorable moments.
We cuddled on the couch before she had to leave. She asked me what my schedule was looking like. Like a fool, I feigned aloofness and said that I was pretty busy, but that my Tuesday was free. She mentioned that she was going to be travelling interstate. We shared a passionate kiss and then she left. I told her to text me when she got home. She did, thanking me for the night. I said it was my pleasure and wished her goodnight. I feel like I should have qualified her saying that I had a fun night too, but in my elevated state of excitement I wasn’t thinking straight.
Where to now
I feel like I have dropped the ball. Post sex, I feel like I wasn’t as warm with her as I should have been – and I’m worried now that I might send her into auto-rejection. This was made even worse by the fact that, two days later (yesterday) I had another date I was running late for and accidentally texted her, which she jokingly responded to. “Hope whoever you were late for got the message lol”. I feel like it’s coming across like I don’t value her at all and only wanted her for one thing. I texted her today saying that I enjoyed Saturday and want to see her again.
One important point though – she accidentally took my necklace with her, and is planning on dropping it back to me. This means we may get some more face to face interaction soon. Either that, or she will drop it on my doorstep when I’m at work.
I feel like my post sex aloofness, in combination with the fact that I wasn’t able to stay hard, means that she won’t want to meet again. I hope I am wrong.
Either way, even if it ends up being bittersweet, this will always be one of the most memorable moments of my life. And it’s all thanks to GC and you guys.
The approach:
I went out with two of my wings for some night street game, in ripped black jeans, a black scoop neck t-shirt, black Chelsea boots and a new denim jacket. Decided to try out this new less formal style as I wasn’t having much success with my more formal style in previous weeks (I suspect it may have been due to attainability issues)
We had been walking around the bar district for around an hour – we’d had a couple of strong group interactions but no real hooks. It was around 8pm, and still light out. Everyone was dressed up – it was Saturday night. I was getting a little frustrated with myself as my wings had been the ones to open most of the sets and I hadn’t really pushed myself.
That’s when I spotted her in my periphery. A sexy blonde with a ponytail and banging bod in activewear walking in the opposite direction. She wasn’t dressed up like everyone else. “This one” I thought without hesitation. I told my wings I was going for it, turned around, and ran up beside her, opening indirect. "Aren't you cold? I'm wearing a jacket and I am freezing, I can't even imagine what you're feeling right now"
She turned to face me and that’s when I realized how hot this girl actually was. Lightly tanned skin, sexy lips, perfect white teeth. She was a personal 10. I hid my interest first up. She laughed and we got to chatting as she walked. Found out she was walking home. She asked me where I was headed - I told her I was heading to meet my friends at a certain bar which was on the way (lies, I'd just ditched them). I found out she was a former flight attendant who had lost her job due to COVID (I got very excited about this, I have always had a thing for sexy flight attendants)
I made my interest clear after looking at her face a couple times, feigning a sudden interest. "Wow, you're cute. I didn't realize how cute you actually were before when I started talking to you". She went a bit quite and I couldn't tell what she was thinking, but the convo continued.
We got to the point where I had to turn off to head to my bar. She asked me which way I was going - I told her right. Without hesitation she said "I'll come walk with you!". And so we went, walking for another couple of minutes. On the way I seeded the date by talking about where I lived and the nice rooftop that just opened up nearby. When I got to the bar, I stopped to look at her. She started mumbling something - I think she was getting a bit nervous, which blew my mind. I couldn’t believe that I was making this girl nervous. I told her I had to go, but that if she was down, I'd love to show her that rooftop bar sometime. She quickly agreed, but still seemed nervous. "Do you have Instagram?" she asked. "I do, but don't really use it too much, I'll take your number". She gave it to me.
As I was entering it she started mumbling something again which made no sense at all. I gave a little laugh. "Don't worry, here, I'll call you so you have my number" and called it. She smiled and seemed relieved. We said our goodbyes and left - but she turned around to go back the complete other direction. She'd clearly come well out of her way just so she could keep talking to me. Some of the guys mentioned that I should have gone for the SNL. With how attracted she was to me, I probably could have. But I played it safe – at the time I was thinking my value would tank in her eyes if I ditched my friends to hang out with her. I called my friends afterwords, told them to meet me at the bar and we spent the rest of the night opening more sets.
Setting the date
I sent an icebreaker text the next morning. She responded, telling me how she had waited in line for an hour for ramen the previous night. I teased her about this, and immediately asked her schedule. She told me she was available Friday – I agreed to this (six days in advance – this was before my FU where you guys recommended not locking in a date this far in advance).
We got into some light chit chat throughout the week. She was asking me a lot of questions (how was your day/week etc.) and shared details about herself such as where she worked (COVID related). I answered on occasion, but sometimes deliberately ignored what she was saying, instead keeping things light and flirty (saying things like, “I’m going to bring a Hazmat suit on Friday, just in case”
On Thursday night, she texted telling me that there was a chance work was going to call her in on Friday, and asked if I was available Saturday. I actually had plans that evening, so was honest and told her that I would have to get back to her (but realistically, I knew I was going to go and cut short my other plans (beach with friends). I did this to make myself seem less available, as Velasco suggested. Friday rolled around, she confirmed that she couldn’t do tonight, I again told her I would confirm if I could do tomorrow later to keep the suspense. I then confirmed that evening.
The date
My original plan was to go to my usual bar, then head to the rooftop after 1-2 drinks. I couldn’t get a booking for my original bar due to the reschedule (I had made one for Friday), so we headed straight to the bottom floor of the rooftop which allowed walk-ins.
I got there first and found a table. She arrived 10 minutes later looking super sexy in a white lace top and pink shorts. We were sitting opposite each other which wasn’t ideal.
From the get-go she was enthusiastic, looking at me excitedly. I found out that she was actually 30 – a couple of years older than me. Pretty early on she set a sexual frame by bringing up how she loved dolphins because they were the only animals apart from humans that enjoyed sex. We started lightly joking back and forth about having sex with dolphins– I didn’t really take advantage of this opportunity to dig deeper into other sexual topics.
I knew what I was dealing with when, half an hour into the date, I extended my hand out across the table to make a point and she grabbed it. This was kind of awkward, we were now holding hands across the table. I relaxed my hand but she was holding on. She was looking at me almost needily. I was pretty stressed at this point – because I knew there was a real chance of me missing an escalation window and her enthusiasm dying down.
After 40 minutes I knew it was time to move. I suggested we go upstairs to check out the rooftop as I had promised her. The only problem was, this was Saturday night. The venue was absolutely packed. We couldn’t get up to the rooftop – she told me that we’d have to check it out another time. So we headed down again – I still felt it was too soon to pull and I wanted to physically escalate some more, she suggested sitting somewhere else - I picked a quite corner of the bar with stools so we could sit next to each other. We talked there for another 40 minutes, getting a few more drinks.
I made sure to hold on to her at points, putting my face really close to hers when I couldn’t hear what she was saying. I really wanted to kiss her but restrained myself from doing so. I found out she was into star signs which I ribbed her about. When she told me she was a cancer I playfully grabbed her and pulled her in close, saying “Don’t be so hard on yourself”. I seeded the pull by bringing up TV shows, and telling her that I didn’t really enjoy watching them by myself and only with other people.
The pull
Around 9:30 (we’d been there for an hour and a half total) downstairs started to get packed and loud – they were setting up the dance floor and all the 18 year olds were coming downstairs. We got one last drink – and then I suggested we find somewhere quieter after this – she agreed. At this point I went for the pull. “Hey, you know how earlier I was saying that I only enjoy watching TV shows with other people? I think we should do that, it’ll be fun (and quiet). She paused for a moment, then agreed, saying that she’d have to leave early as she had to be up early the next morning.
On the way back, she told me she was hungry. We stopped at a fast food joint on the way back – and like a fool I agreed to her suggestion of sitting down to eat. While we waited I remembered reading here that nothing defuses sexual tension more than when this happens – I told myself that when the food arrived, I was just going to naturally suggest we walk with it instead. As luck would have it, the joint messed up and thought we had said takeaway so I suggested we bounce and walk and she agreed.
Back at mine, we sat on the couch, put on the TV, and within 5 minutes were making out. No LMR.
I won’t go into full detail but want to point out a couple of memorable moments.
- This girl looked absolutely flawless. Tightly toned athletic body, perfect skin, beautiful blonde hair done up in a ponytail, sexy lips and stunningly white teeth. The whole time it honestly didn’t feel real. I couldn’t believe this was actually happening. Not only that, but I couldn’t believe how enthusiastic she was for me.
- I made her cum with my fingers within the first 10 minutes using the “come hither” motion to hit her G-spot – which I’d read in the 8 types of orgasm routine just last week. She directed me a little bit which made me feel a little insecure. After she came she immediately said “My god, you are amazing” and pulled me in for a passionate kiss. She complimented me throughout, telling me how sexy I was and how nice my cock was. I made sure to tell her how sexy she was too.
- My housemates were out – when she found this out she excitedly said that “we have so many options”. She was extremely flexible and contorting herself on the couch in really sexy positions. This made me insecure about my limited experience – I felt like I was wasting the opportunity and was getting nervous that at any moment I would give myself away as having limited experience. This still fills me with dread.
- While she was sucking me off, I felt myself getting close. I told her to hold off because I wouldn’t be able to control myself and wanted to fuck her first. She asked me “you won’t be able to go for multiple rounds?”. This made me insecure, because it’s true. I have an extremely long refractory period. I want to find out how to reduce this because it honestly worries me and makes me doubt my ability to ever become a really good lover.
- I banged her in a couple of different positions on the couch, but it kept going soft which was really frustrating. I think it was due to excessive masturbation over the last couple of months (due to all the frustration of interacting with so many pretty girls but not closing). She was a champion, and didn’t hesitate to go down on me for as long as it took to get hard again, even with the condom on.
- After about half an hour of this when I was still going soft (damn cock!), she told me she was happy for me to finish in her mouth. I had to actually concentrate really hard to do it – again I think it was because of the excessive masturbation – what set me over was thinking about the first time I saw her face after I approached her, how hot she was, how sexy her lips and how hot it was that they were wrapped around my cock right now.
We cuddled on the couch before she had to leave. She asked me what my schedule was looking like. Like a fool, I feigned aloofness and said that I was pretty busy, but that my Tuesday was free. She mentioned that she was going to be travelling interstate. We shared a passionate kiss and then she left. I told her to text me when she got home. She did, thanking me for the night. I said it was my pleasure and wished her goodnight. I feel like I should have qualified her saying that I had a fun night too, but in my elevated state of excitement I wasn’t thinking straight.
Where to now
I feel like I have dropped the ball. Post sex, I feel like I wasn’t as warm with her as I should have been – and I’m worried now that I might send her into auto-rejection. This was made even worse by the fact that, two days later (yesterday) I had another date I was running late for and accidentally texted her, which she jokingly responded to. “Hope whoever you were late for got the message lol”. I feel like it’s coming across like I don’t value her at all and only wanted her for one thing. I texted her today saying that I enjoyed Saturday and want to see her again.
One important point though – she accidentally took my necklace with her, and is planning on dropping it back to me. This means we may get some more face to face interaction soon. Either that, or she will drop it on my doorstep when I’m at work.
I feel like my post sex aloofness, in combination with the fact that I wasn’t able to stay hard, means that she won’t want to meet again. I hope I am wrong.
Either way, even if it ends up being bittersweet, this will always be one of the most memorable moments of my life. And it’s all thanks to GC and you guys.
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