Nueva década, nueva vida

Fluxcapacitor

Modern Human
Modern Human
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Dec 17, 2018
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780
This might be a subconscious defense-mechanism to the shitty circumstances we all find ourselves in with this stupid pandemic - however I find my sex drive and my motivation to actually meet women has decreased the past few months.

Like I am perfectly content working out, doing my job, consuming cannabis, and playing video games at home. The desire for contact with women has just gone down.

If I could actually go out I would. When I went on Friday it lifted my spirits considerably. But its not something I crave anymore. I'm certainly masturbating a lot less.

Let's just hope we have a vaccine that works before this causes permanent damage.
@Científico dude! This is a defense mechanic. In times of stress and uncertainty (think war) sex drive decreases because it's not needed for survival, instinct kicks in. This has been noted by teevster and myself with mentioning girls lack of sex drive during all of this and rationalised/ justified/ explained by @Skills who compared it to sex drives dropping in war time which I found accurate.

I'm actually the opposite to you in my sex drive and desire for contact with girls has increased, but I suppose this is because I work with a lot of girls and for the most part it feels like business as usual. The sexual innuendo, flirting and teasing has increased from the girls with lack of contact elsewhere which puts me in a vicious cycle of not being able to shit where I eat.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
Thanks for the comment dude. Possibly you are correct - the fact that you still have regular contact with girls is still keeping your mojo going. In contrast, my contact with women in the field has been extremely limited during this time, leading me to go crazy some days.

Day game is just much lower throughput these days. Not only are people wearing masks, but the number of approachable sets in general is down. I went on a walk in my local neighborhood today (Saturday afternoon) to stop at three different locations for some errands, and only saw ONE slavic-looking woman I definitely wanted to approach. She shut me down hard.

As we head into the Fall and the temperature starts to decrease again, I'll bring back the bike rides - these were good for exercise and for covering large distances, which was way better for cold approaching - see more people.

In the meantime, still working on cleaning up my diet even further and getting consistent with my workouts. I am experimenting with creatine - the only supplement that seems to have actual data supporting it works.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
Tribal Elder
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Nov 11, 2019
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@Científico dude! This is a defense mechanic. In times of stress and uncertainty (think war) sex drive decreases because it's not needed for survival, instinct kicks in. This has been noted by teevster and myself with mentioning girls lack of sex drive during all of this and rationalised/ justified/ explained by @Skills who compared it to sex drives dropping in war time which I found accurate.

I'm actually the opposite to you in my sex drive and desire for contact with girls has increased, but I suppose this is because I work with a lot of girls and for the most part it feels like business as usual. The sexual innuendo, flirting and teasing has increased from the girls with lack of contact elsewhere which puts me in a vicious cycle of not being able to shit where I eat.

I never said sex drives dropped that has not been my experience or the girls I am seeing, the whole sex drive stuff, I am having sex as usual
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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South Florida
Thanks for the comment dude. Possibly you are correct - the fact that you still have regular contact with girls is still keeping your mojo going. In contrast, my contact with women in the field has been extremely limited during this time, leading me to go crazy some days.

Day game is just much lower throughput these days. Not only are people wearing masks, but the number of approachable sets in general is down. I went on a walk in my local neighborhood today (Saturday afternoon) to stop at three different locations for some errands, and only saw ONE slavic-looking woman I definitely wanted to approach. She shut me down hard.

As we head into the Fall and the temperature starts to decrease again, I'll bring back the bike rides - these were good for exercise and for covering large distances, which was way better for cold approaching - see more people.

In the meantime, still working on cleaning up my diet even further and getting consistent with my workouts. I am experimenting with creatine - the only supplement that seems to have actual data supporting it works.
I found this to be the case, day game is a huge waste of time not enough volume, I found a way around the mask that also helps with the aa that having mutual mask gives, pretend to be talking on the phone prior to opening, then open, another thing that has worked for me is the hit and run opener, open kind of leave then reopened... mask made me get on my head and gave me a bit of aa. I also sing and then open... again this are things that helped me personally with the mask aa combined with lack of volume
 

Fluxcapacitor

Modern Human
Modern Human
Joined
Dec 17, 2018
Messages
780
I never said sex drives dropped that has not been my experience or the girls I am seeing, the whole sex drive stuff, I am having sex as usual
Skills dude! You didn't say sex drives have dropped no, this is something I've experienced and noted most notably by teevster with his experience. However you gave the perfect rationalisation to why, you commented that in times of stress like in war the body prioritises what it needs to survive and sex drives drop.
 

Skills

Tribal Elder
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Messages
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Skills dude! You didn't say sex drives have dropped no, this is something I've experienced and noted most notably by teevster with his experience. However you gave the perfect rationalisation to why, you commented that in times of stress like in war the body prioritises what it needs to survive and sex drives drop.
Got u my bad!
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
Thanks for the comments gentlemen.

There is a downstairs convenient store worker, a big-boobed Salvadoran chick, that I am interested in. I have seen her only 2-3 times, and only once without a mask on.

Today I had a brief opportunity to go for a number close when I was buying wine at the place. She was investing in the conversation we were having at the check out - asking about me, etc. We spoke for probably 2-3 minutes. Unfortunately just as I was about to go for it the phone rang and she went to answer. It always sucks when this happens when I am trying to pick up so-called "hired guns" - the closing window is very quick before she gets distracted, so I have to remember to do it sooner rather than later.

The good thing is I know where she works and there will be opportunities to try again.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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437
Today. 7:30 am this morning as I was walking outside with my morning coffee, I got a very clear IOI from a woman walking past. Eye contact and slight smile.

Did not approach. At that moment, my mind just wasn't up to it. Maybe it was the brain fog from it being so early. Perhaps I could blame the pandemic for causing me to lose my momentum. However, I know myself - it was simply the fact that I wasn't "planning" on doing any approaches, and the opportunity came too quickly for me to pounce.

I'm not good at doing one approach here and there when opportunities arise. Especially, not during this moment when I haven't been doing much approaching in general. I need to get back into a routine of going out just for the sake of approaching. This is what works for me, and what gets me in the right "state" more often to seize opportunities once they arise.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
My new daygame plan will be integrated into my current workout/fasting routine.

Currently I'm doing the so-called "5:2" intermittent fasting plan, where two days of the week one eats only 25% of normal calories. It was hard at first but I am now getting used to it - essentially on the two calorie-restricted days I eat one meal at 5 pm, supplemented with coffee + almond milk throughout the afternoon. I also recently started a brand new workout routine I purchased online, which I am doing on the 5 normal eating days. The two fasting days I am resting.

On these two fasting days, what I will do instead is get outside, walk around, and approach a minimum of three women. The idea is to avoid a resurgence of AA, which always seems to come back in time no matter how many approaches one does, and get myself back into a state where I can capitalize on good random opportunities like the one I had on Monday morning.

I'll also do a minimum of three approaches on a weekend day (Saturday). Nine approaches a week doesn't seem like much but it is way above what I have been doing the past few months in the absence of any kind of plan. This will supplement the current online game I am trying to optimize.

We will see where I am after a few weeks of this.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
437
Yesterday's three approaches went well. Foot traffic is down of course and one has to be walking around for a bit to find a suitable set. I went out in the morning for a walk in my local neighborhood and got out two - first was a MILF walking her dog. She was pleasant but not interested, and immediately volunteered the info that she was married. The second approach was a woman with a yoga mat and mask - it turns out she was getting ready to teach an outdoor fitness class. She was even more friendly than the first woman, but still firmly communicated that she was married and could not go out with me.

I could not find another set in the morning, so in the afternoon I took a break from work, went back outside to do one more. I didnt see anyone for a good 15 minutes. But then suddenly - who do I see? None other than that big boobed salvadoran chick again on her way to work. I stopped her, chatted her up briefly and went for the number close.

She actually put up some resistance, saying "Ask me again in the store - I have to think about it" and the classic "let me get YOUR number". I said "ok give me your phone" put my number in there and then called myself to complete the number exchange. As I did this she was laughing and briefly took off her mask, so I saw her grin. I wished her a good day then went on my way, then texted her my name.

I'll wait several days before hitting her up.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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437
This long weekend I had an unfortunate situation to take care of which I wont detail in this journal. However it did get me in the mood to continue my recent new-found enthusiasm for cold approach during the day.

There is no doubt about it, cold approaching is fun. Who would want to restrict themselves to online dating apps when there are real live women outside you can go talk to? I feel sorry for the dudes that don't know how to cold approach and their only source of leads right now is dating apps - unless you are in upper echelon in looks (tall with a six pack), you are simply not going to get good results on dating apps without substantial effort in photography and fitness. I am working on it (new fitness routine I previously discussed, and currently talking to a legit freelance photographer) but in the meantime, cold approach remains one of my favorite ways to meet females.

Inspired by an article Chase recently wrote, I decided to scout out some new locations today. I had a very modest goal of three approaches just like the other day, knowing that foot traffic is down overall everywhere. However within the span of scouting out several spots in a few hours I got out 8 approaches and obtained 3 numbers, which is a successful day-game outing by that measure (though as any player knows, getting the phone number in fact means very little). Below is the breakdown:

Location A: Previous town I used to live

I recently moved locations in 2020 and decided to check out my old neighborhood as a first stop, not expecting much. Indeed, it was exactly as I imaged - very few approacheable sets on the main crowded street.

1.) I only did one approach here - I saw one latina-looking girl in a summer dress wearing a mask that I let pass due to AA - but then saw her again 20 minutes later and decided to open.

She was Portuguese, and it was low investment with a soft hook, and she gave me the boyfriend objection when I tried to close. I pushed past it with the usual "I dont want to be your boyfriend" and she actually complied and gave me the number - it's always funny when this happens. I don't believe the chances of a reply to my text is high but we'll see.

Location B: Nearby college campus

This was an entirely new place to daygame and it was fantastic. Lots of very young coeds walking around everywhere. In fact curiously enough, most of the students walking around about their business appeared to be women. I'm not even sure where the dudes were. I got looks and IOIs just walking around. I just know I shouldn't be day gaming there too much since I am a man in his 30's and I do not want to be seen on a campus excessively chatting up 18-22 year olds.

However it is quite clear that going to a college campus is a great way to find a high concentration of girls that are hot, and young, to chat with. There are several in my area and this wont be the last time I try this. One minor obstacle was finding girls by themselves - many were in large groups of 3 or more. Another thing I perhaps have to work on is not drawing too much attention to the fact that I am much older, and not a student. If any reader has tips on how to approach on a university campus I am happy to hear them.

Did three approaches here (all outside, all the girls wearing masks, I had no mask).

2.) Cute petite girl. This one felt good. She liked my direct opener and thanked me for the compliment in a way that appeared very genuine, and invited me to walk with her. There was nice investment in her responses and she asked a few questions about me, though I had to still do most of the work as always to keep the conversation flowing. I asked for the date and the number like I normally do and she responded "Sure!" with no hesitation. Hung out after the number close for a few minutes like I always try to do.

3.) Taller girl with nice legs, Greek. I used the geography stack I like to go for when I can't think of anything else and correctly guessed her nationality after my second try. This one had a much more awkward vibe and her body language indicated she wanted to eject, she never hooked or invested, and refused the number close with the old "boyfriend" excuse.

4.) Very hot girl. She said she was of Russian origin thus I tried some of my usual teases when I know the girl is Russian - such as accusing her of being in the Bolshoi ballet, or working for the CIA/GRU. Also had that awkward body language of being in a hurry and wanting to eject. I called it out and said "you look like you have to go, but just one more thing...." and went for the close. "Boyfriend" objection, she refused the close.

Location C: Shopping Mall

I could have done more at that campus but had to leave to go to another town to meet family later in the day. On the way decided to stop by a mall as my third location, to purchase 1-2 items I needed but also try approaching women. This mall is not anywhere near where I live thus I found it low risk to try daygame, even though traffic is down and masks are mandatory/

5.) Stopped a fast walking girl in a short skirt. She looked seriously concerned, backed away, and had zero interest. This was the only complete blowout of the day.

6.) Girl inside an H+M. No hook or investment at all. Refused close.

7.) Another girl walking in the main mall space - laughed at my teases and spikes but did not hook and showed zero investment. Refused close.

8.) Calling this one an approach even though it was one of those hustlers in the mall that approach you to try to sell you a product. She looked very cute, with dark green eyes (funny thing about masks - you notice the eyes of the girl more). I was warmed up from all the previous interactions, and as soon as she approached I immediately made it man/woman by asking if she had a boyfriend and that I would consider buying a product if I could take her out on a date. She responded that she did not have a boyfriend. There was plenty of flirting here, I let her go through her motions of trying to sell me her skin product but accused her of just wanting an excuse to touch me. I also said that I did not want to date her if all she wanted from me was business (lol). She got close and there lots of intense eye contact. I asked for the number and she gave it to me.

As we head into Fall, its time to get serious - more cold approaching and pinging old leads. I would love to have 1 or 2 friends-with-benefits as the weather gets colder.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
Messages
437
I did not do the cold approaches I wanted today....but I have a good excuse, since my body was beat from dancing last night until 2 am.

It was third time I go out to this venue since the pandemic started. Its so weird to be doing this during times of COVID. Masks "required" (though many people didn't give a shit) and temperature checks at the door. I am by no means a COVID denier and will limit the frequency that I do this. I am also reminded of how taxing it is on the body - even though I didn't drink, I was kinda beat today. Still got my workout in but did not do the cold approaching or errands I was thinking about doing.

Still, it was a lot of fun. Some of the old usual suspects, and a few new numbers.

One woman who I number closed was dancing by herself for the most part. Black with short hair, great body. I didn't approach right away, and at one point found myself standing right in front of her. We kinda just started dancing with each other instantly. She was extremely sensual and pushed her (masked) face right up against mine, grinded her ass on my crotch, etc. She has been responding to my pings today - I'll go for the close soon and see if I can get her out. I was even tempted to try for tonight but way too tired lol.

The other number close I got was from an older Mexican MILF who I caught making eye contact several times. She was with a friend but eventually I saw an opportunity to approach when her friend was busy with another guy, we danced, she was receptive, and I got the number. No response from her yet.

Also re-activated some old leads.

Tomorrow, I have a date in the afternoon. This is an old dancing lead from pre-pandemic. I dont even remember what she looks like all too well, but since I number closed her it's a safe assumption I will find her attractive. The date is for coffee - plan is to take her around my neighborhood, do a loop around and then extract to my apartment for "dancing".

Also set up a date for later in the week today with another girl Ive kinda dated before, but never had sex with.

We'll see how they go.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
437
My date today went well by my account, even though I wasn't able to get her to my place. It was essentially an afternoon coffee date with an old lead I met dancing just before the pandemic. Initially the girl tried to get me to "meet her halfway" but I convinced her to just drive to me. She parked where I told her, and even though I wasn't 100% sure I remembered what she looked like - of course I found her attractive since I was the one that number closed her. She was wearing a cute summer dress with flowers on it and was all smiles when I met her. She was full of positive energy and I think we vibed well due to that.

I walked her around my neighborhood and took her to a place where we got take out coffee. We sat at the first planned location across from each other and had more conversations. I did some qualification teases and spikes (such as, "you're cute, but are you interesting? What else do you do" and "That's a really cute dress you're wearing, you didn't have to try to impress me so much" ) and she reacted well. Some light physical escalation when I commented on some bracelets she was wearing, and then took her hand completely. She complied to all the touch.

I had two possibilities after the first location. The first plan was to just take her to my apartment for "dancing". I tried with some persistence but she kept saying "no, next time, next time". We actually walked by my apartment and I tried to take her up but there was more resistance I could not break through, even though I tried my best to handle her objections. So, instead I did plan B - which was a nearby open field with lots of grass. There was some more qualification on the way as she started discussing dating and relationships with me - I asked her what kind of guys she likes and she gave me a serious answer, and followed up with what kind of girls I like, to which I replied jokingly "tall, blonde, scandinavian" (exactly the opposite of her, since she is a cute shorter black girl from the Congo). We laughed together before I gave her my own serious answer.

We sat down on the grass next to each other, touching. This is when I tried to kiss her. She initially denied me but at the second or third attempt I used my hand to physically (and gently) guide her face to mine and she complied, and kissed me. One thing I am mindful of now is not to go heavy on the kissing - I LOVE kissing women, but if its too hot and heavy too early it just triggers ASD. Thus I tried to keep myself in check and kept it short and sweet. I could have even done less than I did, but in this case I don't think it mattered.

I walked her back to her car and gave her "homework", which was to send me her favorite song from a musical artist we discussed. She got back home and immediately texted me to let me know she got back, then 20-30 minutes later texted me with her "homework". I think this is a good sign for date #2. I just need to figure out how to continue this to ultimately get her to the best seduction location - my apartment.

-----------------------------------

During the date I actually saw a lot of women I would approach normally if I wasnt already with a girl. That is how it is sometimes. It was a beautiful day that would have been prime for cold approaching had I had time.

After she left I went to the grocery store and figured I would get out some approaches along the way. Unfortunately, none of them went well. In fact the second approach taught me a very important lesson - which is that I need to be changing my daygame locations and not approaching too much in my local neighborhood.

Why? Because that approach was to a tall slavic woman with a great ass, that I had already approached weeks or months ago and didn't remember. She blew me out that time, and this second time reacted even more harshly and gave me the worst public blowout I've ever had in my entire daygame career.

Thus lesson learned - limit the approaching in my local area and vary locations more. 30 minutes later or so I let a beautiful tattooed girl go by due to a resurgence in AA. Thankfully I was able to get out one more approach to a gorgeous blonde girl who laughed at my stack (I called her a cute Zebra, since she was wearing a black/white striped body suit) but didn't hook.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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437
The girl from Sunday's date just rejected me. She texted me and told me she "didnt feel a spark".

Then, I see this article from Chase today:

....and I realize I did several things wrong during the date, especially talking about past relationships, and answering the "what are you looking for" question seriously.

I still have much to learn.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Messages
437
As I was doing my cardio/HIIT training outside today, I spotted a very sexy woman leaving work and stopping to smoke a ciggarette. I recognized the opportunity and approached after finishing my sprints. She saw me working out and sweating which may have contributed to the success of this one.

I thought she was slavic (polish or ukrainian). Turns out, she was italian. It was a fast hook, within a minute. Successfully got the number.

These days where I get out one approach and it turns out well feel good. Daygame requires time and energy, which is its main disadvantage. Taking any and all opportunities to approach really pays dividends.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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437
Today was a perfect day for daygame in my city. I went out in the afternoon to an area I haven't visited since before the pandemic (again, to switch up locations a bit).

Set a goal of 5 and completed all 5. No blowouts, two hooks and both of them number closed.

I'll just comment on one of these in this post. Approach #4 was a woman with a victorias secret bag and leggings (which obviously showed off her great lower half). It was one of those where persistence AND paying attention to actions rather than words paid off.

I delivered the opener and she responded well, then I stacked with "you look latina" I was correct since she is from Brazil - neither English nor Spanish skills were very good. It was a very brief vibing period before she started to eject from the set saying she had to go. I went straight for the close "Before you go, let me get your # and we'll get a wine one of these days". She refused saying "no, no thanks" and started to walk away. However I didnt give up and just said "I'll just send you one message, you dont have to respond or not".

What happened next was very interesting. She continued to walk away, but turned her body back towards me and asked "where are you from?". Obviously the walk away was a shit test of sorts. I caught up to her and answered her question, then closed again with a line I just got from someone on youtube... "Look, I'll send you one message now, and another one in 6 months, and you can respond to both, or neither" while having my phone out. This got her and she gave me the number.

There was a very brief convo after the number close about travelling. Then, after we parted ways, literally less than a minute after I get an opener text from her.

Unfortunately I'm already at a disadvantage I think with this one because after the initial hellos over text, and her responding with a smile/blush emoji, I asked a very boring "what are you doing for the rest of your day?" question that she hasn't responded to. Not my best text game ever. I'll see if I can reengage in a few days.

The Italian from the other day is happily pinging me back, which is a good sign.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Today was another gorgeous day for daygame. Went into my local city again, in more or less the same location as yesterday but tried to hit up slightly different areas.

Set a goal of 5 approaches. Only did three because the third one turned into a long instant-date. First two were nice but did not hook. I still have a minor psychological problem approaching girls wearing masks - if I cant see the girls face, I question my attraction to her, and it also makes reading the girl much more difficult.

Then, the third approach was an engaging Colombian girl sitting on the grass in a park. She hooked, we ended up talking for quite a while, then it turned into an instant date that lasted almost two hours as we walked around together in the city.

She did most of the talking and was very invested in telling me all about her life story. My main sticking point still is to remember to escalate verbally more, and remind the girl that it's man/woman vs. friend to friend. I knew in the moment that I needed to go into sex talk but its been so long since I've practiced. Even though I enjoyed my time with her, I know there is a decent chance she'll flake or ghost when I try to make plans - just way too many boyfriend vibes and not enough sexualizing and making it man/woman.

If this happens again I'll know it's a major sticking point I need to work on. This week I need to set aside some time to review some routines for upcoming dates.
 
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Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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437
As I suspected, the girl from the instant date on Sunday has not been responding. I almost expected this. I still have areas to improve in terms of the initial cold approach, the text game and setting up the date, but my real sticking point is maintaining that attraction and sexualizing the interactions during the dates. Historically I've had major problems closing girls and several times this year I've been ghosted/flaked on after the first date (that I didn't close, obviously).

Before the pandemic, I was also very good at bringing girls back to my place and NOT closing them. If I could increase my close rate even slightly, I'd have a much better sex life. Besides the qualification and sex talk routines and avoiding DLVing myself, I could probably stand to improve my fundamentals as well (continuing to work on my fitness, maybe experimenting with different facial hair styles as well).

Regardless, the opportunities keep coming, so honestly if I get this handled I'll be very close to where I want to be. I have three dates tentatively scheduled this week:

1.) Scheduled for Thursday, with a girl I reconnected with at the dance place the other week. This is a funny case since she is one of those failed dates that I brought back to my place before the pandemic but didn't close. I've seen her out at this place twice and she seems to have improved her looks, and was giving me all kinds of buying signals. I finally decided the second time I saw her to go for it again - asked if she wanted to have wine on my new romantic balcony, she said she would. I reengaged with texting and setting it up has been easy-peasy. She is coming straight to my place that night. Probably highest chance if I play my cards right.

2.) Persistence has paid off with that woman from the virgin islands that I cold-approached all the way back in May. She initially said she reconnected with her ex, I dropped her for a few months before deciding to reengage and she responded positively. No mention of that ex again. She said Friday is a good day to meet. Right now its a frame battle though, as she is resistant to meeting me in my town where I have the best logistics. I'm honestly not sure about meeting women without good logistics anymore - the right frame has to be set from the start.

3.) Another dancer I ran into at that place. She danced very sensually with me that night and I got her number. She initially said she wasn't sure she could meet this weekend and would get back to me - then she did, and wrote a nice long text saying Sunday in the afternoon/evening would work best. Still need to set up the logistics.
 
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Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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437
Giving myself kudos today - I was leaving the parking garage after coming home from a job in the field, and I saw this beautiful dark haired woman walking on the sidewalk about 10 feet away. I didn't even blink - approached immediately. So many times in the past I would have let this go because I was not expecting it.

This is what I need to do consistently.
 

Científico

Tool-Bearing Hominid
Tool-Bearing Hominid
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Dec 20, 2018
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437
I got the notch from this girl that came over tonight. She was definitely primed and ready, all it took was a little leading and escalating from sitting, to dancing, to bed. No LMR. Total time in my apartment was less than three hours. I don't even want to type this as a LR because she is honestly a bit of a quirky and atypical girl, and I got this number all the way in back in the Fall or Winter of 2019.

Who knows if I'll see her a second time - definitely not interested in a relationship.
 
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