Nightgame recommendations for living far from the venues

[TomInHo]

Honestly some women I spent time with were more into socialising, but were hot so I thought, whatever let’s see how this turns out.

Ye I get it. But as you can see it doesn't always work out when you hang with girls that only want to socialize. Not saying you can never convert them, but it's easy to waste tons of time on girls that are just luke warm about you

There were others though that I had escalated, they were kissing me too, I had talked to their friends and they seemed to like me, even telling their friend she is free to go with me if she wants to, but in the end they just didn’t.

I'm guessing you did this earlier in the night no?

So one thing about escalating is you always want to leave some room for more. If you are making out all night and groping her then you become "club makeout guy"

They got all their sexual validation from you and may not be motivated to continue

So when escalating with endurance game you have to do a good amount of push and pull to keep her on edge

Think about it like this. . .

1) You escalate early to test interest
2) Once interest is confirmed escalate just enough to keep her wanting more

Think of it like building sexual tension and she will want to come home with you to relieve some of it. Or if logistics really are fucked may be down to meet for a date or hangout late

So I’ve gotten to the point of wondering how much escalation is even desirable, and how I should be going about it. I am not really uncomfortable to make a move, it’s more that I don’t know if it is even good at this point, or it just gives them enough validation and they don’t want more.

I covered the escalation bit above

Yeah I won’t lie, probably this is my main issue seduction wise in general.

I feel my biggest issue is in fact that I don’t know what kind of type of guy I want to show. I mean I can go to bachata parties, to upscale lounges, to techno clubs and enjoy them, while also like the women in all these places. So I am not even sure what it makes sense to build myself as.

If you're not sure what to build yourself as then work backwards.

What types of venues do you love to go to. As in if their were no women around would you even enjoy that place?

Then think about the hottest girls you notice in those venues. What is their social persona?

Are they Artsy girls? Clout Chasers? Goth? Ravers?

Then build your presentation to be the kind of guy that makes sense in their world. Dress and vibe in a way that plays into the fantasy they’re already dressing up for.

And if you’re worried that sounds fake. . .don’t trip

Most girls don’t even dress like that in real life or at work. At night, they become a fantasy version of themselves. You matching that vibe isn’t fake. . . it’s called being socially intelligent

You're both doing the same exact thing

Just wanted to add that because I know whenever I have talked to guys about this in the past its common hang up

One thing here is that I am not sure I can recognise if she is DTF or she is just accepting my escalation without any intention to fuck eventually. I think the experiences I have mentioned above have made me skeptical towards women that are even attracted to me seemingly.

Think about the points on escalation I talked about before

The other thing is connected to your previous point. I generally feel that most of the girls I like a lot are at the very least neutral, and almost never DTF to me, so I feel I need to really run proper game if I want to get them and not some less attractive girl that would be DTF.

Then you need to ask: Is your presentation aligned with their fantasy?

Because again. . .hot girls are not fantasizing about hooking up with “some nice guy” they just met in jeans and a t-shirt

If they wanted that they would just hit up Jerry in Accounting

When hot women go out it's for fun, an escape, to live out a fantasy.

You already told me you have no clear image or edge. Be realistic with yourself

Why would a girl who spent an hour on hair, makeup, and outfit be DTF for a guy who didn’t put any thought into his presentation?

She dressed like a character. A character meant to attract her fantasy man

Now imagine this. . .

You walk in, already dressed and groomed exactly like the guy she pictured while getting ready with her friends

She sees you across the room. . . How do you think she feels in that moment?

Then, she notices another guy. He’s not ugly. She even thinks he's kinda cute but he’s dressed like his mom styled him

Now ask yourself...

How do you think she’ll feel when both men walk up to her and say hello? Who will she be more excited about?

I think you already know the answer

 

[Chase]

A lot of folks are talking about "15 minutes is close" but it really depends on the city.

In a huge, congested metropolis where everyone commutes from an hour outside of the city to go party, 15 minutes is good logistics.

In a more spread out city like San Diego though, 15 minutes is "far". e.g., if you're going out in the Gaslamp District (downtown club area), you ideally want to have an apartment in the Gaslamp District. If you're pulling to PB or North Park, 15 minutes away, it's "far" for that town. Most people are used to driving 5-10 minutes to get to where they need to get to.

I'd like to hear what kind of game strategy would be advised for same night lays in this situation. I generally go out solo, so I feel there are not many: "Let's go have an afterparty" offers I can make, when it will obviously be me with the girls, and I sense that a girl has to really logically decide: "Ok I don't mind sleeping with this guy", in order to commit to get in the same cab with me all the way to my place, when she may be staying somewhere not even close to there.

Just find a standard pull line that works for you:

• "Let's go have a nightcap. I know a place nearby with cheap drinks and really good music."
• "Let's go have those exotic teas / Swiss chocolates / French wines I was telling you about."
• [whatever you seeded earlier and she seemed excited about]

Then just shave off five minutes of your estimate to the arrival:

"I'll book an Uber. It's about a 10-minute drive."

Most girls won't say anything about the fudged numbers... most girls don't really know city distances.

Girls who know the city well may check you on it occasionally: "PB? That's at least 15 minutes."

You just hold frame and shrug it off. "Eh? I guess I don't pay much attention. It goes by quick with good company."

Then just keep the small talk and banter going as you wait for the ride and take the ride.

Get her back home & you're in the clear.

Chase

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I'm guessing you did this earlier in the night no?

So one thing about escalating is you always want to leave some room for more. If you are making out all night and groping her then you become "club makeout guy"

They got all their sexual validation from you and may not be motivated to continue

Yeah I do know that. In fact I believe I had been paying attention to it as much as I could.

Even when the meetings were earlier in the night I had in my mind to not be the makeout guy.

I would kiss here and there but would let it breath too. Maybe it was still too much though.

What types of venues do you love to go to. As in if their were no women around would you even enjoy that place?

This is a good point. I go to a number of different events because I enjoy variety regarding the vibe and the women.

So sometimes I feel it’s too much effort to be changing my style all the time according to where I go.

If I would take one place to go without any women at all it would probably be some kind of cocktail bar/lounge, maybe with a bit of dance floor, but not crazy stuff.

And that’s the kind of place I go the least lately in fact lol.

When I go to clubs I don’t care much about dancing the new reggaeton hit or going crazy if there are no women prospects involved. They do look hot though, maybe even in a more fun, approachable and let’s experience the night mood than at a sit down venue.

Without thinking of game I can also go to some latin party to dance, I was in one yesterday in fact. And yeah it did feel like I didn’t have the typical latin salsa dancer look.

Most girls don’t even dress like that in real life or at work. At night, they become a fantasy version of themselves. You matching that vibe isn’t fake. . . it’s called being socially intelligent

You're both doing the same exact thing

Just wanted to add that because I know whenever I have talked to guys about this in the past its common hang up

Yeah I can see where this is coming from. Exactly because I’ve been going to a number of different places sometimes it does feel a bit weird to dress for a rock night tonight and for a hip hop party tomorrow.

In the end you start feeling well I am me, I am not going to be changing my style every time I go out just to fit with the crowd, I should be able to have my style, go with it anywhere, and charm people anyway if I am really high value.

There is an issue regarding being taken seriously and not being perceived as that strange guy with the button down shirt in the rock concert though, at least initially.

Why would a girl who spent an hour on hair, makeup, and outfit be DTF for a guy who didn’t put any thought into his presentation?

Honestly, if I had to answer that I would say because he manages to make her feel something?

I mean maybe that is game and we are not talking about game now but DTF girls, so I suppose I always underestimated the power of being initially attracted so much to a guy that you would be down to have sex right away.

I’ve had it happen but since it was generally with less attractive girls, I felt that it’s not sustainable and hot girls would need some proper amount of game anyway.

How do you think she’ll feel when both men walk up to her and say hello? Who will she be more excited about?

So yeah my general focus had been how to bypass this initial reaction and get her thinking: Wait who is this guy?

Can’t say I am doing very well with it though, I mostly felt it was a game issue regarding the way I open and vibe with them, so didn’t think that the initial look would change many things, maybe give me some friendlier openings but then not much.

It makes sense to approach the whole thing in a more targeted way though. I’ve been getting tired of going to clubs with different kinds of music and trying to make it work. Maybe I should just look into how to approach in a cocktail bar.

 

[TomInHo]

@ChrisXKiss

Okay, I get where you’re coming from. From your response, it sounds like there’s some cognitive dissonance going on, especially around your identity

I feel you may be attached to how a High Value man should be idealistically, and there's a disconnect of how that shows up practically in the real world

Which is totally normal when new perspectives challenge your current worldview

I could make some counterarguments, but that probably wouldn’t change much since it seems like your mind is made up

So rather than going back and forth, I’ll just let these ideas sit with you

Reflect on them, test them out in the real world, see what resonates, see what actually works

At the end of the day, it’s your choice

 

[ChrisXKiss]

I feel you may be attached to how a High Value man should be idealistically, and there's a disconnect of how that shows up practically in the real world

Yeah I see what you mean here. When I started this whole seduction journey it’s not like I knew what is high value or what gets girls. So I’ve been mostly going with what is taught in the community.

One thing I’ve generally felt reading girls chase is that it’s good to not put yourself in hierarchies or let people put labels on you.

And since Chase himself has stated how he used to socialise and be comfortable with all kinds of different people, I assumed it is possible to be yourself and navigate successfully through all types of social groups.

That would be a question to @Chase in fact. How do you go from dealing with people of one particular type one day to totally different people the other day.

Do you change the way you dress and behave drastically? Are there core characteristics that you keep expressing with everyone pretty much the same?

And are there fundamental ways to be universally high value to most people you come across no matter how they present themselves and what kind of background they have?

Maybe this is not even practical as a goal, because if you try to do everything and appeal to everyone you will fail by default.

And I’m not looking at it from a needy way of wanting everyone to like me. But more of a way of me wanting to appreciate everyone since we are all humans deep inside and our basic needs and desires are the same, whether you are a goth nurse or a posh lawyer.

 

[Spike]

Do you change the way you dress and behave drastically? Are there core characteristics that you keep expressing with everyone pretty much the same?

I know this is the reason you’re hesitant to listen to @TomInHo advice. He’s got you thinking you need to change your style to each time to cater to the venue your going for to. And change your personality to fit with the outfit. Well I’m here to tell you, you don’t need to do all that. I never change my outfits to fit the venues I go to.

because

And are there fundamental ways to be universally high value to most people you come across no matter how they present themselves and what kind of background they have?

I know how to dress and look to signal universal high value

 

[Skills]

Honestly some women I spent time with were more into socialising, but were hot so I thought, whatever let’s see how this turns out.

There were others though that I had escalated, they were kissing me too, I had talked to their friends and they seemed to like me, even telling their friend she is free to go with me if she wants to, but in the end they just didn’t.

So I’ve gotten to the point of wondering how much escalation is even desirable, and how I should be going about it. I am not really uncomfortable to make a move, it’s more that I don’t know if it is even good at this point, or it just gives them enough validation and they don’t want more.


Yeah I won’t lie, probably this is my main issue seduction wise in general.

I feel my biggest issue is in fact that I don’t know what kind of type of guy I want to show. I mean I can go to bachata parties, to upscale lounges, to techno clubs and enjoy them, while also like the women in all these places. So I am not even sure what it makes sense to build myself as.


One thing here is that I am not sure I can recognise if she is DTF or she is just accepting my escalation without any intention to fuck eventually. I think the experiences I have mentioned above have made me skeptical towards women that are even attracted to me seemingly.

The other thing is connected to your previous point. I generally feel that most of the girls I like a lot are at the very least neutral, and almost never DTF to me, so I feel I need to really run proper game if I want to get them and not some less attractive girl that would be DTF.

And I guess I sometimes would do even these last ones to get some action, but I think they can feel I would do it without being that interested into them and just because I found some available sex, and they reject me due to that.

Brah if this is the case in your area that is easier lol... Public transport that is in my area they take uber or lift of one of the friends drive

 

[Skills]

I know this is the reason you’re hesitant to listen to @TomInHo advice. He’s got you thinking you need to change your style to each time to cater to the venue your going for to. And change your personality to fit with the outfit. Well I’m here to tell you, you don’t need to do all that. I never change my outfits to fit the venues I go to.

because


I know how to dress and look to signal universal high value

Correct

 

[TomInHo]

Yeah I see what you mean here. When I started this whole seduction journey it’s not like I knew what is high value or what gets girls. So I’ve been mostly going with what is taught in the community.

One thing I’ve generally felt reading girls chase is that it’s good to not put yourself in hierarchies or let people put labels on you.

And since Chase himself has stated how he used to socialise and be comfortable with all kinds of different people, I assumed it is possible to be yourself and navigate successfully through all types of social groups.

That would be a question to @Chase in fact. How do you go from dealing with people of one particular type one day to totally different people the other day.

Do you change the way you dress and behave drastically? Are there core characteristics that you keep expressing with everyone pretty much the same?

And are there fundamental ways to be universally high value to most people you come across no matter how they present themselves and what kind of background they have?

Maybe this is not even practical as a goal, because if you try to do everything and appeal to everyone you will fail by default.

And I’m not looking at it from a needy way of wanting everyone to like me. But more of a way of me wanting to appreciate everyone since we are all humans deep inside and our basic needs and desires are the same, whether you are a goth nurse or a posh lawyer.

Read this article from Chase

https://www.girlschase.com/comment/64888

Replace Blonde bombshell with any type of specific

I know how to dress and look to signal universal high value

Errrr. . . . Aren't you the same guy that was talking about optimizing his look for 18 - 23 year olds?

Wasn't it you that said this in this thread?

Yeah. And there’s a world of difference between what an 18 year old girl is attracted to and will sleep with vs what a 25 year old girl is attracted to and will sleep with. Which is why I always stress target demographic. None of what I say is for those targeting the 25+ year old demographic. Simple.

Anyways, @ChrisXKiss just read the article, listen to Chase, or do whateva you want

I won't post anymore on this thread because what was needed to be said has been said. Hope it all works out

 

[Skills]

A lot of folks are talking about "15 minutes is close" but it really depends on the city.

In a huge, congested metropolis where everyone commutes from an hour outside of the city to go party, 15 minutes is good logistics.

In a more spread out city like San Diego though, 15 minutes is "far". e.g., if you're going out in the Gaslamp District (downtown club area), you ideally want to have an apartment in the Gaslamp District. If you're pulling to PB or North Park, 15 minutes away, it's "far" for that town. Most people are used to driving 5-10 minutes to get to where they need to get to.



Just find a standard pull line that works for you:

• "Let's go have a nightcap. I know a place nearby with cheap drinks and really good music."
• "Let's go have those exotic teas / Swiss chocolates / French wines I was telling you about."
• [whatever you seeded earlier and she seemed excited about]

Then just shave off five minutes of your estimate to the arrival:

"I'll book an Uber. It's about a 10-minute drive."

Most girls won't say anything about the fudged numbers... most girls don't really know city distances.

Girls who know the city well may check you on it occasionally: "PB? That's at least 15 minutes."

You just hold frame and shrug it off. "Eh? I guess I don't pay much attention. It goes by quick with good company."

Then just keep the small talk and banter going as you wait for the ride and take the ride.

Get her back home & you're in the clear.

Chase

Meaning 15 minutes from club or venue to closing place... It should not be a problem if the girl is properly seduce... I had girls that lived or stayed right at the club that I didn't bang... I had girls that we drove an hour and bang... It comes down as we all agree on she wanting to cont spending time with you at point of extraction... main problem guys have an op is that clubs have become last couple of years (and it does keep changing like the stock market all over the place) but as i am writing this answer today... Social circle light, in USA night game.. i am talking generally...and yes hot women will most of time with people but is just different i don't even know how to explain other than social circle light..

Op if you go to a latin club you don't need to dress like latin guys there, trust me they are behind in style
..you just want to find a specific look for the girls you want and keep it modern... But you will be able to attract girls from other niches if is right..and is a universal accepted such as i do Street style... But i can go to a latin club or hip hop or edm or goth and do well in all of them spike point...

 

[Spike]

Wasn't it you that said this in this thread?

Yes. I dress the same way whether the bar I’m going to is a fratty bar or a gay bar. Because I’m in a college town, both bars will have 18-20 year old girls inside them. Even if there are less bisexual girls in the fratty bars.

 

[Rancorous]

In my opinion, if you live more than a 5 minute drive or a 10 minute walk from the venues, you live too far away. Most women say forget it. And I don't blame them.

You gotta keep in mind that need to get back to their place in the morning so they don't wanna wonder off too far.

I think you're better off renting a room near the venue to see how well you can pull.

If you're getting results consider moving to a closer location near the venues.

But logistics are key for pickup and pull.