Nightgame: My experience when going directly for the hot girls versus socializing with everyone at the venue.

[RisingCane]

I thought I'd share this and have Nightgame legends like @Teevster (whose article on getting into the toughest venues has saved the nights of more men than he would have ever thought!) and @Skills give their feedback as well. I've been reflecting on my nights where I have gone out with my Wing (or occasionally by myself) and we had the mentality of wanting to go out to just talk to hot girls versus nights where we wanted to just go out to "have fun" and "socialize". I've also noticed a difference in Wings that do one style versus the other.

Going directly for the hot girls.

Here are some of the pros:

• We objectively had better results on nights like this (numbers, pulls, and lays)
• These nights were simple and straightforward (go out and talk to hot girls)
• We actually grew our Game the most on these nights and improved the most
• While unintended, we actually made friends because guys who do not approach saw us approaching hot girls and doing well

Here are some of the cons:

• When they were bad, they were pretty bad (strings of rejections)
• We feel like at times, even if we had results, some people at the bar saw us as those guys there to pickup chicks
• In some venues, the workers knew us as the guys who talk to hot girls which they didn't seem to mind so not a bad thing?
• When working a set larger than 3 women, we felt like we were outmatched

Socializing with everyone.

Pros:

• It felt "good" even though our results were way worse
• We would meet cool people that would invite us to their party or introduce us to better venues
• Occasionally, we would find another Wing who could help us out with a larger group

Cons

• We actually wasted the whole night "socializing" and "feeling good" than talking to hot girls
• The above is really common and I notice some guys who will just spend the whole night drinking beers, chatting sports/economy, and not talking to any hot girls saying its a good night because they had a "good time"
• Some guys we would talk to earlier in the night would try to AMOG us or break into our sets later in the night
• For every cool person we met, we probably met at least 3 people who were between meh to just insufferable

My observations about guys that prefer one versus the other.

Directly going for the hot girls

• Bold, don't give a care, and know what they want
• More of the cut-throat business type
• Treat Game as almost a mission
• Absolutely hate wasting their time or anyone that wastes their time
• Do objectively get better results from what I have seen

The Socialize with everyone guys (think someone like Michael Sartain)

• Usually somewhat more on the shy side
• Will rarely approach a hot girl direct
• You can introduce the more calibrated guys in this group to your actual friends and not have to worry about them ruining your reputation
• Are more than okay with a night where they do not pull
• Are okay with just "passing time" rather than being as heavily results oriented
• Not going to lie here, long-term, way more fun to hang out with as friends

My thoughts and experiences.

I found that when I had nights where I just wanted to talk to hot girls and not waste time with the social riff raff, I learned so much more about Game and what I am capable of. I learned how to move sets forward. However, at the same time, those nights for me were not always enjoyable. They were on polar ends. When they were good, they were the best, when they sucked, they were the worst.

When I had the "socialize with everyone" nights, talking to hot girls was hard.

In fact, when I go out with a crew of friends, I find cold approach near impossible at a nightclub. I feel like I need a guy who is a Wingman and in the Game community or a good friend who really knows me to be able to do that. Even when I am socializing with a mixed group of people at a bar, especially if it has women in it, it is hard to go into that guy who wants to find a hot girl at a bar and get laid mode. It's almost like I feel as if I am being watched if that makes sense.

What I have found is that the happy medium for me is talking to the right people like the staff and that is it.

But I am interested in hearing what others have seen work best for them in nightgame on nights they actually got results (pulls and lays).

 

[Skills]

I thought I'd share this and have Nightgame legends like @Teevster (whose article on getting into the toughest venues has saved the nights of more men than he would have ever thought!) and @Skills give their feedback as well. I've been reflecting on my nights where I have gone out with my Wing (or occasionally by myself) and we had the mentality of wanting to go out to just talk to hot girls versus nights where we wanted to just go out to "have fun" and "socialize". I've also noticed a difference in Wings that do one style versus the other.

Going directly for the hot girls.

Here are some of the pros:

• We objectively had better results on nights like this (numbers, pulls, and lays)
• These nights were simple and straightforward (go out and talk to hot girls)
• We actually grew our Game the most on these nights and improved the most
• While unintended, we actually made friends because guys who do not approach saw us approaching hot girls and doing well

Here are some of the cons:

• When they were bad, they were pretty bad (strings of rejections)
• We feel like at times, even if we had results, some people at the bar saw us as those guys there to pickup chicks
• In some venues, the workers knew us as the guys who talk to hot girls which they didn't seem to mind so not a bad thing?
• When working a set larger than 3 women, we felt like we were outmatched

Socializing with everyone.

Pros:

• It felt "good" even though our results were way worse
• We would meet cool people that would invite us to their party or introduce us to better venues
• Occasionally, we would find another Wing who could help us out with a larger group

Cons

• We actually wasted the whole night "socializing" and "feeling good" than talking to hot girls
• The above is really common and I notice some guys who will just spend the whole night drinking beers, chatting sports/economy, and not talking to any hot girls saying its a good night because they had a "good time"
• Some guys we would talk to earlier in the night would try to AMOG us or break into our sets later in the night
• For every cool person we met, we probably met at least 3 people who were between meh to just insufferable

My observations about guys that prefer one versus the other.

Directly going for the hot girls

• Bold, don't give a care, and know what they want
• More of the cut-throat business type
• Treat Game as almost a mission
• Absolutely hate wasting their time or anyone that wastes their time
• Do objectively get better results from what I have seen

The Socialize with everyone guys (think someone like Michael Sartain)

• Usually somewhat more on the shy side
• Will rarely approach a hot girl direct
• You can introduce the more calibrated guys in this group to your actual friends and not have to worry about them ruining your reputation
• Are more than okay with a night where they do not pull
• Are okay with just "passing time" rather than being as heavily results oriented
• Not going to lie here, long-term, way more fun to hang out with as friends

My thoughts and experiences.

I found that when I had nights where I just wanted to talk to hot girls and not waste time with the social riff raff, I learned so much more about Game and what I am capable of. I learned how to move sets forward. However, at the same time, those nights for me were not always enjoyable. They were on polar ends. When they were good, they were the best, when they sucked, they were the worst.

When I had the "socialize with everyone" nights, talking to hot girls was hard.

In fact, when I go out with a crew of friends, I find cold approach near impossible at a nightclub. I feel like I need a guy who is a Wingman and in the Game community or a good friend who really knows me to be able to do that. Even when I am socializing with a mixed group of people at a bar, especially if it has women in it, it is hard to go into that guy who wants to find a hot girl at a bar and get laid mode. It's almost like I feel as if I am being watched if that makes sense.

What I have found is that the happy medium for me is talking to the right people like the staff and that is it.

But I am interested in hearing what others have seen work best for them in nightgame on nights they actually got results (pulls and lays).

Both work, do what you want..... For example if you are going out multiple nights, the first night you may be more social if you are out of momentum...

if you are going out one night of the week, you can use the "first two hours don't count mentality"

pick up should not look like pick up, but if it does and you and your wings burn the venue and kill social proof just bounce to another floor, or another venue....

 

[Teevster]

Socializing with everyone.

Pros:

• It felt "good" even though our results were way worse
• We would meet cool people that would invite us to their party or introduce us to better venues
• Occasionally, we would find another Wing who could help us out with a larger group

Cons

• We actually wasted the whole night "socializing" and "feeling good" than talking to hot girls
• The above is really common and I notice some guys who will just spend the whole night drinking beers, chatting sports/economy, and not talking to any hot girls saying its a good night because they had a "good time"
• Some guys we would talk to earlier in the night would try to AMOG us or break into our sets later in the night
• For every cool person we met, we probably met at least 3 people who were between meh to just insufferable

This type of game - that is the social proof game, works, but it is context dependent.
- What type of venue you are in: are you in a venue were you can actually be seen with girls? Preferably a small venue without too much chaos, where there is a lot of visibility, and ideally, one room.
- How much time you have - it takes time to build up. In some places, venues close earlier - e.g. 2 am. I admit that if that is the case, such type of game is less ideal - UNLESS, you either start very early in a chill bar, and extract a few girls you meet there to the main venue, or bring some female friends (known as pivots) to give you a headstart.
- How you feel - you really need to feel in a social mood.

And of course, you need to play things right - it is not just talk to a bunch of people. There is an actual strategy to making this work - such as doing spill-overs, mergings, poisitionings (where you position yourself in order to be seen with girls - sometimes you actually have to move the group to a spot with high visibility), not spending too much time on each girl, avoid having "gaps" in your social proof flow...

Yeah, it is not just "go chat to a bunch of people".

-Teevster

 

[average_daygamer]

Yes, this was as I thought.

The problem is, if you do go only for the HB's, this can attract attention from the security, like I described in my thread, where the bouncer intervened and checked in with the girls after my approach.

So if you only go for HB's you could be seen as an undesirable creep by the security team, who's duty it is to protect the girls from creeps.

 

[Teevster]

Yes, this was as I thought.

The problem is, if you do go only for the HB's, this can attract attention from the security, like I described in my thread, where the bouncer intervened and checked in with the girls after my approach.

So if you only go for HB's you could be seen as an undesirable creep by the security team, who's duty it is to protect the girls from creeps.

Totally something to keep in mind.

Good pick up is discret pick up - outsider should not know you are pickig up some chick.

This is also why indirect game tend to be favoured by frequent clubbers.

We also tend to avoid approaching in front of bouncer, and one should avoid escalating or making out in front of them too.

Best,
Teevster

 

[average_daygamer]

Totally something to keep in mind.

Good pick up is discret pick up - outsider should not know you are pickig up some chick.

This is also why indirect game tend to be favoured by frequent clubbers.

We also tend to avoid approaching in front of bouncer, and one should avoid escalating or making out in front of them too.

Best,
Teevster

This is interesting and quite contradictory to the things I have read online and even seen people say in person in the Uk, which is a very insular society, outside of big cities.

I got the impression it was very much a case of "anything goes"in club game and the bolder the approach the better.

This new knowledge that you have dropped will allow me to take the pressure off next time in the club.

Maybe I'll look for opportunities rather than brute forcing the approach. For instance, if the girl is facing the bar, wait for her to turn around before approaching.

I was so much in the habit of forcing myself to approach the harder sets and looking for blowouts to get the ball rolling.

 

[Teevster]

Maybe I'll look for opportunities rather than brute forcing the approach. For instance, if the girl is facing the bar, wait for her to turn around before approaching.

This is called screening game - and it has its benefits, but can at times be passive. We have plenty of articles on the subject. Read up on Approach invitations, screening, and sniper game (often synonymous to screening game). Often the go-to in crowded load clubs, and also the go-to for dancefloor guys, and guy who tend to prefer physical game (escalation).

Feel free to try it out. Why not.

But it is not what I meant with discreet pick up. It can be verbal, and standard. Just be smooth and lowkey - remember isolation is always the key! right? avoid overly public overt moves - why? well it can cause resistance.

No need to flash with loud jokes, big hugs, kiss on cheeks, huge laughs - unless you want attention which can be warranted if... and only if your game plan is to opt for social proof - ref the social game op lists.

Ask yourself - what is your plan? Why are you doing what you are doing? And once you know, ask yourself what the pitfalls and benefits are, and navigate accordingly. That's how good game plans are made.

-Teevster

 

[RisingCane]

This type of game - that is the social proof game, works, but it is context dependent.
- What type of venue you are in: are you in a venue were you can actually be seen with girls? Preferably a small venue without too much chaos, where there is a lot of visibility, and ideally, one room.
- How much time you have - it takes time to build up. In some places, venues close earlier - e.g. 2 am. I admit that if that is the case, such type of game is less ideal - UNLESS, you either start very early in a chill bar, and extract a few girls you meet there to the main venue, or bring some female friends (known as pivots) to give you a headstart.
- How you feel - you really need to feel in a social mood.

And of course, you need to play things right - it is not just talk to a bunch of people. There is an actual strategy to making this work - such as doing spill-overs, mergings, poisitionings (where you position yourself in order to be seen with girls - sometimes you actually have to move the group to a spot with high visibility), not spending too much time on each girl, avoid having "gaps" in your social proof flow...

Yeah, it is not just "go chat to a bunch of people".

-Teevster

I see but here is my biggest problem with this kind of Game. Maybe I am thinking about nightlife wrong and you are the expert here so feel free to correct me. I think ultimately, it is a numbers game. Sometimes, you can do all of that and it can eat up your time but it will not get you the result you want which is closing the girl of your choice. In that time, you could have talked to so many more girls and gone direct until finding a girl you like who is into you.

The other thing is that I find a lot of guys see right through it too and we have had people do this in social situations to us, we meaning my social circle mixed with girls and guys, and we saw through it. Like I even had a girl call out "he is just trying to get in her pants".

In some situations, it can be your only choice, I get it. However, shouldn't we be doing all we can to go to venues where the volume is?

 

[RisingCane]

Totally something to keep in mind.

Good pick up is discret pick up - outsider should not know you are pickig up some chick.

This is also why indirect game tend to be favoured by frequent clubbers.

We also tend to avoid approaching in front of bouncer, and one should avoid escalating or making out in front of them too.

Best,
Teevster

Wow Europe must have a different vibe. LOL I have gone to venues here in Miami and built rapport with the bouncer, literally told him "yeah man I am here to get laid haha". The dude found it funny and in a couple of cases, even winged me. FWIW, the bouncer in all cases was Black American. I am guessing if I did this in Europe I'd get thrown out.

 

[RisingCane]

Both work, do what you want..... For example if you are going out multiple nights, the first night you may be more social if you are out of momentum...

if you are going out one night of the week, you can use the "first two hours don't count mentality"

pick up should not look like pick up, but if it does and you and your wings burn the venue and kill social proof just bounce to another floor, or another venue....

See this is what I have implemented into my system and you can look into it yourself as well. There is this app called Timeleft. What they do is every Wednesday but now even on Fridays, they put you on a table with 5 different people from the app and you have a dinner with them. They decide the restaurant and all. Its a great time and on Wednesdays, they even have a drinks spot afterwards that you can go to. I find it good to get my momentum going.

 

[Spike]

we saw through it. Like I even had a girl call out "he is just trying to get in her pants".

Yes they know. Which is why it’s vital for the friends to approve of you.

 

[Teevster]

Wow Europe must have a different vibe. LOL I have gone to venues here in Miami and built rapport with the bouncer, literally told him "yeah man I am here to get laid haha". The dude found it funny and in a couple of cases, even winged me. FWIW, the bouncer in all cases was Black American. I am guessing if I did this in Europe I'd get thrown out.

Bouncers know most guys go there to get laid. That's what people expect of the nightlife (especially men), even though clubs only "sell" this illusion - even though the main goal of a club is to sell booze. Still, most bouncers are aware of this, and aware that most guys go there, not to spend 100 dollars on booze (for the sake of drinking overprized booze), but to get laid. Bouncers understand the nightlife, and are fully aware of this, and cannot outright project the image of "blocking men from getting laid", unles they want to kill the venue.

But let us see what happens when these bouncers see your rocking the venue, week end after week end, having girls over you, and worse, seeing you leave with some chick more or less every night. Do that for a while, and we will see if the friendly US bouncer remains "friendly".

Bouncers were never a real issue (especially in this regard) until I started to really master this. Others at my level experienced the same.

It is not a US vs Europe thing.

-Teevster

 

[Teevster]

I see but here is my biggest problem with this kind of Game. Maybe I am thinking about nightlife wrong and you are the expert here so feel free to correct me. I think ultimately, it is a numbers game. Sometimes, you can do all of that and it can eat up your time but it will not get you the result you want which is closing the girl of your choice. In that time, you could have talked to so many more girls and gone direct until finding a girl you like who is into you.

There will always be an aspect of "numbers game in pick up". Same goes with job searches, college applications, grant applications - or anything in life really. But seeing pick up as a numbers game, is not a healthy outlook "yeah just approach - after all it is all a numbers game" is as healthy in pick up, as it is when applying for jobs. Afterall, if you apply for hundreds of jobs, you may eventually get one, after a long and tiresome process. Or, you can better your CV, tailor your CV and cover letters to the job, etc, etc. . A good CV and tailored application can drastically reduce the "numbers" you have to put into it (a guy with a pristine CV does not need to send 200 applications that 99% of the time leads to a generic rejection email). In pick up, the equivalent is bettering your game, and calibrating to the girl. The better it is, the fewer girls you have to approach to get the girl.

Or, you can opt for "networking" your way into a job. The equivalent in pick up is social proof based game.

Make sense?

Will networking always grant a job? No. But you do it right and efficiently, your chances are pretty good (lots of numbers to back this up). Just like when looking for jobs, there is a right way and a wrong way to build social proof, just to like there is right and wrong wayto network. Just because one does not know how to network efficiently and properly, does not mean networking for jobs "sucks" (statistically, it is the best way to get jobs). Same goes for building social proof. It is not just about chatting up a bunch of people (although that can oftentimes work).

But your reseasoning is: Instead of networking, your could have stayed home and written 40 applications that most of the time end up in the trash at HR. Instead of learning how to be good and efficient with social proof game, you think it is better to blindly mass approach in "high volume" venues. That is your choice, but not one I would pick.

-Teevster

 

[Teevster]

The other thing is that I find a lot of guys see right through it too and we have had people do this in social situations to us, we meaning my social circle mixed with girls and guys, and we saw through it. Like I even had a girl call out "he is just trying to get in her pants".

Well that game will put you in the spotlight, so what did you expect? But also, why do you really care?

In some situations, it can be your only choice, I get it. However, shouldn't we be doing all we can to go to venues where the volume is?

Not necessarily a good criteria for venue selection.

As long as ratio is decent, this factor does not matter much.

I have had "PUAs" ask, when hanging out, to go for venues that were more packed. When in such a venue, they almost never did well there. One time a guy asked me to "go to a venue with more volume" while we were in a small venue. Both me and my wing (former mod here) were doing well - I was pulling, but the struggling guy was complaining about "volume". Go figure. He did not do better in a "bigger venue" (obviously because bigger and more chaotic venues are often harder to manage - although it is easier to get "lucky" there once in a while).

-Teevster

 

[average_daygamer]

Bouncers know most guys go there to get laid. That's what people expect of the nightlife (especially men), even though clubs only "sell" this illusion - the main goal of a club is to sell booze. Still, most bouncers are aware of this and generally do not have a problem with it.

But let us see what happens when these bouncers see your rocking the venue, week end after week end, having girls over you, and worse, seeing you leave with some chick more or less every night. Do that for a while, and we will see if the friendly US bouncer remains "friendly".

Bouncers were never a real issue (especially in this regard) until I started to really master this. Others at my level experienced the same.

It is not a US vs Europe thing.

-Teevster

It seems to be a social level thing.

If you are at a very low social level (mid 30s, alone, Asperger's)

You will attract attention from security.

However, I am surprised to learn, teevster, that being popular inside the venue can make the security see you negatively. I would have thought that would work in your favour? I am likely to never have to worry about that.

As for the culture thing. Yes, but it is also an age thing. If you are a middle aged guy in a venue full of 18 (or even 16,17 sometimes)-23 year olds, it's going to be creepy to go to the bouncers and chat about tryna get laid, they are gonna thing you are a pervert of some kind.

If you were in your mid or early 20s, they would just see you behaving as expected for your age group.

As an older seducer, you have to be discreet with your approaches and statements.

There is also a bigger focus on women's safety at least in the UK, but I would suspect the rest of Europe to be the same. There are so many posters about schemes (ask for Angela) for girls who don't feel safe and the security will come down HARD on any male making the girls feel unsafe, especially if they are an older male.

 

[Teevster]

It seems to be a social level thing.

If you are at a very low social level (mid 30s, alone, Asperger's)

You will attract attention from security.

Yeah but for totally different reasons than the one the I advocated.

As for the culture thing. Yes, but it is also an age thing. If you are a middle aged guy in a venue full of 18 (or even 16,17 sometimes)-23 year olds, it's going to be creepy to go to the bouncers and chat about tryna get laid, they are gonna thing you are a pervert of some kind.

I am nearing my mid 30s. My game peaked in my 20s.

Interestingly, after reaching my 30s, bouncers have started becoming "nicer" again - probably because they see 30+ individuals as better clients (they spend more and tend to cause less trouble).

If you were in your mid or early 20s, they would just see you behaving as expected for your age group.

But... no...

As an older seducer, you have to be discreet with your approaches and statements.

To me it is my default. I learned the hard way when I peaked in my mid 20s.

There is also a bigger focus on women's safety at least in the UK, but I would suspect the rest of Europe to be the same. There are so many posters about schemes (ask for Angela) for girls who don't feel safe and the security will come down HARD on any male making the girls feel unsafe, especially if they are an older male.

Try Scandinavia, especially Sweden...

You seem to have a lot of beliefs, but I am unsure where you get them from. At least our perceptions and experiences seems to differ on every level.

-Teevster

 

[average_daygamer]

Yeah but for totally different reasons than the one the I advocated.



I am nearing my mid 30s. My game peaked in my 20s.

Interestingly, after reaching my 30s, bouncers have started becoming "nicer" again - probably because they see 30+ individuals as better clients (they spend more and tend to cause less trouble).



But... no...



To me it is my default. I learned the hard way when I peaked in my mid 20s.



Try Scandinavia, especially Sweden...

You seem to have a lot of beliefs, but I am unsure where you get them from. At least our perceptions and experiences seems to differ on every level.

-Teevster

I can summarise the last bit very easy. My beliefs I get are from my own experiences gaming solo as an older male approacher. It is a hostile environment out here.

I definitely think that as a young 20 something the security wouldn't see you as much as a threat as a 30 something hanging around a club with late teens and early 20s almost exclusively.

Your perceptions are based on your experiences, the difference is that they have been overwhelmingly positive.

 

[Teevster]

I can summarise the last bit very easy. My beliefs I get are from my own experiences gaming solo as an older male approacher. It is a hostile environment out here.

I definitely think that as a young 20 something the security wouldn't see you as much as a threat as a 30 something hanging around a club with late teens and early 20s almost exclusively.

Your perceptions are based on your experiences, the difference is that they have been overwhelmingly positive.

Perhaps then, the main question is, why is my experience "positive" and why isn't yours?

Note that I advocated for discretion (unless opting for social proof game - but even then, I do not do any overt move in front of bouncers and tend to avoid approaching too much when I know their eyes are on me).

I am 30+ and do not generally have problems with bouncers. You are in your 30s and imply that bouncers can be problematic for people in our age group. Maybe the issue relates to how you are being perceived - e.g. it relates to something you are doing (wrong)?

-Teevster

 

[RisingCane]

There will always be an aspect of "numbers game in pick up". Same goes with job searches, college applications, grant applications - or anything in life really. But seeing pick up as a numbers game, is not a healthy outlook "yeah just approach - after all it is all a numbers game" is as healthy in pick up, as it is when applying for jobs. Afterall, if you apply for hundreds of jobs, you may eventually get one, after a long and tiresome process. Or, you can better your CV, tailor your CV and cover letters to the job, etc, etc. . A good CV and tailored application can drastically reduce the "numbers" you have to put into it (a guy with a pristine CV does not need to send 200 applications that 99% leads to a generic rejection email). In pick up, the equivalent bettering your game, and calibrating to the girl. The better it is, the fewer girls you have to approach to get the girl.

Or, you can opt for "networking" your way into a job. The equivalent in pick up is social proof based game.

Make sense?

Will networking always grant a job? No. But you do it right and efficiently, your chances are pretty good (lots of numbers to back this up). Just liek when looking for jobs, there is a right way and a wrong way to network. Just because one does not know how to network efficiently and properly, does not mean networking for jobs "sucks" (statistically, it is the best way to get jobs).

But your reseasoning is: Instead of networking, your could have stayed home and written 40 applications that most of the time end up in the trash at HR. Instead of learning how to be good and efficient with social proof game, you think it is better to blindly mass approach in "high volume" venues. That is your choice, but not one I would pick.

-Teevster

What a coincidence you make this analogy because I was in this exact situation a year ago after being laid off and looking for a new role. Here is what I actually experienced.

When I was referred to a job by a friend or contact that works at the company, I did get an interview but in reality, it rarely progressed that much past that. What I found was that someone else could like me at the company such as a friend or something but at the end of the day, if the manager did not like me or one team member did not like me, it was game over. I endured this through a few companies I wanted to work at, someone would refer me and then when it came to the interview, as well as I did, maybe the manager had it out for me or they went with an internal hire.

On the other hand, blinding applying did not work for me either. It almost never led to a good thing, not even a job interview.

So what worked for me? Instead of applying to the job, I looked up who the hiring manager was and literally just reached out to them. I found a tool which has their email and number and I reached out to them that way. I had 4 job offers this way.

Was it the ballsiest move? Absolutely.

But there was a catch to this, now I became choosy of what jobs I did go for. I became choosy of the jobs I applied to. I knew I had to put my pride on the line and do some ballsy things so realistically, I did not apply to 90% of the jobs out there.

Shifting to the Game equivalent of this, I agree with you, you should be doing fewer approaches. However, if an approach is wasting time and just not going to pull, it is better to know that earlier rather than trying to do the whole social gymnastics of networking to get in her pants.

It's almost like I rather hear in the first round of interviews they are going to go with an internal hire than drag me through 2 months worth of interviews to tell me that. Ask me how I know lol!

 

[Teevster]

What a coincidence you make this analogy because I was in this exact situation a year ago after being laid off and looking for a new role. Here is what I actually experienced.

Well, initially, I was trying to make an analogy but not really trying to take up the role as a "job hunt" coach. Nevertheless, you bring some interesting altough slightly off-topic points (but I am to blame, since I was the one dragging the conversation in this direction - furthermore, it is your thread after all).

When I was referred to a job by a friend or contact that works at the company, I did get an interview but in reality, it rarely progressed that much past that. What I found was that someone else could like me at the company such as a friend or something but at the end of the day, if the manager did not like me or one team member did not like me, it was game over. I endured this through a few companies I wanted to work at, someone would refer me and then when it came to the interview, as well as I did, maybe the manager had it out for me or they went with an internal hire.

The internal hire thing is such a plague - not because people hire internally, but because despite already making up their mind, they still list positions publicly and make motivated individuals waste their time. It is just so lame.

But yeah, you still got BETTER results than those who just played the numbers game right?

However, in your case, it really depends who you met, how you met them. If you meet big boss at an event... well...

On the other hand, blinding applying did not work for me either. It almost never led to a good thing, not even a job interview.

Ditto, never worked for me - like EVER. I know some people who got lucky, but those are few. Those who do get jobs like this, tend to apply for low-skilled jobs. The exceptions are jobs in the public sector - and even there, you need to have a decent CV.

So what worked for me? Instead of applying to the job, I looked up who the hiring manager was and literally just reached out to them. I found a tool which has their email and number and I reached out to them that way. I had 4 job offers this way.

Yeah, I did something similar.

Was it the ballsiest move? Absolutely.

But there was a catch to this, now I became choosy of what jobs I did go for. I became choosy of the jobs I applied to. I knew I had to put my pride on the line and do some ballsy things so realistically, I did not apply to 90% of the jobs out there.

And you did not waste much time.

Shifting to the Game equivalent of this, I agree with you, you should be doing fewer approaches. However, if an approach is wasting time and just not going to pull, it is better to know that earlier rather than trying to do the whole social gymnastics of networking to get in her pants.

Yeah for sure, although it depends here - if you want the challenge, and pushing yourself can sometimes be good, just to see how it goes - it is useful for the learning curve. I tend to recommend this option when... there are no other options, or in periods with high momentum.

However, I also have noticed that there is a lot of biases around when beginners and intermediates tries to assess whether a girl is a waste of time or not. Maybe she is a bit cold and grumpy. You assume she is hard? but what if, once you crack the initial phase, she ends up having pristine logistics and no resistance to sex. Was she hard?

Or maybe she is hard, but you have perfect logistics and perfect setting to run the type of game that is required to "crack her".

Many examples here. This is why I think going for the early game screening thing as a default, may not be so wise after all - at last not all the times. It can easily turn into a cope/crutch.

I wrote about this subject here and here.

It's almost like I rather hear in the first round of interviews they are going to go with an internal hire than drag me through 2 months worth of interviews to tell me that. Ask me how I know lol!

Well the equivalent for pick up here would be to find out whether her fuckbuddy is going to show up that night, or whether she has plans to head back to his place after she is done with her night out. This can easily be screened for by basically asking what her plans for the night are.

-Teevster